Send us a text I loved drinking alone. And man did it annoy me to hear that drinking alone would be the sign of a problem. In my mind, if I didn't drink alone, how would I otherwise drink? I did not have people around me who wanted to regularly drink the way I did. When I drink alone, I could be sure no one would criticize me and I would not get a DUI. I never left the house. Plus, I could "control" my drinking out and then drink the way I wanted at home. There is a reason drinking alone is the ...
Jun 13, 2023•29 min•Ep. 130
Send us a text In this episode, I chat with Tim Phillips, the host of the Sober and Happy podcast, about his journey from alcohol addiction to sobriety. Tim shares how he drank differently than his friends in college, how he tried to fit in with AA, and how he left AA and found his own path to recovery. He also talks about how he makes his podcast episodes that are short, sweet, and helpful for anyone who wants to be sober and happy. We also discuss the phenomenon of people who don’t drink at al...
Jun 06, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 129
Send us a text Setting boundaries was hard during our active addiction. We prioritized the drinking above all else. There were no boundaries during a drinking session because there was no way to predict where it would go. Our priorities were all out of wack. After getting sober, it's important to work on setting the right boundaries. That comes with knowing the right priorities and working on the personal defects that caused us to drink in the first place. Steve and I talk about some of the obst...
May 30, 2023•34 min•Ep. 128
Send us a text Laura had alcohol use disorder in her family and likely many who struggled with drinking, she thought she was immune to these challenges. Growing up she felt insecure and when she went to college, found out alcohol made her feel whole. After college, she found a way to capture that school feeling by moving to a ski town. Eventually, Laura’s drinking progressed to where an ex called her out for drinking tequila on a Tuesday. Instead of seeing this as a sign of problem drinking, it ...
May 23, 2023•43 min•Ep. 127
Send us a text Andrea Owen hit bottom in 2007. Her husband had an affair with their neighbor and got her pregnant. When they split, she entered a new relationship only to find out nine months later he’d lived about having cancer to cover for his drug problem. He cheated on Andrea and fleeced her out of thousands of dollars. Andrea had isolated herself from her friends, quit her job and was moving out her apartment to move in with him. Andrea knew life had to change and asked the universe for wha...
May 16, 2023•41 min•Ep. 126
Send us a text You ever hear a wise oldtimer talk about how the relapse happens before the first drink? For many, it's what happens in the mind well before that drink is taken. Steve and I talk about our behaviors that either lead us to drink, prevent us from stopping or lead to a relapse. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch , our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies...
May 09, 2023•35 min•Ep. 125
Send us a text My relationship with alcohol was to the only unhealthy relationship I had. I likely drink too much coffee. Fortunately, it does not ruin my life. I loved pain pills. I smoked for a short time. I used all those substances like how I used alcohol to change how I felt. Food is another thing that I handled “alcoholically.” I’ve struggled with my weight from childhood and Steve has too. There are some types of food that make my body react the way alcohol does. Sugar is definitely one o...
May 02, 2023•37 min•Ep. 124
Send us a text One of the biggest turn offs for people considering a 12 step group or even those already in, is the topic of God, religion and spirituality. But what exactly is spirituality and why does it go hand in hand with self knowledge of alcoholism? Both Matt and Steve have some challenges with the view of the religious higher power. This topic was brought up by a friend in the rooms, who came into recovery as an atheist and now finds himself agnostic with a view that his higher power is ...
Apr 25, 2023•31 min•Ep. 123
Send us a text What is the end goal of recovery? Is it to die sober? Our friend Scott L recently passed after a fight with lung cancer. Scott died sober with 5 years of recovery. It did not come easy for Scott but when he got it, he got it. Steve and I talk about what dying sober means, is it the end goal and how recovery folks feel when we see an obit that says, "They died sober." I know I want that to be in my obit. What do you think? Is passing with a sober life your goal? Or is it still One ...
Apr 18, 2023•34 min•Ep. 122
Send us a text We are so fortunate to have Ash Butterss, host of the podcast, Behind the Smile. Ash has been sober since February 2020 and has a family history of alcoholism. For Ash, recovering out loud is a core value. She doesn’t want those in recovery living in the shadows, she wants those who are considering putting down the bottle to see that not only is recovery possible, but that your life will be so much better than you could ever imagine. In this episode Ash talks about: How her father...
Apr 11, 2023•49 min•Ep. 121
Send us a text We talk about loss and emotions in this week's episode of the Sober Friends Podcast. Each week, my two girls go to a farm where they clean stables, wash and care for horses and then learn the different aspects of riding. Their favorite horse was Holden, a 29 year old horse was very gentle and the logo for the farm. My daughter Annelyse has significant anxiety and Holden made her feel safe. Holden had Equine Cushing's Disease and early stages of dementia. There is medicine for Cush...
Apr 03, 2023•38 min•Ep. 120
Send us a text It feels like we are weak when we ask for help but it's the opposite. When you ask someone else for help, it's a sign of strength. In sobriety, it's so important to have a network of people you can lean on. That phone you have to call out on? 10,000 points and 8 foot buttons. We talk through on this podcast about how asking for help is so important in sobriety and how when you ask for help, you are making someone else feel better. How do you feel when you ask for help? What does i...
Mar 28, 2023•32 min•Ep. 119
Send us a text (Sigh) I'm feeling some work stress. Things in the day job have changed dramtically. We've been undergoing pretty significant change since COVID hit. Reorgs, process changes, new product releases and so much more. Our company values the ability to embrace change and pivot and it's a strength of mine. There also comes a time when there is so much change to so much in such a short period of time that you reach capacity. That's where I am today. And it feels unfair. I'm a high perfor...
Mar 21, 2023•35 min•Ep. 118
Send us a text “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” This is one of the most important traditions guiding Alcoholics Anonymous. So important, it's the other “A” in “AA.” The idea of anonymity is that the member and fellowship is protected. There has been stigma for decades with alcoholism, that it's not a medical condition, but a moral failing. Anonymity gives the person looking for recovery the protection and c...
Mar 14, 2023•33 min•Ep. 117
Send us a text Those of us with alcohol use disorder can shift from one addiction to another. We are very obsessive. Gardening Eating Sex Work So many other things to ease our emotions. It becomes a problem when it takes you away from your family, impacts finances and health. Steven and Matt talk a bit of their experience with those addictions that pop up that replace the drink. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Frien...
Mar 07, 2023•34 min•Ep. 116
Send us a text I was not prepared for how my family would react to the work I had to do to stay sober. Specifically, going to meetings. Going to a lot of meetings. At one point, my wife asked me, "When do you stop going to those meetings?" How do I tell my wife I don't ever stop, just like I don't ever stop being an alcoholic. Steve and I talk about our challenges with getting sober and how it affected the family. It took about two years before my wife was really supportive of being out of the h...
Feb 28, 2023•34 min•Ep. 115
Send us a text Matt and Steve have done a lot of learning about the construction of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous from reaching "Writing the Big Book," by Bill Schaberg. In today's language, the chapter, "To Wives," is troublesome. In the context of 1938, it reflected the times. Men were alcoholics Alcoholics were white, Christian men Women supported the man in the home The chapter states it's "written," by the women of AA. In reality, Bill Wilson wrote it himself. In today's times, it ca...
Feb 21, 2023•33 min•Ep. 114
Send us a text At three months sober, Matt's wife asked, "So how long are you going to keep going to these meetings?" "Uh-Oh." There is no cure for alcoholism. There is only a daily reprieve. We need to find ways to continually treat our illness. For people like Steve and Matt, that's 12 step meetings. For you, it might be something else as no one has a monopoly on sobriety. So why do we keep going? In this podcast, we talk about the need to stay connected to the fellowship and others with the s...
Feb 14, 2023•32 min•Ep. 113
Send us a text Bill Schaberg has arguably written the definitive history of how the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous was written. Bill produced “Writing The Big Book,” and his wife calls it, “the other big book,” because it’s 650 pages, before the appendixes. Bill completed the book after 7 years of research from the source material. Bill is a rare book collector and seller and it all started with his purchase of Jim Burwell’s copy of the multilith copy of the original Big Book. In Part 2 of the...
Feb 07, 2023•39 min•Ep. 112
Send us a text Bill Schaberg has arguably written the definitive history of how the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous was written. Bill produced “Writing The Big Book,” and his wife calls it, “the other big book,” because it’s 650 pages, before the appendixes. Bill completed the book after 7 years of research from the source material. Bill is a rare book collector and seller and it all started with his purchase of Jim Burwell’s copy of the multilith copy of the original Big Book. In Part 1 of the...
Jan 31, 2023•49 min•Ep. 111
Send us a text "WHY DOES THAT PERSON ALWAYS DO THAT TO ME? DON'T THEY KNOW IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY?" I heard a wise old-timer at a meeting recently say, "I brought out the defects of character in others." I never thought of that! Maybe my rotten behavior brought out the worst in the other person, whose bad behavior now gave me a resentment. Steve and Matt talk about other people's behaviors, owning our own actions and making an amends to clean up our side of the street. We wish the normies had the ...
Jan 24, 2023•34 min•Ep. 110
Send us a text Ugh! You need to stop drinking! How do you handle going to meetings or whatever your sobriety method is and handle the responsibilities of being a parent and partner? This week, we got you covered! Matt and Steve both had to deal with this issue when they got sober. We tell our experiences and how to balance family and recovery. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch , our weekly newsletter ...
Jan 17, 2023•34 min•Ep. 109
Send us a text Joe Kelley had everything going for him. He was a high school football star. Joe’s family were all first responders - His father a firefighter an uncles in the police department. Eventually, Joe followed in their footsteps to join law enforcement. Joe described his job as a police officer as strenuous and as someone who had been physically fit all his life, loved it. Joe Kelley would have no idea that the pain pills prescribed after knee surgury would not only take down his law en...
Jan 10, 2023•53 min•Ep. 108
Send us a text Peter L is one of the many people in recovery to get sober during the pandemic and have is first experience with a 12 step group be over Zoom. Podcasts like Sober Friends and Recovered Cast helped enhance his sobriety, during a time when getting together in person was not happening. Peter L’s sobriety date is December 3, 2020. Peter was the kind of guy who thought he could drink responsibly but at the same time, wondered if he had a problem. Peter got drunk for the first time at t...
Jan 03, 2023•49 min•Ep. 107
Send us a text Joe and Charlie were actually three men who travelled the country providing Big Book Seminars. Joe McQ Charlie P Joe McC Joe and Charlie were big book enthusiasts who studied the book Alcoholics Anonymous. They were fascinated with how the book was constructed and went on to give seminars on the meaning behind the book. Though Joe, Charlie and Joe have all passed, their work lives on in tapes, CDs and digital media. At the beginning of each year, many alcoholics meet in homes and ...
Dec 27, 2022•35 min•Ep. 106
Send us a text Jean McCarthy is the host of the podcasts, The Bubble Hour and Tiny Bubbles. Jean is also the author of Take Good Care, The Ember Ever There and the Unpickled series of recovery books. Jean was terrified to walk into an AA meeting when she got sober. It was an epiphany for Jean to quit drinking when she was ahead, instead of waiting until she lost it all. She was active and visible in her community and was concerned about what people would think about her. She learned later when s...
Dec 20, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 105
Send us a text The podcast audience comes and goes over the course of a show. As we move past 100 episodes, you may not have looked at the back catalogue we have put together. This is a great opportunity to look back to the past at some of our favorite shows. My wife brought Tyler to my attention. She grew up with Tyler and knew his story. This show had an incredibly positive reaction when it originally dropped. There is a lot of spirituality in Tyler’s story and the role God has played in his l...
Dec 13, 2022•51 min
Send us a text Andrea from the Adult Child Podcast joins the show this week. Andrea is honest, vulnerable and in your face and this is a raw conversation about alcoholism and the trauma received of being an adult child of alcoholics. Matt and Andrea are both sober and both children of alcoholics. In this show, Andrea discusses: Their path to getting sober at 18 Getting to 7 years of sobriety and realizing, after a bad break up, that the trauma of her childhood was echoing in her present How the ...
Dec 06, 2022•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 104
Send us a text Our guest this week is Gregg Champion who just celebrated 28 years sober. Gregg has a fascinating story you will easily find a way to relate. Gregg believes he was an alcoholic at 4 years old, when his father died in a car accident. Alcoholism was in his family and he coped with fantasy, girls, and giving in to his anger. When he was a teen, alcohol and drugs came into the picture. Gregg was always looking for a short cut when he could and found one selling drugs. This led to a bu...
Nov 29, 2022•53 min•Ep. 103
Send us a text We are into our third year! To kick it off, we invited Pete B back to talk about the history of Narcotics Anonymous. If you know about 12 step groups, I bet you know a lot of Alcoholics Anonymous, but what do you know about NA? Well, we knew next to nothing. Pete B was involved with writing the original text of NA back in the early 1980s. Who better to talk about how NA started. Like many 12 step groups, the first NA groups used the AA Big Book and their steps to get clean. But it...
Nov 22, 2022•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 102
