Developing empathy in relationships is the key to connection and communication. In fact, empathy is incredibly good for you! We know from the research that it not only strengthens relationships, but it also increases cooperation, helps people forgive, decreases negativity, aggression and being judgmental and even improves your physical health! Stay tuned to learn my 5 steps to becoming empathetic so you can create deep connection, joy and ease in all your relationships. Shownotes: https://abbyme...
Nov 30, 2021•40 min•Season 4Ep. 170
At its core, conflict avoidance is people pleasing due to a deeply ingrained fear of hurting or upsetting other people if you express your true feelings. This type of codependency leads to feelings of resentment and loneliness and ultimately hurts you and your relationships. Whether you’ve got a partner who’s conflict avoidant or you’re dealing with your own conflict avoidance, today’s episode is for you! Stay tuned while I walk you through my best tips for dealing with conflict avoidance whethe...
Nov 23, 2021•47 min•Season 4Ep. 169
What do you do if you want to get married but your partner doesn’t? Today I’m answering that very question on this Ask Dr. Abby episode so stay tuned! Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/my-partner-is-scared-of-marriage-what-to-do-if-your-partner-doesnt-want-to-get-married/ _______________________________ Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won’t believe my life!). This weekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relatio...
Nov 16, 2021•32 min•Season 4Ep. 168
No one can push our buttons like our family! The approaching holiday season means more time with those crazy people we love, which can equal more stress and more anxiety. But I’ve got your back! Today I’m teaching you my easy 3-step process to stay calm and centered when dealing with family stress and dysfunction during this holiday season. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-stay-calm-and-centered-when-dealing-with-family-stress-and-dysfunction-during-the-holidays/ Get my FREE Calmin...
Nov 09, 2021•45 min•Season 4Ep. 167
Gaslighting is a dangerous form of manipulation where someone acts in such a way that you start doubting your perceptions, your memory or your own judgment. You often walk away from the conversation feeling like the crazy one. Gaslighting is a common theme among narcissists but it can show up in many different types of relationships. Today, I'll teach you the signs of gaslighting so you can get clearer about whether this is happening in your life and I’ll walk you through my process to feel happ...
Nov 02, 2021•47 min•Season 4Ep. 166
Do you feel like your relationship isn't fair? Maybe you feel like you're always the one doing more of the heavy lifting, making more of the plans, figuring out the money, whatever it is, well, if that's what you've been feeling lately, then today's episode is for you. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/unfair-relationships-what-to-do-if-your-relationship-doesnt-feel-fair/ __________________________________ Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won...
Oct 26, 2021•33 min•Season 4Ep. 165
We’ve all been there. You set a healthy boundary with someone and feel good about it for about 5 minutes, and then the guilt begins to set in. You start thinking about how the other person is feeling and whether you’ve upset them. Or maybe now they’re angry and you’re regretting having said anything. If this is you and you’re ready to overcome your guilt and regret when setting boundaries, then you’re in the right place. Today you’re going to learn why you feel guilty and regretful and my 3-step...
Oct 19, 2021•51 min•Season 4Ep. 164
In any relationship, even really good relationships, there are hurts that can build up and need to be forgiven if you want to grow your relationship into that next level of emotional closeness and connection. Today I’ll cover the problems you have when you try to forgive, why it’s good for you and my 5-step process to forgiving someone who hurt you. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-forgive-someone-who-hurt-you-in-5-steps-2/ Blog: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-forgive-someone-who-h...
Oct 12, 2021•32 min•Season 4Ep. 163
What do you do if your partner (or someone else you love) gaslights and blames you for things not going their way? You listen to today’s episode of Ask Dr. Abby! In this episode, a listener we’ll call Rachel writes in that her boyfriend blames her whenever things don’t go well between them. He blames her for making him late, argues with her that she takes too long getting ready and rolls his eyes if she so much as says she has to stop to pee! When she tries to confront him and tell him how she f...
Oct 05, 2021•24 min•Season 4Ep. 162
Did you know that forgiveness is a choice? In this week’s podcast episode, I interviewed Dr. Robert Enright, the man Time Magazine calls “the Forgiveness Trailblazer” and author of the book that changed my life, Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope . We’re digging into Dr. Enright’s evidence-based forgiveness model, what it means to forgive, and why you would want to forgive someone in the first place. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/forg...
Sep 28, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Season 4Ep. 161
Sometimes it’s clear why we’re feeling angry but a lot of the time, we react angrily to something and later think, “Why did I get so mad?” or maybe you’re noticing an undercurrent of anger and resentment in your day-to-day life or that you seem to get mad way too easily. I’m going to go out on a limb and say this: If you’re noticing that you’re feeling anger, resentment and frustration on a daily basis, there’s something you need to fix. Today I’m going to teach you the 5 real reasons you’re ang...
Sep 21, 2021•31 min•Season 4Ep. 160
Are you dealing with family stress? Lashing out at your mom for that condescending thing she said? Feeling guilty that you’re avoiding your dad because he drives you crazy? Today you’re going to learn my top 3 tips on how to not get triggered by family stress so you can find joy and peace in your relationship with your parents and siblings. _____________________________________ Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won’t believe my life!). This weekly r...
Sep 14, 2021•32 min•Season 4Ep. 159
Are you dealing with family stress? Lashing out at your mom for that condescending thing she said? Feeling guilty that you’re avoiding your dad because he drives you crazy? Today you’re going to learn my top 3 tips on how to not get triggered by family stress so you can find joy and peace in your relationship with your parents and siblings. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/got-family-stress-how-to-not-get-triggered-by-family-2/ Grab my FREE Mindfulness Starter Kit here: https://abbymedcal...
Sep 14, 2021•32 min•Season 4Ep. 159
How do you let things go that bother you? How do you stop overthinking -- going round and round in your head? Maybe your partner hurt you or you’re worried about paying your bills or maybe you’re freaking out about COVID and the Delta variant and you distract yourself for a bit, only to find all those thoughts and worries crashing down on you an hour later. Today I’m going to teach you a simple, evidence-based technique to help you move from anxious and upset to serene and content in just a few ...
Sep 07, 2021•39 min•Season 4Ep. 158
What do you do when an extended family member is creating a toxic atmosphere at family gatherings? How do you draw boundaries and feel seen and heard when dealing with toxic family relationships? I'm going deep on this question in today's episode! Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/ask-dr-abby-what-to-do-when-your-partner-avoids-difficult-conversations/ _________________________________________ Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won’t believe my...
Aug 31, 2021•27 min•Season 4Ep. 157
Are you finding it hard to trust and connect with your partner because they avoid difficult conversations or lie to you about how they're really feeling to avoid upsetting you? Then today's show is for you! I'm answering another question from a listener with this exact problem and giving my top tips for creating connection! Full Shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/ask-dr-abby-what-to-do-when-your-partner-avoids-difficult-conversations/ ____________________________________ Subscribe today to get m...
Aug 24, 2021•32 min•Season 4Ep. 156
Feeling insecure and not good enough leads to you talking some serious smack to yourself, leaving you feeling anxious, crappy and even jealous. Research shows that your insecurity and all that disapproval inside your head not only hurts your physical and mental health, but it also negatively impacts how both you and your partner feel about your relationship. When you become more secure you’ll silence your inner critic and improve all your relationships (really). Today I’m teaching you the 7 sign...
Aug 17, 2021•56 min•Season 4Ep. 155
This week we’re doing an “Ask Dr. Abby” episode, where I respond to a question submitted by one of YOU! This week, someone wrote this: “Dear Dr. Abby, I’m feeling unloved and unappreciated or not good enough in some way. Is this a “me” problem, or is my partner causing it?” Stay tuned as I dive deep into issues of feeling unloved and unappreciated in our relationships and what it really means when we’re feeling “not good enough.” Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/ask-dr-abby-i-feel-unloved...
Aug 10, 2021•29 min•Season 4Ep. 154
Are you ready to improve your communication in all aspects of your life – with your partner, at work, with your family and friends? If I could boil down everything I’ve learned in the last 30 years to have great communication in both your business and personal life, it would be what I’m teaching you today. In this episode you’ll learn my five-step process to effective communication in every relationship (which will surprise you, for sure). Grab the FREE Align Your Conscious Mind Guide here: http...
Aug 03, 2021•55 min•Season 4Ep. 153
If you were sitting alone in a room and talking out loud, would you define that as communicating? No, I didn’t think so. But half the time you’re practically doing just that but calling it communicating. You’re speaking to (or at) your partner, coworker or child and think you’re communicating even though they’re not really listening to a word you’re saying! You might as well be alone speaking to an empty room for all the good it’s doing you (I bet you’ve even yelled that out loud in frustration ...
Aug 03, 2021•24 min•Season 4Ep. 152
You’ve tried all the communication tools: you’ve been to couples counseling, attended workshops, read books, listened to podcasts and watched countless YouTube videos to learn how to communicate more effectively in your personal or work life. You’ve tried the new tool you learned with vim and vigor and maybe you saw some positive changes but soon found yourself falling back into old, unwanted patterns. There are three main reasons you’ve tried communication tools before and they haven’t worked, ...
Aug 03, 2021•30 min•Season 4Ep. 151
Can’t stop obsessing about your ex or worrying about your bills? Or maybe you can’t stop beating yourself up over that “stupid” thing you said at work the other day? You’re not alone! Lots of us just can’t stop those negative thoughts! Luckily, there’s a research-backed way to stop ruminating called "self-distancing." Today I’m going to teach you all about self-distancing and my top 4 ways for putting it into practice. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-to-do-when-you-cant-stop-thinkin...
Jul 13, 2021•20 min•Season 3Ep. 150
Is your mom always pointing out how you should have done something better? Do you share good news with your brother but then he poops all over it? Do you have a friend who says, “Let me just play devil’s advocate for a second?” There are good points to these people, and you love them, but you leave conversations feeling drained, sad, frustrated or resentful. Today, I’m teaching you my five-step process to deal with negative friends and family so you can stop feeling emotionally drained and start...
Jul 06, 2021•27 min•Season 3Ep. 149
Today I’m answering your top questions when it comes to porn in relationships: Is it an addiction? Is it cheating? What does the research say about it? What do you say about it, Abby? And how the heck do I deal with it, if it’s become an issue? I’m coming at you with all the answers today, so stay tuned! Grab my FREE Communication Tool Kit for Couples: https://abbymedcalfthriving.lpages.co/communication-crash-course/ Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/is-porn-ok-in-your-relationship/ Blog: ...
Jun 29, 2021•42 min•Season 3Ep. 148
I’m sure you’ve heard of the fight/flight/freeze response, but did you know that there’s also a fourth type of response called fawn, which is like people pleasing in hyper drive? Today I’m breaking down these 4 different conflict responses and then you’ll learn my 2-step process to start taking control of your emotional reactions today! Grab my FREE Mindfulness Starter Kit (scroll down): https://abbymedcalf.com/your-people-pleasing-might-be-a-trauma-response/ Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf....
Jun 22, 2021•47 min•Season 3Ep. 147
When you hear the word "trauma" you might be thinking, “Well, that doesn’t apply to me. I’ve never been the victim of a violent crime or in a war.” But defining any psychological trauma can be hard because it’s such an individual experience. I’ve been working with people for over 35 years, and I can tell you that what traumatizes you, might not traumatize someone else. This is why you might not realize you’re dealing with unhealed trauma, because you or someone else might be minimizing your expe...
Jun 15, 2021•32 min•Season 3Ep. 146
When you hear the word "trauma" you might be thinking, “Well, that doesn’t apply to me. I’ve never been the victim of a violent crime or in a war.” But defining any psychological trauma can be hard because it’s such an individual experience. I’ve been working with people for over 35 years, and I can tell you that what traumatizes you, might not traumatize someone else. This is why you might not realize you’re dealing with unhealed trauma, because you or someone else might be minimizing your expe...
Jun 15, 2021•32 min•Season 3Ep. 146
Do you feel pressure from your partner to be happy or “get over it” when you’re struggling? Does your best friend dismiss or minimize your difficult feelings? When you’re hurt, does your mom say, “You should be grateful” or “Look on the bright side?” You might be dealing with toxic positivity that leaves you feeling resentful, guilty or even ashamed but I’m here to help with my not-so-secret secret to turning these relationships around so you can feel heard and truly cared for. Mindfulness Start...
Jun 08, 2021•38 min•Season 3Ep. 145
Do you feel pressure from your partner to be happy or “get over it” when you’re struggling? Does your best friend dismiss or minimize your difficult feelings? When you’re hurt, does your mom say, “You should be grateful” or “Look on the bright side?” You might be dealing with toxic positivity that leaves you feeling resentful, guilty or even ashamed but I’m here to help with my not-so-secret secret to turning these relationships around so you can feel heard and truly cared for. -----------------...
Jun 08, 2021•38 min•Season 3Ep. 145
Do you have a friend who you’re always there for but, when you’re in need, they ghost you or offer minimal energy or support? Basically, are you in a friendship where it’s always all about them? Maybe you’ve been friends for years and you just want things to be more equal. Or maybe you don’t want to be friends anymore but can’t figure out how to leave without all the drama. Either way, I’ve got you covered so stay tuned! Please rate and leave a review! Grab the "I Feel Formula" here (scroll down...
Jun 01, 2021•40 min•Season 3Ep. 144
