Oh no! He broke the flirting rules. He kissed a lady and lied about it. (He lies a lot apparently.) But now, it makes her sick to look at him. What now? A man and his boyfriend just bought a house together and they are setting up one of the rooms as a nursery...because they are both adult babies. What should they tell visitors if they ask what the locked room is for? On the Magnum, it's the triumphant return of "What Are You Doing?!" A cuckold relationship with a femme-dom twist, you say? Do tel...
Sep 17, 2024•52 min•Ep. 933
A man and his girlfriend are well-matched. Except...she doesn't like to kiss and he NEEDS to kiss to get his erotic motor running. Whatever can they do? The good doctor Barak is back... but this time he's here to share his political giving strategy for this election, where your dollar is mightier than ever. And of course Dan ambushes him with a gnarly sex question. On the Magnum, what happens when a man is jealous of his...mother? Dan chats with whip smart writer Jill Filipovic about millennial/...
Sep 10, 2024•53 min•Ep. 932
Git along little doggie! A gay man in academia has always been into cowboys. But he fights his brain, due to the inherently problematic nature of this fetish. Can (or should) he scrub these fantasies from his mind? A woman in Berlin would like to go to Folsom Europe. But would she be welcome? Dan chats with kink educator AJ Berlin about gay male sex party spaces, and who is (and isn't) welcome. On the Magnum, Dan chats with a true unicorn- a monogamous gay man. Don Martin is an author, podcaster...
Sep 03, 2024•58 min•Ep. 931
Workplace intrigue ahoy! A gay trans man who passes completely, is out to some of his co-workers but not all. Over drinks, one of his bosses told him he was bi, but not attracted to male genitals. So was this his way of acknowledging that the caller is trans, and flirting with him? Or was it cluelessly his way of saying he *wasn't* interested? Confusing! What should the caller do? A straight man loved giving his previous girlfriend multiple orgasms. But now that he's single and knows how good it...
Aug 27, 2024•52 min•Ep. 930
A woman is starting up a new relationship. Her previous boyfriend was a dom who introduced her to kink. She loved it but found it all too contrived. How can she take the parts of Dom/sub dynamics she likes and leave the scripted parts behind? It used to take her soooooo long to come. But then she discovered suction toys, and blam! Her husband learned how to get her off orally, but then they divorced. Now she's back to square one and worries it will take another 6 years to train new lovers to get...
Aug 20, 2024•51 min•Ep. 929
A straight man was horrified to discover that he wasn't attracted to his hook-up when she took her clothes off. She extracted a confession from him, and he was honest about his sudden repulsion. Was this the right thing to do? A woman would like to help her 70 year-old mother choose and navigate dating apps. Dan calls up Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex to give the run-down. On the Magnum, Dan chats with our new favorite dom- "The Funny Dom," a 24/7 Daddy...
Aug 13, 2024•51 min•Ep. 928
We start the show with a simple question. Should she sleep with the gardener? Her marriage has become sexless, and though her husband swears he would be into a three-way, she wants to audition the hot gardener first. Some questions require a medical opinion. Some questions are so gnarly that only the most intrepid medical experts will suffice. There is only one man who can fill this role. And that man is Doc Barak. On the Magnum, Dan brings on your next favorite guest, Jeff Guenther a.k.a "Thera...
Aug 06, 2024•53 min•Ep. 927
Hear the modern tale of the single mom, who is so committed to raising a "theybie" that she won't let her best friend babysit, lest she take a peek down below while changing diapers. A woman is worried about her brother. He has been sober for a couple years after a traumatic childhood. Now he is dating a woman who just broke up with his pal, who still drinks. They are keeping their relationship under wraps. Will the secrecy and sordid nature of it all suck him back into using? On the Magnum, do ...
Jul 30, 2024•52 min•Ep. 926
A woman with the best intentions wants to secretly hire a sex worker for her depressed, newly divorced friend. Any downsides here? Speaking of divorce, Dan gives a long pep-talk to a man struggling with how to get over his. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Sara Glass, author of the fantastic memoir "Kissing Girls on Shabbat." Dr. Glass was raised in a hyper- religious Hasidic Jewish community. She later came out as queer and completely changed her life. Dan and Dr. Glass had a raw, heart-felt c...
Jul 23, 2024•52 min•Ep. 925
A man's new boyfriend had an adult circumcision, and now can't come very easily. He wants to help his boyfriend come, but doesn't want to pressure him. How can he thread the needle and start gobbling? A straight man is in a brat/dom dynamic, where his girlfriend "misbehaves" and then gets "punished" by the caller. They all love it, but now she is also seeing a different man who leaves marks on her body. She showed the caller a photo of herself as a way to elicit his punishment. But he suddenly f...
Jul 16, 2024•52 min•Ep. 924
It's the "Overthinking It" episode! "I'll give you $100 if you spit in my beer." This offer was made by a random gentleman in a sushi bar to an unsuspecting lady. She declined. Would you do it? Is anything wrong here? Overthinking it? Meanwhile, a man wonders if the dubious ethics he saw in a porno plot renders said porno too problematic to enjoy. Overthinking it! On the Magnum, we're delighted to welcome Andy Richter to the show. He's best known for his years as Conan O'Brien's sidekick, and no...
Jul 09, 2024•49 min•Ep. 923
Man we're tired. So we went on vacation! No show this week, but we'll back at you on July 9.
Jul 02, 2024•55 sec
Her husband of ten years is interested in learning about non-monogamy. He started attending workshops about "divine femininity" and "dark masculinity." The workshop leader seems sketchy and cultish to the caller. How can she vet this potential grifter and help her husband develop a little reasonable skepticism? A woman and her husband have been in a poly relationship with another woman for 11 years. She is intertwined with the family and helps out with the kids. You know who also helps with the ...
Jun 25, 2024•50 min•Ep. 922
A straight woman wants to explore her bitchy side. She feels like all her edge got sanded away, and now she wants to try out the dom role. How can she find a man who wants a selfish, in-charge lover? Meanwhile, a straight man is frustrated that his lady won't let him go down on her. Our guest this week is Lyz Lenz, author of the NYT best-selling "This American Ex-Wife." Raised conservative Christian, Lenz found herself trapped in a joyless marriage, doing all the work, and getting gaslit like cr...
Jun 18, 2024•50 min•Ep. 921
Getting a haircut is boring! Unless. Unless your hairstylist strokes your neck, pulls your hair, talks dirty and asks if you want to fool around. A straight man was walking home at night when a drunk man hurled anti-gay insults at him. In a moment of improvised solidarity, the caller said he WAS gay. The drunk found some friends and chased the caller off. Now the caller wonders if what he did was wrong. His gay friend said it wasn't cool to pose as gay. What will Dan think? On the Magnum, Dan ch...
Jun 11, 2024•48 min•Ep. 920
Dan takes on a couple of heavy calls this week- A woman learned that her ex-boyfriend of 8 years was convicted on child pornography charges. He will almost certainly go to prison. He was once her fiancé. Rough stuff. Then, Dan helps a woman make the heart-breaking choice between a single or a double mastectomy. Our guest this week is the sharp, hilarious comedian Jared Goldstein. He and Dan talk about how gay men reject long-haired homos, how straight men don't get "headaches," and definitively ...
Jun 04, 2024•50 min•Ep. 919
Yikes! Her boyfriend's pre-teen son has been stealing her underwear. This very naughty lad lives with them half the time. How can she get this boundary violation out of her head? 12 long years ago, he cheated on his wife. They got through it with therapy and endless processing. While watching TV with their kids (age 10 and 13) the subject of infidelity came up on the show, and his wife appeared upset. She was angry that he didn't pause the show and tell his kids that he had cheated on their mom....
May 28, 2024•49 min•Ep. 918
A lesbian has befriended a married lesbian couple. She thinks they're both hot, and in various light-hearted conversations, they said they were open to group sex. But were they serious? Should the caller proposition them? When a woman was 17, she connected with a 24 year-old man, and began a fraught relationship full of sex, drama and sneaking around. She eventually cut things off, convinced that the age difference made it exploitative. He still tries to contact her now and again. How bad was th...
May 21, 2024•53 min•Ep. 917
For this Sex & Politics, Dan brings back Diana Adams, lawyer and legal advocate for queer and poly communities. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit providing free legal representation for low-income LGBTQIA+ families, asylum seekers, and trans communities in NY, and national legislative advocacy for LGBTQIA+, polyamorous, and non-nuclear families. Diana is co-founder of the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition. Their popular TED talk ‘Why US Laws Must Expand Be...
May 16, 2024•17 min•Ep. 30
Her man used to enjoy chewing tobacco, and it messed up his teeth. He has quit at her behest, but now he really needs to see a dentist. She doesn't want to shame him for his nasty mouth, but she also doesn't want to kiss him. How can she gently guide him into a dentists chair? A trans man is having a hard time finding women to date him. He insists he's a catch, but the ladies aren't biting. Why? On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Peggy Orenstein, author of eight books including Boys & Sex and Girls & S...
May 14, 2024•51 min•Ep. 916
When you throw a sweaty, sexy party, and most of the guests have left, except for your girlfriend and her ex, and this ex offers to suck your dick, saying his current girlfriend won't mind a bit, should you take his word for it? A woman has met a new guy and likes him a lot! And he likes her too! You know what else he likes? His sex doll. He spent $1000 on it. The caller is very squicked out and doesn't know if it's deal-breaker or not. On the Magnum, it's a love fest between Dan Savage and our ...
May 07, 2024•53 min•Ep. 915
