The Queer community, as much as I love it and my passion is in supporting the community, has its issues that need to be fixed. At the end of the day, no community is perfect but we have allowed our personal insecurities to impact how we treat each other within the community. I can speak for myself when I say, I have DEFINITELY curved my personality in certain social settings to try and fit in. The need for acceptance, love, and validation was so strong that in my desire to be accepted, I lost my...
Jan 19, 2024•15 min•Ep 53•Transcript available on Metacast Are you emotionally bankrupt? To find out, let's explore what emotional currency actually means and how it is applicable to you! 1. Understanding Emotional Currency: Emotional currency refers to the resources we invest in our relationships, like time, affection, trust, and support. It involves both giving and receiving, creating a dynamic exchange that sustains the health and vitality of our connections and just like financial currency, emotional currency requires a balance between giving an...
Jan 15, 2024•17 min•Ep 52•Transcript available on Metacast Let's talk about some of the most common masks I have found people wear. 1. The Mask of Perfection: Society often imposes unrealistic standards of perfection upon us, making us to believe that we must present ourselves as flawless. This mask convinces us that revealing our flaws will result in rejection and judgment. When you finally decide to explore your sexuality, the truth is the queer community can be hyper-critical ourselves. We dont only receive judgement from outside the community, w...
Jan 08, 2024•19 min•Ep 50•Transcript available on Metacast Your mindset plays a significant role in your dating experiences and the quality of your relationships. So, what is possibly keeping you single? 1. Limiting Beliefs and Self-Sabotage: a. Negative Self-Talk: Our internal dialogue shapes our self-perception. If you constantly criticize yourself, doubt your worth, or believe you're undeserving of love, these limiting beliefs can manifest in your dating life. Recognize negative self-talk patterns and challenge them with positive affirmations and...
Jan 05, 2024•26 min•Ep 49•Transcript available on Metacast For a lot of you, this represents laziness, lack of goals, complacency, immaturity, etc. Did you ever stop to think the decision to stay home was a conscious decision that was rooted in effective future planning? Maybe it is based on cultural beliefs? Or maybe he is a caretaker for an aging or ill parent? Here are some possible reasons: 1. Financial Considerations: One of the primary reasons individuals in their 30s may continue living with their parents is financial stability. Factors such as s...
Jan 01, 2024•26 min•Ep 48•Transcript available on Metacast Sexuality and the exploration of sexuality is at the CORE of queer culture and our individual/collective experiences within that culture. As a love and self-esteem coach, I am a HUGE proponent of exploring your sexuality and becoming comfortable in your own skin, but we also can't deny that sex can have its issues as well. I have worked with many men who struggled to see the differences between sex positivity and sex enabling. Although they may not seem all that different, they are. It's...
Dec 29, 2023•22 min•Ep 47•Transcript available on Metacast In today's society, the influence of drinking culture on relationships is undeniable. While alcohol can enhance social experiences, it can also have detrimental effects on romantic partnerships. So let's talk about the impact of drinking culture on relationships. I think it's important that we look at the role that alcohol has played on queer culture. a.Celebration and Community: Alcohol has acted as a tool for celebration and fostering a sense of community. Bars and clubs have histo...
Dec 25, 2023•14 min•Ep 46•Transcript available on Metacast Vulnerability is the willingness to be emotionally open, honest, and transparent. It is the act of sharing your thoughts, feelings, and fears with another person without fearing judgment or rejection. Vulnerability is often associated with weakness, but in reality, it is a sign of strength. It takes courage to expose your innermost self to others, especially when you have been hurt in the past. Let's talk about the benefits: 1.Improved Relationships When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, ...
Dec 18, 2023•18 min•Ep 44•Transcript available on Metacast What is Detachment? Detachment is the ability to distance yourself emotionally from a situation or person in order to gain perspective, maintain boundaries, and protect yourself. This can be especially important in relationships where boundaries have been crossed, emotional wounds have been inflicted, or the relationship has become toxic. Detachment is not the same as disconnection, it is simply a way of creating emotional space to reassess the situation. Healthy detachment means recognizing the...
Dec 15, 2023•23 min•Ep 43•Transcript available on Metacast People who are TRULY narcissists are focuses on maintaining control at whatever cost. They will break you down emotionally and mentally over time and will manipulate every situation so that you come to believe YOU are at fault and they are the victims. So, how to you identify a narcissist? It can be very hard in the beginning because their controlling behavior might appear as self-confidence or genuine concern for your wellbeing, but her are 5 common traits and behaviors that you should be on th...
Dec 11, 2023•14 min•Ep 42•Transcript available on Metacast Infatuation is characterized by an intense attraction to another person, often based on physical appearance or other superficial qualities. Infatuation can be intoxicating, exhilarating, and it feels like you're getting hit by a million different emotions all at once. It's the 0-100 approach of dating and is usually pretty short lived. Most relationships that are infatuation last anywhere between a few weeks to four months. Love, on the other hand, is a deep and lasting emotional connect...
Dec 08, 2023•21 min•Ep 41•Transcript available on Metacast While hookup culture may be enticing or exciting to some of you, it can negatively impact your ability to find a long-term, fulfilling relationship. We've all been there, at least I have and I believe I speak for a majority of men that identify as queer: hookup culture is almost a right of passage. Even if you are someone who initially is not into hookup culture, a lot of people approach dating very casually due to " lack of commitment oriented men. " So, even if you find someone y...
Dec 04, 2023•17 min•Ep 40•Transcript available on Metacast As a love and self-esteem coach, I have seen many men fall for the "bad boy" stereotype in relationships. The allure of the bad boy can be strong, but it often leads to heartbreak and disappointment. I work with clients who REALLY struggle with picking the "healthy" guy because they are "boring or too predictable." I understand this in the sense of wanting excitement and adventure in your relationship but it usually raises a red flag for me. The question I ask my cl...
Nov 24, 2023•21 min•Ep 37•Transcript available on Metacast Often, because many of us have been ousted by family we create a family of our own a chosen family. What does that mean? We are more protective of the family we have chosen because of our negative experiences coming out we become more "defensive" or "protective" of that chosen family. We also cant deny that as queer men, we're a little more sassy and sarcastic. Thats not the case for everyone, but a majority of us have developed a sense of humor to protect against critici...
Nov 20, 2023•20 min•Ep 36•Transcript available on Metacast Unfortunately, fake profiles comes with the territory of online dating it's unavoidable. The important thing to keep in mind is personal safety. If at any point you do not feel comfortable or safe, do what you need to do to prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical health. So, what do you do if your date doesnt look like his profile photo? Here are 3 things to keep in mind: 1. Don't React Negatively It's natural to feel disappointed if someone looks nothing like their dating pr...
Nov 17, 2023•17 min•Transcript available on Metacast Often, there is a fear when meeting your partners parents due to the desire to be accepted. As someone who identifies as queer, you are probably all too familiar with rejection, invalidation, discrimination, stereotyping, and overall judgment. I have found that a lot of that comes from "authority figures" or "peers" which contributes to negative self-image and the desire to win the respect and admiration of people we dont even know! If you had a negative experience coming out...
Nov 13, 2023•20 min•Ep 34•Transcript available on Metacast If you've found yourself on the merry-go-round of dating and just want to get the FUCK off of it, its important that you ask yourself 3 VERY important questions: Who am I? So often, I found that when things aren't working out for people in their dating life, they look outward. What do I mean? Here are some examples of what I hear: Everyone is just looking for a hookup. The men out there are all shit. All these boys are immature. It's not me! It's them. How is your potential partn...
Nov 06, 2023•17 min•Ep 32•Transcript available on Metacast Boundaries are incredibly important in any healthy relationship! If you struggle to set boundaries or to understand what they are, here are 3 that should be implemented in yours! 1. Physical Boundaries Physical boundaries are essential in any relationship, whether it is a romantic or platonic one. In the queer community, particularly amongst gay and bisexual men, the sexual boundaries are constantly being pushed. It is important that you are aware of what your limitations are and communicate tho...
Nov 03, 2023•20 min•Ep 31•Transcript available on Metacast So what are the 3 perfect date ideas? Lust: This date should be one where you attempt to trigger the lust hormones. Lust is an incredibly powerful feeling that is driven by the desire for sexual gratification. From an evolutionary standpoint, it is rooted in our need to procreate. Now, get two men who have that primal urge and are attracted to one another and what to you get? Hookup culture. I want to be clear because I have mentioned this many times before, I HIGHLY recommend not sleeping toget...
Oct 30, 2023•20 min•Ep 30•Transcript available on Metacast Differentiating between red flags and pet peeves is VERY important. For me, a red flag is a behavior, character trait, or belief that does not align with your core values or realistic expectations and therefore, would result in a toxic dynamic. Here are the TOP 4 Red Flags that I look out for in a relationship: 1. Lack of Communication Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and you to be able to talk openly and honestly with your partner. However, when one partner consisten...
Oct 27, 2023•24 min•Ep 29•Transcript available on Metacast Here are the top 5 ways to become more secure with yourself, intern, becoming more secure in your relationship! 1. Practice Vulnerability Here is a good exercise to start practicing vulnerability: share your thoughts and feelings with your partner in small ways. For example, you might express your gratitude for something they did or share a personal story from your childhood. As you become more comfortable with it, you can slowly increase the depth and intensity of the information you are sharin...
Oct 20, 2023•18 min•Ep 27•Transcript available on Metacast The "perfect person," does not exist. I know this sounds harsh, but it is the reality. So often, I hear this, "the perfect person is out there somewhere!" or "you haven't allowed your perfect match to find you because your wasting your time with these losers." Again, this is a false narrative that you have allowed yourself to believe. Granted, there are a lot of people out there who will waste your time, so setting personal boundaries is going to be very importa...
Sep 15, 2023•21 min•Ep 17•Transcript available on Metacast Are you sick and tired of feeling like you aren't matching with anyone who has the same visions of a relationship as you do? Dating in the modern world can be VERY disappointing if you are not utilizing the proper channels, resources, or techniques. In this episode, I will go over dating apps, dating culture, and offer some tips and tricks to help you on your dating journey! Let's have a chat!
Aug 31, 2023•17 min•Ep 16•Transcript available on Metacast As a love and self-esteem coach, I have worked with many people who have experienced infidelity. In my experience, the focus and emphasis is on the person you was cheated on, however, cheating is a symptom of the disease... not the disease itself. Therefore, it is likely there were issues within the relationship that lead to the infidelity and it is important to unpack it from BOTH sides. The episode is for anyone who has cheated and is wanting tools/resources to repair, reconcile, ensure it nev...
Aug 18, 2023•13 min•Ep 15•Transcript available on Metacast Getting to the root of infidelity requires very open, honest, and candid conversation with your partner and yourself. Whether you are trying to heal and move on or reconcile the relationship, understand that it will be hard. There will be days that are harder than others but over time, the tough days will become less & less. I wanted to provide you with some resources and tools to help you on this journey. Let's have chat. If you need 1:1 coaching or support, feel free to visit my websit...
Aug 11, 2023•17 min•Ep 14•Transcript available on Metacast Navigating infidelity in your relationship is incredibly difficult. As a love & self-esteem coach that works with the LGBTQ+ community, I have seen infidelity plague countless relationships. It is your decision whether you want to walk away from the relationship and allow yourself to heal or if you want to stay and fight. Either way, the decision is yours and it will require some guidance and support to ensure you are doing it in a healthy way. If this is you, let's have a chat! If you n...
Aug 05, 2023•16 min•Ep 13•Transcript available on Metacast As a self-esteem and love coach, I have come across many couples that have STRUGGLED to communicate in their relationship. The problem is, communication isn't the sexiest topic, therefore, most people don't prioritize learning how to do it the RIGHT way. The reality is, most relationships fail because of communication issues. If you are currently experiencing communication issues or have experienced them in the past and want to learn how to become an expert, stay tuned! Let's have a ...
Jul 26, 2023•14 min•Ep 12•Transcript available on Metacast Fetishes can be taboo sometimes, but it's important to embrace your sexuality and not be judged for expressing yourself! As a self-esteem & love coach, I have worked with many individuals and couples who were scared to share their kinks or fetishes with their partner for the fear of judgment, criticism, or even worse yet... disgust. The key to any healthy relationship is the ability to be authentically you, share mutual respect, and have open communication about vulnerable topics. If you...
Jul 19, 2023•14 min•Ep 11•Transcript available on Metacast Being Bisexual can be a challenge within the queer community. Unfortunately, a lot of us that identify as bisexual have experienced identity invalidation, discrimination, criticism, etc. The most common remarks I hear and my clients have heard are: 1. You're gay, you just aren't comfortable fully coming out yet. 2. You're just seeking attention. 3. You're selfish. You can't have both. 4. You're not a real man if you sleep with other men. How would a woman ever accept that...
Jul 12, 2023•21 min•Ep 10•Transcript available on Metacast It can be incredibly difficult to be in a relationship with someone who is not "out of the closet" yet. Often, you feel like their dirty little secret which can lead to a lot of issues within the relationship and internal conflict within yourself. As a self-esteem and relationship coach, I often find that this results in heightened insecurities, self-doubt, and a breakdown of self-confidence. There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship with someone who isn't out of the clos...
Jul 05, 2023•16 min•Ep 9•Transcript available on Metacast 
