Make It Stick: A Simple Way to Savor Your Wins

I also believe in something just as important slowing down to savor the wins you've already had . This came up in a conversation with a client recently . She casually mentioned leading a meeting where the CEO dropped in at the last minute .

Hang on , I said there was a time when an executive popping into one of your meetings would have sent you into a total death spiral , and it sounds like it didn't happen this time . And she laughed and said oh yeah , it wasn't the best presentation I've ever given , but it was fine and I didn't have a panic attack . So we slow down to celebrate that .

This is a practice I do with all my clients . Sometimes they don't realize how far they've come because their growth has become their new normal , and other times they're in such a rush to tackle the next big thing that they move past the progress they've made . But according to research , feeling like you're making progress is what keeps you going .

The authors of the progress principle found that even small wins can boost our confidence and motivation . We can't wait for massive breakthroughs to celebrate . We need to honor the small shifts too . That's how you build sustainable change . Still , a lot of us downplay these moments . I'll have clients who say , still , a lot of us downplay these moments .

I'll have clients who say , okay , I know this isn't a big deal for most people Step If it matters to you . It is a big deal If you stretch yourself . This is worth honoring One of my favorite writers and researchers , rick Hansen . He's also senior fellow at UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center .

He puts it this way the brain is like Velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good . So the negative stuff sticks and the positive stuff just slides right out of our brains . And unless we take time to really feel that win whether it's going to the gym three days in a row or speaking up in a meeting our brains just tend to forget that stuff .

Again , because of the human brain's negativity bias , negative moments stick around and the positive ones just slide right out of our heads , unless we train ourselves to notice and absorb the good . This is why I have clients savor their wins to pause and reflect on this evidence of who they are becoming .

Bj Fogg , founder of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University , says celebrating our tiny wins is fundamental to solidifying new habits . This is Fundamental to solidifying new habits . This is , quote , something you do to create positive emotions , such as saying I did a good job . You celebrate immediately after doing the new tiny behavior . End quote .

And this is from his book Tiny Habits . You may have heard the phrase slow down to speed up . You may have heard the phrase slow down to speed up . Slowing down to notice your growth helps reinforce the habits , the mindset , the identity that will help you achieve those goals that you set back in January . And , more importantly , you're celebrating

being the kind of person who does what you say you'll do . This is about who you are celebrating your internal progress . You become what you give your attention to . So if you only focus on what went wrong , you are going to stay mired in that . So zoom out and train your brain to see life more clearly .

When you do this , you'll find moments where things went right , where you showed up in the way that you wanted to . Here is what Epictetus has to say about this Quote If you don't want to be bad-tempered , then don't feed the habit . Throw nothing before it on which it can feed and grow . Keep calm and count the days in which you haven't lost your temper .

So be mindful and say I used to lose my temper every day , and after that every other day , then every third day , then every fourth . That's from

Discourses 218 , robin Hard Translation . Change isn't immediate . It happens through consistent , intentional repetition , and noticing your wins , however small , is part of that . It's how you shift from wanting to be a certain kind of person to becoming them , and this applies to life outside of work too .

Yesterday I was sitting on the beach burying my nephew's toes in the sand . I felt the grains in my hands , I heard the ocean , I smelled the sea air and I looked at my nephew's face and felt this huge wave of gratitude and I realized I'm not going to be able to do this . This is also something to celebrate .

I made the decision to extend my trip by three weeks so I could spend more time with him , because spending time with family is important to me . It's something that I value . So I chose this , and I'm glad I did so .

I'm letting it in the sound , the smell , the sun , the feeling of being where I want to be , with the people I love and living in alignment with my values . So I'm savoring that too . If you want to try this for yourself , here are a few questions you can ask what's something I did this year that scared me , but I did it anyway ?

What's a win , big or small , that I'm proud of ? When did I show up in a way I wasn't able to before ? Who did I make time for ? When did I act on what matters to me ? And if this feels hard , if nothing is coming to mind , start small . Think of a moment when you didn't spiral , when you spoke up , when you kept a promise to yourself .

That is progress . When you spoke up , when you kept a promise to yourself , that is progress . Take one small action today and when you do , let yourself feel that sense of accomplishment . Progress over perfection . This is who you're becoming .

This is how character is built .