Gay Men Going Deeper is a weekly podcast that showcases raw and real conversations about personal development, mental health, and sexuality - from an unapologetically gay perspective.
Hosted by Matt Landsiedel and Michael DiIorio, and featuring a wide range of special guests, you can expect to be inspired, entertained, and even a little triggered from time to time.
This provocative podcast is for anyone who craves deeper conversations on topics ranging from spirituality to sexuality - and everything in between.
Visit us at www.GayMenGoingDeeper.com
Support the show: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=LT55M79CMH5FN
In this episode, Matt speaks with Psychotherapist, Merle Yost , about how shame may influence sexual desire and arousal by eroticizing shame as a way of coping with it. Merle shares his story about being sexually molested by his father and the impact this had on his sexual development. Join us for this interesting topic that is often not talked about but deeply impacts many of us. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: What does it mean to eroticize shame? How do shame ...
Communication is at the heart of every relationship—whether it’s with friends, partners, colleagues, or even yourself. But what does it actually mean to be a strong communicator? In this episode, we’re diving into the key skills that make conversations more effective, engaging, and authentic. Join us as we discuss: What makes a strong communicator? The role of emotional intelligence in communication Common barriers that create conflict and misunderstandings Practical tips to improve your listeni...
They didn’t teach us about gay sex in school… so we had to teach ourselves. From porn to awkward trial-and-error hookups, most of us pieced together our own “education”—for better or worse. In this episode, Michael is joined by porn star turned sex educator, Patrick Marano , to talk about the sex ed we should have had, how we’ve had to create it for ourselves, and why stigma and censorship still keep gay men in the dark. Some of the topics covered in this episode: 🔹 How conventional sex ed...
Is your dating profile truly showing the best version of you? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper , we're diving into the do's and don'ts of crafting a profile that is aligned with what you’re truly looking for. On the apps, your profile is the first impression that counts so whether you're looking for love, fun, or meaningful connections, it matters. Some topics we’ll discuss: What it means to show your authentic self without being cringy Choosing the best photos Crafting a bio that s...
Matt and Shay discuss the psychology of erectile dysfunction in gay men, exploring unique reasons and solutions. They share personal stories, the impact of societal pressures, and the importance of mindset. The episode also covers internalized homophobia, sex culture, and the need for self-compassion, encouraging listeners to seek help and normalize the conversation around ED.
This episode explores the impact of dating and hookup apps on the gay community, discussing the negative aspects like superficial connections, dehumanization, and the loss of queer spaces. The hosts share personal experiences and insights, reflecting on the grief and frustration that can arise from app overuse. They also offer practical tips for maintaining a positive relationship with dating apps, emphasizing self-awareness, discernment, and the importance of creating meaningful connections both online and offline.
Michael and Pepper discuss the concept of empowered bottoms, challenging outdated stereotypes and celebrating bottoms who own their pleasure, set boundaries, and take charge of their sexual experiences. They delve into the differences between power bottoms and empowered bottoms, the importance of advocating for oneself, and the significance of sexual health and open communication in the bedroom. This conversation encourages listeners to embrace their desires and reject shame in their sexual expression.
This episode explores monogamy within gay relationships, challenging the myth that it doesn't work and examining the stigmas surrounding it. The hosts discuss the benefits of monogamy, the reasons some gay couples may choose non-monogamy, and the essential elements for successful monogamous relationships, including communication, devotion, and sexual compatibility. Personal experiences and research are shared, promoting curiosity and understanding towards both monogamous and non-monogamous choices.
In this episode, Matt speaks with therapist and author Tom Bruett about the struggles many gay men face with romantic relationships. Together they share decades of experience when it comes to understanding the relational challenges faced by gay men. From toxic shame to developmental trauma, they unpack what causes these challenges and how to start healing and empowering ourselves in our relationships. If you are someone who struggles in your romantic relationships with intimacy, vulnerabil...
What happens when friendship and intimacy collide? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re exploring the nuanced dynamics of friends with benefits (FWB) and friends with intimacy (FWI). But what happens when emotions sneak in, boundaries blur, or feelings start to change? We’ll discuss: Defining FWB vs. FWI: What they mean, how they’re different from dating or hookups, and what these relationships can look like. Boundaries: Essential skills like self-awareness, clear communication, and re...
The first year after coming out can feel like an emotional rollercoaster—exciting, scary, and full of questions. How do you navigate this transformative time while finding your community, and embracing your authentic self? In this episode, we’re talking about the unique challenges and opportunities that come with living out for the first time. We’ll discuss: What was your first year out like? What are some common struggles newly out gay men face, and how can they overcome them? How do you figure...
In this episode, Matt speaks with world-renowned trauma treatment expert, Harvard-trained psychiatrist, and psychotherapist Dr. Frank Anderson. Let’s be honest, trauma isn't the most glamorous topic to talk about, but it significantly impacts us as gay men, and our community is in desperate need of healing from the trauma of growing up gay that we each likely experienced. This episode is a raw and real exploration of the impact growing up gay can have on us. Many of us had the pressure and...
Living in the closet is a unique experience that queer people must face. Yet each person’s journey is shaped by culture, family dynamics, and social pressures. For some, living in the closet is about safety and survival. For others, it’s the first step in a journey toward self-acceptance and authenticity. In this episode, we explore what it’s really like to live in the closet and the complex emotions that come with it. We discuss: What was was like for you living in the closet? What did it take ...
Coming out to our families can be one of the most difficult experiences we navigate as queer folk. Sometimes it can be made even more difficult if the people we are opening up to are challenged by it, or don’t understand it. Other times, we may find ourselves in the company of people who do understand, or simply meet our openness with their own. Or, in this case, sometimes what we experience is a combination of both. This is a unique episode, because today our co-host Reno is sitting down with n...
Big things are on the horizon for the Gay Men’s Brotherhood in 2025, and we can’t wait to share them with you! In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on our vision for the future— including new opportunities and exciting changes you can expect in the year ahead including: Opportunities for local meetup groups New virtual events In-person retreats Leadership opportunities We’ll also talk about the ways you can step into the mission, make an impact, and help us shape the...
Whether you love it or hate it, hookup culture is a part of gay culture—and if you look a little closer, it just might be a powerful tool for self-discovery. In this episode, we’re diving into the real-life lessons our casual hookups taught us about confidence, boundaries, and self-love. We’re going beyond the benefits and drawbacks of hookup culture, and sharing how these experiences have shaped who we are This episode is for anyone curious about navigating hookup culture with more clarity and ...
On this week’s episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, Matt interviews the “dick doctor” Urologist Dr. Joshua Gonzalez. They candidly explore some of the most taboo topics related to the penis. From erectile dysfunction to circumcision, increasing your size to foreskin, we got you covered. Topics we discuss in this episode: Circumcision Foreskin Erectile dysfunction Premature ejaculation Masturbation All things cum Penis size Pelvic health Peyronie's disease Th...
On this week’s episode of Gay Men Going Deeper , we're diving into The Sexuality Spectrum . From fluid attractions and shifting needs to understanding social conditioning and embracing different sexual dynamics, we’re exploring the dynamic range of human sexuality and how it shows up uniquely for each of us. Some of the topics we’ll be discussing are: Some of the aspects of the sexuality spectrum, including emotional needs, affection, and attraction How shame and social conditioning impact...
Curious about whether therapy or coaching is the best fit for you? In this insightful episode, life coach Michael Diiorio and therapist Michael Pezzullo team up to break down the unique benefits of each approach, guiding you through the key differences, overlaps, and the powerful results each modality can help you achieve. Both Michaels bring their unique expertise in helping gay men navigate life’s challenges and find personal growth, and they’re here to answer the big question: What’s right fo...
On this week’s episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're diving into how to build trust in relationships . Many gay men report having trust issues in their relationships due to growing up in a world that felt unsafe and unaccepting of our authentic selves If you struggle with trust issues in your relationships then this episode is a must. Come gain more clarity around any barriers you have to trusting people, as well as what may be required for you to build trust with someone. Also what you can do ...
In this episode, we’re shifting the focus from red flags to the positive signs that show up when dating— green flags . Join us as we reveal the positive traits and behaviors that indicate someone would be a compatible long-term partner. We’ll discuss: What green flags we look for and why they matter The green flags that we bring to the table What green flags we see in each other How to tell if those green flags are genuine or just part of “the honeymoon phase” Whether you’re new to the dat...
In this episode, we’re talking about those warning signs and signals to look out for in potential partners and how to manage these warning signs with care and confidence. We’ll reveal our red flags, both in others and in ourselves, and how we respond to them when they show up in our dating lives. Some of the topics we cover in this episode are: Common red flags to look out for and why they matter Red flags we might bring into dating and how they affect relationships Strategies for dealing with r...
Are open relationships really about avoiding commitment, or is there more to the story? In today’s episode, Michael is joined by Dr. Israel Martinez to unpack the common misconceptions around consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and explore how commitment and connection can flourish in open relationships. We’ll be discussing: Common misconceptions about CNM and monogamy How to determine your ideal relationship style What is a relationship anchor and how to find it The role of trust, communication, and ...
In today’s episode, we’re going deeper into the topic of resilience—what it really means and how we can develop it, especially as gay men and our unique challenges. We’ll explore how the struggles we face, from feeling out of place to dealing with minority stress, can become powerful tools for personal growth. Resilience isn’t just about pushing through; it’s about learning, adapting, and thriving in the face of adversity. Some of the topics we’re discussing today include: The difference between...
In this episode, Matt and Reno come together for their first duo episode to talk about their experiences with depression. They share openly about what causes depression in their lives and what they have done to deal with it. If you are someone who struggles with depression, we want you to know you are not alone. It is so important to normalize conversations about aspects of mental health that are still stigmatized. We hope this episode leaves you feeling seen, and offers you some ways to support...
Have you ever felt like you just don’t belong in the gay community? In today’s episode, we’re tackling the deep and painful feeling of not fitting in—a sentiment shared by many gay men. Some of the topics we’re exploring today are: How do we feel excluded vs. how do we feel included? Belonging vs. fitting in Vulnerability Judging others and ourselves Core wounding and attachment trauma Fear of rejection Fostering more inclusive spaces If you’ve ever felt like an outsider or if you wa...
In honour of National Coming Out Day, we’re diving deep into a sentiment many gay men have struggled with at some point: "I wish I wasn’t gay." While this feeling may seem contradictory on a day meant to celebrate coming out, it’s a reality for many who grapple with their sexual orientation and the journey to self-acceptance. In this episode, we unpack the challenges of embracing your authentic self, including: How we came to accept our sexuality Would we change our sexuality if we could? Words ...
In this episode, we welcome Somatic Intimacy Coach, Vance Hedman , for an insightful discussion on the importance of both mindset work and somatic body work when dealing with emotional pain and discomfort. We delve into how each approach can be uniquely beneficial in different scenarios, particularly when it comes to intimacy, building friendships, and deepening relationships. Some of the concepts we cover today are: How mindset work and body work are different and how they are similar How each ...
In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper , we dive into the complexities of the inner critic—the voice in our heads that often feeds perfectionism, shame, and self-doubt. While it can feel like a harsh and relentless judge, the inner critic is actually trying to protect you in its own way. We explore how to better understand this part of ourselves, offering strategies for befriending the inner critic and cultivating a mindset of self-compassion. Some of the topics covered today are: How the inner...
Today we’re tackling the universal struggle of comparing ourselves to others. Whether it’s about body image, social status, or relationships, comparison can have a negative impact on our mental health, leading to a cycle of insecurity and self-doubt. In this episode, we’re looking at how to break the cycle and actually re-frame it for your personal development. Join us as we dive into how to compare consciously and mindfully, transforming it into a tool that actually serves you instead of tearin...
