Have you been wrestling over The Clash’s epic line, “Should I stay or should I go?” Yes, this indecision is bugging you! The waffling back and forth, the feeling of uncertainty is the worst. You don’t want to regret -- you want to be 100% confident that breaking up (or staying) is the right decision. In my over 30 years of working with couples, I’ve identified a 5-step process you should be thinking about first if you’re wondering whether you should stay or go. Grab your FREE Figuring Out Your C...
May 25, 2021•45 min•Season 3Ep. 143
When you get a compliment do you say things like: “I just got lucky;” “We did so well on that project because Jane was running it;” “I’m not really a good mom -- I’ve got a lot of help.” Then you may have Imposter Syndrome. Today you’ll learn if you have it and the 5 ways it’s hurting all your relationships. Top Tips for Getting Over Your Imposter Syndrome (scroll down to the bottom and enter your name/email): https://abbymedcalf.com/the-5-ways-imposter-syndrome-is-hurting-all-your-relationships...
May 18, 2021•40 min•Season 3Ep. 142
Being a rescuer will keep you stuck, disconnected and dissatisfied in your relationships. Today you’ll learn my 4 simple steps to stop rescuing so you can start truly connecting and supporting the people in your life. Follow me on Instagram! Join me on Clubhouse: @abbymedcalfphd Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-stop-rescuing-and-start-supporting-2/ I Feel Statement Exercise (scroll down and enter your name and email): https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-stop-rescuing-and-start-supportin...
May 11, 2021•42 min•Season 3Ep. 141
Owning your shit is the key to a happy life because if you don’t own your shit, it’ll own you. If you’re blaming anyone else for anything in your life, it’s keeping you stuck. If you’re focusing on what your partner, boss or dad is doing wrong, it’s keeping you stuck! Today I’m going to teach you the 3 ways you’re neglecting your own emotional needs and how to fix it! Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-own-your-shit-and-stop-blaming-other-people-2/ Blog: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-t...
May 04, 2021•42 min•Season 3Ep. 140
If you often feel worried about a loved one, disappointed or upset by their choices, or like your emotions revolve around whether they’re “doing well” or not, then detaching with love is the key to feeling grounded, guilt-free and at peace. Today I’m going to teach you my 3 steps to loving detachment so stay tuned! Please subscribe and leave a review! Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/3-steps-to-loving-detachment/ Blog: https://abbymedcalf.com/3-steps-to-loving-detachment-2/ Loving Kindnes...
Apr 27, 2021•1 hr 3 min•Season 3Ep. 139
There you are in the problem. “I can’t pay these bills.” “My partner’s driving me crazy.” “I think my boss hates me.” “I need to lose weight.” “I’m lonely.” Because this is a big issue in your life, you think about it often. You speak to anyone who’ll listen. It keeps you up at night as you search for answers. You believe that the way to solve your issue is to fixate on it but that never gives you long-term results and you end up complaining about the same issues over and over! Today I’m going t...
Apr 20, 2021•46 min•Season 3Ep. 138
Talking to someone who’s not listening is like speaking to a drunk person. They can sort of hold a conversation with you, but they’re not really present or engaged, and they’re not going to remember a thing you said tomorrow. Today I’m going to teach you the 5 signs that they’re not listening (so you’re not communicating) and my super simple, amazingly effective tool to get the conversation back on track! Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.wpengine.com/the-5-signs-that-youre-not-communicating-2...
Apr 13, 2021•35 min•Season 3Ep. 137
“What the hell is counter-dependency?” That was literally my response when I was asked to cover this topic for the podcast. In my over 35 years in the field, I’d never heard the term but, once I started my deep dive into learning everything about it, I realized that I had to do this episode to explain what it is and how it relates to codependency and narcissism. So, get yourself a cup of coffee and buckle up because today you’re going to get a clear picture of what all this is and my top 3 tips ...
Apr 06, 2021•34 min•Season 3Ep. 136
Do you get anxious or envious when you hear about your colleague’s fabulous vacation? Are you constantly overcommitting? Or maybe you get off social media feeling depressed? You, my friend, are suffering from FOMO: the fear of missing out! Today I’m going to show you how it’s not your fault that you’re on the FOMO train (your brain made you do it) and my top ways to get off that train and start living a peaceful, satisfied life just as you are! Full shownotes (scroll down to sign up for newslett...
Mar 30, 2021•31 min•Season 3Ep. 135
It seems like the definition of friends and family would be “people who have your back, no matter what.” Sadly, that’s not often how it feels. Today you’ll learn the 4 reasons friends and family are unsupportive and my top 5 tips for handling them like a pro so you can walk away feeling calm and confident. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/unsupportive-friends-and-family-the-5-things-you-want-to-do/ Join the waitlist for my upcoming book, Negative Thinking Sucks (and Not in a Good Way!): h...
Mar 23, 2021•36 min•Season 3Ep. 134
Are you dealing with negative self-talk? Is your inner voice an a-hole? Do you routinely say things to yourself like: “Why can’t you ever speak up for yourself?” “Yeah, the boss said I did a great job on that project, but she was just being nice” or “What’s wrong with me?” Today you’ll learn why you’ve got that jerk in your head and my top 3 ways to shut them up! AND I’ve got a free gift for you to really shift that inner voice so stick around! Join the waitlist for my upcoming book on negative ...
Mar 16, 2021•38 min•Season 3Ep. 133
An emotional affair can be even more damaging to a relationship than a physical one. There’s only so much emotional bandwidth each of us has every day and if your partner is expending that precious energy outside your relationship, that’s going to create disconnection and hurt. Today I’m teaching you the difference between an emotional affair and friendship, the 4 things you should definitely avoid if your partner is having an emotional affair and the 3 things you want to start doing to turn you...
Mar 09, 2021•42 min•Season 3Ep. 132
What can or should you be doing if your partner is making threats and telling you they’re unhappy? Today I’m going to teach you the 4 things to look out for that might mean your partner is serious and not just making a threat. And then we’re diving deep into the 3 things you need to know, and the 3 things you can do, to turn your relationship around. I’ve also got one of my amazing gifts for you that’s really going to help you create a loving, connected relationship. Full shownotes: https://abby...
Mar 02, 2021•31 min•Season 3Ep. 131
Self-sabotage can show up in any relationship: with our partner, boss, friend or, the one that hurts the most, in our relationship with ourselves! When you self-sabotage you’re holding yourself back from the person you want to be. Today I’m going to teach you why you self-sabotage, the surprising ways it can show up that you didn’t even realize and my 4-step process for stopping the sabotage and creating connection and trust in all your relationships. Full shownotes (and wait list for my NEW BOO...
Feb 23, 2021•36 min•Season 3Ep. 130
Superman did it, but you can’t. The past is unchangeable. Period. End of story. The could’ve and should’ve clearly doesn’t help, but we do it anyway. What’s up with this destructive pattern and how do we change it? Today, I’m going to walk you through my 3-step process to stop regretting an unhappy past and start living in a happy now. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/regret-sucks-the-3-step-process-to-make-it-stop-2/ Sign up to get my FREE Rational Emotive Therapy (RET) tool! Scroll down...
Feb 16, 2021•30 min•Season 3Ep. 129
Today I’m going to take you through the 5 most common ways caring too much about what other people think shows up in your life and my top 5 strategies for dealing with each type of situation. By the end of this podcast you’ll have real ways to move from caring so much what others think, to caring first and foremost what you think! Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-stop-caring-so-much-about-what-other-people-think-2/ ----------------------------- For more quick tips, subscribe to my ...
Feb 09, 2021•51 min•Season 3Ep. 128
Grief and loss aren’t just about someone dying. Sometimes you’ll experience these feelings due to something out of your control like being fired or someone breaking up with you. Other times, you’ll experience these feelings even when you were the one in control. You might have voluntarily moved from your home or state, been the one doing the breaking up, decided to stop drinking and you can still experience these same acute feelings of heartache, anguish and misery. Today I’m going to teach you ...
Feb 02, 2021•42 min•Season 3Ep. 127
You can’t stop thinking about him. She’s on your mind day and night. You’re trying to distract yourself, but all you can think about is them! Trying to move on after a divorce or break up can leave you feeling anxious, frustrated, and even ashamed of yourself. Today I’m going to tell you the surprising real reason it’s so tough to move on (so you can stop being so hard on yourself) and then (as always) the 7 things you can do to find peace and joy as quickly as possible. Full shownotes: https://...
Jan 26, 2021•39 min•Season 3Ep. 126
If I could boil down everything I’ve learned in the last 30 years to have great communication in both your business and personal life, it would be what I’m teaching you today. These 3 things are the reason you’ve tried communication tools before and they haven’t worked. It’s because you’ve got to establish these 3 pillars first, and then you can create connection and understanding in all your relationships. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/3-tips-for-effective-communication-in-every-relat...
Jan 19, 2021•35 min•Season 3Ep. 125
It doesn’t matter if it’s your partner, friend or a work colleague -- it’s so easy to get defensive and butt-hurt when they’re coming at you with something they’re upset about. When you get into a fear-based emotion yourself, you end up with a conversation that spirals down and you both walk away feeling misunderstood, unhappy and disconnected. What’s the answer? You can listen without getting hurt and have a great outcome if you follow my quick and easy 7-step process. Full shownotes: https://a...
Jan 12, 2021•38 min•Season 3Ep. 124
Self-care is, above all else, paying attention to how you feel! You can exercise all day and get a mani/pedi every week but if you’re not feeling happier or calmer overall, what’s the point? All the physical self-care in the world won’t get you where you’re trying to go if you ignore your emotional self-care. If you’ve been struggling with figuring out how to create effective self-care, today's episode is for you. As always, I've got my top tips and a free gift to integrate all that learning! Ge...
Jan 05, 2021•42 min•Season 3Ep. 123
Do you know someone who prioritizes their own needs over yours, with no apology? Maybe you feel like you can’t get their attention or feel like a priority? Do you often walk on eggshells around this person because they’re easily offended, and God forbid you give them feedback or criticism because they blow up? Or maybe you know someone who is always acting like the victim and blaming you when things aren’t going the way they want? Then you, my friend, might know a narcissist. Today you’ll learn ...
Dec 22, 2020•49 min•Season 3Ep. 122
When you fall in love with someone you get more than just that person because they come with a whole community of friends and family. If you’re lucky, you find that these are all your people too. However, in many cases, you find yourself surrounded by people you don’t like and wouldn’t choose to spend time with if it weren’t for your partner. Today I’m coming at you with the top 6 things you want to be doing if you don’t like your partner’s friends or family. Sign up for the FREE Communication T...
Dec 15, 2020•38 min•Season 3Ep. 121
I get asked a lot how to deal with judgmental and critical people. This is an issue for just about everyone, so today I’m coming at you with the 2 reasons people act this way and then my top 4 strategies for finding peace and calm, no matter what they say. Get my book on Audible: Be Happily Married: Even if Your Partner Won't Do a Thing: https://www.audible.com/pd/Be-Happily-Married-Audiobook/B07WMW9J2Q Get my FREE Meditation Starter Kit: https://abbymedcalf.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/v...
Dec 08, 2020•37 min•Season 3Ep. 120
Join me and NY Times Best Selling author, BJ Fogg, who talks about his amazing book, Tiny Habits: The Small Changes that Change Everything. Today you're going to learn the simple but effective tools to change some small things and get huge results. You won't need to make any New Years' resolutions because you'll already by already practicing great new habits by the time you ring in 2021! Join Dr. BJ Fogg's Behavior Design Bootcamp here: https://www.bjfogg.com/bootcamp Full shownotes: https://abb...
Dec 01, 2020•1 hr 10 min•Season 3Ep. 119
The holidays are a time when many people throw their rules aside and end up with lots of overdoing: too much food, too much booze or drugs, putting money on credit cards for gifts and travel and trying to cram more into your days than the space-time continuum allows. Layer on top of that all the COVID hell and you’ve easily got a recipe for feeling like crap come January 2nd. I’m here to be your cheerleader today and give you an easy 3-step plan to create a holiday season of joy and serenity. By...
Nov 24, 2020•35 min•Season 3Ep. 118
Figuring out how to deal with someone who’s struggling with drugs and alcohol is a topic for any time of year, but if someone you know seems to have a problem, the upcoming holidays are often a time when it’s going to really be highlighted. As a recovering drug addict myself, this is a topic near and dear to my heart. Today I’m giving you everything you need to know to approach any person who’s struggling with drugs and alcohol from a place of confidence and love. Full shownotes: https://abbymed...
Nov 17, 2020•1 hr 2 min•Season 3Ep. 117
Today I’m talking about the five ways your family is likely going to drive you crazy this holiday season along with my top five tips for battling back so you can have a joyful, sane and connecting holiday season. And the best news? I’m not going to tell you you have to be grateful or appreciate anyone! Full shownotes (plus "I Feel Exercise"): https://abbymedcalf.com/family-driving-you-crazy-during-holidays/ ____________________ For quick tips and actionable advice, subscribe to my YouTube channe...
Nov 10, 2020•46 min•Season 3Ep. 116
Feeling lonely sucks! If you’re listening, it means you’ve likely experienced the pain of feeling lonely or isolated at some point in your life. Social connection is imperative for humans. It improves our mental well-being and our physical health. Studies have even shown that a lack of social connection can be more detrimental to your health than smoking or obesity! Well, today is all about answers. We’re going to dive into the stigma of loneliness, the difference between being alone and being l...
Nov 03, 2020•54 min•Season 3Ep. 115
Here we are in our last week of Goodbye Negative Thinking Month! For the last 2 weeks, I’ve been laying out the pillars of the Goodbye Negative Thinking Trinity: First, we discussed the importance of starting each day with positive momentum. Then last week I taught you the second pillar which was all about calibrating and being the dominant vibration in the room. Today, we’re going to discuss the last pillar of the Goodbye Negative Thinking Trinity, which helps you keep that positive momentum go...
Oct 27, 2020•39 min•Season 3Ep. 114
