Are you a therapist who wants the experience of being in a DBT skills group yourself? Are you curious about how the skills can help YOU? Marielle and Ed are starting a new skills group designed specifically for therapists to learn the skills together in a supportive online environment. We are excited to offer this group. For more information and to sign up visit www.dbtskillsgroupfortherapists.com Resources DBT Skills Handouts and Worksheets Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where ar...
Feb 01, 2024•8 min•Season 2Ep. 61
What DBT skill do you use when your emotion fits the facts? One option is to work on changing the facts. The skill of Problem Solving offers a structured framework to help you change situations that cause painful emotions. Problem Solving begins, like many of the Emotion Regulation skills in DBT, by naming your emotion. Next, identify your goal in solving the problem and come up with a solution to meet your goal. Break the solution down into small steps. Finally, take action. Check in with your ...
Jan 17, 2024•27 min•Season 2Ep. 60
Today’s episode discusses the DBT skill of Willingness. Willingness is one of the reality acceptance skills that we teach in Distress Tolerance. This skill can help you let go of fighting what is so you can do what’s needed in each situation - without dragging your feet or holding onto a grudge. One way to understand Willingness is to think of its opposite: Willfulness. When Willfulness is present, you’re fighting reality, trying to control things, or being passive when action is needed. Your Wi...
Dec 14, 2023•30 min•Season 2Ep. 59
Once you have grasp of the DEAR MAN skill, you might find yourself getting stuck when you try to use it in difficult interactions. Maybe the other person pushes back, tries to change the subject, or refuses to engage fairly. While we can’t force anyone to do anything, we can continue to use our skills to stay as effective as possible during heated moments. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed DEAR MAN Introduction to Distress Tolerance &am...
Nov 29, 2023•34 min•Season 2Ep. 58
Once you have a grasp of the change-oriented skills in DBT (such as Check the Facts, Opposite Action, and Problem Solving) it can be hard to figure out which one to use. This episode walks you through deciding if and when to act on an unwanted emotion. For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Skills Discussed Check the Facts Mindfulness of Current Emotions Problem Solving Opposite Action Emotions Explained: Shame Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! W...
Jul 07, 2023•35 min•Season 2Ep. 57
Shame is one of the most painful emotions we can experience. This episode explores what shame is, when the emotion is useful (and when it’s not), and skills to help you cope when shame threatens to overwhelm you. Shame is a social emotion that motivates us to repair transgressions that might result in us being excluded from a group we want (or need) to belong to. Many of us, though, experience a lot of unjustified shame, where we assume we will be rejected if parts of ourselves are revealed. DBT...
Jun 08, 2023•30 min•Season 2Ep. 56
Today’s episode focuses on the emotion of fear. At its most fundamental, fear keeps us safe. It guides us to fight, flee, or freeze in the face of danger. Often, though, fear can be chronic, manifesting as anxiety, worry, or tension even when we are safe. This episode helps you identify fear in all its manifestations and provides tools to help you cope with it. DBT Skills Discussed Build Mastery and Cope Ahead Check the Facts For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podca...
Apr 19, 2023•35 min•Season 2Ep. 55
In this episode, Marielle and Ed discuss the emotion of anger. In its most useful form, anger moves us to protect and defend ourselves and those we care about. Many people, though, find anger frightening because they have witnessed destructive expressions of anger such as emotional or physical violence. This episode unpacks the emotion of anger so you can understand it in yourself and potentially in others. Sometimes anger fits the facts, and sometimes faulty interpretations can intensify anger,...
Mar 31, 2023•34 min•Season 2Ep. 54
When we find ourselves getting caught in extremes, the DBT skill called Walking the Middle Path helps us re-calibrate. Use this skill when you notice you are caught in binary thinking to find a way to move towards center. This episode explores common opposites: Reasonable Mind vs. Emotion Mind Doing Mind vs. Being Mind Intense Desire of the Moment vs. Radical Acceptance of the Moment Self-denial vs. Self-indulgence For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast DBT Sk...
Feb 23, 2023•34 min•Season 2Ep. 53
This episode is an overview of the core Interpersonal Effectiveness skills in DBT, focusing on clarifying objectives, DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST. There are a lot of acronyms in the Interpersonal Effectiveness module! Memorizing what each letter of the acronym stands for, especially DEAR MAN, can help you access the skill when you most need it . The best way to memorize the DEAR MAN script is to write it out again and again until you’ve mastered it. For full show notes, visit our website: https://b...
Jan 27, 2023•50 min•Season 2Ep. 52
In Part 2 of How to Assert Yourself, Marielle and Ed discuss common interpersonal pitfalls in speaking up for yourself in relationships. Do you swallow your needs and then find they all come out in a rush of words and anger? Vacillating between staying silent and then blowing up is common and hurts both your relationships and your self-respect. This episode offers lots of ideas to help you avoid these extremes. It can be hardest to speak up in our closest relationships because that is where the ...
Aug 24, 2022•40 min•Season 2Ep. 51
Do you find it hard to speak up for yourself in relationships? If so, this 2-part series on how to assert yourself may help you understand why it can feel so hard to ask for things or say no in different types of relationships. In order to be able to assert yourself, you first need to know what you want and don’t want. Sometimes this is harder that it seems. If you’ve spent a lifetime minimizing or denying your needs, it may be hard to get in touch with what matters to you most. Once you’ve iden...
Aug 03, 2022•36 min•Season 2Ep. 50
In this episode, Marielle and Ed answer a listener's question about fears of abandonment when conflict arises in relationships. These fears go straight to the heart of old wounds for many people. Often, worry that conflict will destroy a relationship is rooted in our earliest relationships with our caregivers. If that early care was inconsistent, absent, or punishing in some way, it will be hard to feel secure when conflict inevitably arises in adult relationships. With skill use and a lot of co...
Apr 29, 2022•39 min•Season 2Ep. 48
This episode is the 2nd part of an overview of the Emotion Regulation skills in DBT, focusing on skills that can help you be in Emotion Mind less often. You can find part 1 here . The skills discussed in this episode may not have an immediate impact on how you’re feeling, but regular application of these skills over time builds emotional resilience and flexibility. DBT Skills Discussed Accumulating Positive Emotions in the Short-Term Accumulating Positive Emotions in the Long-Term Build Mastery ...
Dec 23, 2021•41 min•Season 2Ep. 48
The Emotion Regulation skills in DBT offer lots of ways to help you identify and respond to emotions. Some of the Emotion Regulation skills focus on change, while others focus on acceptance. This toggling back and forth between acceptance and change is the primary dialectic we are continually balancing in DBT. This episode provides an overview of the Emotion Regulation skills as a whole, and takes a deep dive into change-oriented strategies such as Check the Facts, Opposite Action, and Problem S...
Nov 24, 2021•40 min•Season 2Ep. 47
This episode explores how to apply mindfulness skills to help you manage distressing thoughts using the DBT skill called Mindfulness of Current Thoughts. Thoughts can cause a lot of suffering. Often, thoughts about events are based on assumptions, judgments, or interpretations rather than on facts. The core of this skill is to notice thoughts as just thoughts, or sensations of the brain, rather than as fact or truth. This can help lower emotional distress and reactivity. Mindfulness of Current T...
Nov 02, 2021•33 min•Season 2Ep. 46
Today, Marielle interviews Elle Michel, LMFT, a therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in treating complex trauma. Elle uses a combination of modalities to treat trauma, including DBT, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Brainspotting. This episode focuses on describing what happens in the nervous system after a traumatic event, and how to use DBT skills to cope with an activated brain and body. For more information, including the full show notes, visit our website: https...
Oct 08, 2021•35 min•Season 2Ep. 45
Today, we take a deep dive into working with judgments. Judgments about ourselves and others can increase emotional suffering and negatively impact relationships. Judgments are often assumptions, interpretations, or myths that we add to the facts. We then tend to mistake our judgments for facts. This episode explores how to notice all of the subtle and often habitual ways judgments show up, as well as how to shift into a nonjudgmental stance. For more information, including the full show notes, ...
Sep 09, 2021•33 min•Season 2Ep. 44
The Distress Tolerance skills in DBT offer creative ways to get through challenging situations without making things worse. In Part 2 of this overview of Distress Tolerance skills, we focus on acceptance skills. Both acceptance and change skills can help lower emotional distress so you can access your most wise, grounded self. Radical Acceptance, as well as skills that support Radical Acceptance, are covered in this episode. For more information, including the full show notes, visit our website:...
Aug 19, 2021•34 min•Season 2Ep. 43
The Distress Tolerance skills in DBT offer creative ways to get through challenging situations without making things worse . Today’s episode is Part 1 of an overview of Distress Tolerance as a whole, with a special focus on change-oriented skills. When emotional distress is high, there can be an intense desire to do something to make the distress stop. Very often, when we numb or distance ourselves from distressing emotions, we create new problems. The DBT skills discussed in today’s episode hel...
Jul 28, 2021•34 min•Season 2Ep. 42
Do you find asking for things or saying no hard? If so, this episode is for you. Marielle and Ed provide a framework for thinking about how strongly to make requests and how strongly to say no. For some people, making requests confidently is challenging and for others, it’s saying no that is hard. Sometimes it depends on the type of relationship. Perhaps you’re comfortable saying no with friends but not with family, or you can easily make requests at work but not of your significant other. Whate...
Jul 15, 2021•34 min•Season 2Ep. 41
Today’s episode is a response to a listener question about procrastinating making progress towards life goals. Marielle and Ed explore the emotions that underlie urges to put off doing what needs to get done. For some people, procrastination is a habitual response, no matter what the task. For other people, procrastination is a response to specific unpleasant tasks. Either way, procrastination often leads to feelings of shame and low self-worth. Procrastination also can create secondary problems...
Jun 04, 2021•33 min•Season 2Ep. 40
Today, Marielle interviews Greg Bodin, MFT, a therapist in the San Francisco Bay Area who practices Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT. Greg specializes in anxiety, trauma, men’s sex issues, and is also a certified EMDR therapist. ACT and DBT have a lot in common. One of the core tenets of ACT is learning to accept where your life is right now and committing to making changes so that your life reflects what matters to you. It’s both a therapy approach and a way of understanding how humans...
May 20, 2021•42 min•Season 2Ep. 39
Today, Marielle and Ed discuss the D in DBT: Dialectics. Dialectics helps us remember that two seemingly opposing forces can both be true , change is the only constant, and that we are all connected. When emotions are heightened, either/or thinking can get us stuck and limit our ability to think and creatively problem solve. Dialectics encourages us to move away from either/or thinking and towards both/and thinking. For example, you can love someone and be very upset with them. You can want to w...
May 06, 2021•32 min•Season 2Ep. 38
This episode is in response to a listener question about combining DBT skill use for difficult situations. We thought it was a great question to tackle in an episode. As your knowledge of DBT skills increases, you will likely find that using several different skills is often the most effective way to respond to challenging life situations. Another way of thinking about this is layering skills - using skills to reduce distress first and then using skills to solve problems or change situations. Ma...
Apr 21, 2021•39 min•Season 2Ep. 37
In this episode of The Skillful Podcast, we answer two listener questions. The first question is from a listener who wants advice about balancing conflicting values to build a life worth living. The second question is about how to maintain your DBT skills practice once treatment has ended. Marielle and Ed discuss the issues these questions bring up and offer creative ways to think about the dilemmas presented. DBT Skills Discussed Accumulating Positive Emotions in the Long-Term Cope Ahead For mo...
Mar 31, 2021•25 min•Season 2Ep. 36
As we pass the year mark of pandemic life, many of us are exhausted and eager to get back to how things used to be. While there are positive developments with vaccination rates rising and case counts lowering in some parts of the world, the finish line is still far away. We need emotional stamina to stay the course and tolerate the limits on daily life that the pandemic imposes. In this episode, Marielle and Ed discuss lots of DBT skills that can help you do this. DBT Skills Discussed: Validatio...
Mar 17, 2021•33 min•Season 2Ep. 35
As we close out the year, new skills may be needed to help you get through a holiday season that’s unlike any other. Marielle and Ed discuss skills to help you cope and cultivate moments of joy. Isolation, a constant for many people these days, might be intensified during the holidays. Not being able to be around friends and family for the holidays is painful but for others, it may feel like a relief. Naming and making space for uncomfortable emotions like sadness, loss, fear, and frustration is...
Dec 16, 2020•35 min•Season 2Ep. 34
Today’s episode explores ten common interpersonal myths. These myths can prevent us from being as effective in relationships as we like. Some of these myths are about how we “should” be or how others “should” be. Some of these myths are about conflict, or about whether it’s ok to assert our need or say no. Often we learn these myths from our families when we are young, and it’s helpful to recognize and name them so they don’t dictate what we do in relationships. In this episode, we unpack each m...
Oct 28, 2020•37 min•Season 2Ep. 33
This is a special episode geared towards our listeners in the United States. We have a big election approaching and if you struggle with your emotions, you may be more impacted by the uncertainty, polarization, and chaos in our country. Compounding the political uncertainty are environmental threats like wildfires and hurricanes. On top of all this, we are still in a pandemic! No wonder Wise Mind may be harder to find. Marielle and Ed discuss DBT skills to help you stay as grounded and effective...
Oct 14, 2020•35 min•Season 2Ep. 32
