You're listening to the micro version of The Savage Lovecast at Savage.loaf. Whoever you are, someone doesn't want you at Pride. Whatever you're into, whoever you came with, however you fuck, someone doesn't want you at Pride. Some people don't want Kingsters at Pride. Vanilla is simulationists and the loud sexiverse minority among Gen Z. At least I hope they're the minority among Gen Z. They don't want King at Pride. Some people, an equally loud group of people,
don't think people who don't think Kingsters belong at Pride belong at Pride. Some people don't want by-girls with straight boyfriends at Pride. Some queer people who were terrorized in churches when they were kids don't want gay Christian groups marching at Pride. Some radical queers don't want employee affinity groups from big corporations marching at Pride. Some corporate types don't want to see radical queers at Pride. Some people don't want poly-straight people at
Pride. Some people don't think lesbian cops or any cops at all, marching or policing belong at Pride. I've been listening to people complain about gay boys and speedos dancing on flat bed trucks at Pride since I went to my first Pride parade 40 years ago. The first Pride these people who say that the boys and speedos dancing on flat bed trucks don't belong at Pride. The first Pride was not a party. The first Pride was a riot. Yeah, it was. But the people who rioted at
Stonewall weren't rioting for the right to riot. They rioted because the cops raided a gay bar. The cops came to stop the dancing and shut the party down. So the fact that we can now party, that we can dance and in public in speedos on a flat bed truck blasting terrible dance music going down Fifth Avenue. That's proof the riot, the original one, worked. You know, I sometimes think about the gay boys and speedos. I saw dancing on flat bed trucks at my first Pride parade 40
years ago. And how those guys, the ones that lived are caching Social Security checks now because they were lucky enough to get old. But somehow the complaints about gay boys dancing on flat bed trucks at Pride somehow those never got old because I am still hearing them 40 fucking years later.
The real irony about all this complaining about who is and isn't wanted at Pride and all the complaining about the complaining about who is and isn't wanted at Pride is that some people, most people didn't want anyone at anything like Pride before the first Pride parade ever happened. The whole point of queer people marching down the street in 1970 to commemorate the Stonewall riots was to tell people who didn't want us to exist that we were done hiding that we weren't going
to keep it behind closed doors anymore. We weren't going to let people, some people, the overwhelming majority of people at the time tell us where we could be seen and where we couldn't and who we could love and who we couldn't and how we could fuck and who we could fuck. Showing up at Pride way back when was an act of defiance and yes showing up in a speedo and
dancing on a truck counted. So when you think about it and I've been thinking about it, when you think about it all those queer people and allies who take to social media in April and May to say this group or that group isn't wanted at Pride, kinky people aren't wanted, gay Christians aren't wanted, by girls with straight boyfriends aren't wanted, lesbian, car ups aren't wanted,
they're wrong and they're assholes of course. When you think about it from the right angle, when you queer it, when you turn it and look at it from a different point of view, these people, this small, vocal minority of queer people, they're doing the rest of us that they
don't want at Pride a favor because someone who tells someone else that they're not wanted at Pride is providing that person they just told isn't wanted at Pride with an opportunity to be defiant and do what the people who showed up at that first Pride parade did ignore the haters who said
we weren't wanted and marched down the street anyway. Yeah, yeah, I get it. It sucks that the people saying you're not wanted at Pride that so many of them these days are other queer people and it's ironic that the queer people who want to control who is and isn't allowed at Pride, the queer people who want to police pride are invariably the same people who don't want cops at Pride. Turns out they
do want cops at Pride, they just want to be the cops at Pride. And like complaints about gay boys and speedos dancing on flatbed trucks, the existence of queer people who don't think the wrong kind of queer people should be marching down the street or any queer people should be marching down the street,
nothing new when I first came out. The game and I met could be divided into two groups, the guys who marched and the guys who told their straight friends if they were out to them that sure they were gay but they weren't the kind of radical gay who marched down the street. The message then, the message now, fuck them. Fuck the straight haters who don't want you to exist, they're still out there and fuck the queer haters who tell other queers they're not wanted at Pride.
The proper response to that kind of queer, but you're not wanted queers, isn't to stay home or get on social media and complain about how you're the most depressed, we should respond to them. The same way we respond to the fundamentalist Christian counter protesters at Pride every year with their gays, burn, and hell signs by showing up and laughing at them. That is always the best revenge.
All right, it's June, we all know what that means. Pride month, of course, but also, more importantly, more famously, national pollinators month when we celebrate bees by planting the flowers that they need to survive. Lord knows, we can relate. Most of the guys, I know it pride are out there right now, trying to get their asses pollinated. You can celebrate
Pride or national pollinators month by getting a free month of Magnam Savage Lovecast. Just go to savage.love and click subscribe and plug Happy June all one word lowercase in when you go to check out and you will get the more guests, more calls, no ads version of the Savage Lovecast along with a ton of other perks for our Magnam subs. Speaking of the Magnam, this week on the Magnam only Jason wrote her former senior editor of the onion author of grief strike, a terrific memoir which managed
to make grief. Lerius Jason is back on the show. He recently launched an advice column on substack called bad advice and he is here. He is here for a second opinion segment to try his hand at giving some of his signature bad advice to my callers. One more thing before I get to the show, this Thursday noon Pacific time Savage Love Live. Savage Love Live is a zoom hangout for our Savage Lovecast Magnam subs where I answer questions live and chat with my Magnam subs about whatever
my Magnam subs want to talk with me about. If you are a Magnam sub, you will get the zoom link to the show this Thursday morning in your email. Record your question for the show now and send it to me at q at savage.love or go to savage.love slash ask Dan and get your question in now for Thursday's Savage Love Live. All right, onto your questions and the rest of the show. This episode is brought to you by my favorite mattress Helix sleep. Right now Helix is offering 20%
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first purchase of a website or domain. Today's episode is brought to you by shameless care, offering STI prevention medication online for your supply of doxy pet for just $99.00 head over to www.shamelesscare.com slash savage. That's www.shamelesscare.com slash savage. Hey Dan, this is a straight male living in Munich with my wife and partner. So the top line question is should my wife go hook up with her hairdresser to give you some background. Basically, if you went in for a
regular haircut and then shampoo and neck massage or head massage. And apparently it was the most kind of erotic and arousing experience she's had in the long time. You know, he gave her normal head massage, but then I guess could tell she was into it and sort of transitioned into maybe touching her face or her lips. They actually didn't hook up. They didn't, you know, he didn't really
touch anything below the shoulders. But, you know, throughout the entire hair cutting process, would occasionally, you know, grip her hair in such a way as like as pulling it or sometimes or lightly squeeze her neck and they had a kind of a sexy banter throughout the whole process where, you know, he they really got to, you know, talk about sexual things, personal things, whatever. And she, you know, left the experience just feeling, you know, awakened,
thrilled, excited, nervous. She saw a submissive side of herself because she described this guy as quite dominant, but at the same time, never crossed any boundaries, never made her feel uncomfortable,
never did anything that she, you know, she thought was not okay. You know, he did ask if she, you know, at the end of the haircut if she wanted to stay in full around a bit and she declined and she talked about her husband, you know, I see ourselves as having a kind of a long and fulfilling life and I want us to try new things, be expert, you know, experiment and new things, just see what
makes us happy because I want us to have a dynamic life, not like a stale one. So I'm kind of inclined to say, hey, like, talk to him about what you like, what you didn't like, set your boundaries, you know, we'll talk about what we feel like is our boundaries, kind of let her see him again and see if she can explore the exciting feelings she felt. But on the flip side and the reason why I'm asking is we've also encountered what is very common with long-term relationships. We've been
together for five years is that, you know, her, she's been struggling to find sexual desire. So probably have sex maybe less than once a month and that's been frustrating for me and then it's also filled her with a lot of guilt as well knowing that like I'm occasionally a bit frustrated and sometimes if we are, for example, have a hot moment but that's not yet steamy, the guilt feelings of like, oh, I'm not sure if I'm ready for sex right now will kind of block the having of sex
at your advice to be great. I have a prediction. You say you and your wife are fucking around once a month, sometimes less than once a month. It may alarm you to know that that means the technical definition that I've seen floating around out there for a sexless relationship. Some definitions of sexist relationships define them as any couple in a long-term relationship who
has sex once a month or less than once a month. It'll surprise a lot of long-term married couples who are having sex once a month and feel like they're having a lot more sex in their married friends and relationships of similar lengths who are having a lot less sex than they are that they are in what some marital counselors would consider sexless relationships. Anyway, setting all that aside, I have a prediction if your wife goes and fucks this hairdresser, YouTube will suddenly be having
a lot more sex in the wake of that experience. In the wake of your wife having this sexual adventure, I feel like sometimes couples get it backwards. Their relationship is an on track sexually, they're not really sparking, they're bored, and they're fucking once a month or less, and they want to change that and maybe they'd be open to opening the relationship. But first things, first they have to reconnect sexually with each other before they feel comfortable risking opening
the relationship to any form of outside sexual contact. But when you talk to people who've opened their relationships, it's kind of a cliche that in the wake of opening the relationship, having a three way, going to a swingers event, they find themselves having a lot more sex with each other in anticipation of the sexual adventures that they're going to have or again in the wake of them. You and your wife aren't having a lot of sex, not because you don't experience desire, not because
you don't want them, but because she doesn't want them. And one of the things we know now about female sexuality is that women's desire for sex and a long-term relationship, women wanting to fuck their husbands, it falls off faster than husbands than men in long-term relationships wanting to fuck their female partners, which kind of goes against the grain of the assumptions we make about male and female sexuality. Men always kicking out more sperm, want to spread that seat around.
Men are the ones who are likely to cheat, and that was true until very recently, whereas women are the nurturers and the garters of the home fires that were naturally monogamous, content in monogamous relationships, feel more sexual when they feel safe, and it's just not fucking true, women get bored. And when women are bored, they are less interested in sex. And a long comes this hairdresser who cranks your wife up, you don't mention it, but I'm wondering if you guys had
sex after she told you all about this experience? And suddenly, suddenly sex is desirable again. Suddenly she sees herself as a sexual person again. And if you allow her that, you may wind up
benefiting enormously from the freedom you've given her. You know, one of the problems in a monogamous, and I'm not the enemy of monogamy, I'm not against monogamous relationships, but sometimes I think one of the things that can de-den, erotically, a monogamous relationship is that you look at your spouse and you think, errr, there's the reason I can't, rather than
there's the reason I can. And a little outside attention, a little affirmation of your desirability, whether your relationship allows for that to happen, for that to be acted on or not, you can put a person back in touch with their sexuality in a way that your husband wanting to fuck you again for the millionth time just can't. Obviously, you're tempted to give your wife permission to go back to this guy, to talk to him, to set boundaries, to have a negotiated experience.
I would, if your wife had called me, tell your wife, you know, hairdressers like EJs and bartenders. This is a sexual adventure. This isn't somebody you can replace an intimate partner. This isn't long-term relationship material. This is sexual adventure material. And please don't, you know, catch the NRE, get into that limberance stage and want to run off with this guy because, sorry, you're not the only client that he has pulled these moves on.
And if she goes in with that sort of mindset, she's going to have a sexual adventure with this guy who is a slut and she gets to be a slut but then come home to the man who loves her. I bet she will look at you when she gets home from this and look at you and see not the reason she can't but the reason she can have this kind of sexual adventure and it'll revive your connection with each of.
That is my prediction. Doesn't happen in all cases but it happens so frequently that two people in a nearly sexist relationship open it up and then rather than all their sexual desire pouring outward, they're looking at each other with new eyes and when they get home from a sexual adventure, they have a sexual adventure together, there's this desire to reclaim each other and
come together literally and figuratively again as a couple. And so yeah, I am 100% into this. I want your wife to go fuck that hairdresser with your permission, with your consent, after outlining her boundaries and her limits. And then I want you to call me back and tell me how it went. Savage Lovecast is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for
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you to the next level. Head on over to Squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com slash savage and use the offer code savage to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That Squarespace.com slash savage and use the offer code savage. Hello Dan, 34-year-old cis-hat guy here on the western side of an East Coast state.
Out to three nights ago now, I was out taking a stroll, you know, smoking a joint, enjoying the night air and I noticed there was a gentleman probably 10 or 15 feet ahead of me walking in the same direction on the same sidewalk down the same dark street. And he was probably about my age at all the indications of poverty such as myself and he seemed like he had been drinking quite a bit. And at one point he kept glancing back at me eventually he turned
around and said, why are you following me? Are you a fucking faggot? And this aggravated me so much. Not only the juvenile nature of it, but just like it's 2024 dude. So in a moment of aggravation and I was stoned, I said, yes, I am gay and I am walking in the same direction. Fuck you. At which point he became irate. He turned around and wild eye, discreined that I should be shot in the fucking head. And then in a dead sprint took off in the
other direction. I'm very confused at this moment. He runs to the end of the block and into a taco place where he then re-emerges with several other drunken bumpkins who are now screaming slurs at me and threatening me and walking in my direction. I have never experienced this before. It was fucking terrifying. So I didn't manage to escape the situation unscathed, but I was thinking about the next day and I was like, fuck man, that was a hell of an experience that I otherwise would not
have had. That was weird. So I decided to take it to a queer friend of mine. But the situation is as much as I love this person, they tend to be one of those that does not want to talk about capitalism, but seems to think that everyone following everyone's signifiers and qualifiers is the path to freedom. So while I love this person very much, I was told that what I did was absolutely wrong and I've only created more animosity in the world by pretending to be queer,
which is also wrong. I'm not saying I disagree or agree. I think that the situation that I experienced was a valuable one, education wise, but I wouldn't recommend it and it shouldn't be necessary. Did I do the wrong thing? The first thing your call is a really great example of something that illustrates is that homophobia, the kind of violent homophobia that might prompt someone to gay bash, not even being beat, another can move into death, isn't just a threat or a
danger to gay people because the gay jar of fag basures isn't always 100% accurate. There are a lot of people out there who are straight who have been attacked because they were perceived to be gay by some drunken asshole. All right, look, whatever you said in that moment, it was all going to play out most likely exactly as it did when some drunk homophob looks at you and says, are you a fucking faggot and you say no, they never say, oh, okay, sorry, it escalates from there.
They're convinced you're a faggot and you're denial of being a faggot for that kind of drunk and homophob is a confirmation confirms that you are indeed a faggot because of course, a faggot who was afraid at that moment would deny being a faggot. What a faggot you think for you to do to deny being a faggot? He would have continued to commit you in that moment and threaten you.
And so I'm sorry this happened. I've been there. I have been in your shoes. I've been in your shoes where somebody called me a faggot and I said, yes, the fuck I am and it escalated from there and it was really scary. I've been in a situation where somebody asked me if I was a faggot and I said, no, in my defense, I was 15 years old and they didn't believe my denial. So yeah, you didn't do
anything wrong in that moment. In that moment, you actually kind of did us a solid. This was really, here's one of those 67 year old pop culture references that endears me to the kids and I am Spartacus kind of moment. Somebody said, where's Spartacus? Who's Spartacus? And you said, I'm Spartacus that your queer friend couldn't see that. That your queer friend didn't say to you, oh my God, I'm glad you're safe. Can you see what we go through? Please tell your other straight friends
and thank you. Thank you for what you did in that moment. Thank you for not denying it as if there's something wrong with it and putting yourself in perhaps a little bit more danger by saying gas is done. No, but thank you. Thank you for taking our side and then what the fuck is wrong with your queer friend? Oh, how dare you at that moment appropriate a queer identity that you
have no right. Oh my God, what fucking horseshit is that? I wished I lived in a world where every time somebody turned around and said, are you a faggot, there was a long line of people ready to I am Spartacus that shit. Straight people and queer people with other flavors and stripes and perhaps queer people who in a moment when their friend you in this case is still reeling from the fear probably still trying to your body still trying to filter out the stress hormones and adrenaline
that would pumped into you at that moment. That he had to make it all about him and something you did wrong as opposed to the wrong that was done to you because this asshole looked at you and thought he was seeing your friend or someone like your friend a queer person. Ag, Ag. I'm sure your queer friend has many redeeming qualities. I'm sure he's your friend or very your friend for a good reason, but in that moment that he pivoted to taking a fence
instead of offering support and expressing his gratitude. Yeah, I'm sure he's got other redeeming qualities, but how he reacted to what you were put through that night. Not one of them. Not one of them. So can you call back sometime? Tell me what you like about your queer friend because right now I have a really terrible impression of your queer friend, but a really good impression of you. And I'm going to say what he didn't say and should have said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that happened.
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depending on the model. And again, Helix offers a 100 night trial to try out your new Helix mattress and a 10 to 15 year warranty. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixleap.com slash savage. That's helixleap.com slash savage with helix. Better sleep starts now. Hi Dan, a long time listener from the UK here. So I would like advice about something that came up in work. I work for an embodiment retreat organization. And
there's one main facilitator who does most of the retreats. And recently I bought it up because I felt uncomfortable with the fact that he has again and again had relationships with the participants from the retreats that he's teaching on. It feels weird to me that it happens again and again. And I feel like he's not really aware of his power position. The content that he's teaching is like it's going quite into interpersonal dynamics, vulnerabilities, fear. And so I feel like
there's a certain kind of therapeutic relationship between him and the participants. And yeah, more than once it's happened that he's started having a sexual or romantic relationship. I talked with him about it in a team meeting. He was open to like take it further and talk about it more and he seemed to want to understand why this might be weird or wrong. And now he's asked me to help him
develop guidelines about it because he also trains other facilitators. And so the idea is that our organization has some general guidelines about how a facilitator should have relationships or not. I mean when we talked about it in our meeting he seemed to be going for the option of like you know maybe after the retreats finished if you see them somewhere around in daily life and they seem
interested then it's okay to start dating them. To me it feels weird like if I was a facilitator in a group setting I just wouldn't start a relationship with somebody who was there as a participant but I get that it's a really great area just wondering if you have any advice on this like are there guidelines? Obviously we're in the UK and Europe so maybe it's different in the US
but are there any yeah organizations that give guidelines on this? I had a look online I couldn't really see anything but I was they feel like this is an area that's really right for power abuse for yeah crossing boundaries for sexual abuse dynamics. One of the pieces of advice I'm constantly giving people who might want to get laid is to go places do things meet people leave the fucking house go do something and something a person might do because they want to meet someone they might want
to fuck is go to an embodiment yoga I think this is yoga you're talking about retreat for the weekend with a lot of woo woo and talk about feelings I could see how that would appeal to people who want to grow spiritually want to be able to bend themselves into new and different kinds of
shapes but also might appeal to some people who want to fucking get laid and maybe some of those people want to fuck the instructor that doesn't mean the instructor should fuck those people during the retreat you say your concern here is that this is a kind of like a therapeutic relationship yeah
kind of but not really not actually a therapeutic relationship it would be creepy I think in the extreme if an instructor at one of these things was looking around the room trying to figure out who's going to park his dick in that weekend and selecting from the people who are looking up to him
maybe for some embodiment guidance over that weekend but if he runs into that person six months later or a year later yeah I don't I don't actually think that somebody has to be declared out of bounds or radioactive forever and ever and ever once your professional working relationship is over
once this whatever it is whether it's a graduate program or you know boss employee relationship or the leader of your embodiment yoga retreat for the weekend once that relationship ends everybody's a consenting adult as for guidelines you know my Google is as good as your Googles if you couldn't
find guidelines online for this particular kind of relationship I don't think I'm going to be able to find those guidelines easily either but if you want to write them because he wants some help understanding and you know what I don't know if he's actually being genuine there I think that's
a little disingenuous please help me understand this thing that my dick is not going to want to understand which is not to fuck these people that I've been fucking that I've been meeting in this place the guidelines that you want are really I don't think you need to google hard work hard talk much
don't fuck these people on this weekend sorry after that weekend he runs into somebody in yoga circles or just moving through the world that happened to come to one of his weekends and was kind of into him and he's kind of into that person you can't jump out of the broom closet
and call foul they're consenting adults people are grown-ups people get to be grown-ups and people get to fuck the people that they want to fuck when they're grown-ups even if they meet them occasionally under circumstances where there may be a little bit of a power differential at play
now all that said someone who hangs out a shingle to do a kind of body work or embodiment work or that involves talking about feelings and people revealing things and being vulnerable who repeatedly praise on the people who might show up to his event or his embodiment retreat or
his yoga retreat or his acting class or whatever it is is going to get a reputation right and if the people that he's fucked that he met through this line of work feel used and aggrieved well there's yelp there's a bunch of people getting together and going to a
reporter and complaining about this abuse of power but I just I'm sorry maybe everyone's going to yell at me after this goes out I don't see that there's actually much power here to be abused and I think adults are adults and at some point you got to let grown-ups be grown-ups and
every once in a while somebody wants to fuck their instructor because their instructor is charismatic and hot and they in an intense couple of days developed a connection and they want to make that connection a sexual connection and if nobody's being lied to if he's not suggesting that
this person is the love of their life where they've made some magical connection that's going to outlast the one night stand that's an offer I just hard for me to see this as abusive looks to me like grown-ups being grown-ups and doing grown-up things and grown-up places where they're
meeting other grown-ups which is why grown-ups one of the incentives for grown-ups to leave the house to go places do things meet people and fuck some of them today's episode is brought to you by our friends at shameless care like us shameless care champions the uninhibited joy of sex
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the research they have on their site and secure your year of empowered worry free intimacy today because after all the best kind of care is shameless care hi Dan mid 40's just straight woman calling in from Chicago and I have a question about spaces so I'm super hot for like leathery
gay male scenes like I think it would be amazing to go to Folsom or I know that international male leather was just in Chicago last weekend but I know that these aren't my spaces to be in and I don't know if coming to like a dance party like that would bother the guys that are there
because this is a space clearly they've carved out for their community which I'm not a part of I've been to gay bars of dance with folks you know you see girls there the places on Broadway and and places like that in Chicago but I feel those like leather scene places are a
little bit different I think they just seem super sexy and hot guys being so free dancing their harnesses I just think it's super hot but I'm sensitive to not infringing on spaces that aren't mine what do you think and do you think people would mind a straight woman in her 40s showing up
to a leather party like that well thank you for asking and you have my permission to go to Folsom San Francisco or IML in Chicago next year when it rolls around I'm a memorial day weekend look as a woman at one of these events there may be some guys there who are psyched to see you but I got to
say like there are tons of women at particularly Folsom SF if you want to be one of the women at Folsom SF or at IML there are lots of women at IML here's a couple of tips for being one of the women at one of these primarily gay male leather fetish events who isn't hated or resented by a
certain significant percentage of the gay men there most of the gay men there no problem with it used to it there are tons of women at Folsom SF in particular I'd say the event is 40% women if not more at this stage but here's a couple of tips if you don't want to get the side eye from gay men who are looking at you like what the fuck are you doing here don't treat it like Halloween don't go in your molypiscent costume get some leather fetish gear and go in your leather fetish gear you don't
have to go disguised as a gay man you can go in pro-dom leather fetish gear but turn yourself out a little bit send a signal that you get that it's a leather fetish kink event and that you have enough respect for everybody who is gathering at this leather fetish kink event in part to be
surrounded by other people who are in to leather and in to fetish for that to become the baseline in this space at this time briefly and the norm that you respect that desire enough to show up not in khakis and a christmas sweater but in leather fetish gear in rubber in kink gear
it's not Halloween don't treat it like Halloween also it's not a petting zoo or a zoo zoo don't touch the gay man totally fine that the sight of lots of gay men and harnesses dancing or making out turns you on fine but you don't get to move through the crowd touching guys which I
have seen women do at iML and Folsom which women have done at these events to men I was attending these events with who it wasn't you know girl coodies girl germs that they had a problem with it was non consensual touch which is never okay no matter who does it to whom but you're if you're
at a big gay event you should probably just assume that nobody works you touch them nobody who's gay and male at these events they're not just gay men at these events of course and it's not a zoo zoo either you don't want to be and I'm embarrassed to repeat this phrase and I think the gay man
who I first heard used this phrase is a terrible person you don't want to be at iML and be one of the bitches from work that the gay guy who's not kinky told about the event and brought to the events so they could stare and titter and gawk from the corner like it's a zoo zoo like they're at
the zoo not at the petting zoo they're not touching but they're staring and gawking you want to fit in you want to show respect for the kinksters and the fetishes who are turning it out at this event and turn yourself out at this event too and I promise you go to full semis if you will not be
the only woman you will be one of the thousands of women there if you want to be one of the women there that the gay men there and gear are excited to see be one of the women there in gear and be one of the women there who's not staring or tittering or taking pictures or touching the fags who are
there in gear to be touched by consensually other fags and you will be not just welcomed but you will be embraced consensually perhaps at some point the guys there are not going to riot when you walk in but if you walk in like you belong and you are kinky yourself nobody's going to object to you
being there and I promise you an hour after you get there a couple of drinks and you'll probably be chatting with some of the guys and harnesses who if you really brought it you're in an amazing outfit will be showering you with compliments and getting your next drink all right time for some
listener feedback first up some of the comments left on last week's show in the very lively comment threads at savage dot love says pentatonic to the guy whose girlfriend is hung up on her ex hang in there and be patient I was hung up on an ex before in a new relationship and while it took me
some time to get over my ex every week the allure of the ex faded slightly and I was able to appreciate more and more the person I was with says sex coach Shannon gonna gently disagree with the 10 year sex worker in the response calls last week the vast majority of dudes looking for sugar
babies may be looking for a less expensive hooker but the original caller isn't looking for those dudes she's looking for just one man eager to spend money on a woman who will shower him with attention compliments and meaningful conversation with the added benefit of a delicious will we or
won't we sexual tension if the original caller confidently owns her role there are men out there who will happily pay good money for that special dynamic and finally says banner pop would totally love to see damn do a sex and politics or just a bonus podcast because I'm greedy on the benefits
of monarchy I will set that up banner pop I am inviting now sending the email out to King Charles the third hoping he finally comes on the show also wanted a note for the caller whose ex fiance was arrested for sex crimes there are messages from beanie and clio in the comments people who
went through similarly harrowing experiences that are too long to share here but heartfelt and wise and I hope the original caller sees them also lots of informative and supportive comments at savage.love on last week show from Beatrice Steffi Kim Sarah R and Mathisyn Lee for the caller
with breast cancer who's facing a choice between a single and double mastectomy every week I dive into the comments at savage.love and the community our small community there proves every week that savage.love is the one place on the internet where you should always read the comments and I want
to thank everybody for that. all right there's more listener feedback every week in struggle session where I respond to listener and reader comments goes up most Thursdays at savage.love that is exclusively for magnum subs now something else for everybody listener response calls.
hey Dan this is for the woman in episode 919 who is debating between a single and double mastectomy I will also wanted to add some extra food for thought I had my double mastectomy last year I have watched my mom when she had cancer have a single mastectomy when I was growing up
and she always complained about being lopsided and she had many additional surgeries to get quote evened out and I also watched her have the stress of every subsequent mammogram will they find something world will there be this dark spot and just the stress of that ended up being
really not worth it she ended up getting a full double mastectomy completely flat about 10 years later when we found out that we have this bad gene but being able to just move forward and not have to think about it anymore was probably the biggest game changer as for sensitivity of course
I don't feel in the same way that I used to but also it's not completely gone so I wouldn't necessarily just say it's it goes from everything to nothing so I think you need to think about the quality of life that you're going to have not worrying about maybe having cancer and uh
weigh your options and and I wish you the best of luck just a response for the individual who's trying to pee for and on his boyfriend I have a few guys who like to drink from the tab and I think one thing that Dan overlooked was timing it looks like he's able to do it just after he left so
think I recommend would be drinking earlier maybe two hours before and then a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more it takes a little while for your body to process something it's not like you take a drink of water in 15 minutes later you pee so it sounds like
a little bit of timing is off and it just as needed some people have a bigger bladder some have a smaller bladder but it sounds like if you drink more and earlier by the time you get there you'll be ready to pee on them and by the time you're done you'll be ready to pee on them again.
Hey Dan this is a response call to the caller who asked what their sex treatment and I just wanted to thank you for your response saying they don't need anything because last night I had a sex dream about you and we're going to leave it there we've got three ways for you to get us your
questions or comments for future shows you can record your question or comment savage.love slash ask Dan or you can make a voice memo on your phone and email your question or comment to queue at savage.love or you can call our landline and leave us a message 206 302 206 bill.
Hump 2024 Part 1 is available to stream right now in the privacy of your own home if you miss the spring tour in theaters or you just want to watch it one more time at humpthumpfest.com and stream hump today and of course watch for Hump 2024 Part 2 coming this fall and again this
Thursday noon pacific time I will be hosting savage.love live for our magnum subs all ring the magnum sub you will get the link to the show Thursday morning if you are not yet a magnum sub become one now for free at savage.love with the promo code copy June and right now when you
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it actually bad at bad advice column dot sub stack dot com the savage.lovecast is produced every week by Nancy hertonian and me and the tech savvy at risk you and Nancy we all be back at you next week install me at the savage.lovecast thank you for downloading