Ep.36 | Are Gay Men Bullies?

Deep Penetration | Gay and Bisexual Advice

Nov 20, 2023•20 min•Ep 36•Transcript available on Metacast

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Episode description

Often, because many of us have been ousted by family we create a family of our own… a chosen family. What does that mean? We are more protective of the family we have chosen because of our negative experiences coming out… we become more "defensive" or "protective" of that chosen family. We also cant deny that as queer men, we're a little more sassy and sarcastic. That’s not the case for everyone, but a majority of us have developed a sense of humor to protect against criticism or judgement. Therefore, when someone new is introduced to the group there is almost this hazing process that occurs.

As I have mentioned many times before, we experience a lot of rejection and therefore, there is a need that develops over time to be accepted and loved by any means necessary. If you had a bad experience coming out to your family, you probably prioritize and rely heavily on your chosen family for support. We all want to be accepted, therefore, trying to impress your partners friends can be an incredibly daunting task. Here are 3 ways to win them over!

1. Show Genuine Interest and Respect

One of the best ways to win over your partner's overprotective friends is to show genuine interest and respect. Take the time to get to know them, ask about their interests and hobbies, and listen actively when they speak. Show them that you value their opinions and that you're interested in building a relationship with them.

So often, we are quick to get on the defensive because we feel the need to protect ourselves. I understand why you would feel the need to do so, but if you stop and think about it… you are validating for that person why you cant be trusted. If you managed to keep your cool and talk things out in a respectful and compassionate way, you will gain their respect MUCH faster. Granted if they are being blatantly rude, condescending, or aggressive… THAT is a different story. At that point, I would recommend setting some very firm boundaries and communicating your discontent of their treatment towards you.

2. Be Open and Honest

Another way to win over overprotective friends is to be open and honest. Share your feelings and thoughts with them, and be transparent about your intentions. Let them know that you value their friendship with your partner and that you're not interested in causing any harm.

3. Show Your Commitment

Finally, showing your commitment to your partner and to the relationship can go a long way in winning over overprotective friends. Show them that you're serious about your partner and that you're committed to building a healthy and loving relationship. Make an effort to spend time with them, and show them that you respect their relationship with your partner.

Actions speak louder than words, so make sure to follow through on any promises or commitments you make. Show them that you're willing to put in the effort and time to build a relationship with them, and that you're not just interested in a short-term fling.

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Intro