In episode 240 we dive deep into the common issue of 'roommate syndrome' in marriages. Bryan addresses the fading spark that many couples experience after years of being together. He explores whether it's possible to rekindle a marriage and offers practical steps to reignite the passion. Bryan discusses the importance of honesty—not just factual, but emotional honesty—and how to communicate effectively without overwhelming your partner. He emphasizes the need for thoughtful gestures, such as wri...
Aug 29, 2024•36 min•Ep. 240
Marriage is an adventure. If you don’t look at it as such then you run the risk of falling into a deep pit much like I did with Pitfall Harry . Marriage is not easy and in the early days can be wrought with lots of emotions and struggles. This is why so many marriages fail before reaching the 10-year mark. You first struggle with the idiosyncracies of the girl you dated. You noticed odd things you at first thought were cute habits of her being weird but now you are questioning if you can put wit...
Aug 22, 2024•36 min•Ep. 239
Many times we will inadvertantly elevate someone to a higher level of status than we wanted to. I had something happen here recently that caused me to realize that I had actually elevated a man to an unheard of level of integrity. Then when he showed me that he didn’t believe all that he stated. To say the least, I had thoughts that I was betrayed, and he had sold out to the Woke mind virus. I wanted to set my heels and almost punish him for violating, my standards, by keeping the proof that he ...
Aug 15, 2024•26 min•Ep. 238
When we have topics of discussion with other people there are times that we may mess up and we start to say words that we don't mean and try to intentionally inflict pain upon the other person. We just are caught up in our emotions and trying to inflict pain on each other. When we are actively trying to destroy the trust and connection we have, the hope of having a better connection is gone. We fall into victim mindsets and fight because we see the conflict at hand being a matter of life or deat...
Aug 08, 2024•23 min•Ep. 237
Bryan recounts how he had been neglecting to mow his lawn in his small town. He previously had someone mowing it for him, but that arrangement fell through. The city eventually sent a notice about his overgrown lawn, and his wife was told it would cost $400 to have the city mow it. Bryan initially reacted with anger and fell into a victim mindset. As he reflects on the situation, Bryan realizes he is making excuses and playing the victim. He acknowledges that he hadn't been trying hard to find a...
Jul 25, 2024•30 min•Ep. 236
Why even have a stronger connection? Better conflict resolution - You will have conflicts and those conflicts can be making or breaking points for your relationship. More trust - When you both know you will not take everything said personally then the trust starts to form. More intimacy -Us guys do like our sexy time Better connections It is not personal, it is just someone sharing what they are thinking with the other person. It isn't real it is just a thought. Thoughts aren't as scary as you w...
Jul 18, 2024•29 min•Ep. 235
In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host and certified men's coach Brian Goodwin delves into the character of Peter Keating from Ayn Rand's novel, The Fountainhead. Peter Keating epitomizes the 'nice guy' who struggles with self-identity and decision-making, always seeking approval from others rather than living life on his own terms. Brian discusses how Keating's actions and associations lead to his downfall, contrasting him with the novel's protagonist, Howard Roark, who remains steadfast in ...
Jul 04, 2024•37 min•Ep. 234
Clues that your relationship is failing Dreading going home Fighting over little stuff Entertaining the idea of divorce You may be intentionally spending time apart. Little to no sex You are blaming the other person for your unhappiness Lack of TIme Married for the wrong reasons Material Items Looking to the past Ending The Relationship Why you might end the relationship When you have one or more of the three A’s These are the key points that trust falls apart so much that it can destroy any cha...
Jun 27, 2024•39 min•Ep. 233
We go through emotions hourly. Those emotions correlate with the different thoughts that we have. It is said that we have around 60,000 thoughts a day. That means that we have around 60,000 emotions a day. Now incorporate the 50-50 principle and you have half of your thoughts are gonna be good thoughts because they generate good emotions and the other half are gonna be bad thoughts that generate bad emotions. Many many times we struggle with negative emotions . We avoid those negative emotions. ...
Jun 20, 2024•29 min•Ep. 232
If you want to have a better relationship you have to improve yourself. How are you going to help inspire those around you to be better people if you aren’t willing to improve yourself? We all have the ability to influence those who are around us. Jim Rohn said it best. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So it stands to reason that those people will also have you as part of their average. When it comes to our relationships, being able to improve ourselves is cru...
Jun 13, 2024•33 min•Ep. 231
We all experience pain at one time or another. Pain can be a physical sensation from a Papercut or it could be from an emotion. The pain that I am talking about today is emotional pain. The feeling that we get from the emotions that we don’t like. Emotions, for instance, powerlessness, frustration, fear, uncertainty, insecurity, humiliation, lost, are often viewed as painful and are often avoided. These emotions and more similar to them are unpleasant to experience. Often when we feel these emot...
Jun 06, 2024•31 min•Ep. 230
Any question leading to sex. Why We struggle with talking about sex It requires you to be vulnerable We take complaints personally We have biases Isn't sex supposed to just happen and always be good? Or you can't have sex like that! Pushback is a threat to our beliefs We make sex mean something Why are these most intimate topics so difficult for us to talk about? Especially, when it is with the one person we are supposed to be able to openly and freely talk to. What is holding us back from askin...
May 30, 2024•33 min•Ep. 229
So we have noticed that the lack of intentionality with our significant other has to change. To be able to change you have to know how you arrived in the circumstance you are in now. That is what we are going to be talking about this week. What actions did we take to break our connection? ***Warning*** Don't fall into the victim mindset here. You may want to say, "Well, she doesn't try either." "She started it" "She is just cold" "She never liked the marriage to start" or any other excuses. even...
May 23, 2024•42 min•Ep. 228
After 10 to 20 years of marriage, you may notice that the roommate syndrome has crept in and has set up Shop right in your bedroom. You may be noticing that there are a lot of things that are just kind of normal. Maybe you think that’s how things just are. However, this stuff can change. The connection that you are used to hasn't gone it’s just not being used. Your emotional connections are a lot like a muscle and you have to exercise it to keep it strong. When we have that strong connection in ...
May 16, 2024•41 min•Ep. 227
You may have heard me talk about how our minds are like computers . You get out what you put in. There are many instances of this from getting respect you have to first give respect. If you want peace in your life you have to first give peace. Our Bodies are also like that Are you in shape or are you an example of soft living? Do you eat nothing but vegetables or are you an omnivour? Do you exercise? Do you lift heavy objects and throw them around your yard? What you are doing and how you feel h...
May 02, 2024•24 min•Ep. 226
With much of life, we can either float down the river of life or we can steer our life to where we want to go. The difference is that when we use intention we get closer to where we want to go sooner than if we just drift. Lack of intention is where you hope you arrive at your desired destination. You are just going through life and often unintentional people come across as if they are asleep and don't put much thought into why they are doing what they are doing. They often will find these peopl...
Apr 25, 2024•21 min•Ep. 225
In relationships, we often will slide into a form of comfort routine that is called the Roommate Syndrome The Roommate Syndrome Where sparks go to smolder. Why does this happen? past disagreements It is easier Rejection free How to rekindle the spark Know what the roommate syndrome is about. Start with the end in mind Much like the word rekindle you have to use kindling Kindling is a small flammable material that you can use to grow an ember into a bonfire. It starts with the small stuff Redisco...
Apr 18, 2024•32 min•Ep. 224
What does the world look like when you are curious Why it is good to get curious You see more out there You see what is possible Better at problem-solving You are more relatable More creative More Fulfilment Strengthens relationships Applying those to your relationships You understand your spouse or friend more You learn and discover more Curiosity helps you to connect even more it deepens the intimacy with your spouse Want to learn how to have more curiosity in your relationships then take the ...
Apr 04, 2024•24 min•Ep. 223
After many years couples often find themselves in a strange predicament. The Sex and closeness fall off and people just sort of exist in the same house. There are lots of thoughts and interpretations of this. The decrease in intimacy has been a problem in marriage since marriages were implemented. Many today believe that the reason for the decrease in intimacy is the institution of marriage. That the very act of committing yourself to another person is why the fire dies down. It can be (See Room...
Mar 28, 2024•46 min•Ep. 222
Men struggle with strong meaningful connections. Many even struggle with just having a relationship. So many men today don't have close relationships or their relationships are just surface-level connections that don't fulfill the purpose of a relationship. We men need relationships and yet we forsake our own needs for a plethora of reasons. So why do we need to have good strong relationships ? Why can't we just hermitize ourselves and just be done with it? Benefits of a good relationship Why ar...
Mar 21, 2024•28 min•Ep. 221
Why do we get participation trophies? Easy bump of Satisfaction Empty victory How are you giving yourself participation trophies? Staying busy for the sake of busy or are you actually taking steps to go forward? Finding other things to do than what needs to be done. Buffering Example watching porn is you taking the participation prixe instead of actually building the connection withyour wife so that you have that much wanted intamacy. How are you taking the participation trophies of life? How ar...
Mar 14, 2024•19 min•Ep. 220
Why do we appear to turn to pain Why do we put ourselves through these ordeals? We overeat Face hangovers Withdrawals We would rather face pain than Find satisfaction Why do we want more pain in our lives? Pain is a better motivator than pleasure. It is too scary to avoid the pain scarcity in our lives Not being intentional Coaching Offer - https://www.relaxedmale.com/coachingoffer Summary In this episode of The Relaxed Male , the host delves into the intriguing topic of pain and its role as a m...
Mar 07, 2024•23 min•Ep. 219
Never stop learning Read listen to podcasts Try new things Follow your curiosity Get out and enjoy the fresh air Go on a quest to find your purpose Do something scary Find a group of noble men to hang out with Porn is not your friend Dating When it comes to dating know what type of girl you want in your life. Yeah, there are the physical attributes but what character traits do you want in your wife? Date with the purpose of marriage Don't rush take a year to get to know her and then a year for t...
Feb 29, 2024•47 min•Ep. 218
This is a special Message for girls who are 12 and up You have the power You have always had power in a relationship you have a purpose You just have to find it. Dont do what society says Society wants to tell you that a powerful woman sleeps with many men No, you have more power than that. Yes you can manipulate men with your breasts and what is between your legs but that is cheating yourself You are not held back by some all-scary patriarchy. First look at what a patriarch is, It is the oldest...
Feb 22, 2024•33 min•Ep. 217
When it comes to talking to each other we often get so much wrong. It isn't because we don't care or don't want to be heard but we simply don't know how to communicate effectively. Our ability to open good solid channels of communication lags behind our ability to talk. The hang-up is the habits we have created when we were growing up. Our thoughts of what the other person is saying. We believe that emotions happen to us and so when someone says something that isn't nice and doesn't feel good, w...
Feb 15, 2024•25 min•Ep. 216
I can't because of my Flaws, limitations, confines, distortions, scars, imperfections, or irregularities So many in society want to help you be OK with your flaw by helping you fight for that flaw. We turn to being a victim of our flaws instead of bettering ourselves because of it. Yet there are a few good powerful questions you could ask yourself. What does this make possible? What can I learn from this limitation? Common Disabilities ADHD - Seen as you not being able to concentrate Introvert D...
Feb 08, 2024•34 min•Ep. 215
Many times we experience the circumstances that are other people's emotions. We people have emotional breakdowns at times. We often get ourselves into trouble for things we have no control over or any effect on if we try to change it. We often will get ourselves into more trouble if we try to change the other person's emotions. What is an emotion? Many people want us to use their manual on how to behave around them, and that works at times but people don't like to be manipulated all the time. Wh...
Feb 01, 2024•42 min•Ep. 214
The Correlation of the withdrawal of dads and The Lack of masculinity In the US, divorce rates more than doubled from 2.2 per 1,000 in 1960 to over 5 per 1,000 in the 1980s. Marriages are decreasing Lack of dads and the increase of anxiety-ridden children Great Society - 1964 The government started taking the place of Fathers in the household and the marriage rates started to decrease in the 80's around 20 years for the new generation to start having kids. Dad's the Disciplinarian Dads the Mento...
Jan 25, 2024•27 min•Ep. 213
I just got off of a 7 day fast of no food or sugar. All I allowed myself was Water, Coffee, and salt. And today I wanted to share what I learned from that experience Why? What many people think fasting is What I experienced My reasons for trying a fast is I wanted to challenge myself. no diet reason No protest reason. no religious reason. Just wanted to see what it was like to fast for 7 days. I wanted to see what my thoughts when in that type of hardship was. I didn't focus on food but I notice...
Jan 18, 2024•37 min•Ep. 212
What is buffering? The avoidance of thoughts and emotions So we have a reason to not try Why do we buffer? So we do not have to face the uncomfortable thoughts and emotions we have Our mind's way of helping us stay small and not be noticed We like to look to the past for reasons to not go forward. We let the past hold us back from the success we could have. Ways we buffer Phrases I have never done this before That is how everyone else has done it before I have seen this before The Old days were ...
Jan 11, 2024•30 min•Ep. 211
