In this episode, we're talking about how to leave a relationship from the perspective of knowing that you need to. Break-ups are hard - no matter the circumstances - and most of the advice tends to be directed toward people who've been broken up with, rather than those doing the breaking up. We'll cover: why waiting for the "right time" is an illusion how to support yourself as you prepare for a break-up grappling with guilt around hurting someone how to cultivate health...
Apr 18, 2023•21 min•Season 1Ep. 66
In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of "Can a relationship between two anxiously attached people work?". I get variations of this question a lot - basically, why wouldn't anxious and avoidant people save themselves the trouble by sticking to their own kind? Well, as always, it's not quite that simple... We'll cover: why anxious and avoidant people tend to be attracted to each other the truth behind why "opposites attract" what happe...
Apr 13, 2023•16 min•Season 1Ep. 65
Today's episode is all about the role of criticism in anxious-avoidant dynamics. Both anxious and avoidant people have been known to deploy criticism as a strategy to manage fears and self-protect in relationships - but this will often look different (and be motivated by different drives) on each side. One thing's for sure: no matter how it shows up, criticism is really harmful to relationships - so if this is something you struggle with, you've come to the right place. We'll...
Apr 12, 2023•24 min•Season 1Ep. 64
In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of how to navigate an all-consuming fear & paranoia around a partner cheating - particularly in circumstances where that fear is seemingly unwarranted. We'll cover: the importance of nervous system regulation when we experience intense fear & paranoia when to talk to a partner about our fears the link between fear of cheating and low self-worth a liberating truth about control in relationships Highlighted Links FREE TR...
Apr 07, 2023•20 min•Season 1Ep. 63
In today's episode, I'm speaking with Sarah Baldwin - a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Trauma Coach who is trained in Polyvagal interventions and is on the training team at the Polyvagal Institute. Sarah specialises in somatic trauma healing, attachment work, parts and inner child work and nervous system regulation. We cover: why nervous system regulation is the missing piece in so much healing work understanding the different states of your nervous system the connection between...
Apr 05, 2023•55 min•Season 1Ep. 62
In this Q&A episode, I'm speaking to the common conundrum of what to do when you're feeling stuck in your relationship. This often happens when we've been trying for some time to make changes (or hoping that our partner will make changes), but we're just not seeing any progress. I'll share an unexpected way that you can shift out of low self-worth and hopelessness, and into a more empowered, self-confident state that will allow you to navigate whatever is happening i...
Mar 30, 2023•15 min•Season 1Ep. 61
In this episode, we're talking all about needs - specifically, looking at some common reasons why you're not getting your needs met in a relationship. It's easy to feel defeated and hurt when our needs are going unmet, but oftentimes there's far more that's within our control than we might think. We'll cover: the importance of identifying your needs how to communicate your needs to your partner mindset blocks around receiving and how these stops you from getting wha...
Mar 29, 2023•28 min•Season 1Ep. 60
In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of how to bring up wanting to move in together with an avoidant partner. This episode will be super helpful for anyone in this same situation, or who is otherwise wanting to have a "what are we?" type chat with their avoidant partner. We'll cover: mindset shifts for the anxious partner in approaching these conversations how to own your desires and feel comfortable voicing them how best to approach these conversations...
Mar 23, 2023•17 min•Season 1Ep. 59
In anticipation of the upcoming launch of my signature program Healing Anxious Attachment , today's episode is all about what changes you can expect as you heal your anxious attachment. I'll be sharing 6 shifts that you'll notice as you do the healing work and become more secure within yourself and in your relationships. We cover: learning to observe your anxious thoughts rather than be ruled by them not feeling the urgent need to fix and problem-solve your relationship trusting t...
Mar 22, 2023•21 min•Season 1Ep. 58
In today's episode, we're talking about the difference between privacy and secrecy. Depending on where you sit on the attachment spectrum, you may have a complicated relationship with privacy - both your own and others'. We'll discuss where the line is between privacy and secrecy, and what to do if you find other people's privacy uncomfortable or triggering. We cover: what's the difference between privacy and secrecy? anxious attachment and the need for information ...
Mar 17, 2023•13 min•Season 1Ep. 57
In today's episode, I'm sharing 5 ways to support a partner with a fearful avoidant (AKA disorganised) attachment style. The fearful avoidant attachment style is often considered the most complex and challenging of the attachment styles, characterised by a conflicting push-pull between wanting intimacy and fearing it. We'll cover: the betrayal wound and the importance of honesty & openness in building trust striking the right balance between compassion & firm boundaries ho...
Mar 14, 2023•24 min•Season 1Ep. 56
In this Q&A episode, we're talking all about moving on after a break-up. Specifically, what to do when we want to move on, but deep down we're still very much hoping our ex will reach out and want to rekindle. We cover: the importance of allowing ourselves to feel our feelings after a break-up why we don't need to emotionally let go before moving on how to take action to support yourself after a break-up You can download my free guided meditation on finding closure & letti...
Mar 09, 2023•11 min•Season 1Ep. 55
In this episode, we're talking all about the stages of a relationship - specifically, what happens when we transition from the honeymoon period of a relationship (fuelled by chemistry, romance and infatuation) to the power struggle (where all our flaws and wounds come to the fore). We'll talk about: what each stage of a relationship looks like why the transition from honeymoon period to power struggle feels like a bait & switch how anxious-avoidant dynamics overlay onto this dynami...
Mar 08, 2023•22 min•Season 1Ep. 54
In this episode, I'm answering the question of "I'm anxious, he's avoidant. Is it weird that I want more sex than him?" We cover: anxious-avoidant sexual dynamics the sexual honeymoon period and what happens afterward why avoidant partners withdraw sexually how anxiously attached people use sex for validation Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here S...
Mar 02, 2023•15 min•Season 1Ep. 53
In today's episode, I'm offering 6 tips on how avoidant people can become more secure in their relationships. We cover: the importance of getting to know your inner world learning to feel safe with healthy interdependency increasing your tolerance for disharmony and conflict getting curious about your triggers before acting on them communicating with words rather than actions the benefits of co-regulation for your nervous system Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to Heal Anxious Atta...
Feb 28, 2023•23 min•Season 1Ep. 52
In today's Q&A episode, I'm sharing tips for initiating hard conversations with an avoidant partner. This is a question I get a lot - how to express needs to an avoidant partner, how to set boundaries, how to share feedback. These conversations are already intimidating for many anxiously attached folks, and when combined with the sensitivities of the avoidant partner, can be a perfect storm. We cover: how to set yourself up for success in initiating hard conversations the importanc...
Feb 23, 2023•18 min•Season 1Ep. 51
In this episode, I'm talking all about perfectionism - but probably not in the way you've heard it spoken about before. Perfectionism is often thought of as a personality quirk - a commitment to high achieving and having things a certain way. But when it comes to relationships, perfectionism can be a powerful protective strategy that keeps us from being seen and known as our authentic selves. We cover: how anxiously attached people hold themselves to standards of perfection as a way to...
Feb 22, 2023•21 min•Season 1Ep. 50
In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of "My ex moved on immediately post break-up and I can't help but take it personally." This is a really common pain point for people post-break-up, so don't beat yourself up if you're in this situation (or have been there in the past!) We'll cover: why it's normal to feel hurt by a partner moving on faster than we do why it's so important to monitor the stories we tell ourselves post break-up...
Feb 16, 2023•13 min•Season 1Ep. 49
In today's episode, we're talking all about emotional health & safety in relationships. If you've ever wondered what "emotional safety" actually means, look no further - we'll be discussing some guiding principles and questions you can ask to assess how emotionally healthy your relationship is. And most importantly, what you can do to improve the emotional state of your relationship - because let's face it, this is going to be a work in progress for most of...
Feb 14, 2023•18 min•Season 1Ep. 48
"We've been together a year and I've just seen he's still using Tinder. Can trust be rebuilt?" Today's episode is a community Q&A, and I'm answering a hard question about rebuilding after discovering a breach of trust. We'll talk through: Things to look for when deciding whether to stay & rebuild after infidelity The importance of the other person taking ownership & responsibility for the harm caused What it really takes to rebuild trust Recomm...
Feb 09, 2023•13 min•Season 1Ep. 47
In this episode, I'm sharing 5 tips for rebuilding after a long-term relationship ends. Let's face it: break-ups are painful at the best of times. But when the relationship was a long-term one, it can be even more challenging to navigate our "new" life without our ex in it. I'll be sharing tips to support you through the life cycle of your break-up - from the initial grieving process all the way through to re-entering the dating world. We cover: How to grieve your break-...
Feb 07, 2023•21 min•Season 1Ep. 46
In this episode, I'm answering a question I receive all the time which is: "How do I tell my partner they are avoidant so that we can start doing the work?" We cover: The importance of being honest & self-aware about our intentions in introducing a partner to personal development work Navigating anxious attachment tendencies around the saviour complex, over-functioning and taking responsibility for what's not ours Why "the work" might look different for everyone...
Feb 02, 2023•16 min•Season 1Ep. 45
In this episode, we're talking all about apologies - and specifically, why they might feel so hard sometimes. Being able to apologise is so fundamental to healthy repair, but for many of us, can feel inexplicably challenging. After listening to today's episode, my hope is that you'll have greater clarity around why apologies can feel so hard, and how to address the underlying resistance so you can foster greater connection and emotional maturity in your relationships. What we cove...
Jan 31, 2023•17 min•Season 1Ep. 44
In this week's Q&A episode, I'm answering a community question about the (very common) tendency to lose oneself as an anxiously attached person in relationships. I'll talk through why this happens so often and easily, and what you can do to counter it. Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here September 2025 London Event Waitlist Additional Resources Join my...
Jan 26, 2023•11 min•Season 1Ep. 43
We often speak about the many ways in which anxious and avoidantly attached people differ in their relationship styles. But in this episode, I'm flipping the script and highlighting some similarities between these so-called conflicting styles. We cover relationship fears, boundaries, vulnerability, conflict and more - and my hope is that you'll walk away with a greater capacity to approach yourself and the people in your life with curiosity and compassion. Highlighted Links FREE TRAINI...
Jan 23, 2023•28 min•Season 1Ep. 42
In this episode, I'm answering the community question of "I used to be anxiously attached, but after discovering my husband's infidelity, I find myself being avoidant with potential new partners. How do I find the healthy middle ground?" We talk about changing attachment styles, fear, betrayal and how we can start to create more safety more ourselves after we've been hurt. Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life &...
Jan 19, 2023•10 min•Season 1Ep. 41
It's easy to feel overwhelmed and confused with the vast amounts of (often-conflicting) relationship advice going around - which is why in this week's episode, I'm calling out 5 pieces of unhelpful relationship advice, as well as some more constructive alternatives. I'll give my take on common advice like "never settle", "you have to love yourself first", and "when you find the one, you'll just know!". Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to...
Jan 17, 2023•24 min•Season 1Ep. 40
In our last episode of 2022, I'm sharing 5 pieces of life advice to help you enter 2023 with intention, inspiration and clarity around who you want to be and what you want to create in your life. Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here September 2025 London Event Waitlist Additional Resources Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditat...
Dec 30, 2022•16 min•Season 1Ep. 39
In this week's episode, I'm sharing a trend I notice in people with anxious attachment as they move through their healing journey. I'm sharing my observation of three key "stages" or mindsets that people typically fall into, and which mindset will set you up for the most success in meaningfully shifting your anxious attachment style. Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Download the FREE Anxious Atta...
Dec 14, 2022•21 min•Season 1Ep. 38
In this week's episode, we're talking all about anxious attachment & inconsistency. Inconsistency is a real point of sensitivity for anxiously attached folks, and we'll be talking through what that can look like, where it comes from, and some tools and reframes to support you in navigating the ebbs & flows of relationships from a more secure base. Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Download the FREE ...
Dec 06, 2022•24 min•Season 1Ep. 37
