The Science of Connection: Building Bonds Through Small Acts of Love In this episode, I share a brief moment with my nephew that opened up a bigger question: How do we create the kind of presence that people remember? I explore the science of likability, the concept of “Love 2.0,” and why the smallest gestures – eye contact, laughter, a kind word – have long-lasting emotional and health benefits. This isn’t about being charming or chosen. It’s about how we choose to show up. *** I’m your host, S...
Jul 25, 2025•10 min
What if the real key to growth isn’t pushing harder, but celebrating more? In this episode, I’m sharing why savoring your wins matters – how it rewires your brain, reinforces your identity, and helps you live in alignment with your values. If you’ve been rushing from one goal to the next, this is your invitation to pause, reflect, and really honor the actions you’re taking. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach . My work is about helping people like you share your v...
Jul 13, 2025•7 min
What did the Founding Fathers actually mean when they talked about “the pursuit of happiness” – and how can we apply that wisdom to our lives today? This episode is about what real happiness looks like – not the fireworks version, but the kind that comes from gratitude, good character, and being present for the small moments. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach . My work is about helping people like you share your voice, strengthen your relationships, and have mor...
Jul 08, 2025•10 min
Struggling to start something new because you're afraid of looking foolish? This episode is your permission slip to begin. You’ll learn how Stoic philosophy and growth mindset can help you move through discomfort, let go of perfectionism, and build real confidence – one imperfect step at a time. If you’ve been overthinking or biting your tongue, this conversation will help you shift into action. Read the transcript *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach . My work is ...
Jun 29, 2025•12 min
What do abandoned mansions in Bucharest have to do with dirty dishes and emotional resentment? In this episode, I explore how our desire for fairness can lead us to self-sabotage — and how Stoic justice asks us to think beyond pride, punishment, and being right. We’ll walk through a real-world example of decades-long property disputes, connect it to the Ultimatum Game in behavioral economics, and look at how these same dynamics show up in our everyday relationships — from family drama to who doe...
Jun 21, 2025•11 min
Mr. Darcy has been on my mind this week. Not because he’s the fantasy of so many women, but because I finally read Pride and Prejudice , and discovered something shocking (to me) about him. I’d always thought of Mr. Darcy as this tall, brooding, misunderstood character. The fabulously wealthy, handsome man who everyone thinks is a jerk, but secretly has a heart of gold and wants to take care of you. This is why women have been obsessed with him for hundreds of years. The strong, silent, mysterio...
Dec 08, 2024•16 min
Last week, I gave one of the lightning talks at Stoicon 2024. The topic: How to Combat Speaking Anxiety with Stoicism. Want to see the video? Head to my Substack 👉 Citizens of the World Thanks for listening ❤️ sarahmikutel.com Does the phrase “public speaking” make you feel a little sick…even if it’s just a team meeting or a group conversation? I made something to help you. Calm Your Nerves in 90 Seconds is a free anxiety-reduction toolkit with a guided meditation and journal to help you commun...
Oct 25, 2024•10 min
Why do we get angry? How can we challenge our immediate reactions? And what's the best way to articulate our feelings without passive aggression or a blow-up? In this episode, you'll learn four Stoic tips to turn potential conflicts into opportunities for personal growth and stronger relationships. Does the phrase “public speaking” make you feel a little sick…even if it’s just a team meeting or a group conversation? I made something to help you. Calm Your Nerves in 90 Seconds is a free anxiety-r...
Feb 02, 2024•9 min
I’m reading David Fideler’s excellent book Breakfast with Seneca , where he quotes Seneca in one of his letters: “If you want to escape your troubles, you don't need to be somewhere else: you need to be someone else.” Those searching for meaning or purpose in life might think a new place will provide answers. But a new location, a new job, a new partner doesn’t guarantee a better life or a fresh start. Finding purpose involves understanding your values, interests, and goals. It’s internal work t...
Nov 25, 2023•11 min
Our intentions don’t always line up with our outcomes, and misunderstandings lead to anger, sadness, frustration, and conflict. In this episode, I’ll talk about intent vs impact, which is more important, and how to effectively and ethically communicate your intentions. Of course, I’ll be weaving in the timeless wisdom of the Stoics. Hi, I’m Sarah Mikutel, your communication and mindset coach, an Enneagram 9 expat in England, and practicing Stoic. Introverts come to me to learn to speak confident...
Nov 05, 2023•18 min
Introvert Emergency Kit Click here if you're ready to become a less anxious, more charismatic public speaker . When it comes to public speaking, what exactly are you afraid of? Most people I talk to don’t explore their fears at all – and this makes them worse. The thought of public speaking brings up such uncomfortable feelings that they try to ignore them or stuff them down – which is why they continue to suffer from speaking anxiety, one of the most common fears in the world. How is an amorpho...
Oct 14, 2023•21 min
We often hear how negative self-comparisons can be, especially when it comes to social media. But what if we could use comparison as a force for good? A tool to help us grow and flourish at work and in our personal lives? Great news, we can! Today you’ll learn how to stop negatively comparing yourself to others and start measuring your progress in healthier and more productive ways. Plus, you’ll learn the scientific theory about why you’re actually more likable the less perfect you are. Hi, I'm ...
Jul 31, 2023•22 min
Let's be real. We are smart people with an unhelpful habit of numbing out instead of taking action on our dreams. If you relate with any of the following then listen to this episode ASAP: - find it difficult to stay motivated and focused on goals - tendency to give in to distractions and urges that hinder progress - struggle with procrastination and over-indulgence in unproductive activities - regularly break commitments to yourself but never other people We all have our vices. That could be min...
Jul 15, 2023•31 min
Ever been cut off mid-sentence and feel a whirlwind of emotions – frustration, anger, embarrassment? Why do we, as Enneagram 9s, take interruptions so personally, and how can we handle them with grace? I'm your host, Sarah Mikutel, and in this episode, I dive into effective communication and mindset strategies that will help you be seen and heard. By the end, you'll be equipped to handle interruptions confidently, communicate effectively, and enjoy life with less anxiety. https://sarahmikutel.co...
Jun 24, 2023•22 min
What do courage and resilience truly mean? This Memorial Day, I reflect on the incredible bravery of the 'Greatest Generation' during World War II, drawing inspiration from my visits to historic locations such as Auschwitz and Churchill's War Rooms in London. From blackouts to rationing, the everyday experiences of European civilians during WWII serve as a testament to human resilience. In the film Saving Private Ryan, a dying Captain Miller says to Matt Damon's character: "Earn this." He was al...
May 29, 2023•27 min
Have you ever noticed how our thoughts and reactions can create unnecessary stress, or cultivate empathy and understanding for others? On a recent flight to Florida, I was reminded of the power of perception and emotional resiliency. I share the story of passengers clapping after a smooth landing, the reactions of those around me as a father rushed to exit the plane, and how the simple words of a child turned turbulence into an exciting adventure. Inspired by the wisdom of Epictetus, we'll discu...
May 21, 2023•7 min
Harvard researchers have been studying what makes people happy for decades. Since 1938, they’ve been following the same people, and then their families, to learn more about what makes a good life. This is the longest-running study of its kind involving hundreds of people across different walks of life. JFK was even involved when he was a student. So what did they discover in this happiness survey? Money, fame, and awards don’t lead to long-term happiness. Here’s what does — good relationships. T...
Feb 05, 2023•22 min
I’m hosting a 2023 Goal-Mapping Workshop on Jan. 14. It’s free and a replay will be available for a few days after if you register in advance . This isn’t a lecture – it’s a very interactive session. You’ll: Create a vision for your year that aligns with your values and priorities Break down your big goals into manageable tasks that don't overwhelm you Develop a plan of action to stay on track and avoid procrastination Prioritize your tasks and projects in a way that helps you stay focused and m...
Jan 12, 2023•4 min
Around January 1, we set goals that we intend to keep. But most of us break these vows before the month is over – why? What’s the real reason people won’t change? And how can we use Stoicism and modern psychology to start? To truly be free and move forward, we need to cultivate helpful thoughts and let go of unhelpful ones. This is how we become resilient and learn to flow with life instead of fighting it. But what if you’re not even aware of your unhelpful thoughts? I’ve talked about different ...
Jan 08, 2023•15 min
What does Auld Lang Syne mean and why is its message so important? Find out in this episode. Also, Happy New Year! What are your intentions for this year? https://sarahmikutel.com/ Does the phrase “public speaking” make you feel a little sick…even if it’s just a team meeting or a group conversation? I made something to help you. Calm Your Nerves in 90 Seconds is a free anxiety-reduction toolkit with a guided meditation and journal to help you communicate with confidence. Use it anytime your brai...
Jan 01, 2023•6 min
It’s that time of year when we encourage each other to slow down, appreciate what we have, and be present with others. But how do we stay in the moment when our minds keep drifting to what’s happening next week, or what occurred 10 years ago? That’s what this episode is about. Sarahmikutel.com Does the phrase “public speaking” make you feel a little sick…even if it’s just a team meeting or a group conversation? I made something to help you. Calm Your Nerves in 90 Seconds is a free anxiety-reduct...
Dec 23, 2022•17 min
“Putting things off is the biggest waste of life,” Seneca says, “it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today.” Seneca, On the Shortness of Life . Most of us don’t follow through on our New Year’s Resolutions because we treat them like wishes and not goals. Ideally, if we want to achieve a goal, we map out a plan to achieve it and follow through. Today’s episode i...
Jan 02, 2022•27 min
Quick reminder in case you need it…Even if you don’t feel like a particularly courageous person, you’ve acted bravely at some point in your life. Maybe you stood up for someone. Traveled solo. Moved abroad. Said no. Admitted when you were wrong. Jumped out of a plane. Cried in front of someone. You have what it takes to show up courageously every day, but that doesn’t just magically happen. Here are four daily practices you can do to build your courage (a core Stoic virtue) and resiliency. ❤️ He...
Dec 26, 2021•15 min
We live in an age of cowards. Of people going along with the crowd because it’s the easy thing to do. It feels safer to throw stones at the other side than it does to stand for something positive and hopeful. There’s risk in questioning things and seeking other perspectives, whereas joining in the mob costs us nothing (except perhaps our character). Courage is about stretching out of your comfort zone and doing the right thing. You won’t always get congratulated for that, but, when it comes to h...
Dec 19, 2021•18 min
Most of our suffering comes from thoughts that we let run wild in our brains. We spend a lot of time each day rehashing different conversations and situations in our mind, and we think that we’re just reviewing facts. But we’re not. We’re reflecting on our own points of view, assuming what others think, worrying about the future, and ruminating about the past. The ancient Stoics understood that our thoughts are nothing more than stories we tell ourselves. And modern mental health professionals a...
Dec 05, 2021•19 min
Janus is the Roman god of beginnings and endings, transitions and passageways, doorways and duality, amongst several other things. And he was one of my favorite sculptures in my town’s art Triennial this year, formally known as the Creative Folkestone Triennial 2021. High up on the East Cliff, in a little park overlooking the ocean, stood this massive head of Janus, who’s typically portrayed with two faces, one facing toward the future and the other face looking toward the past. That's what this...
Nov 28, 2021•16 min
A few months ago, I downloaded the Waking Up meditation app. Founder Sam Harris compares the average mind with a sky clouded with light pollution. He says that meditation is like building a telescope that can cut through that fogginess so you can access “the sky of the mind.” And that’s what the Enneagram and Stoicism help us do, as well. Cut through the clouds to get more clarity and set us free from our patterns. But we can’t change who we are by simply thinking about it, or passively reading ...
Jul 20, 2021•20 min
In my episode on Stoicism and the Art of Happiness, Donald Robertson offered some techniques we can use to manage our anger toward people who hold views that we strongly disagree with. Today I want to talk to you about becoming more aware of your anger style, and to share more practices you can use to conquer your anger and also to learn from it. And you might learn about your partner or parent’s anger style, as well. Because we don’t all experience anger in the same way. Some people think they ...
Jul 13, 2021•25 min
For several years I've been interviewing women like myself who packed up everything to start a new adventure in another part of the world. One of the core values that I talk about is that we will never have this day again -- make it matter. It's my softer way of saying 'If you died tomorrow, would you be satisfied with how you lived this day?' I knew I didn't invent this way of thinking but I didn't realize that Stoics have been talking about this for thousands of years until I learned about the...
Jul 04, 2021•38 min
Even though I haven't lived in the U.S. for 10 years, I've been in Italy and England for most of this time , I still pay close attention to my home country. At the time of this recording, it's 2020. The U.S. just ended the most contentious and vitriolic political campaign season I've seen in my lifetime. I see the divisiveness and bitter partisanship. People are becoming more tribal. Canceling out opposing views. At the same time people seem desperate for connection and to be part of something g...
Jun 27, 2021•29 min
