CW: Mentions of DV, Assault, Body Shaming EMDR is going to be very, very hard for me to do. And I know I can f*cking do it. This is what trauma does, though. It breaks you into pieces. I needed to let myself break, instead of absorbing it all and eroding slowly into dust. And I can put myself back together, perfectly imperfect. This is The Art of Falling Apart. Four years ago, during the first year of the pandemic, I became a victim of intimate partner violence. In order to survive and cope with...
May 02, 2024•45 min
Content Warning: Discussion of Self H*rm Behaviorism is a scientific approach in psychology that focuses on the study of observable behaviors rather than people’s internal mental processes. The reason it's good to consider Behaviorism when learning about Interpersonal Effectiveness, is because it's helpful for us to understand how to reinforce the behaviour we want to see in ourselves and in others, and to make sure we're conscious of the ways we might be reinforcing unwanted behaviours without ...
Apr 09, 2024•32 min
In Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), the fourth and final module - known as Interpersonal Effectiveness - teaches you skills to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and maintain relationships while achieving your personal goals. Many people with BPD have a tendency to think in polarized ways, referred to as black and white thinking, or “splitting”, in the sense that you’re split right down the middle and can only think on one side or the other - no in-between. In our relationships, we oft...
Mar 26, 2024•21 min
In Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), the fourth and final module - known as Interpersonal Effectiveness - teaches you skills to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and maintain relationships while achieving your personal goals. In this week of TheraHive's course, we'll go over two DBT tools: FAST, and The Dime Game. FAST is a skill you can use in an interaction where your self-respect should be prioritized. It stands for Fair; Apology-Free; Stick to your values; Truthful. The Dime Game i...
Mar 19, 2024•34 min
In Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), the fourth and final module - known as Interpersonal Effectiveness - teaches you skills to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and maintain relationships while achieving your personal goals. A lot of times, it’s not what you say that can be effective, it’s HOW you say it. The GIVE skill stands for: Gentle, Interested, Validate, and Easy Manner. The GIVE skill in DBT is all about the Relationship Effectiveness objective when it comes to interpersonal s...
Mar 12, 2024•28 min
In Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), the fourth and final module - known as Interpersonal Effectiveness - teaches you skills to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and maintain relationships while achieving your personal goals. This week, TheraHive’s Interpersonal Effectiveness course is gonna teach me about the DEARMAN skill, which is one of my personal favourite skills. I’m REALLY excited to share my experiences with this part of the course. DEARMAN is an acronym that stands for Descri...
Mar 07, 2024•33 min
In Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), the fourth and final module - known as Interpersonal Effectiveness - teaches you skills to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and maintain relationships while achieving your personal goals. This is my favourite module by far with DBT because it’s helped me significantly with conflict resolution, and empowered me to ask for my needs without feeling guilty, without letting my emotions make things worse, and without burning bridges. Back in Season 1, I ...
Feb 28, 2024•18 min
At its core, validation is communicating to someone that their internal experiences and emotions make sense. Dr. Kiki Fehling, PhD, (she/her) has always been a highly sensitive person. When she learned about DBT, it just clicked for her: "the practical coping skills... the focus on cultural and contextual factors in understanding emotional suffering, and the dialectical philosophy that both acceptance and change are needed for emotional health." Kiki's content on TikTok and Instagram clicked for...
Feb 07, 2024•48 min
In a culture that markets caring for ourselves as bubble baths and expensive spa days, Laura Hughes (she/her) takes a realistic and innovative approach to putting ourselves first. With a teaching background and a passion for equity and inclusion, Laura built Self-Care With Laur to teach manageable and meaningful self-care, help you prioritize yourself, and guide you to break free from busyness and burnout to create a balanced life. Self Care with Laur: Website | Instagram | TikTok [ m e n t i o ...
Jan 30, 2024•48 min
Content Advisory: mentions of DV, genoc*de At the end of each year, I place a theme on it and reflect before going into the new year. 2023 was a year that taught me gratitude and humility. I have never posted an unedited voice note, but I am a strong believer in authenticity, of openness, and of real talks. Turns out I like doing voice notes. :) I am grateful to be healing. I am grateful to be able to create. I am grateful for you to let me in to your own journey. Thank you <3 [ l i n k s ] B...
Jan 24, 2024•28 min
Emotions are a fundamental part of the human experience, but sometimes they can become overwhelming and challenging to navigate. DBT's Mindfulness of Current Emotions skill provides a structured approach to understanding, accepting, and effectively managing your emotions. Mindfulness of Current Emotions Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions Emotions in the Body - (2013 Study) [ s o c i a l s ] Need a DBT Skill? DBT Pocket Guide Join the community on Discord: The Quiet BPD Keep is a recovery-focused commu...
Nov 07, 2023•10 min
Mindfulness isn't just about calming the mind; it's also about connecting with your body and the present moment. The Body Scan technique is a powerful way to do just that. The essence of the Body Scan is in its sensory awareness. Understand how to notice and accept bodily sensations without judgment or the need to change them. Need a DBT Skill? DBT Pocket Guide Join the community on Discord: The Quiet BPD Keep is a recovery-focused community that offers daily affirmations, tarot readings, self-c...
Oct 31, 2023•4 min
Mindfulness is a powerful tool for navigating your emotions with grace and compassion. Tara Brach's RAIN method is a simple yet deeply effective approach that can help you break free from patterns of suffering, self-judgment, and reactivity. In this mindful moment, we'll explore the four steps of RAIN and I'll guide you through it so that you can experience its benefits. More on The RAIN method: www.tarabrach.com/rain/ Need a DBT Skill? DBT Pocket Guide Join the community on Discord: The Quiet B...
Oct 24, 2023•5 min
Content Warning: Discussion of Coping with Emotions after DV, ~21:30-27:30 When you’re starting off on your path to navigating your emotional landscape, compare it to preparing for a hike. Looking at a map of the terrain can be really helpful and even proactive, so you generally know what to expect when you embark, and you’re not just setting off into unknown territory. In this episode, we'll chat about: What are primary and secondary emotions? How do emotions typically show up in our bodies? Ho...
Aug 29, 2023•48 min
Imagine yourself as a wayfarer, looking to embark on a journey through an emotional inner landscape. As people with BPD, we often feel lost, and for many of us, we begin our journey after being in the depths of despair, where the path ahead of us is shrouded in mist, making us uncertain of our next steps. Imagine emotions as points on a compass, representing different feelings like joy, sadness, anger, and fear. People who have a high level of emotional awareness can navigate this emotional land...
Aug 22, 2023•47 min
Content Warning: Substance Abuse, Su*cidal Ideation, Mentions of Abuse After a long and challenging battle with addiction, Molly (they/them) has reached a major milestone: one year of sobriety. Throughout their journey, they’ve discovered a profound truth: the importance of feeling in order to heal. For years, drugs had become a means to suppress their difficult emotions. After making the choice to take back their autonomy, and never giving up on that choice, Molly has cultivated a fulfilling li...
Aug 15, 2023•52 min
Jennifer McDonough (she/her) is a force to be reckoned with. In just two years as a content creator, she has amassed hundreds of thousands of followers collectively on Instagram and TikTok as @thickabodcranebpd, posting authentic and raw content about her struggles with BPD, parenting, and grief. She is unapologetically herself - and this is why I was so delighted to be able to speak with her about her recovery journey. In this episode, Jen and I get to chat about: How does anger show up for us ...
Aug 08, 2023•47 min
Content Warning: Su*cidal Ideation, Substance Abuse, Violence/Assault With his larger-than-life personality, Luciano has amassed over 120k+ followers on TikTok and Instagram from speaking about his experiences with BPD. But what really sets him apart is his unique way of coping with his BPD: by making creative videos that showcase his goofy side, and bring levity to our struggles. If you've ever come across his page, you'll recognize him immediately by his infectious smile. In this episode, we g...
Aug 01, 2023•52 min
When you get a diagnosis of BPD, at whatever stage in life you’re at, it can be really confusing. It can feel hopeless. It can feel scary. There are a lot of new things you’re gonna learn about yourself that you gotta navigate. On one hand, it’s a hard reality to accept. On the other hand, it can feel empowering to many of us, it can feel freeing, it can feel like something has been unlocked for us. The power that exists in knowing that you’re not alone, is so, so real. And we can use this power...
Jul 25, 2023•55 min
Content Warning: Discussions about Abuse Micaela Kelly (she/her) is known for her BPD content under the handle @bpdrelatable, and that really says it all - Since 2021, she's cultivated a massive recovery focused community across TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook by creating insightful content about her experiences with BPD. Mic has a unique talent for articulating her experiences in a way that so many of us can relate to. Mic and I are good friends and we're delighted to be able to have you join u...
Jul 18, 2023•46 min
Content Warning: Eating Disorders, Fatphobia, Brief mentions of Suicide In Memory of Cerys Lupton-Jones. Please consider donating to BEAT (UK) in Cerys' name. Canada: EDFC | United States: Project HEAL Andy Kretschmer (she/they) is a Licensed Social Worker in Ohio, and their expertise goes beyond professional knowledge. They have personally experienced the challenges of eating disorders, and emerged with a fierce determination to understand and assist others facing similar struggles. Andy's rese...
Jul 11, 2023•54 min
Who puts the B in BPD? Bianca McIntyre, a therapist who not only has personal experience with BPD but also dedicates her work to helping patients with personality disorders. She focuses on challenging some long-held beliefs about the treatment of personality disorders, and advocates for a more compassionate and validating approach that puts the human element front and center. Many people with BPD face stigma directly from mental health professionals, and people like Bianca aim to change the narr...
Jul 04, 2023•49 min
Identity Disturbance had me conforming to what society kept telling me I should be. At one point in my healing journey, I was ready to think really hard about how true to myself I was being, and I realized I was not. I found that there were lots of people out there with the same experiences as me, and that there was a name for that. There are words for that experience. And those words for me, are queer and nonbinary. In this episode, I'll chat with you about: What is Identity Disturbance and wha...
Jun 27, 2023•45 min
Content Advisory: Brief mention of suicidal ideation Dr. Jesse Finkelstein (he/him) has been on his own non-linear journey to find his purpose. He is a graphic designer, an illustrator, a game designer, a co-founder... And as of April 2023, he is now a clinical psychologist and DBT therapist. On his path, he has found so much freedom in being able to accept his emotions. To feel everything fully. DBT is not meant to make people feel like they have to ignore, to numb, to silence their emotions. I...
Jun 20, 2023•45 min
Can we find a balance when it comes to attachment where we don’t completely lose ourselves in a relationship? Lena Nicodemus, LMFT (she/they), is dedicated to showing others with BPD that we can . I still have a lot to learn about breaking out of relationship patterns and I felt a lot better after talking to Lena. In this episode, Lena and I got to chat about: Breaking patterns of unhealthy forms of attachment What is it like to have a partner with secure attachment? Forming your own sense of pe...
May 23, 2023•44 min
Content Advisory: Strong Language, Discussion of abuse, brief mention of SH As people with BPD, we are born with a genetic predisposition to emotional vulnerability. On top of that, growing up in an invalidating environment can foster this mental health condition, where our trauma responses become invasive and maladaptive. But what does it mean for an environment to be invalidating? How can we learn to validate ourselves? And how can our loved ones learn to validate and express compassion to us ...
May 16, 2023•58 min
Content Advisory: Discussion of SI International Crisis Helplines Dr. Juliette McClendon (they/them) is a clinical psychologist trained at Harvard and Washington University. They are an expert in the delivery of evidence-based, scalable, culturally-responsive mental healthcare, and I’m pleased to have them on to offer their clinical perspective on the development, assessment, and treatment of BPD. In this episode, Jules and I discuss these topics: Is BPD nature, or nurture? What is the biosocial...
May 09, 2023•51 min
Content Advisory: Brief mentions of SH, SI, DV Hi there. I'm Avery, and I live with quiet BPD. In this episode, I'll answer these questions for you: How was I diagnosed? How did it feel to receive a diagnosis? How did my journey start? What is Borderline Personality Disorder? What are BPD subtypes? What is quiet BPD? What are some common experiences of quiet BPD? How have I found ways to cope on my healing journey? What are some myths about quiet BPD? Is there such a thing as classic, or loud BP...
May 02, 2023•47 min
Can people with BPD recover? Do we ever heal? The short answer: Yes. We can, and we do. Quiet, Not Silent is a podcast dedicated to exploring recovery while living with various presentations of Borderline Personality Disorder. My name is Avery (they/she), and I live with quiet subtype BPD. Together, we're gonna get to casually explore topics like: BPD subtypes, dissociation, chronic emptiness, internalized shame, people-pleasing, splitting, recovery journeys, self love, self compassion, coping s...
Apr 09, 2023•5 min
