As a recovering control freak, I know what it's like to be over-the-top in exercising control in life and relationships. I've read and heard a lot of good material on the subject over the years, but have never been fully satisfied. Today's episode explores Sathiya's proprietary framework for dealing with control – The Control-Safety-Trust triad. This simple teaching has been making a huge difference in his life and the lives of his clients. If you're learning to better understand control and the...
Jul 12, 2021•19 min•Ep. 61
When you finally reach that place where you're ready to share about your struggle, the next question is "Who?" One thing is for sure – you should tell someone horitzontally (peer, friend, colleague, etc) and someone vertically (pastor, coach, leader, mentor, etc). How you involve your significant other depends on several factors. We talk about all of this and more in today's episode, providing a couple of real-life examples. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newsletter...
Jul 09, 2021•20 min•Ep. 60
How you handle relapses matter. In some ways, it is the difference between a continuation of a binge-purge cycle or a small blip in the recovery journey. There are a few hacks we have learned along the way that any man can apply to recover quickly after a relapse. The goal is to reduce shame and re-engage your heart. Today's episode provides practical ways to quickly accomplish this. For more, check out Episode 28 – The Best Way To Handle A Relapse Receive weekly insights and inspiration by sign...
Jul 08, 2021•21 min•Ep. 59
Often it is the inability to handle stress & anger that eventually leads to a slip. Today's episode explores practical ways to manage anger in the moment to prevent things from boiling over. Managing anger is not only recommended, it is godly. When done right it can quite fruitful. Judson Brewer's book, "The Craving Mind": https://www.amazon.ca/Craving-Mind-Cigarettes-Smartphones-Hooked/dp/0300234368/ Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newsletter a t www.sathiyasam....
Jul 07, 2021•17 min•Ep. 58
Watching friends struggle can be a challenge. Today we talk about how you can help others get free of porn – whether you are struggling or not. Specifically, we talk about: 1) Why saying "Anytime you want to talk let me know" is a bad response 2) Be slow to enter an accountability arrangement 3) Encourage professional help 4) Being a good friend goes further than you think If you apply what you learn in the episode, you are sure to be a helpful guide and could play a catalytic role in the recove...
Jul 06, 2021•23 min•Ep. 57
Today Sathiya sits down with Barry Adams, the author of the Father's Love Letter. After a very emotional response from the congregation to a simple sermon illustration in 1999, Barry decided to post the video online. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought that this compilation of paraphrased Bible passages would transform millions of people around the world and be translated into over 100 languages. Growing in your identity and experiencing God's tangible love are some of the core con...
Jul 05, 2021•50 min•Ep. 56
Life often features mysterious phenomena and recurring patterns. Sometimes they are simply coincidences, other times they are clues that reveal God is speaking. In this out-of-the-ordinary episode, Sathiya talks about how God will sometimes speak in unusual ways and why He chooses to do so. Learning to hear God in these ways puts you at a great advantage in the heart transformation journey. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newsletter at www.sathiyasam.com Connect with...
Jul 02, 2021•27 min•Ep. 55
In honor of Canada Day, today's episode explores the unexpected ways your culture might play a role in porn viewership and what you can do to respond appropriately. If we are not careful, our ethnic culture(s) can negatively impact our journey to freedom. You'll learn how this dynamic works and practical steps to help you combat it. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newsletter at www.sathiyasam.com Connect with me on IG - www.instagram.com/sathiyaMEsam Submit questions...
Jul 01, 2021•22 min•Ep. 54
One of the most common desires in our clients at DeepClean is to lead. Church, family, business, wherever it may be, men want to lead. What holds them back? Porn, masturbation, addiction. Today's episode explains why every man is a leader, no matter the stage of life you are in, and offers practical ways to step further into your leadership calling before you achieve complete freedom. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newsletter at www.sathiyasam.com Connect with me on...
Jun 30, 2021•21 min•Ep. 53
Today Sathiya continues his interview with Dr. Joe Martin, the founder and president of Real Men Connect to explore the second part of his storybook life from divorce and sex addiction to a place of wholeness and health (ruin to redemption). Joe Martin is an award-winning international speaker, educator, and certified "man builder." His non-profit organization (Real Men Connect) helps Christian men win at what matters the most as husbands, fathers, and spiritual leaders. He's written or co-autho...
Jun 29, 2021•50 min•Ep. 52
Today Sathiya sits down with Dr. Joe Martin, the founder and president of Real Men Connect to unpack the first part of his storybook life from the projects to a place of prominence (rags to riches). Joe Martin is an award-winning international speaker, educator, and certified "man builder." His non-profit organization (Real Men Connect) helps Christian men win at what matters the most as husbands, fathers, and spiritual leaders. He's written or co-authored nine books, spoken to more than 750 org...
Jun 28, 2021•29 min•Ep. 51
Today's episode explores the results of a survey Sathiya conducted with his current client base. The survey consisted of one simple questino: "What is one tip you would give to someone starting out in their journey to freedom?" The results in some ways are surprising, other ways hilarious, and in many ways, salient wisdom from men around the world who are doing the work to make radical improvements to their lives. If you're looking to get started to kick porn addiction to the curb for good, this...
Jun 27, 2021•23 min•Ep. 50
Personality tests have become very popular over the years and for good reason, they help us better understand ourselves. However, they can be problematic if they are used to define ourselves. We must separate personality from identity – our identity does not change, meanwhile personalities develop and shift over time. Today's episode breaks this down in more detail and offers some guidance on how to protect your identity while you explore personality test findings. Receive weekly insights and in...
Jun 25, 2021•11 min•Ep. 49
The book of Proverbs is a personal favorite of Sathiya's. In today's episode, he explains why he has studied the Book of Proverbs for 13 years and how it can powerfully impact the decisions we make in our lives. If you are looking for godly wisdom and input on how to live a life of integrity, this episode is for you. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newsletter at www.sathiyasam.com Connect with me on IG - www.instagram.com/sathiyaMEsam Submit questions to admin@sathiy...
Jun 24, 2021•25 min•Ep. 48
Everyone with a working brain experience victim thinking at some point. Usually this helps us avoid pain or experience short-term gain, often at the expense of longer lasting change. Today we explore areas where the victim mentalities can sneak in and practical steps to break them down and take ownership. This is when true growth takes place. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newsletter at www.sathiyasam.com Connect with me on IG - www.instagram.com/sathiyaMEsam Submit...
Jun 23, 2021•20 min•Ep. 47
If you do a little digging into your lineage, you will likely find a trail of generational patterns revolving around many of the issues you experience today. Pornography, masturbation and lust are no exceptions. Today's episode introduces the idea of generational patterns and provides a key you can begin using today to break them. This is especially pertinent for fathers or those who want to be fathers one day. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newsletter at www.sathiy...
Jun 22, 2021•15 min•Ep. 45
Today's episode features Garrett Jonsson of Fight The New Drug, one of the best-known organizations in the porn recovery space. Fight the New Drug is a non-religious and non-legislative organization that exists to provide individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography by raising awareness on its harmful effects using only science, facts, and personal accounts. Garrett Jonsson is a Fight the New Drug representative, presenter and podcast host of Consider Before Con...
Jun 21, 2021•56 min•Ep. 44
Today's episode explores a classic addiction concept, the binge-purge cycle. This dynamic is almost always at play for someone struggling with pornography. This episode will help you understand the concept, identify it in your own life, and devise solutions to break the cycle altogether. Today's episode referenced Episode 19 - Do I Have To Ask For Forgiveness Every Time I Slip? and Episode 12 - Man's Secret Weapon (journaling) Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newsle t...
Jun 20, 2021•26 min•Ep. 43
Stress is the leading cause of most slips in the DeepClean community. Today we unpack why stress is so problematic and the impact it has on the body and the brain. This deep dive is meant to give you context to manage your stress better and make better decisions as you navigate the cares of life. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newslett er at www.sathiyas am.com Connect with me on I G - www.instagram.com/sathiyaM Esam Submit questions to admin@sathiyasam. com...
Jun 18, 2021•26 min•Ep. 42
Stress is the leading cause of most slips in the DeepClean community. The reason is simple – stress takes us out of our ideal states and forces us into coping patterns. If we haven't developed good patterns, we make poor decisions when we stress, including slipping. Today's episode will tell you how to understand the impact stress has on slipping and how you can mitigate stress to improve your decision making. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newslett er at www.sathiy...
Jun 17, 2021•24 min•Ep. 41
We use the word "freedom" often, but sometimes it is poorly explained. Freedom is not the absence of limitation, it is the presence of choice. Freedom is not on or off, rather it is a spectrum that increases with time as we grow and mature. Today's episode breaks down the common myths around the subject of freedom while bringing a much clearer definition of the term. With more clarity comes the opportunity to walk in more freedom, starting now. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing ...
Jun 16, 2021•27 min•Ep. 40
Today we explore an absolutely brilliant quote: "You cannot grow until you can make sense of yourself" Often, we are inhibited from moving forward in our lives simply because we have not taken time to properly understand ourselves and how we are experiencing the issue. This episode will systematically guide you through the process of understanding yourself and how you can apply your knowledge to bring about long-term change. This episode is especially important for someone looking to get free of...
Jun 15, 2021•22 min•Ep. 39
Sathiya sits down with relationship expert Coach Drew (Dr. Andrew Blackwood) to discuss important skills required for self-awareness, appropriate sharing, and healthy decision making. Coach Drew is an exceptionally gifted communicator, breaking down more clinical concepts in easy to understand ways. If you're looking to grow in your meaningful relationships while you pursue freedom, this interview will provide you great insights, philosophically and practically. Learn more about Coach Drew at ht...
Jun 14, 2021•52 min•Ep. 38
We often talk about how to handle attraction towards strangers on the street or people you meet informally and infrequently. What about people you see regularly? Often attraction to others in familiar places like work, church and friends is the seedbed to adultery. Learning to handle these situations with integrity & wisdom will protect your key relationships and prevent big mistakes down the road. NOTE: A previous episode was mistakenly referenced in the recording. Please disregard this. Mo...
Jun 13, 2021•21 min•Ep. 37
While there are many models around today, successful accountability requires one key ingredient. With this in place, your accountability is guaranteed to stand the test of time and mutually benefit both parties involved. Today's podcast explores this system for accountability in further detail, using a recent example as a demonstration. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newsletter at www.sathiyasam .com Connect with me on IG - www.instagram.com/sathiyaMEs am Submit que...
Jun 11, 2021•22 min•Ep. 36
Men often receive feedback that their listening skills need improvement. Whether it's at work, home, church or elsewhere. Good listening is not complicated, but it does require an earnest and intentional effort in 4 key areas. Today's episode explores these areas in an easy-to-understand way. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newsletter at www.sathiyasam .com Connect with me on IG - www.instagram.com/sathiyaMEs am Submit questions to admin@sathiyasam.co m...
Jun 10, 2021•26 min•Ep. 35
Today's unique episode uses a personal experience to relay two fundamental principles of recovery. First, sometimes you must sacrifice the good in your life to achieve the best. Second, do not medicate where you are meant to eliminate. Applying these principles is the difference between those who achieve partial and full freedom. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my newsletter at www.sathiyasam .com Connect with me on IG - www.instagram.com/sathiyaMEs am Submit questions ...
Jun 09, 2021•17 min•Ep. 34
You may think porn addiction is only psychological, but there is much more to the equation. If you are not careful, porn can have adverse effects on your physiology, including erectile dysfunction. Today's episode explores the physical parts of porn addiction, including PIED and wet dreams. While these are less comfortable parts to discuss, having knowledge in these areas will dramatically increase your chances of full recovery. Today's episode referenced Ep 25 - The Forgotten Secret For Rewirin...
Jun 08, 2021•23 min•Ep. 33
Truly it is the fundamental question every man asks while overcoming pornography addiction – why am I doing this when I don't want to? I should be able to "just stop" yet I cannot. What is the deal? Well in today's episode, we look at an example of a former client that experienced this dynamic and the steps he needed to take to stop doing the thing he wanted to do. Today's episode referenced Ep 25 - The Forgotten Secret For Rewiring Your Brain Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing u...
Jun 07, 2021•19 min•Ep. 32
Today we are getting into a rarely discussed subject - fetishes. Without the right information and guidance, our understanding of these subjects often hinders us from making any sort of progress or recovery. This episode helps you understand why fetishes form and practical steps you can take to break the fetish. Listen to Sathiya's interview with Drew Boa (Husband Material Men) Very helpful video explaining the neurology of fetishes. Receive weekly insights and inspiration by signing up for my n...
Jun 06, 2021•24 min•Ep. 32
