In Part 2 of Libby's conversation with Emily Nagoski, there's a deeper conversation about the concept of "maintenance s*x" and how you may be doing it to safe your relationship, but it may actually be destroying it. Emily Nagoski's website: https://www.emilynagoski.com/ Emily Nagoski on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enagoski/ Emily Nagoski's books (highly recommended!): https://bookshop.org/contributors/emily-nagoski-4318b5e2-0f22-4415-963b-ce5a1f467607...
Jul 02, 2024•27 min•Ep. 118
The amazing Emily Nagoski joins Libby on Making Polyamory Work to drop truth bomb after truth bomb about sex in long-term relationships. Emily Nagoski's website: https://www.emilynagoski.com/ Emily Nagoski on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enagoski/ Emily Nagoski's books (highly recommended!): https://bookshop.org/contributors/emily-nagoski-4318b5e2-0f22-4415-963b-ce5a1f467607...
Jun 25, 2024•26 min•Ep. 117
The Multiamory crew takes over Making Polyamory Work to talk about aggressive fairness in polyamory, what it looks like, and how you can find equity in your relationships. Multiamory's website: https://www.multiamory.com/
Jun 18, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 116
Let's think about dating and rejection differently. Shine your light.
Jun 11, 2024•17 min•Ep. 115
What happens when your relationship (or your life) doesn't look the way you thought it would or were told it was supposed to look? Libby talks with Carrie Jeroslow about how having a relationship diversity mindset may help you make peace and even embrace with how your life and love actually work for YOU. Carrie's Website: https://www.carriejeroslow.com/
Jun 04, 2024•58 min•Ep. 114
If you're struggling and need help with your relationships, where should you turn? Libby shares her advice on how to find good help. Meta analyses of studies that show that therapeutic alliance matters more than therapeutic modality for positive outcomes in therapy: https://psycnet.apa.org/PsycARTICLES/journal/pst/55/4 APA article explaining: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/11/ce-corner-relationships
May 28, 2024•37 min•Ep. 113
What is compersion? Can you cultivate compersion in yourself and in your relationships? Libby invites Marie Thouin, PhD to discuss her research and book on this important and sometimes misunderstood topic in polyamory. Marie's book! https://rowman.com/ISBN/9781538183939/What-Is-Compersion-Understanding-Positive-Empathy-in-Consensually-Non-Monogamous-Relationships Marie's Compersion Resources: https://www.whatiscompersion.com/ Marie's Coaching Website: https://www.loveinsight-dating.c...
May 21, 2024•53 min•Ep. 112
Libby is joined by Genevieve King of Chill Polyamory to discuss individualism, community care, and ways you can shift your mindset to ecological thinking within polyamorous (or not!) relationship structures. Genevieve's Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/chillpolyamory Genevieve on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3PUizxdp_vj2A5fUdBgzgw Genevieve's website: https://www.chillpolyamory.com/
May 14, 2024•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 111
Libby invites Courtney Brame of Something Positive for Positive People to discuss herpes, stigma, and sexual health. Something Positive for Positive People: https://www.spfpp.org/ SPFPP Podcast: https://www.spfpp.org/podcast Herpes Stigma Virtual Conference in May: https://www.spfpp.org/offerings/p/conferences Courtney's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/courtneybrame_/
May 07, 2024•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 115
Libby discusses the distinction between offers and requests in relating and how important it can be to make sure you're saying what you actually mean. Kai Cheng Thom's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kaichengthom/?hl=en Spectrum of Consent: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kvYW4eSVKRuwUt5Mc-DnCyNVzvA036f8/view?usp=sharing Marcia Baczynski on Desire Smuggling: https://askingforwhatyouwant.com/desire-smuggler/ 27 Alternatives to "Is this Okay?": https://askingforwhatyouwant....
Apr 30, 2024•29 min•Ep. 109
Libby talks with AASECT-certified sexuality educator Aubri Lancaster about asexuality and aromanticism. Aubri's website: https://acesexeducation.com/ Aubri's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/acesexeducation/
Apr 23, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 108
Libby shares her thoughts about debate about whether hierarchy is bad or wrong in polyamory. Additional reading: Lola Phoenix - the Hierarchy Polyamorous People Don't Talk Enough About: https://www.nonmonogamyhelp.com/the-hierarchy-polyamorous-people-dont-talk-enough-about/ Ready for Polyamory - Is there a Problem with Hierarchy https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/guest-post-is-there-a-problem-with-hierarchy Poly.Land - Sneakiarchy: https://poly.land/2018/11/01/sneakiarchy-secret-hierarch...
Apr 16, 2024•49 min•Ep. 109
Most folks practicing nonmonogamy accept that no one person can meet all their needs. And yet, sometimes it can be challenging when a new partner starts meeting needs that haven't been met by an established relationship. In this episode Libby explores the trickiness when new relationships fulfill desires that established ones don't some ideas to help you navigate this situation well. There’s Nothing to Fear: https://www.makingpolyamorywork.com/episodes/theres-nothing-to-fear 9 Relationsh...
Feb 20, 2024•51 min•Ep. 106
This week Libby shares a re-release from December 2019 about the science of compassion, and why it's key to loving relationships, including the one with yourself. The Gottman Institute on Contempt: https://www.gottman.com/blog/this-one-thing-is-the-biggest-predictor-of-divorce/ The Harvard Business Review on Self-Compassion: https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion About the Carleton University Study on Self-Compassion and Procrastination: https://www.psycho...
Feb 13, 2024•16 min•Ep. 105
Part two of Libby's conversation with Dr. Joli Hamilton where they discuss how navigating differences can open a relationship and the people in it into transformation. Joli's website: https://www.jolihamilton.com/ The Year of Opening: https://www.jolihamilton.com/TYO
Feb 06, 2024•34 min•Ep. 104
What happens when exploring different relationship styles reveals uncomfortable differences between you and a partner? In this episode, Libby talks with Dr. Joli Hamilton about polyamory as a sacred process of individuation and grief. Joli's website: https://www.jolihamilton.com/ The Year of Opening: https://www.jolihamilton.com/TYO
Jan 30, 2024•29 min•Ep. 103
Long-requested, Libby discusses solo polyamory with Crystal Byrd Farmer, author, organizer, diversity consultant.. and solo polyamorist. SHOW LINKS: Crystal's website: https://crystalbyrdfarmer.com/ Crystal's book: https://newsociety.com/books/t/the-token Solo polyamory: https://solopoly.net/2014/12/05/what-is-solo-polyamory-my-take/...
Jan 23, 2024•59 min•Ep. 102
In this part 2, Libby and Alyssa talk through some of the challenges that can show up in nonmonogamy for people who are neurodiverse
Jan 02, 2024•36 min•Ep. 101
Libby and Alyssa discuss being neurodiverse and how polyamory and being neurodiverse can complement each other beautifully.
Dec 26, 2023•52 min•Ep. 100
Triangles show up in relationships all over the place. In this episode Libby discusses triangulation, what it is, common ways it can show up in polyamory, and whether triangulation can harm or help.
Dec 19, 2023•30 min•Ep. 99
Libby talks through when she personally does NOT opt for boundaries, and why boundaries are often the last move she will make in navigating relationship difficulties.
Dec 12, 2023•22 min•Ep. 98
Libby and Jules answer a listener who asks, "If boundaries are between you and you, then what is a boundary violation?" Jules also goes over her 6 steps to setting an external boundary. Jules' Website: https://www.julianetaylorshore.com/ Jules Book, Setting Boundaries that Stick: https://bookshop.org/p/books/setting-boundaries-that-stick-how-neurobiology-can-help-you-rewire-your-brain-to-feel-safe-connected-and-empowered-juliane-taylor-shore/19642175...
Dec 05, 2023•49 min•Ep. 97
Libby is joined by author and therapist Juliane Taylor Shore to talk about internal boundaries and how crucial they are (even though they are often not talked about or overlooked when people talk about boundaries.) Jules' Website: https://www.julianetaylorshore.com/ Jules Book, Setting Boundaries that Stick: https://bookshop.org/p/books/setting-boundaries-that-stick-how-neurobiology-can-help-you-rewire-your-brain-to-feel-safe-connected-and-empowered-juliane-taylor-shore/19642175...
Nov 28, 2023•44 min•Ep. 96
The word "codependent" comes up a lot in polyamory spaces, but so often it is misused that it's losing its meaning. Libby talks about her dislike of the term, how she thinks it often is used to shame and pathologize perfectly normal human needs, and how she likes to talk about codependence differently.
Nov 21, 2023•24 min•Ep. 95
A lot of people are talking about boundaries now. But as Inigo Montoya once said, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." In this episode Libby explains that boundaries are not a magic way to get people to do what you want them to do.
Nov 14, 2023•22 min•Ep. 94
Nothing is a hot-button topic quite like a couple looking to date the same person. A lot of people have only one piece of advice, "Don't," often served with heaping portions of shame and ridicule. Yet, year after year, established couples seek to find a shared partner, and many folks also seek relationships with established couples. Is there something to this? In this episode, Libby offers some thoughts on why you might want to date as a couple (or date a couple) and some helpful ideas on how to...
Nov 07, 2023•42 min•Ep. 93
Increasingly, Libby hears from folks who are interested in polyamory to solve a problem: either they or their partner cheated, and they want to repair and stay together, and nonmonogamy seems like a solution. In this episode, Libby outlines why it's rarely that simple.
Oct 31, 2023•43 min•Ep. 92
Libby offers an uncomfortable but necessary reality check: love alone doesn't conquer all.
Apr 25, 2023•26 min•Ep. 91
Maybe you know the joke, maybe you don't, but showing up for a second date with a uhaul can be risky. In this episode, Libby goes over why she thinks cohabiting during the new relationship energy (NRE) phase might not be the best idea, and what to do instead.
Apr 18, 2023•31 min•Ep. 90
We all carry stories with us about who we are, our place in the world, how others will see us, and what's possible for our lives. Some of these stories are stories we like, some are stories we want to write a new ending to. But did you know that try as you might to change the story, there's an invisible force that may be acting on you that might sabotage your efforts? In this episode, Libby talks about how your very own brain can stop you from changing your story, and some ideas for what...
Apr 11, 2023•35 min•Ep. 89
