Episode description
Often, there is a fear when meeting your partners parents due to the desire to be accepted. As someone who identifies as queer, you are probably all too familiar with rejection, invalidation, discrimination, stereotyping, and overall judgment. I have found that a lot of that comes from "authority figures" or "peers" which contributes to negative self-image and the desire to win the respect and admiration of people we don’t even know!
If you had a negative experience coming out to your parents, family, or friends. it is likely you will have anxiety around meeting your partners parents. I always recommend taking a step-back and reflecting on your emotions before the "big day." If you are feeling triggered, dig in a little and try to discover the why. If you have not dealt with your own personal traumas, it is important that you are at least aware of them so that you are not leading with emotion.
1. Don't Be Disrespectful
It's important to be respectful when meeting your partner's parents. This means being polite, showing good manners, and treating them with respect. Avoid using foul language or making rude jokes, even if your partner's parents seem to be okay with it. Remember that you're meeting them for the first time, and you want to make a good impression.
It's also important to avoid talking about controversial topics, such as politics or religion, especially if you know that your views are different from your partner's parents.
2. Don't Be Too Touchy-Feely
While it's natural to want to show affection towards your partner, it's important to be mindful of your actions when meeting their parents. Avoid being too touchy-feely, such as kissing or hugging your partner excessively in front of their parents. This can make them uncomfortable and may give them the wrong impression of you.
3. Don't Try Too Hard to Impress
It's natural to want to make a good impression when meeting your partner's parents, but it's important to be authentic and true to yourself. Don't try too hard to impress them by pretending to be someone you're not, or by exaggerating your accomplishments or qualities. I have seen this situation play put too many times and it usually does not end well. If you pretend to be something you're not, it will be very difficult to keep the façade going long-term.
Instead of trying to impress them, focus on being kind, respectful, and interested in getting to know them. Ask questions about their lives and hobbies, and be genuinely curious about their experiences and perspectives.
Meeting your partner's parents can be a challenging experience, but by avoiding these three things, you can create a positive and respectful impression. Remember to be respectful, mindful of your actions, and true to yourself. Don't try too hard to impress them, but instead focus on being kind and genuinely interested in getting to know them. By doing so, you can create a healthy and fulfilling relationship, where both partners feel valued and respected.
Chapters:
Intro
00:01
Take a step back and reflect on your emotions before the big day
02:45
Don't be disrespectful
08:01
Don't be overly affectionate with your partner in front of his parent's
13:29
Don't try too hard to impress his parents. Just be you!
16:01
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