Patti was my second guest on this podcast back in 2020. In our first recording, Patti shares more about what it was like being a young widow and later dealing with infertility with her now husband. In this follow-up episode, Patti shares some wonderful surprises God had in store for her in the last three years, including the impact working through her grief with me has had on her life and parenting in the time since she participated in one of my grief recovery group programs. Patti's story prove...
Jun 27, 2023•36 min•Season 4Ep. 148
Did you know that the term "midlife crisis" was coined by Elliot Jacques, a psychoanalyst who came up with the term in 1965 after noticing significant changes in one of his middle-aged clients? A lot has changed since 1965; the way we eat, how we eat, what we drive, societal views about marriage and children, etc. It's as if Mr. Jacques saw the writing on the wall back then. Fast-forward fifty-eight years, and the "midlife crisis" has become, in some respects, a societal joke. Hit forty, and you...
Jun 20, 2023•26 min•Season 3Ep. 147
This "Where Are They Now?" episode with Jordan is a follow-up to the first conversation we recorded on 01/19/2021. Jordan's first episode went live as episode 44 on 4/27/2021. You may want to check out that episode first, then come back to this follow-up episode. In this follow-up episode, Jordan shares about the devastating loss of his older brother to a fentanyl overdose only a week after we recorded his first episode. In the time since, Jordan has been able to maintain his sobriety. However, ...
Jun 13, 2023•1 hr 20 min•Season 3Ep. 146
The question, "What can I do to support myself in my grief," has a simple answer in four words that I don't share in the episode but is explored through the self-reflection exercise contained in the episode. What are the four words? Get - To - Know - Yourself. ✨ In this week's episode, you will do just that. Before you listen, I suggest you get in the headspace and right environment to self-reflect. Light a candle if you like. Eliminate distractions. Push play. There are three steps in this self...
Jun 06, 2023•17 min•Season 3Ep. 145
Melody and Gracelyn are an aunt and niece team behind Luna Peak Foundation and Luna Peak Publishing. Through their nonprofit, they publish photography books, engaging workbooks, and children's books that show people they are not alone in grief. Their work helps dispel stereotypes about cancer and grief and provides resources for the whole family to help heal. They have donated over 2,000 books to hospitals, therapist offices, schools, and universities. Nonprofit work aside, Melody and Gracelyn d...
May 30, 2023•47 min•Season 3Ep. 144
Being an eternal optimist means always looking on the bright side and having hope, no matter what obstacles might attempt to push you off your path. Some people may not necessarily be eternal optimists. However, they've become incredibly good at reframing a challenging situation for the better. I would say I am more of a "reframing" type. However, this week's guest, Laurie-Ann, can remember being an eternal optimist since she was a little girl. And as I dug more deeply during our conversation, i...
May 23, 2023•52 min•Season 3Ep. 143
May is Mental Health Awareness Month! Taking mental health seriously and prioritizing it is the job of the individual. Even if you find yourself in a situation where you are forced to prioritize your mental health, that doesn't necessarily equate to successful results. The effort you make, along with your intention, will create positive outcomes. We can allow ourselves to become bogged down by grief in our lives, or we can take small, actionable steps every day that move us forward and create mo...
May 16, 2023•15 min•Season 3Ep. 142
When tragedy strikes or challenging times knock on a family's door, the children involved can feel cast aside or as if they are an afterthought while the adults are experiencing their emotional crisis. However, it doesn't have to be that way. As adults become more knowledgeable about grief, learning new tools and new information, beliefs about grief and how to respond to it can change, too. As children's adult caretakers/caregivers connect to their own grief and apply new knowledge and tools, th...
May 09, 2023•16 min•Season 3Ep. 141
Quandell's first episode was Ep. 28 | The Scars of Abuse, Poverty, and Shame , recorded in October 2020 and went live on January 5th, 2021. Listening to Quandell's first episode is recommended to appreciate where Quandell was and how far he's come in his life. He asks one question in this episode: "How do you grieve?" It's a question we all would benefit from reflecting upon and recognizing where we may need additional support or accountability for moving forward. Personal development and life t...
May 02, 2023•48 min•Season 3Ep. 140
Many grief terms have come about to describe grief: abbreviated absent anticipatory chronic collective complicated distorted disenfranchised inhibited delayed masked normal The American Psychological Association describes complicated grief as grief that seems to deviate from what’s expected, interfering with the ability to function. Isn't that grief, in general? Doesn't grief completely flip a person's world and life upside down? Does the term complicated grief and the laundry list of others do ...
Apr 18, 2023•10 min•Season 3Ep. 139
Bill Gross, the founder of the non-profit Farm Rescue, has been traveling the world with his career as a UPS pilot for the past 30 years. However, his heart never left or forgot the farm he called home in ND. He knew he wanted to give back to ND farmers once he retired; however, a chance conversation prompted him to ask himself: "Why wait?" We don't know what our future has in store for us. Why put off for tomorrow what you can do today? Thoughts like these prompted Bill to not wait for Farm Res...
Apr 04, 2023•45 min•Season 3Ep. 138
It happens often; we hear people say they want or need closure. We also hear it on crime shows and true crime documentaries, too. However, what feels more accurate, and what would be a more helpful expression of what those left behind genuinely desire? Listen to this quick Q&A on closure and discover why it's unhelpful and what would be a more accurate goal to aim for when grieving. Sudden or traumatic loss (or events) often leave people wanting closure. And that desire that may never be ach...
Mar 21, 2023•10 min•Season 3Ep. 137
Susana is no stranger to grief. As a young child, she was a victim of sexual abuse. As a young adult, she lost her mother, later becoming her father's caretaker, only to eventually lose him. The death of her nephew to suicide was when she realized that she could do something - that she needed to do something. Susana would put her strengths, skills, training as a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, education in Clinical Psychology, and, more importantly, the pain of her past into purpose by serv...
Mar 07, 2023•1 hr 2 min•Season 3Ep. 136
The question on today's podcast is one I have heard a lot and one I've also asked myself if I'm being honest. It's normal and natural to ask ourselves questions like this, and it doesn't mean that you mean any ill will towards others. It also doesn't mean other people are "bad"; bad things should happen to them instead. I see this question as an expression of trying to make sense of tragedy or challenges. When looking at outside circumstances, when you see other people living their lives in such...
Feb 28, 2023•9 min•Season 3Ep. 135
Jill's father walked out of their home when she was sixteen months old and didn't return. He died in a plane crash, and her life was forever changed. Fortunately, her mental health was of the utmost importance, having received counseling and therapy throughout her childhood and adulthood. During that time, the groundwork was being laid to prepare her, or as Jill would say, God was preparing her hands for His work. And that she did. After finding her way from making jewelry for people celebrating...
Feb 14, 2023•49 min•Season 3Ep. 134
In this first Q&A episode, Ruth asks why she's struggling more with her spouse's death than the death of her parents. In my response, I share a perspective you may find helpful when considering your losses. Whether you've been married for five, fifteen, or forty years, or your parents died when you were young or in your fifties, death may finalize the physical relationship; however, the emotional relationship carries on. I'd love to answer your question on the podcast. Submit your Q to my em...
Jan 24, 2023•9 min•Season 3Ep. 133
What is to come in 2023 for Grieving Voices? Tune in to this episode to find out all of the details. Before you listen, I want to share that this episode came to be after months and months of stewing and contemplation, trying to logically come to a resolution of what to do about Grieving Voices. Should I stop podcasting? Take a sabbatical? I wasn't sure, and the answer certainly was not coming to me quickly, at least one that felt entirely right. And I realize that's because I was solely relying...
Jan 03, 2023•23 min•Season 3Ep. 132
What does family mean to you ? Who makes up your family? Not only those you claim by blood but those you choose , who show up when life throws curveballs? There are reasons to grieve family; the family you wish you had and even the family you may wish you didn't have, too. We can't choose our family, but we have a say in their role in our lives. And, when a family is made up of less-than-loving relationships, we can even choose to fill the needs of our hearts by choosing to have people in our li...
Dec 27, 2022•26 min•Season 3Ep. 131
When you fill out your calendar, do you intentionally set time aside to reflect and for introspection? Probably not. Most of us don't do so. However, as Kevin shares in this episode, doing so for his grief has made all of the difference in his life. Kevin speaks to the cumulative losses of his career, his father, his mother, and subsequent divorce. He also shares the impact of having a small nuclear family and missing out on a larger, extended family community growing up. We often don't think ab...
Dec 20, 2022•45 min•Season 3Ep. 130
Grief is cumulative, and it's cumulatively negative. Every loss we experience stacks on top of those before it. For Genesis Amaris Kemp, attending funerals started becoming a regular occurrence. Add the loss of loved ones before the Covid pandemic (and during) to the loss of a job during the same timeframe, and it can be challenging to find solid footing. Additionally, learning, for the first time, how to advocate for a parent in the healthcare system posed its challenges during this same period...
Dec 13, 2022•40 min•Season 3Ep. 129
Was your childhood filled with joy and surrounded by love and support? There may have been some challenging times for your parents or even for you, but what if you indeed did have the ideal life? Dan's childhood was amazing. So when grief hit home hard, and hard it did, he was ill-prepared. He had experienced the death of his grandparents, but even then, there was little discussion about death or grief. His parents did their best to shelter him and his siblings from the sorrows of life. So when ...
Dec 06, 2022•1 hr 13 min•Season 3Ep. 128
Melissa's episode embodies several different ways one may experience grief. And as she shares each story, she also provides insight into loss from her perspective as a clinical psychologist. At age 4, her older sister (age 7) died of leukemia. Melissa's earliest memories are related to her sister battling leukemia for eighteen months and being bounced from house to house while her parents were away with her older sister for her healthcare. And, once her sister died, life went on as if it had nev...
Nov 29, 2022•57 min•Season 3Ep. 127
We are all going to die. However, none of us know when, although some may know how (as with a terminal illness). One thing we can do for ourselves and our loved ones, not knowing when our last day will come, is to prepare for it. We will spare our loved ones from making many complex (and conflicting) decisions. You can be your own hero and that of your loved ones by taking ownership of your life as you're living and in death. Being your own hero means that sometimes, it pays to take chances and ...
Nov 22, 2022•23 min•Season 3Ep. 126
Tim's grief was compounded by the loss of his best friend and then-wife within a year of each other. It's enough to send anyone into a tailspin as it did for Tim. He found himself at the lowest point in his life. Grief-stricken, he found solace in a bottle until a friend asked him if he thought he had been drinking too much. From then on, he considered his path and decided to change his approach to life. Love found him where he least expected it; in the arms of the widow of his deceased best fri...
Nov 15, 2022•1 hr 7 min•Season 3Ep. 125
According to Johns Hopkins, 240,000 medical error deaths occur every year. Betsy learned that when it comes to the healthcare system and being a caregiver, becoming informed and a fierce advocate is the only option. Betsy learned real-life experience about medical advocacy while her husband survived prostate cancer, only to be diagnosed with bone marrow cancer five years later. Four years after his bone marrow cancer diagnosis, he passed away. Within six months of his passing, she went against t...
Nov 08, 2022•47 min•Season 3Ep. 124
What do you want to happen if you are incapacitated while on your deathbed or after you die? If you don't have a will, that decision may be left up to the state. These are big questions that often don't have answers for those who are left behind. In the most emotional moments, the family is left to make decisions that weren't theirs. Each of us has a responsibility, not only to ourselves but those who would be left behind, to address our matters before those things are left to someone else to de...
Nov 01, 2022•1 hr 12 min•Season 3Ep. 123
There are two camps of grievers; those who talk about their grief and share their stories and those who keep their grief and stories hidden. Regardless of the camp, you find yourself in, there is one common denominator that is often present with most, if not all, grievers - anger. There is a caveat to sharing your story, though. As we look for meaning in our experiences, including those that cause us grief, we can find ourselves repeating the story without ever getting into how the experience ma...
Oct 25, 2022•35 min•Season 3Ep. 122
Christian is one of nine children born and raised in Cuba during turbulent times and in the Catholic faith. His parents instilled in him the importance of excelling and reading. These early lessons laid a foundation. However, those lessons also set the stage for a desire to escape and not be seen. Introversion and depression plagued his adolescence, as was his knowledge of being gay. With courage, he came out to his family. Christian speaks about this challenging time in his life and the ones th...
Oct 18, 2022•1 hr 10 min•Season 3Ep. 121
Less than 1% of Americans serve in the U.S. military. That leaves 99% of Americans who will never understand the cost of serving their country, particularly during wartime. Scott shares his path to emotional freedom from the scars of war after deploying to Afghanistan with his brother, Steven. Rather than Scott celebrating homecoming with his brother, he accompanied Steven, killed in action, in a casket draped with the American flag. Although Scott was scheduled to return to Afghanistan two shor...
Oct 11, 2022•1 hr 11 min•Season 3Ep. 120
Every human being experiences trauma to some degree. We don't have to experience "Big T Traumas" for those experiences to leave an imprint on our hearts and bodies. At age 5, Kimberly had such an experience after witnessing her father physically abuse her mother while she and her older sibling were present. And, because they were in a vehicle, there was nowhere to run or hide. Afterward, her father dropped off her mother and sibling at a family member's home. On the other hand, Kimberly was take...
Oct 04, 2022•57 min•Season 3Ep. 119
