Dan Savage tackles questions about friendship betrayals, feeling sidelined in threesomes, managing post-breakup emotions in new relationships, and the ethics of faking orgasms. He also explores campaign slogans and the actions of Democratic senators, with a guest appearance by comedian Zach Zimmerman to discuss comedy and tolerance.
A chill married lesbian is a little annoyed to hear that her consistently straight friend, engaged to a man, has announced that she is pan. She is pan, but she plans to remain monogamous with her husband. What's more, she is throwing herself a coming-out-as-pan party. When the caller came out as lesbian, she got kicked out of the house. Is she an asshole to feel less than exhilarated by her friend's new sexual identity? Yikes! Hear the unpleasant tale of the woman who shut her boyfriend's son's ...
A gay man and his boyfriend are in an open relationship. His boyfriend forbids the caller from messing around with anyone in their friend group. But this friend group is super-kinky and super-horny, regularly propositioning the caller for naughty fun. It's getting hard to say no... A trans guy still has "female" on his birth certificate. He wonders if it's too dangerous to try to get it changed at this perilous moment, and also if he should be stockpiling testosterone. Dan brings on Diana Adams-...
Dan Savage tackles listener questions on friendship, hygiene, and relationships. He discusses a friend's toxic behavior, the safety of douching with non-potable water, and the complexities of maintaining friendships with exes when current partners feel threatened. Dan also advises a caller on navigating a potential short-term relationship with a man living in a repressive country.
Dan Savage tackles relationship quandaries, privacy breaches, and sexual anxieties in this episode. He advises on handling accidental journal snooping, navigating post-ghosting apologies, and resolving guilt around consensual sexual acts. The episode also covers micro-cheating anxieties, political activism, and listener feedback, featuring a candid discussion on the complexities of modern relationships and sexual expression.
Dan Savage tackles listener questions on topics ranging from navigating a new relationship with someone who resembles an ex, managing insecurities in a throuple after its dissolution, exploring submission for the first time, and deciding whether to maintain contact with an abusive parent. He also offers advice on handling a deceased brother's phone and shares listener feedback on previous episodes.
Dan Savage discusses San Francisco's declining youth population and the political implications of housing affordability, offering a call to action for Democrats. The episode includes listener questions on topics such as navigating BDSM dynamics, understanding lesbian sex terminology, dealing with a friend's OnlyFans content filmed at the caller's home, and rebuilding trust after infidelity. Plus, feedback on previous episodes and listener advice.
Dan Savage discusses age gap relationships, the bi/pan spectrum, and a listener's polyamorous sleeping arrangement. Magdalene Taylor joins to discuss tech oligarchs turning men into 'unfuckable hate nerds' and a listener navigates dating as a transgender woman. Other topics include sleeping with married men and listener feedback.
Dan Savage tackles listener questions, delving into topics such as age gap relationships, navigating sex parties, and ethical non-monogamy. He offers advice on handling family drama, communicating boundaries in polyamorous relationships, and maintaining honesty in challenging partnerships. The episode also features discussions on AI-generated content and sexual expression.
Pages and pages of escort ads. That's what she found on her boyfriend's phone when she was looking for concert tickets. He insisted he wasn't actually contacting anybody, but was using them for his spank bank. Should she believe him? Is this a problem? A man recently come out as bi, and has a boyfriend in an open relationship. He sees all the gay orgies that are available to him, but wants to get in on some straight sex party action. Where can he find them? How do they work? Hello? On the Magnum...
A married gay man is newly poly with his husband and boyfriend. Simple question: Who should he celebrate Valentine's Day with? A non-binary AFAB person frequents a sex club where women pay much less than men or couples. And there's a dress code...men must be naked, and women must wear lingerie. The caller wears the damn lingerie to snag the discount and to get access to men. But they don't want to be addressed as female in dirty talk or recognized as female in any way. Discuss. On the Magnum, Da...
A straight man was accidentally paired with a trans man on a hookup app. When the trans man found out his match was a straight dude, he tapped out. But that got the caller thinking...should he hunt for pre-op trans men in the hopes of connecting with people still had their female parts? Any problems here? On the Micro and Magnum it's a sneak peek of this week's Sex & Politics with political analyst Tim Miller. He and Dan took a call from a straight man who has recently discovered the kind of ple...
A straight man worries that his one-on-one OnlyFans interactions are a form of infidelity. A divorced man is out dating and learning about tantra. A couple of women he's seen were both mothers, and although he found them attractive and his dick got hard, he couldn't come with either of them. They both blamed themselves for having changed postpartum bodies. Who is the culprit- the ladies or his dick? On the Magnum, Dan chats with cultural historian Kelly Coyne about off-kilter domestic arrangemen...
A gay man is mourning the loss of his hair. He shaved it all off, but doesn't like the new look. Are there any other options? How can he learn to love the new bald version of himself? "Big poly mess in aisle 4!" She started seeing a married man who was new to poly. He has a kid, and mere months in, the caller formed a bond with the child. Then he went and fell in love with yet another woman. His wife is divorcing him, but the caller remains friendly with his wife. Can she continue to see the kid...
A very happy Feast of The Ass to you all! We asked you to send us your carols and boy, did you ever deliver. Hear a smattering of our picks, and we unearthed an olde choral piece that you and your family will surely treasure. A man has been dating a woman for two months. It's going well, but her body type is too thin to turn him on. He tries to feed her extra food, but should he flat out ask her to gain a little weight? On the Magnum, everyone is talking about Babygirl- the new erotic thriller s...
Everyone is feverishly preparing for The Feast of The Ass on January 14! Consequently, many of you have questions, such as "What is the proper Feast of the Ass greeting?" And "Shouldn't the official Feast of the Ass dessert be the Tunnel of Fudge?" As always, Dan has the answers. A woman's brother just got engaged...again. This is the third time, and he has been dating his current girlfriend for a scant 6 months. What's more, the fiancé has been pestering the caller to be best friends, texting h...
Happy New Year! Here's the interview we did with Esther Perel back in September. We hope you like it.
Here's a little friendship drama to start the New Year: A woman and her pal "Jill" are going on a skiing trip in Japan with a group of people. Two of the men approached Jill to tell her they each had crushes on the caller, and asked her to broker a connection. Jill wants nothing to do with this, and the caller is bewildered. Why is Jill so angry? And how should she proceed? A man has a 22 year-old nephew who he suspects is gay. The lad is immersed in conservative Christian culture, and if he is ...
Happy holidays micro listeners! We are releasing this interview with Ezra Klein from February of this year as a thank-you for listening. From Dan, Nancy and the Tech-Savvy At-Risk Youth™ - we wish you a sweet holiday season.
Dan Savage is bringing back a forgotten Catholic holiday. On January 14, let us all celebrate the Feast of the Ass. A woman's beloved twin sister isn't dating, isn't getting on the apps, isn't looking for a relationship. Should the caller keep trying to set her up with great guys from work? Or leave her be? A woman used to be a sex worker when she was younger. She has since built a new career, and loves her life. She got into BDSM, and when she told her new dom about her past, he lost his mind. ...
A gay man was dating a closeted cop for 4 years. Then he found out that the cop WASN'T closeted, and WASN'T single (he has a live-in boyfriend,) but IS a big fat liar. Now the caller wants closure. A straight man just got dumped by his girlfriend after 1 1/2 years. His crime? He followed some thirst trap accounts on Instagram. She felt "betrayed and repulsed." Now sad and bewildered, he'll get a rousing pep talk from Dan Savage. On the Magnum, a poly woman has been told by her girlfriend that sh...
A trans guy just can't break into gay male spaces. He feels ridiculed and rejected, and ends up sitting in a corner alone while the sweaty dance party goes on around him. He used to be confident before his transition. How can he get a little of that male swagger and bed a hot twink? A female used to date "bad boys"- the kind of guy who turned her on sexually but made terrible partners. Now she's with a sweet man who treats her well, but the heat isn't there. Can she train him to turn her on?Can ...
"That's so gay!" So said a 10 year-old boy and got himself punished by the teacher who overheard him. The boy's father is calling for advice on how to explain why saying "That's so gay" as a pejorative is hurtful. A man with a big ole wiener sees his long distance girlfriend once per month. When they see each other they go at it, with a frequency and intensity that will make many of you blush. The problem? It's causing her a lot of pain. Is there a way to make love, not lacerations? Speaking of ...
A straight man confesses to lurking on Discord and masturbating to the pretty female voices he hears there. Nobody knows he is doing this (except all of us now.) Must he stop? With a new hostile regime about to take power, it's more important than ever for queer and trans folks to get their papers in order. Our very favorite lawyer, Diana Adams from the Chosen Family Law Center, is on to talk about these issues, and to advise a married gay couple on how to find a surrogate mother in unconvention...
We open with a somewhat disturbing call from a woman whose white boyfriend visits "wack shacks" when he travels. He hires Asian sex workers to submit to race play and degradation. She approves of him indulging his various kinks outside of their relationship, but this? It's the classic conundrum: the caller has a big wiener and his boyfriend has a small one. A dildo is not quite a penis. What can they do? Our guest is the fiery, foul-mouthed, anti-cheating avenger Tracy Schorn a.k.a Chump Lady. T...
First off, we hear from a neglected third in a poorly executed threeway hook-up. He failed to advocate for himself, and the other two guys weren't asking if he was ok, sitting on the couch, looking at his phone. How could this have gone better? And how can he get over the waves of insecurity he feels when he connects with these same guys again? A woman in an open relationship with a nine year-old daughter wonders how to explain daddy's frequent absences. Our guest this week is the soothing, clev...
We're giving you a break from whatever stressful stuff is going on this week to bring you some of the more...interesting calls we've collected. A man's girlfriend wants to try saline injections on her breasts for a "24 hour boob job." The question is, can he safely do the injecting? A woman's cat is grieving the loss of her longtime companion, a small dog. Now the kinky feline is demanding unspeakable rough treatment and her "owner" is neither G, G, nor G and does NOT consent. Happy Soft Cock We...
A poly guy lives in a rural area with his fiancé. He is building his own house, and hires laborers to come live with him while they build. One of the laborers started hooking up with the caller’s girlfriend without consulting the caller or gaining his consent. Now what? This guy is living in his own damn house, having sex with his own damn lady??? True or False: Gay men who were bullied as kids often hook up with their former bullies. On the Magnum, the worlds collide when Dan Savage, notorious ...
A woman has been dating a man from Ghana for 4 months. She just learned that he has a wife and kid back home, that he married out of familial/cultural obligation. Should the caller hold out to see if he chooses her over his overseas family? A married woman has a one year-old kid. She and her husband are monogamous, but she's getting into performing burlesque at local bars and it's making her want to try...other things. How far will she go? How much will her husband allow? Our guest is Irish come...
A lesbian couple has been together for a couple years, and things are still hot between them. But they wonder if they should check out a sex club just to add a little spice. They are monogamous, and have no interest in contact with other women. Their friends say it's impossible to remain exclusive with each other at one of these spaces. Is that true? Would they be welcome? A man with "anxious attachment style" (hot!) has been seeing a woman for 6 weeks, and things are moving fast. She told him s...
