A woman is seeing a guy who only grudgingly goes down south. Sex for them always begins with her giving him a BJ, but because they have a Dom/sub dynamic, he feels he doesn't owe her anything. Here's a fun word scramble game that astute Savage Lovecast listeners can play! Unscramble these letters to form the acronym that will give the caller clear direction on what to do: TMAFD A man is curious, confused, and bewildered about what lesbians mean when they say they have sex. On the Magnum, Dan's b...
Mar 11, 2025•46 min•Ep 958•Transcript available on Metacast Age gap relationships! Sometimes they are a-ok. Sometimes they are not. A woman is having an argument with her boyfriend about whether his previous relationship was dicey because of the 9-year age difference. She dated a younger person too, but the circumstances were different. Dan Savage (who knows from age gap relationships) weighs in. A man in a throuple with two ladies can't sleep because their bed gets too toasty at night. Somebody call 911! On the Magnum, we welcome back sex & culture writ...
Mar 04, 2025•56 min•Ep 957•Transcript available on Metacast A woman's 74 year-old father has started dating a 19 year-old woman, and no one in her family besides her is batting an eye. She is horrified and refuses to meet the lass or speak to her father until the relationship ends. Is she being too harsh? A British poly man has an American girlfriend who comes to visit now and again. She asked him to take her to a sex party, but there's a hitch. She screams to kingdom come during sex. The caller is worried that his more reserved British sex party compatr...
Feb 25, 2025•49 min•Ep 956•Transcript available on Metacast Pages and pages of escort ads. That's what she found on her boyfriend's phone when she was looking for concert tickets. He insisted he wasn't actually contacting anybody, but was using them for his spank bank. Should she believe him? Is this a problem? A man recently come out as bi, and has a boyfriend in an open relationship. He sees all the gay orgies that are available to him, but wants to get in on some straight sex party action. Where can he find them? How do they work? Hello? On the Magnum...
Feb 18, 2025•55 min•Ep 955•Transcript available on Metacast A married gay man is newly poly with his husband and boyfriend. Simple question: Who should he celebrate Valentine's Day with? A non-binary AFAB person frequents a sex club where women pay much less than men or couples. And there's a dress code...men must be naked, and women must wear lingerie. The caller wears the damn lingerie to snag the discount and to get access to men. But they don't want to be addressed as female in dirty talk or recognized as female in any way. Discuss. On the Magnum, Da...
Feb 11, 2025•52 min•Ep 954•Transcript available on Metacast A straight man was accidentally paired with a trans man on a hookup app. When the trans man found out his match was a straight dude, he tapped out. But that got the caller thinking...should he hunt for pre-op trans men in the hopes of connecting with people still had their female parts? Any problems here? On the Micro and Magnum it's a sneak peek of this week's Sex & Politics with political analyst Tim Miller. He and Dan took a call from a straight man who has recently discovered the kind of ple...
Feb 04, 2025•54 min•Ep 953•Transcript available on Metacast A straight man worries that his one-on-one OnlyFans interactions are a form of infidelity. A divorced man is out dating and learning about tantra. A couple of women he's seen were both mothers, and although he found them attractive and his dick got hard, he couldn't come with either of them. They both blamed themselves for having changed postpartum bodies. Who is the culprit- the ladies or his dick? On the Magnum, Dan chats with cultural historian Kelly Coyne about off-kilter domestic arrangemen...
Jan 28, 2025•51 min•Ep 952•Transcript available on Metacast A gay man is mourning the loss of his hair. He shaved it all off, but doesn't like the new look. Are there any other options? How can he learn to love the new bald version of himself? "Big poly mess in aisle 4!" She started seeing a married man who was new to poly. He has a kid, and mere months in, the caller formed a bond with the child. Then he went and fell in love with yet another woman. His wife is divorcing him, but the caller remains friendly with his wife. Can she continue to see the kid...
Jan 21, 2025•1 hr 1 min•Ep 951•Transcript available on Metacast A very happy Feast of The Ass to you all! We asked you to send us your carols and boy, did you ever deliver. Hear a smattering of our picks, and we unearthed an olde choral piece that you and your family will surely treasure. A man has been dating a woman for two months. It's going well, but her body type is too thin to turn him on. He tries to feed her extra food, but should he flat out ask her to gain a little weight? On the Magnum, everyone is talking about Babygirl- the new erotic thriller s...
Jan 14, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Ep 950•Transcript available on Metacast Everyone is feverishly preparing for The Feast of The Ass on January 14! Consequently, many of you have questions, such as "What is the proper Feast of the Ass greeting?" And "Shouldn't the official Feast of the Ass dessert be the Tunnel of Fudge?" As always, Dan has the answers. A woman's brother just got engaged...again. This is the third time, and he has been dating his current girlfriend for a scant 6 months. What's more, the fiancé has been pestering the caller to be best friends, texting h...
Jan 07, 2025•47 min•Ep 949•Transcript available on Metacast Happy New Year! Here's the interview we did with Esther Perel back in September. We hope you like it.
Jan 03, 2025•41 min•Transcript available on Metacast Here's a little friendship drama to start the New Year: A woman and her pal "Jill" are going on a skiing trip in Japan with a group of people. Two of the men approached Jill to tell her they each had crushes on the caller, and asked her to broker a connection. Jill wants nothing to do with this, and the caller is bewildered. Why is Jill so angry? And how should she proceed? A man has a 22 year-old nephew who he suspects is gay. The lad is immersed in conservative Christian culture, and if he is ...
Dec 31, 2024•50 min•Ep 948•Transcript available on Metacast Happy holidays micro listeners! We are releasing this interview with Ezra Klein from February of this year as a thank-you for listening. From Dan, Nancy and the Tech-Savvy At-Risk Youth™ - we wish you a sweet holiday season.
Dec 27, 2024•31 min•Transcript available on Metacast Dan Savage is bringing back a forgotten Catholic holiday. On January 14, let us all celebrate the Feast of the Ass. A woman's beloved twin sister isn't dating, isn't getting on the apps, isn't looking for a relationship. Should the caller keep trying to set her up with great guys from work? Or leave her be? A woman used to be a sex worker when she was younger. She has since built a new career, and loves her life. She got into BDSM, and when she told her new dom about her past, he lost his mind. ...
Dec 24, 2024•51 min•Ep 947•Transcript available on Metacast A gay man was dating a closeted cop for 4 years. Then he found out that the cop WASN'T closeted, and WASN'T single (he has a live-in boyfriend,) but IS a big fat liar. Now the caller wants closure. A straight man just got dumped by his girlfriend after 1 1/2 years. His crime? He followed some thirst trap accounts on Instagram. She felt "betrayed and repulsed." Now sad and bewildered, he'll get a rousing pep talk from Dan Savage. On the Magnum, a poly woman has been told by her girlfriend that sh...
Dec 17, 2024•56 min•Ep 946•Transcript available on Metacast A trans guy just can't break into gay male spaces. He feels ridiculed and rejected, and ends up sitting in a corner alone while the sweaty dance party goes on around him. He used to be confident before his transition. How can he get a little of that male swagger and bed a hot twink? A female used to date "bad boys"- the kind of guy who turned her on sexually but made terrible partners. Now she's with a sweet man who treats her well, but the heat isn't there. Can she train him to turn her on?Can ...
Dec 10, 2024•52 min•Ep 945•Transcript available on Metacast "That's so gay!" So said a 10 year-old boy and got himself punished by the teacher who overheard him. The boy's father is calling for advice on how to explain why saying "That's so gay" as a pejorative is hurtful. A man with a big ole wiener sees his long distance girlfriend once per month. When they see each other they go at it, with a frequency and intensity that will make many of you blush. The problem? It's causing her a lot of pain. Is there a way to make love, not lacerations? Speaking of ...
Dec 03, 2024•56 min•Ep 944•Transcript available on Metacast A straight man confesses to lurking on Discord and masturbating to the pretty female voices he hears there. Nobody knows he is doing this (except all of us now.) Must he stop? With a new hostile regime about to take power, it's more important than ever for queer and trans folks to get their papers in order. Our very favorite lawyer, Diana Adams from the Chosen Family Law Center, is on to talk about these issues, and to advise a married gay couple on how to find a surrogate mother in unconvention...
Nov 26, 2024•55 min•Ep 943•Transcript available on Metacast We open with a somewhat disturbing call from a woman whose white boyfriend visits "wack shacks" when he travels. He hires Asian sex workers to submit to race play and degradation. She approves of him indulging his various kinks outside of their relationship, but this? It's the classic conundrum: the caller has a big wiener and his boyfriend has a small one. A dildo is not quite a penis. What can they do? Our guest is the fiery, foul-mouthed, anti-cheating avenger Tracy Schorn a.k.a Chump Lady. T...
Nov 19, 2024•52 min•Ep 942•Transcript available on Metacast First off, we hear from a neglected third in a poorly executed threeway hook-up. He failed to advocate for himself, and the other two guys weren't asking if he was ok, sitting on the couch, looking at his phone. How could this have gone better? And how can he get over the waves of insecurity he feels when he connects with these same guys again? A woman in an open relationship with a nine year-old daughter wonders how to explain daddy's frequent absences. Our guest this week is the soothing, clev...
Nov 12, 2024•54 min•Ep 941•Transcript available on Metacast We're giving you a break from whatever stressful stuff is going on this week to bring you some of the more...interesting calls we've collected. A man's girlfriend wants to try saline injections on her breasts for a "24 hour boob job." The question is, can he safely do the injecting? A woman's cat is grieving the loss of her longtime companion, a small dog. Now the kinky feline is demanding unspeakable rough treatment and her "owner" is neither G, G, nor G and does NOT consent. Happy Soft Cock We...
Nov 05, 2024•54 min•Ep 940•Transcript available on Metacast A poly guy lives in a rural area with his fiancé. He is building his own house, and hires laborers to come live with him while they build. One of the laborers started hooking up with the caller’s girlfriend without consulting the caller or gaining his consent. Now what? This guy is living in his own damn house, having sex with his own damn lady??? True or False: Gay men who were bullied as kids often hook up with their former bullies. On the Magnum, the worlds collide when Dan Savage, notorious ...
Oct 29, 2024•53 min•Ep 939•Transcript available on Metacast A woman has been dating a man from Ghana for 4 months. She just learned that he has a wife and kid back home, that he married out of familial/cultural obligation. Should the caller hold out to see if he chooses her over his overseas family? A married woman has a one year-old kid. She and her husband are monogamous, but she's getting into performing burlesque at local bars and it's making her want to try...other things. How far will she go? How much will her husband allow? Our guest is Irish come...
Oct 22, 2024•57 min•Ep 938•Transcript available on Metacast A lesbian couple has been together for a couple years, and things are still hot between them. But they wonder if they should check out a sex club just to add a little spice. They are monogamous, and have no interest in contact with other women. Their friends say it's impossible to remain exclusive with each other at one of these spaces. Is that true? Would they be welcome? A man with "anxious attachment style" (hot!) has been seeing a woman for 6 weeks, and things are moving fast. She told him s...
Oct 15, 2024•52 min•Ep 937•Transcript available on Metacast An apology is required! But who is in the wrong here? An NB person got so, so sick with the covids. They had already made out with their boyfriend, so he was exposed. When they asked him to come over, deliver some food and offer bit of comfort, the boyfriend only agreed to drop off food outside the door. Should he have come inside and been more supportive? Or was it too much to ask to have him risk exposure? On a much heavier note, a woman's dad was discovered to have a three year-long affair. T...
Oct 08, 2024•47 min•Ep 936•Transcript available on Metacast A man was flirting with a woman online, but his girlfriend found out. She threw him out, and messaged all their friends and family about the incident. Police were involved. Should they get back together? Dan calls him up to get all the salacious details, and you get to listen. A man has a wonderful fiancé, and they have a child together. He loves her very, very much. The problem? He is one kinky motherfucker, and she is NOT interested in dominating him. On the Magnum, Dan chats with comedian Cal...
Oct 01, 2024•50 min•Ep 935•Transcript available on Metacast She slept with a lad who didn't wear a condom when he said he would, came inside her and wouldn't help pay for Plan B. The hitch? He's great in bed, and she is hard up. Should she sleep with him again, if he promises to be a good boy? A caller challenges Dan on his personal dislike of massages. "How can this possibly be?" asks the caller. Our guest this week, is the brilliant psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel. Dan and Esther talk about infidelity, how monogamous ...
Sep 24, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Ep 934•Transcript available on Metacast Oh no! He broke the flirting rules. He kissed a lady and lied about it. (He lies a lot apparently.) But now, it makes her sick to look at him. What now? A man and his boyfriend just bought a house together and they are setting up one of the rooms as a nursery...because they are both adult babies. What should they tell visitors if they ask what the locked room is for? On the Magnum, it's the triumphant return of "What Are You Doing?!" A cuckold relationship with a femme-dom twist, you say? Do tel...
Sep 17, 2024•52 min•Ep 933•Transcript available on Metacast A man and his girlfriend are well-matched. Except...she doesn't like to kiss and he NEEDS to kiss to get his erotic motor running. Whatever can they do? The good doctor Barak is back... but this time he's here to share his political giving strategy for this election, where your dollar is mightier than ever. And of course Dan ambushes him with a gnarly sex question. On the Magnum, what happens when a man is jealous of his...mother? Dan chats with whip smart writer Jill Filipovic about millennial/...
Sep 10, 2024•53 min•Ep 932•Transcript available on Metacast Git along little doggie! A gay man in academia has always been into cowboys. But he fights his brain, due to the inherently problematic nature of this fetish. Can (or should) he scrub these fantasies from his mind? A woman in Berlin would like to go to Folsom Europe. But would she be welcome? Dan chats with kink educator AJ Berlin about gay male sex party spaces, and who is (and isn't) welcome. On the Magnum, Dan chats with a true unicorn- a monogamous gay man. Don Martin is an author, podcaster...
Sep 03, 2024•58 min•Ep 931•Transcript available on Metacast 
