A woman with the best intentions wants to secretly hire a sex worker for her depressed, newly divorced friend. Any downsides here? Speaking of divorce, Dan gives a long pep-talk to a man struggling with how to get over his. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Sara Glass, author of the fantastic memoir "Kissing Girls on Shabbat." Dr. Glass was raised in a hyper- religious Hasidic Jewish community. She later came out as queer and completely changed her life. Dan and Dr. Glass had a raw, heart-felt c...
Jul 23, 2024•52 min•Ep 925•Transcript available on Metacast A man's new boyfriend had an adult circumcision, and now can't come very easily. He wants to help his boyfriend come, but doesn't want to pressure him. How can he thread the needle and start gobbling? A straight man is in a brat/dom dynamic, where his girlfriend "misbehaves" and then gets "punished" by the caller. They all love it, but now she is also seeing a different man who leaves marks on her body. She showed the caller a photo of herself as a way to elicit his punishment. But he suddenly f...
Jul 16, 2024•52 min•Ep 924•Transcript available on Metacast It's the "Overthinking It" episode! "I'll give you $100 if you spit in my beer." This offer was made by a random gentleman in a sushi bar to an unsuspecting lady. She declined. Would you do it? Is anything wrong here? Overthinking it? Meanwhile, a man wonders if the dubious ethics he saw in a porno plot renders said porno too problematic to enjoy. Overthinking it! On the Magnum, we're delighted to welcome Andy Richter to the show. He's best known for his years as Conan O'Brien's sidekick, and no...
Jul 09, 2024•49 min•Ep 923•Transcript available on Metacast Man we're tired. So we went on vacation! No show this week, but we'll back at you on July 9.
Jul 02, 2024•55 sec•Transcript available on Metacast Her husband of ten years is interested in learning about non-monogamy. He started attending workshops about "divine femininity" and "dark masculinity." The workshop leader seems sketchy and cultish to the caller. How can she vet this potential grifter and help her husband develop a little reasonable skepticism? A woman and her husband have been in a poly relationship with another woman for 11 years. She is intertwined with the family and helps out with the kids. You know who also helps with the ...
Jun 25, 2024•50 min•Ep 922•Transcript available on Metacast A straight woman wants to explore her bitchy side. She feels like all her edge got sanded away, and now she wants to try out the dom role. How can she find a man who wants a selfish, in-charge lover? Meanwhile, a straight man is frustrated that his lady won't let him go down on her. Our guest this week is Lyz Lenz, author of the NYT best-selling "This American Ex-Wife." Raised conservative Christian, Lenz found herself trapped in a joyless marriage, doing all the work, and getting gaslit like cr...
Jun 18, 2024•50 min•Ep 921•Transcript available on Metacast Getting a haircut is boring! Unless. Unless your hairstylist strokes your neck, pulls your hair, talks dirty and asks if you want to fool around. A straight man was walking home at night when a drunk man hurled anti-gay insults at him. In a moment of improvised solidarity, the caller said he WAS gay. The drunk found some friends and chased the caller off. Now the caller wonders if what he did was wrong. His gay friend said it wasn't cool to pose as gay. What will Dan think? On the Magnum, Dan ch...
Jun 11, 2024•48 min•Ep 920•Transcript available on Metacast Dan takes on a couple of heavy calls this week- A woman learned that her ex-boyfriend of 8 years was convicted on child pornography charges. He will almost certainly go to prison. He was once her fianc. Rough stuff. Then, Dan helps a woman make the heart-breaking choice between a single or a double mastectomy. Our guest this week is the sharp, hilarious comedian Jared Goldstein. He and Dan talk about how gay men reject long-haired homos, how straight men don't get "headaches," and definitively a...
Jun 04, 2024•50 min•Ep 919•Transcript available on Metacast Yikes! Her boyfriend's pre-teen son has been stealing her underwear. This very naughty lad lives with them half the time. How can she get this boundary violation out of her head? 12 long years ago, he cheated on his wife. They got through it with therapy and endless processing. Whilewatching TV with their kids (age 10 and 13) the subject of infidelity came up on the show, and his wife appeared upset. She was angry that he didn't pause the show and tell his kids that he had cheated on their mom. ...
May 28, 2024•49 min•Ep 918•Transcript available on Metacast A lesbian has befriended a married lesbian couple. She thinks they're both hot, and in various light-hearted conversations, they said they were open to group sex. But were they serious? Should the caller proposition them? When a woman was 17, she connected with a 24 year-old man, and began a fraught relationship full of sex, drama and sneaking around. She eventually cut things off, convinced that the age difference made it exploitative. He still tries to contact her now and again. How bad was th...
May 21, 2024•53 min•Ep 917•Transcript available on Metacast For this Sex & Politics, Dan brings back Diana Adams, lawyer and legal advocate for queer and poly communities. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit providing free legal representation for low-income LGBTQIA+ families, asylum seekers, and trans communities in NY, and national legislative advocacy for LGBTQIA+, polyamorous, and non-nuclear families. Diana is co-founder of the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition. Their popular TED talk Why US Laws Must Expand Bey...
May 16, 2024•17 min•Ep 30•Transcript available on Metacast Her man used to enjoy chewing tobacco, and it messed up his teeth. He has quit at her behest, but now he really needs to see a dentist. She doesn't want to shame him for his nasty mouth, but she also doesn't want to kiss him. How can she gently guide him into a dentists chair? A trans man is having a hard time finding women to date him. He insists he's a catch, but the ladies aren't biting. Why? On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Peggy Orenstein, author of eight books including Boys & Sex and Girls & S...
May 14, 2024•51 min•Ep 916•Transcript available on Metacast When you throw a sweaty, sexy party, and most of the guests have left, except for your girlfriend and her ex, and this ex offers to suck your dick, saying his current girlfriend won't mind a bit, should you take his word for it? A woman has met a new guy and likes him a lot! And he likes her too! You know what else he likes? His sex doll. He spent $1000 on it. The caller is very squicked out and doesn't know if it's deal-breaker or not. On the Magnum, it's a love fest between Dan Savage and our ...
May 07, 2024•53 min•Ep 915•Transcript available on Metacast A woman's party fell apart when her good -looking friend flirted with all the men and then led them away to a club. Was this a competitive power move? What kind of friend is this? Expiration dates! You wouldn't drink old milk. Is it equally dangerous to use lube past its time? On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Jene Desmond-Harris from Slate's "Dear Prudence" column. They advise a woman whose boyfriend wants to see sex workers. (He likes 'em "young and firm.") And a jealous boyfriend can't handle his g...
Apr 30, 2024•52 min•Ep 914•Transcript available on Metacast A woman has been enjoying an insertable vibrator that can be controlled by her partner. Whee! But she worries that if she wears it out in public, it constitutes a consent violation for the unwitting baristas who don't know why her eyes are crossing all of a sudden. On both the Micro and the Magnum, our second "What Are You Doing" features MzKim Lee- a very successful financial dominatrix. Why does she do it? How does she do it? How much does she earn? (The answer to this last question, may shock...
Apr 23, 2024•51 min•Ep 913•Transcript available on Metacast For this very special April 20th episode of Sex & Politics, Dan speaks with Republican apostate and charming podcaster Tim Miller, about the importance of voting blue (for you know who) this coming November. A second Trump presidency would just be too harsh of a toke. This is the first third of the interview. To hear the "sex " part of "Sex & Politics" in which they discuss some trouble involving a "pristine dick," subscribe to the Magnum version of the Lovecast, at Savage.Love.
Apr 20, 2024•24 min•Ep 29•Transcript available on Metacast A woman moved into a new house and promptly slept with her roommate. It was great sex and the caller wants a repeat. He claims he wants more as well, but then never actually takes her up on it. One night she asked if he wanted to...you know...do it, and he chose to play video games for 14 hours instead. So. A veteran of the polyamorous lifestyle would like to push back on the idea that you can sleep with people and avoid catching feelings. It's just not a realistic rule, says this pragmatic lady...
Apr 16, 2024•52 min•Ep 912•Transcript available on Metacast A woman's boyfriend wants her to play with his ass. But she doesn't know where to begin. Fingers? Tongue? What should she do down there? A woman keeps getting harassed by men in cars jacking it and watching her creepily. What can she do in these unpleasant moments? On the Magnum Dan chats with journalist Ben Ryan about the effects of PrEP in gay sex culture. As DAN PREDICTED, with the rise of PrEP use, HIV infections plummeted, but other STIs are on the rise. Are condoms dead? Not so fast. Final...
Apr 09, 2024•50 min•Ep 911•Transcript available on Metacast A gay man keeps sleeping with non-monogamous, married men, who are ultimately emotionally unavailable. But the sex is great! Why isn't he attracted to single men, hmmmm? Parenting challenge ahoy! A couple with a blended family are getting along well, except for one thing. The mom's 15 year-old daughter loses her mind when she hears them having sex. She bangs on the wall, and makes retching noises when they kiss or otherwise show affection. How can they (respectfully) shut this behavior down? On ...
Apr 02, 2024•49 min•Ep 910•Transcript available on Metacast For this episode of Sex & Politics, Dan speaks with Rob Henderson, author of "Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class." Rob's heart-breaking memoir goes into his wrenching childhood, and also his concept of "luxury beliefs," - sanctimonious ideas that the upper classes advocate for, but usually don't follow themselves, and ultimately hurt the poor and working class. Henderson includes non-monogamy as a luxury belief, and as you can imagine, Dan ain't havin' it. This is a 20 m...
Mar 28, 2024•21 min•Ep 28•Transcript available on Metacast So, is he gay? The evidence: He likes sucking wieners, anal play, and he has a sex machine that he uses on his butt. Also, he is showing less and less interest in having sex with the caller, and when she asks him about it he responds "Is sex all you care about?" An anxious cougar is suspicious of the young men who hit on her. Why would they want to be with someone twice their age? She knows she should count her blessings, and her friends all roll their eyes at her discomfort. How can she get out...
Mar 26, 2024•50 min•Ep 909•Transcript available on Metacast You guys! We are in crisis! There are just not enough hot young women! DO. THE. MATH. A woman is dating a trans woman. Her girlfriend recently got bottom surgery, and wants to try being penetrated with an actual penis, as opposed to a toy. Should the caller allow for an open relationship to accommodate this? Strap in folks, we're unveiling a new extra spicy segment of the show called"What Are you Doing?" Dan reaches out to folks who are doing amazing things in the world of sex, and asks them to ...
Mar 19, 2024•53 min•Ep 908•Transcript available on Metacast "Ewww! Blood!" That's what her boyfriend says whenever she even mentions her menstrual cycle. Should she try to educate him as to why this is immature and offensive to a lady with lady parts? Dan has a conversation with a man whose wife is unilaterally opening their relationship. Can their marriage withstand his wife getting a tattoo from her new lover? On the Magnum, Dan talks to fellow term-coiner Lara Starr, who came up with the name "Sister Ex" to describe the powerful relationship that can ...
Mar 12, 2024•48 min•Ep 907•Transcript available on Metacast A 27 year-old divorced woman goes to bars and picks up both men and women. She prefers them to be at least 10 years older because (as everyone knows,) they are better in bed. How can she find people in this age range, and keep their attention? A young, gay hottie hasn't had sex in 2 years because he wants more of a connection than casual hook-ups. But when he does connect, he loses interest quickly. How can he get over his analysis paralysis? Our guest this week is Molly Roden Winter, author of ...
Mar 05, 2024•45 min•Ep 906•Transcript available on Metacast A woman's 60 year-old dad has taken in a much younger woman of dubious repute. She is a massage therapist, and has been cleaning her father's house. Her father claims that taking her in is just the Christian thing to do. The caller worries her father is being taken advantage of- she and her brother don't like it one little bit. Should she refuse to see her father under he kicks the girl out? A man has discovered his love for kink later in life. Now he's dating and scaring women away when he says...
Feb 27, 2024•56 min•Ep 905•Transcript available on Metacast Why is it always men that are into foot fetishes? And speaking of feet, a woman has a pair of fetish shoes that no longer fit. She wants to make sure they go to a loving home, but how? Our guest this week is Peter McGraw, author of "Solo: Building a Remarkable Life of your Own." In this antidote to Valentine's Day, Dan and Peter talk about how and why more people are choosing to be single these days. We should perhaps give up on the outdated idea that happiness must be bundled with monogamous lo...
Feb 20, 2024•54 min•Ep 904•Transcript available on Metacast A hearty Valentine's Day to all of you freaky, perverted, lovelorn wretches. We begin the show with a humdinger of a call from a man whose wedding night is shaping up to be very special indeed. A married woman shares a phone with her husband. She notices that the ads served on his Instagram feed are very different from what she sees. He sees AI generated, photo-shopped sex vixens. She's treated to arts & crafts blogs. Is Insta pushing sexual images based on his basic demographic? (Straight dude....
Feb 13, 2024•59 min•Ep 903•Transcript available on Metacast We are still shocked that Ezra Klein (of the NYT and the Ezra Klein Show) agreed to come on our smutty little podcast. They talked about Ezra's time as a monogamous straight man embedded in San Fransisco's polyamorous culture. They compared the current NYC hipster version of the poly scene vs San Fransisco's meld of tech bros and hippies. And they talk about how the nuclear family is failing as a functional support system. Some of this great convo is on the Micro, and the whole thing is on the M...
Feb 06, 2024•55 min•Ep 902•Transcript available on Metacast "Enough with the poly! " Or so says this gay man, who is sick of being disrespected by his boyfriend catting around, acting like a no-good cad and using polyamory as a shield. Meanwhile, can't a homo in the rural West have nice, no-strings-attached hook-ups anymore? All the men he meets want to get married or something. On the Magnum, Dan brings on comedian Dulc Sloan from The Daily Show to talk about the perils of dating menfolk. Apparently, it's dangerous out there. And, a woman's boyfriend us...
Jan 30, 2024•52 min•Ep 901•Transcript available on Metacast A man's wife had to quit drinking due to a medical condition. They used to get tipsy and have wild sex. Now that she can't drink the sex has become rote and inhibited. They plan to go on vacation together, but the caller feels that if they can't have their free-wheeling sex, he doesn't want go on vacation at all. Don't you want to hear Dan's conversation with an adult baby/diaper lover? Yes, yes you do. On the Magnum, a gay man is looking for the most penis-like sex toy he can find that doesn't ...
Jan 23, 2024•56 min•Ep 900•Transcript available on Metacast 
