Victoria Volk: This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️. My twelve-week in-person or online program that helps grieving who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. In Do Grief Differently™️, you learn new tools, education, and a method you can utilize the rest of your life. In this program and with my guidance, you remove the pain of grief. The sadness will always be there because even in complicated relationships, we love, but it's the pain of grief that keeps us stuck.
Victoria Volk: Hey, Hey, Hey, Welcome to grieving voices. I'm your host, Victoria Volk of The Unleashed Heart. And today's episode is a Q&A episode titled, What can I do to support myself in my grief? And this episode is actually going to be an exercise in personal reflection. And so if you're driving or if you're busy working or doing some other activity, I invite you to push pause on this and come back to it at a time when you can jot down notes. Or work through the prompts as I am going through it on this episode. This is something you can come back to. Save it, refer to it maybe three months from now as a check-in and share this with someone you know or love who really is kind of sitting in a place of, I don't know what I need, I don't know what I want, but are definitely stuck in the rut of grief or whose life is feeling challenged at the moment. And no one has to die for you to grieve. It can just be life change because grief is a change in familiar pattern of behavior that can cause us grief.
Victoria Volk: So I invite you again to come back to this episode and share it, save it, but let's get started on today's episode, inspired by some information I received and learned myself through the Veterans Administration. So if you are a veteran, there's resources just like this one I'm going to share with you available at your local seabock or Veterans Administration office. I encourage you to check-in to their live whole health program. Their whole motto for live whole health is discover what matters. And so this little exercise is just a personal health inventory to help you as a griever or someone who is struggling with something in your life. To take a personal inventory of your health and look at your whole health, your whole self with a wider lens. Because especially in grief, we can become very narrowly focused we're either dwelling on the past or we're worrying about the future and really get away from living in the present moment.
Victoria Volk: And so this is an exercise to be present with yourself. There's three steps I'm gonna walk you through. And as I'm describing these three steps, take your notes as I'm speaking, and answer these things for yourself. By the end of it. I think that you will have a really good picture as to what area of your life is needing some support, where you need some support, And and then I encourage you to look for the resources, the people out in your community that can help you reach the goals that you have to be the best version of yourself. Because in order to know how we can best support ourselves in our grief or during a challenging time, we need to recognize where we're at and where we want to go. And so I'm hoping that this personal health inventory and this reflection into the self will help you discern that.
Victoria Volk: So step one, take a personal health inventory by rating where you are on a scale of one to five, one being not so good, and five being great, in each of the following. Physical well-being, rate yourself one to five, mental and or emotional well-being. Remember, one is not so good. Five is great. And thirdly, life. How is it to live your life day to day? What's it like being you? Is it one not so good? Maybe it's two, maybe it's middle of the road, three, four. It's it's okay. It could be better, but it's not great, which is five. And then answer this question after you've done that. What matters most to you in your life right now. I'll have you push pause and take a few moments to share your thoughts down on paper.
Victoria Volk: The next step of this exercise is to discover where you are and where you would like to be. And to do this, you really need to be honest with yourself and others about where you are and where you would like to be. I would have you rate each of the following where you are now between one and five, one being low, five being high, and you don't necessarily have to wish to be a five in the future either. It's just where you are right now, one to five, and where you want to be. So first, moving the body. Our physical, mental, and emotional health are impacted by the amount and the kind of movement that we do. So how would you rate yourself as on a scale of one to five, one being low, five being high, that best represents where you are and where you want to be. As far as moving your physical body. Next, recharge. Our bodies and minds need rest in order to optimize our health. Recharging also involves activities that replenish your mental and physical energy. Where are you right now? One to five? And where would you like to be?
Victoria Volk: Third, food and drink. What we eat and drink can have a huge effect on how we experience life both physically and mentally. Where are you right now? One to five? Where would you like to be? Next, personal development. Our health is impacted by how we spend our time. We feel best when we can do things that really matter to us. Or bring us joy. Where are you right now? Where do you want to be? On a scale of one to five. Next, family, friends, and coworkers. Our relationships, including those with pets, have as significant an effect on our physical and emotional health as any other factor associated with well-being. Where would you rate yourself today as to where you are right now? And what would you rate yourself on where you would like to be?
Victoria Volk: Next, spirit and soul. Connecting with something greater than ourselves may provide a sense of meaning and purpose. Peace, or comfort. Spiritual connection can take many forms. Are you honoring right now your spirit and soul? And where are you on that scale of one to five? And where would you like to be? Surroundings. Surroundings include where we live, work, learn, play and worship. Both indoors and out. Safe, stable, and comfortable surroundings have a positive effect on our health. Where are you right now as far as your surroundings? Where would you like to be?
Victoria Volk: This one thing to consider with surroundings is toxicity, like the toxic relationships you have in your life or may have in your life either at work or at home? Is it a safe home environment? Is there a lot of chaos? Same with work? Is it environmentally toxic? Take all those things into consideration when thinking about surroundings?
Victoria Volk: Next, power of mind. Our thoughts are powerful and can affect our physical, mental, and emotional health. Changing our mindset can aid in healing and coping. Where do you feel you are right now as far as peace of the mind? Where would you like to be on a scale of one to five? Five again being high. One being low.
Victoria Volk: And lastly, professional care. Partnering with your healthcare team to address your health concerns, understand care options and define actions you may take to promote your health and goals. Where do you feel you are right now with professional care? Do you have people in systems in your life that support you in your physical health? Where would you like to be in that department?
Victoria Volk: All of these moving the body recharge, food and drink, personal development, family friends and coworkers, spirit and soul, surroundings, power of the mind, and professional care are all building blocks of health and well-being.
Victoria Volk: So after you've gone through all of these, take a good look. What are some of the areas that you need more support. Where would you like to be?
Victoria Volk: That brings us to step number three. Reflection questions to dive a little deeper. Now that you have thought about what matters to you in all of these areas, what would your life look like if you had the health you want? What kind of activities would you be doing? Or how might you feel different? What area might you focus on? Pause this and jot your notes and come back to it for you when you're ready for the next question.
Victoria Volk: The next reflection question is what might get in the way How might you start? All three of these steps give you a better picture as to where you are today, and where you would like to be, and helping you see what you can do for yourself and supporting yourself in your grief. These are action steps that you can take looking at where you need support and then finding that support. It might mean working with someone like me if it's your mental and emotional well-being that isn't where you want it to be, which actually will affect every other area of your life as well because if we are emotionally bogged down. Are we necessarily gonna feel like getting physical, like moving our body and things like that? Are we going to feel like living our life going into the day-to-day with vibrancy and enthusiasm?
Victoria Volk: So I would argue that mental and emotional well-being is one of the most important and actually these other two categories, the physical well-being and the day-to-day aspect of life will actually improve once the mental and emotional are addressed. I want you to picture a circle, a small circle, like the size of a marble. And inside that marble is you. You're the marble. And around that marble around you, is your mindful awareness. And around that are eight other circles. Each circle representing what we just discussed, moving the body, which is energy and flexibility, surroundings, physical and emotional, personal development, your personal and work life, food and drink, nourishing, and fueling, recharge, sleep and refresh, family, friends and coworkers, which are our relationships, spirit and soul, which is growing and connecting, power of the mind, which is about relaxing and healing. All of these are circling around you. And then there's another circle around all of that. It's the conventional and complementary approaches prevention, and treatment.
It's the outside resources that you utilize to contribute to your whole health. And then around that, all around surrounding that is your community.
Victoria Volk: So if you're feeling isolated, or you're isolating yourself in your grief or in the challenges that you're experiencing in your life. I encourage you to reach out to a community of like-minded people who may be struggling with the same things as you, and reaching out, asking for help, seeking the resources and support that you need that will help you to get to where you want to be. And so often, we just don't know where to start.
Victoria Volk: So I hope this exercise was helpful for you to realize and show you where you might need to start. Because you ought to start somewhere. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you share this. Come back to it whenever you need. And check-in with yourself again, do this in a few months, and see where your numbers are at. And until then, Remember, when you unleash your heart, you unleash your life. Much love.