People say you have to move on or that you should "be over it by now." However, no one tells you or shows you how to do it. For me, after struggling to get beyond the pain of my trauma and losses for 30+ years, the Grief Recovery Method was the how . Naysayers and doubters are welcome. 🤗 I was a skeptic, too. How could a process or method help me move on from the pain after sitting in it for 30+ years? I went into it with some doubt, convinced I would, at the very least, learn new tools, knowle...
Sep 27, 2022•31 min•Season 3Ep. 118
They say it's unnatural to lose a child. And, there's no word for a parent who has lost a child other than griever, which somehow doesn't embody all a parent experiences—much less childless parents. What is a word for a parent whose only child dies? As it turns out, there's maybe only one that might describe that inconsolable feeling - lost. Phil found himself lost in an ocean of tears after his only son, Perry, 14 1/2 years old, and his friend became victims of a storm that came out of nowhere ...
Sep 20, 2022•1 hr 5 min•Season 3Ep. 117
Reid is the creator of the Grief Refuge app and supports grievers through publishing daily audio messages that soothe and comfort people pained by grief. Grief is something Reid grew up knowing well. As a young adult, his biological father, who struggled with alcohol abuse, died by suicide. Fortunately, his stepfather came into his life as a child and was a positive influence. However, grief would strike hard when his stepfather passed away after a long, eight-year battle with cancer. And, Reid ...
Sep 13, 2022•46 min•Season 3Ep. 116
They say it's unnatural for a parent to outlive and bury a child. Likewise, it's not natural for a child to bury their parent. There is no hierarchy of loss. We all grieve at 100%, and there are no half-grievers. Therefore, all losses are felt at 100%, too. So, who's to say what loss is worse than the next? However, for a moment, put yourself in the shoes of a child who buries a parent. Often, there's another parent in the wings to comfort and console the child. But that's not always the case. M...
Sep 06, 2022•57 min•Season 3Ep. 115
Finding our way home to self is the journey we’re all on in the physical plain. So that hopefully, when our time is drawing near, we will have experienced a life well-lived. A life filled with joy and more importantly, one of peace. In this week's episode, I share a bit about my journey finding my way home back to myself. And also discuss the stories of the three previous guests and a snippet of how they have been journeying home to themselves. I don't know that we ever fully "arrive" at feeling...
Aug 30, 2022•11 min•Season 3Ep. 114
Ram Dass Khalsa is a singer-songwriter who, through the loss of his newborn son to Trisomy-18, learned how to write a new song as he learned how to grieve healthily. It would take Ram Dass several years to learn what it means to grieve healthily, and growing up with "yogi" parents, taught him the importance of being in his body. However, he never learned how to be with his feelings. Ram Dass and his partner knew they were expecting challenges ahead. At twenty weeks pregnant, they learned their b...
Aug 23, 2022•57 min•Season 3Ep. 113
Imagine identifying your parent for a crime, knowing that what you disclose will send your only parent to prison. Imagine moving 11x by the time you were in the 5th grade. And imagine being the child of a parent who, for most of your childhood, was struggling with undiagnosed bipolar disorder. Kyira was no stranger to chaos and uneasiness. She was the only child of a parent who turned to substances to cope with her mental health challenges and, in many ways, was the adult in the relationship. Pe...
Aug 16, 2022•1 hr 11 min•Season 3Ep. 112
We all have intuition. And we all have the power to tap into the intuition within us, too. However, sometimes our intuition doesn't feel good to us. As was the case the day that Stephanie's father wasn't coming home as was expected. She looked out the window, saw his car but didn't see him and instinctively knew something wasn't right. At the age of 15, Stephanie found her father dead. The reminder was constantly there from that day forward, not only of his absence in her life but also the traum...
Aug 09, 2022•1 hr 11 min•Season 3Ep. 111
This week's episode is an invitation to look at how you had been mothered and nurtured by your mother (or mother figure) as a child and how that has influenced you today. I also bring Mother Nature into the conversation because what Mother Nature gives us is a great analogy, in general, for the topic of experiencing mothering and nurturing. When was the last time you gave yourself, as an adult, what you never received as a child? This conversation is less about self-care and more about something...
Aug 02, 2022•13 min•Season 3Ep. 110
Were you born and raised in the land of the free and home of the brave, the United States of America? This week's episode reminds me that oppression and enslavement are not only in Yemen, where this week's guest was born but also in the free world. It just looks different from what Maha experienced. Ironically, Maha fled Yemen, where she experienced oppression, enslavement, arranged marriage twice that included violence and rape, and two civil wars in search of a better (more free) life in Ameri...
Jul 26, 2022•53 min•Season 3Ep. 109
How would you live your life if a ticking time bomb was woven into the very fabric of your everyday life? Would you carry on business as usual? Would you live like tomorrow is not guaranteed and chip away at your bucket list? Rachael's story isn't about a ticking time bomb that is in her body. Rather, it is about the ticking time bomb of grief that lies in wait due to the one her beloved has in his body. However, that is only part of Rachael's story. What if, newly married, you found out you wer...
Jul 19, 2022•1 hr 11 min•Season 3Ep. 108
In this week's episode, Michele of @soaringspiritsintl and a 2021 Top 10 CNN Hero, shares her story about the challenges of blending a family, but then enduring a devastating loss and grieving as a blended family. But because grief is cumulative and cumulatively negative, a previous divorce, followed by the sudden death of her spouse, then the death of her father, taught her so much more about what it means to grieve well. It's hard enough to be a widow and raise your own children, but few talk ...
Jul 12, 2022•1 hr 19 min•Season 3Ep. 107
As a mother, carrying and growing another human in the womb for nine months, it is expected that a healthy child will be born. However, for Elizabeth, that is not what happened. Her world was shattered when she realized that she wouldn't be a new mom overflowing with joy. Rather, she would become a mother with grieving empty arms. After her firstborn died, Elizabeth and her husband were fortunate to have a healthy daughter. Yet again, her joy was cut short when their daughter was only about 5 mo...
Jul 05, 2022•56 min•Season 3Ep. 106
When you're pulled between the feelings of what you wish would be different, better, or more, and faced with a moment where a decision has to be made, it can be challenging to cut through all of the emotion and lean into trust. In this week's Takeaways & Reflections episode, I use Kasey and Michelle's stories to illustrate the challenges we can have with trust, not only in our own inner guidance but also that there potentially is something better waiting for us on the other side of leaning i...
Jun 28, 2022•10 min•Season 2Ep. 105
In the grief recovery programs, one way we describe grief is that it is the loss of hopes, dreams, and expectations. This description of grief, in this way, has not been better understood by society as a whole more than it has since 2020 with the onset of the Covid-19 pandemic. As society begins to emerge from the darkness Covid brought to so many lives, we start to see ourselves and others in a new light. We have started to see the impact of the past two years on the psyche of millions, its glo...
Jun 21, 2022•52 min•Season 2Ep. 104
Warning: This episode contains a mother's account of her son, CJ's, final days of life. This may be difficult for some listeners to hear, particularly those who have lost a child. 99 Days. How much life can you squeeze out of 99 precious newborn days? Especially when 84 of those are spent in the hospital? Kabuki, a major theatrical form in Japan for four centuries, became less of a theatrical experience and more of a grieving one. Kabuki Syndrome (a rare genetic syndrome), named in part after fa...
Jun 14, 2022•54 min•Season 2Ep. 103
Addiction isn't just applicable to a substance use disorder. Often the anxiousness of learning to live life as a griever can lead to overdoing, busyness, workaholism, etc. We can become addicted to being busy in an effort to avoid feeling our feelings. "Keeping Busy" is actually one of the 6 Myths of Grief. In this week's Takeaways & Reflections episode, I reflect on alcohol and the other ways addiction may be impacting life as a griever. I also dig deeper into the energetics of addiction an...
Jun 07, 2022•30 min•Season 2Ep. 102
This week's episode is a collaboration with my friend, Dru Jaeger, co-founder of Club Soda and author of How to Be a Mindful Drinker: Cut Down, Take a Break, or Quit . Dru woke up one morning a happy child with two parents and went to bed that night without a mother. She died suddenly and unexpectedly of a massive brain hemorrhage. Within six months, his father would relocate their family to another country. Like many of us, Dru learned that you suppress it, distract yourself, keep yourself busy...
May 31, 2022•1 hr 7 min•Season 2Ep. 101
When you're in a place of self-loathing, self-love likely won't come naturally and will be challenging to prioritize and do. However, when grieving, self-love must be a non-negotiable aspect of grieving to grieve well . In this week's episode, I cover the eight dimensions of wellness courtesy of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMH), which collectively address our whole well-being. These aren't areas that need to be addressed all at the same time. However, small sh...
May 24, 2022•39 min•Season 2Ep. 100
"Bang, I made a mistake!" Those were the words, my guest, Wayne Forrest, described the moment that changed his life forever. It was a chance happening (or was it?) that Wayne had some teammates out injured from his rugby team, and he filled in to play the game he loved. One play during that game would have him waking up in a hospital bed five days later to realize he could not only move his legs but he couldn't move his arms or hands. In an instant, Wayne became a statistic and a C4 quadriplegic...
May 17, 2022•52 min•Season 2Ep. 99
Agoraphobia is a mental and behavioral disorder, specifically an anxiety disorder characterized by anxiety symptoms in situations where the person perceives their environment to be unsafe with no easy way to escape. These situations can include open spaces, public transit, shopping centers, or simply being outside their home. Amy's mom died suddenly and unexpectedly when she was 11 of a massive heart attack. They were the best of friends a mother and daughter could be. As an only child of a sing...
May 10, 2022•1 hr 15 min•Season 2Ep. 98
In this Takeaways & Reflections episode, I reflect on the importance of not grieving alone. We all need support through grief because, going it alone, keeps us stuck and ruminating on our grief. Connection to others is what gives a griever hope. I also share in this episode how I took a long way around to find the right support for me and the impact that had on my own life and my grief. If not now, when? And, if what you're doing now isn't working, then when will you seek something else that...
May 03, 2022•14 min•Season 2Ep. 97
Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free. - The Shawshank Redemption This week's guest, Brent Scarpo, was a casting director for one of the most acclaimed and beloved films of all time, "The Shawshank Redemption." Through his personal love of the film, he shares a few of his favorite lessons from the movie. These lessons served him well as he grieved the loss of his best friend and mother to cancer. But a chance conversation with his mother years earlier would be the catalyst for comfor...
Apr 26, 2022•1 hr 28 min•Season 2Ep. 96
What is your relationship with food? Would you say it's healthy? Does it leave you often feeling shameful? Does the self-critic lurk out from the shadows after you've eaten something that isn't deemed "healthy?" I know I've left a drive-thru at times wondering why on earth I ever stopped, as I just feel like physical crap after eating something I know isn't serving me. Perhaps that is my intuition and my inner-knowing saying "I told you so!" Or, perhaps it's neither good nor bad; rather these ar...
Apr 19, 2022•17 min•Season 2Ep. 95
Anorexia nervosa: an eating disorder characterized by attempts to lose weight to the point of starvation. Hannah believed she was destined to suffer in silence. Her obsession with food, body image, and a strive for perfection began in middle school. She was always the tallest in her class and developed early on as well. Hannah would go through periods of starving herself followed by an episode of bingeing. This went on through college and into her 20s when she finally "got sick and tired of bein...
Apr 12, 2022•51 min•Season 2Ep. 94
This episode is a quick and dirty one about how we don't heal in isolation and that support is an important piece of the grief puzzle. In all of the conversations I've had with grievers of all kinds over the past several years, none of them wished they would be alone in their grief. Every single one had a desire to be heard and held in their sorrow. Grief is alienating. And, society doesn't help by perpetuating the 6 Myths of Grief : Don't Feel Bad Replace the Loss Be Strong Keep Busy Grieve Alo...
Apr 05, 2022•7 min•Season 2Ep. 93
Like many kids, Phoebe grew up in a broken home. Her parents split up when she was 7 and she would remain living with her father until she turned 14. With her own knowing and willpower, she left her father to go live with her grandmother until landing back with her mother. What she experienced between ages 7 and 14 was a frightening relationship with her father, a Vietnam vet, who was struggling with PTSD along with alcohol and drug abuse. Despite loving her father, she knew wasn't safe in his c...
Mar 29, 2022•59 min•Season 2Ep. 92
What is it costing you by looking to others for permission to grieve your way? What is it costing you, to not address the child within you and the grief you've carried with you into adulthood from your childhood? Grief isn't about death alone. So, don't be mistaken that because someone did not die in your childhood that you don't have grief or, that you aren't holding on to the energy of grief. The loss of hopes, dreams, expectations - for relationships, your life, career, health, finances... An...
Mar 22, 2022•19 min•Season 2Ep. 91
I asked this week's guest, Jill Johnson-Young, the following question: "How are you still upright?" @RebelliousWidow experienced the loss of Linda, her first love, after 23 years. Linda had survived breast cancer but later succumbed to pulmonary fibrosis which was due to the chemo she received to beat the breast cancer. Jill would find herself, what she calls, a "rebellious widow" once more after her love, Casper, died of Lewy Body Dementia after 3 1/2 years. The capacity to love is plentiful in...
Mar 15, 2022•1 hr 16 min•Season 2Ep. 90
As a child, were you called a crybaby? A child taught to grieve alone becomes an adult who also grieves alone. To break the cycle of learned behavior, we have to learn new information. If you want to learn how to support children in their grief, this episode walks you through what not to do and what to do instead. Most of us grew up without a healthy demonstration of how to grieve healthily. When we are faced with challenges as adults, we resort to what we know and what we've been taught. When s...
Mar 08, 2022•23 min•Season 2Ep. 89
