Use this podcast episode when you’re part way through any course, season, or year of your life, and you want to regroup and make the second half a win. It’s a strategic pause. A time to huddle at half time so you can plan out the second half and finish strong. Currently, we’re halfway through summer – We only get 18 of them with our kids. And often, we let it blow by and realize we didn’t make time for most of the stuff we’d hoped to do. Listen to today’s episode and leave with specific tactics ...
Jul 02, 2024•12 min
It feels like a reasonable thought to not want your kid to fail – To not want them to be disappointed. BUT, that leaves us over-advising before and after their games, and trying to minimize their crushed spirits when they lose. Since disappointment is an unavoidable emotion, it’s more helpful to teach our kids how to manage it rather than avoid it. Listen to today’s episode to help you lower the stakes at your kids’ games and connect with them during failure. Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map Thi...
Jun 25, 2024•13 min
The opposite of ownership is the victim mindset. And even the best of us slip into it sometimes. If our kids would friggen listen. If our employee would... If the city would... If our wife would... It feels frustrating because we want to control something that's out of our control. Listen to today's episode to learn how to spot when you've dropped into a victim mindset, and how to step out of it to take ownership in each area of your life. Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map This roadmap will teach...
Jun 18, 2024•13 min
When it comes to our dads, I see guys fall into one of three camps: My dad wasn’t around. My dad was around, but he wasn’t a great dad. I strive to be more like my dad. Or maybe you’re a blend of two of the above. No matter which camp you fall into, that father/son relationship is driving your actions today. That’s why you want to take a look, and make sure you’ve got a helpful perspective fueling your decisions. Tune into today’s episode for some tools that’ll remove blocks and drive you to be ...
Jun 07, 2024•12 min
As men, here's where we tend to get visualization wrong: 1. We don’t do it. Visualization is a powerful tool, but like a brand new drill we let sit in the unopened box, the tool goes unused. 2. We picture the past that we don’t want to repeat. The future holds every possibility. We make the mistake of narrowing it down to what happened last time. 3. We fixate on a future we're afraid of – a future we DON’T want. But like Epictetus said, “You become what you give your attention to.” Today's epids...
Jun 04, 2024•16 min
If life is a game, how do you want to perform? And like any game, we gotta practice. We can’t expect to play at a high level if we don’t put in the work outside of game time. And it doesn’t take much. Here are the top 3 drills you can run that’ll allow you to win in the game of life: ☝️ BREATH WORK. It’s a quick hack to lower the intensity of your emotions. ✌️ WATCH YOUR GAME FILM. Reflect on how you want to perform differently next time. 🤟 GET A COACH. Put in one hour each week to strategize, ...
May 28, 2024•14 min
We’re all playing a game. 👉 Maybe it’s the finance game. 👉 Maybe it’s the “I’m right, you’re wrong” game. 👉 Maybe it’s the happiness game – If I’m happy and feeling good, I’m winning. But none of those games are the competition that really matters. What really matters is the relationship game. If your marriage isn’t great, if your kids don’t want to be around you, it doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank. The problem is, a lot of men don’t know how to win at the relationship game...
May 21, 2024•12 min
Did you know there are no straight lines in nature? Our brains are more visually stimulated in the forest than they are in our living room. That’s one of the thousands of reasons it feels so friggen good to be in nature. And the longer we’ve been in our hustle-bustle-live-inside-the-box world, the more likely we are to flip out at our kids or stress out at work. Nature is a hack to more patience and presence in our everyday world. Listen to today's episode of the Durable Dad podcast and let natu...
May 14, 2024•11 min
Psychologists describe anger as a secondary emotion. There’s always a primary emotion that’s driving the anger. Picture an iceberg – Anger is just at the tip. Another emotion is beneath the surface that’s causing your anger to bubble up. So if you notice yourself getting triggered easily, check in to see what’s really going on. Here’s what most men are experiencing beneath the surface: Stress Shame Fear Sadness Four super uncomfortable emotions that we tend to push down, causing an explosion lat...
May 07, 2024•11 min
Are you the master of your phone or vice versa? It’s an incredible tool, but it distracts us from our kids and interrupts our productivity. And it takes some vigilance to rise above the masses, rise above the marketing and media, so that our phones serve us rather than the other way around. Today's episode of the Durable Dad podcast will help you to manage your urges around your phone. You’ll learn to sit with that tension of hearing a text message come in without allowing it to pull you from yo...
Apr 30, 2024•13 min
A midlife crisis happens when we stop feeling excited about life. But it's really just a calling – A calling to change or do something different. It's the start of what Joseph Campbell calls your "Hero's Journey." When you answer the calling and embark on the adventure to make a change, you start to feel more alive. You'll hit challenges, discomfort, probably over some some fear, but you'll return with a new set of skills, wisdom, and attributes you can take to you family and your community. Som...
Apr 23, 2024•19 min
If you feel isolated, you’re not the only one. We don’t make friends as easily as we did in high school and college. Yet, having guys at your back – guys you can count on – is something every man can use in his life. To talk about real stuff – below the surface conversations. To check in when things are rough. All men need that. Today’s episode talks about the benefits of fellowship vs friendship, and how to go about creating both in your life. Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map This roadmap will ...
Apr 16, 2024•10 min
Learning to say you’re sorry is one of the best tools you can have in your tool belt. Because we all screw up. Especially with our kids. If we learn how to apologize, not only do we build trust and respect with our kids, but we model what it means to own up to our mistakes. Today, I’m going to cover five rules that’ll help you apologize effectively: 1: It’s never too late. 2: Don’t do it while you’re still heated. 3: Don’t blame your kid 4: Don’t apologize for your anger. Apologize for your acti...
Apr 09, 2024•12 min
Our calendars reflect our priorities. So take a look at your calendar – Is it full of appointments that matter? For most guys, what matters more than anything is your relationship with your wife and kids. Quality time with your family. But if you're like most guys, that time is tough to squeeze in on a regular basis. We let soccer games, work meetings, and our phones get in the way. This podcast is a reminder of what matters most. Your kids are only this age once. Tune in for motivation to make ...
Apr 02, 2024•12 min
Why do some of us avoid conflict? Especially with our wife? The main reason is because we look at conflict as a competition. We wanna be right. And if we’re not going to be right, then we avoid the conversation altogether. This doesn’t strengthen the relationship. Today's episode will teach you 4 ways to communicate better with your spouse and CONNECT when there’s a disagreement: Don’t look at it as a competition. No one “wins” or “loses.” Don’t take it personally. It’s not about your competence...
Mar 26, 2024•16 min
"Life was easier without my wife and kids." This thought might bubble up, especially when your to-do list is overwhelming and work pressure is high. It's an urge to go back to simpler times with less responsibilities and less people to take care of. It's not a thought men are proud of. Not something they talk about. Yet, talking about it and giving it some airtime is usually the most helpful way to navigate it. The more we shove it down, the louder it tends to get. Then it's running in our subco...
Mar 19, 2024•14 min
Money can't buy happiness. We know, we know, we know. YET, our brains (and social media) talk us out of this wisdom daily. Hourly. Today's episode of the Durable Dad podcast will take you closer to that freedom of needing less. It's not about making less money. It's NEEDING less that feels good. A lot of men create their own pressure just by wanting more. Tune in to loosen the grip finances have on you so you can earn your money from a place of freedom and gratitude rather than pressure. Stop Lo...
Mar 12, 2024•15 min
Imposter syndrome feels like shit. Fear. Pressure. That feeling like everyone’s gonna realize you don’t deserve to be where you’re at. It’s not a helpful place to be. BUT, it’s also not a bad place to be. It means you’re challenging yourself. Imposter syndrome is a good sign that you’re evolving, but we don’t want to stay there. We wanna smile at it, and move past it. I give you a few steps on how to do that in today's episode of the Durable Dad podcast. So if you’re feeling imposter syndrome, g...
Mar 05, 2024•12 min
The opposite of emotional agility is emotional rigidity – When we stiffen up against an emotion, causing it (and us) to get stuck. Think: procrastination, over-thinking or a bad mood. Emotional agility allows a man to experience something bad and bounce back to a productive state two minutes later. But before we can get there, we need to know what’s going on below our head. Most guys are great at thinking. Not as strong at feeling. Feeling is a skill, and I guide you through it in a new way in t...
Feb 27, 2024•13 min
What do you do when your wife is clearly overreacting? When she’s being illogical or “crazy.” It’s easy to throw up our hands and walk away. Or just get pissed. But the truth is, that makes the situation worse. Your wife is having a hard time in those moments. She might not communicate it in the most adult-like way, but she can use some support. It’s an opportunity to get closer and strengthen the relationship. So we want to be the calm, supportive emotional adult in those moments. We want to sh...
Feb 20, 2024•21 min
The top three lies men tell themselves: 1. It’s no big deal 2. I’m confident 3. I’m grateful All of these thoughts seem helpful. All of them ARE helpful if we believe it. But sometimes deep down, what actually feels true is: 1. I’m having a hard time. 2. I’m scared 3. I’m suffering When we brush our struggles under the rug, they keep us stuck. Rather than breeze over them, we want to face the music. Acknowledge what’s actually true for us so we can address it and move past it. This episode will ...
Feb 13, 2024•16 min
How do we handle someone who’s pissed off? We don’t want to shut down And we don’t want to mirror their anger. That just escalates things. The antidote to another person’s anger is curiosity. 🔦💡 Curiosity about yourself and what you’re feeling in that moment. Noticing your emotions will loosen the grip they have on you. And then curiosity about the other person. You want to seek a genuine understanding of what they’re thinking. There's an art to keeping cool amidst another's anger, but it's al...
Feb 06, 2024•14 min
Does your job define you? Who are you without your job? It's easy for men to get convoluted on their worthiness outside of their job. But when we're able to separate ourselves and understand that our career is independent from our identity, we're able to approach problems at work with a stoic, clear head. We don't take feedback personally. We don't allow projects to interfere with our family life. And we don't lose sleep due to work stress. Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map This roadmap will teac...
Jan 30, 2024•14 min
Viktor Frankl's book, Man’s Search for Meaning, gives a different perspective on the question we ask all the time. I think I had this idea that I’d read the book and have all the big answers. But it’s actually a lot easier than that. Frankl said that, “Man should not ask what is the meaning of his life, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked.” Because we create our meaning. And according to logo therapy, we can do that: By creating a work or doing a deed. By experiencing somethi...
Jan 16, 2024•17 min
What do you do with a comment that catches you off guard? One that really throws you for a loop? Some of us might lash out. Say something we later regret. Or we might freeze and wish we said something after the fact. But there's a third option that allows us to respond from a place of calm wisdom. There are 2 things we can do to make sure we're caught off guard less often so we can act in a measured way more often: 1. Don't expect a perfect scenario 2. Learn to only care about the important thin...
Jan 16, 2024•13 min
Embracing hardship is a non-negotiable part of life. We can quit on our goals and tell ourselves we're choosing the "easy path," but there's a sneaky hard in quitting – staying exactly where you are. As the specter of National Quitters Day looms, I tackle the temptation to join the ranks of those who've let go of their aspirations. This episode is an unflinching look at why the reward of personal growth is always worth the sweat and tears. So, gear up for a discussion that promises to keep you m...
Jan 09, 2024•12 min
What better topic to discuss at the start of the new year than your death? :) Nothing, you'll come to learn, will ignite change and ruthless prioritization better than remembering your inevitable death. Join me in the exploration of the ancient practice of Momento Mori, and why it's so powerful to keep the end of your life top of mind. This episode promises to reshape your perspective and equip you with the philosophical toolkit needed for a more meaningful, intentional year ahead. Stop Losing Y...
Jan 02, 2024•12 min
Joy is like happiness on steroids. Most men would like more of it in their lives, but it's not a topic we talk about a lot. Here's 4 ways to conjure up and spread some joy. Happy Holidays! Stop Losing Your Temper Road Map This roadmap will teach you how to have more patience. To give your kids more time and attention. Anger isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility. Learn how to manage it so it doesn't get the best of you. https://www.tommygcoaching.com/roadmap...
Dec 26, 2023•11 min
Today we're going to talk about doing year-end reviews. A lot has happened over the last 365 days and we don't want to just move forward without getting some of that knowledge and wisdom and bringing it with us into the new year. We answer what is a year-end review and the effect it has on our mindset. It doesn't matter if you crushed 2023 or if is was a rough year, you'll learn why a year-end review will propel you into positive change for 2024. Want a step by step process, check out The Year-E...
Dec 19, 2023•19 min
Have you ever asked yourself, "What makes a good dad?" No being a hot head and... what else? On this episode of the Durable Dad we go on the journey of defining a path in fatherhood. We also dive into the depths of growth, both physical and emotional, as an integral part of parenthood. From pushing our children to develop holistically, teaching them kindness, patience, and respectfulness. And yes, we talk about how leading by example sometimes trumps instruction. But it's not all serious, so sit...
Dec 12, 2023•20 min
