Making Polyamory Work - podcast cover

Making Polyamory Work

Libby Sinbackmakingpolyamorywork.com
Grounded in reality and untamed honesty, Libby Sinback tackles the hard questions about how to create and maintain authentic, loving and healthy nonmonogamous relationships.

Episodes

Maintenance S*x with Emily Nagoski

In Part 2 of Libby's conversation with Emily Nagoski, there's a deeper conversation about the concept of "maintenance s*x" and how you may be doing it to safe your relationship, but it may actually be destroying it. Emily Nagoski's website: https://www.emilynagoski.com/ Emily Nagoski on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enagoski/ Emily Nagoski's books (highly recommended!): https://bookshop.org/contributors/emily-nagoski-4318b5e2-0f22-4415-963b-ce5a1f467607...

Jul 02, 202427 minEp 118Transcript available on Metacast

Forget the Spark with Emily Nagoski

The amazing Emily Nagoski joins Libby on Making Polyamory Work to drop truth bomb after truth bomb about sex in long-term relationships. Emily Nagoski's website: https://www.emilynagoski.com/ Emily Nagoski on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enagoski/ Emily Nagoski's books (highly recommended!): https://bookshop.org/contributors/emily-nagoski-4318b5e2-0f22-4415-963b-ce5a1f467607...

Jun 25, 202426 minEp 117Transcript available on Metacast

Why Aren't You Being Fair?

The Multiamory crew takes over Making Polyamory Work to talk about aggressive fairness in polyamory, what it looks like, and how you can find equity in your relationships. Multiamory's website: https://www.multiamory.com/

Jun 18, 20241 hr 4 minEp 116Transcript available on Metacast

My #1 Dating Tip

Let's think about dating and rejection differently. Shine your light.

Jun 11, 202417 minEp 115Transcript available on Metacast

Relationship Diversity with Carrie Jeroslow

What happens when your relationship (or your life) doesn't look the way you thought it would or were told it was supposed to look? Libby talks with Carrie Jeroslow about how having a relationship diversity mindset may help you make peace and even embrace with how your life and love actually work for YOU. Carrie's Website: https://www.carriejeroslow.com/

Jun 04, 202458 minEp 114Transcript available on Metacast

How to Get Help

If you're struggling and need help with your relationships, where should you turn? Libby shares her advice on how to find good help. Meta analyses of studies that show that therapeutic alliance matters more than therapeutic modality for positive outcomes in therapy: https://psycnet.apa.org/PsycARTICLES/journal/pst/55/4 APA article explaining: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/11/ce-corner-relationships

May 28, 202437 minEp 113Transcript available on Metacast

Nerding out on Compersion with Marie Thouin

What is compersion? Can you cultivate compersion in yourself and in your relationships? Libby invites Marie Thouin, PhD to discuss her research and book on this important and sometimes misunderstood topic in polyamory. Marie's book! https://rowman.com/ISBN/9781538183939/What-Is-Compersion-Understanding-Positive-Empathy-in-Consensually-Non-Monogamous-Relationships Marie's Compersion Resources: https://www.whatiscompersion.com/ Marie's Coaching Website: https://www.loveinsight-dating.c...

May 21, 202453 minEp 112Transcript available on Metacast

Community Care with Genevieve of Chill Polyamory

Libby is joined by Genevieve King of Chill Polyamory to discuss individualism, community care, and ways you can shift your mindset to ecological thinking within polyamorous (or not!) relationship structures. Genevieve's Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/chillpolyamory Genevieve on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3PUizxdp_vj2A5fUdBgzgw Genevieve's website: https://www.chillpolyamory.com/

May 14, 20241 hr 9 minEp 111Transcript available on Metacast

Sexual Health When You're Positive with Courtney Brame

Libby invites Courtney Brame of Something Positive for Positive People to discuss herpes, stigma, and sexual health. Something Positive for Positive People: https://www.spfpp.org/ SPFPP Podcast: https://www.spfpp.org/podcast Herpes Stigma Virtual Conference in May: https://www.spfpp.org/offerings/p/conferences Courtney's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/courtneybrame_/

May 07, 20241 hr 12 minEp 115Transcript available on Metacast

Offer or Request?

Libby discusses the distinction between offers and requests in relating and how important it can be to make sure you're saying what you actually mean. Kai Cheng Thom's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kaichengthom/?hl=en Spectrum of Consent: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kvYW4eSVKRuwUt5Mc-DnCyNVzvA036f8/view?usp=sharing Marcia Baczynski on Desire Smuggling: https://askingforwhatyouwant.com/desire-smuggler/ 27 Alternatives to "Is this Okay?": https://askingforwhatyouwant....

Apr 30, 202429 minEp 109Transcript available on Metacast

Navigating Asexuality with Aubri Lancaster

Libby talks with AASECT-certified sexuality educator Aubri Lancaster about asexuality and aromanticism. Aubri's website: https://acesexeducation.com/ Aubri's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/acesexeducation/

Apr 23, 20241 hr 3 minEp 108Transcript available on Metacast

Is Hierarchy bad?

Libby shares her thoughts about debate about whether hierarchy is bad or wrong in polyamory. Additional reading: Lola Phoenix - the Hierarchy Polyamorous People Don't Talk Enough About: https://www.nonmonogamyhelp.com/the-hierarchy-polyamorous-people-dont-talk-enough-about/ Ready for Polyamory - Is there a Problem with Hierarchy https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/guest-post-is-there-a-problem-with-hierarchy Poly.Land - Sneakiarchy: https://poly.land/2018/11/01/sneakiarchy-secret-hierarch...

Apr 16, 202449 minEp 109Transcript available on Metacast

Unmet Needs in Polyamory

Most folks practicing nonmonogamy accept that no one person can meet all their needs. And yet, sometimes it can be challenging when a new partner starts meeting needs that haven't been met by an established relationship. In this episode Libby explores the trickiness when new relationships fulfill desires that established ones don't some ideas to help you navigate this situation well. There’s Nothing to Fear: https://www.makingpolyamorywork.com/episodes/theres-nothing-to-fear 9 Relationsh...

Feb 20, 202451 minEp 106Transcript available on Metacast

Seriously! Compassion

This week Libby shares a re-release from December 2019 about the science of compassion, and why it's key to loving relationships, including the one with yourself. The Gottman Institute on Contempt: https://www.gottman.com/blog/this-one-thing-is-the-biggest-predictor-of-divorce/ The Harvard Business Review on Self-Compassion: https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion About the Carleton University Study on Self-Compassion and Procrastination: https://www.psycho...

Feb 13, 202416 minEp 105Transcript available on Metacast

Sacred Unraveling in Polyamory with Joli Hamilton

Part two of Libby's conversation with Dr. Joli Hamilton where they discuss how navigating differences can open a relationship and the people in it into transformation. Joli's website: https://www.jolihamilton.com/ The Year of Opening: https://www.jolihamilton.com/TYO

Feb 06, 202434 minEp 104Transcript available on Metacast

Individuation and Navigating Differences with Joli Hamilton

What happens when exploring different relationship styles reveals uncomfortable differences between you and a partner? In this episode, Libby talks with Dr. Joli Hamilton about polyamory as a sacred process of individuation and grief. Joli's website: https://www.jolihamilton.com/ The Year of Opening: https://www.jolihamilton.com/TYO

Jan 30, 202429 minEp 103Transcript available on Metacast

Solo Polyamory with Crystal Byrd Farmer

Long-requested, Libby discusses solo polyamory with Crystal Byrd Farmer, author, organizer, diversity consultant.. and solo polyamorist. SHOW LINKS: Crystal's website: https://crystalbyrdfarmer.com/ Crystal's book: https://newsociety.com/books/t/the-token Solo polyamory: https://solopoly.net/2014/12/05/what-is-solo-polyamory-my-take/...

Jan 23, 202459 minEp 102Transcript available on Metacast

Triangulation

Triangles show up in relationships all over the place. In this episode Libby discusses triangulation, what it is, common ways it can show up in polyamory, and whether triangulation can harm or help.

Dec 19, 202330 minEp 99Transcript available on Metacast

When I Don't Use Boundaries

Libby talks through when she personally does NOT opt for boundaries, and why boundaries are often the last move she will make in navigating relationship difficulties.

Dec 12, 202322 minEp 98Transcript available on Metacast

What is a Boundary Violation? with Juliane Taylor Shore

Libby and Jules answer a listener who asks, "If boundaries are between you and you, then what is a boundary violation?" Jules also goes over her 6 steps to setting an external boundary. Jules' Website: https://www.julianetaylorshore.com/ Jules Book, Setting Boundaries that Stick: https://bookshop.org/p/books/setting-boundaries-that-stick-how-neurobiology-can-help-you-rewire-your-brain-to-feel-safe-connected-and-empowered-juliane-taylor-shore/19642175...

Dec 05, 202349 minEp 97Transcript available on Metacast

Your Brain on Boundaries with Juliane Taylor Shore

Libby is joined by author and therapist Juliane Taylor Shore to talk about internal boundaries and how crucial they are (even though they are often not talked about or overlooked when people talk about boundaries.) Jules' Website: https://www.julianetaylorshore.com/ Jules Book, Setting Boundaries that Stick: https://bookshop.org/p/books/setting-boundaries-that-stick-how-neurobiology-can-help-you-rewire-your-brain-to-feel-safe-connected-and-empowered-juliane-taylor-shore/19642175...

Nov 28, 202344 minEp 96Transcript available on Metacast

Codependence

The word "codependent" comes up a lot in polyamory spaces, but so often it is misused that it's losing its meaning. Libby talks about her dislike of the term, how she thinks it often is used to shame and pathologize perfectly normal human needs, and how she likes to talk about codependence differently.

Nov 21, 202324 minEp 95Transcript available on Metacast

Boundaries Aren't Magic

A lot of people are talking about boundaries now. But as Inigo Montoya once said, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." In this episode Libby explains that boundaries are not a magic way to get people to do what you want them to do.

Nov 14, 202322 minEp 94Transcript available on Metacast

Dating as a Couple

Nothing is a hot-button topic quite like a couple looking to date the same person. A lot of people have only one piece of advice, "Don't," often served with heaping portions of shame and ridicule. Yet, year after year, established couples seek to find a shared partner, and many folks also seek relationships with established couples. Is there something to this? In this episode, Libby offers some thoughts on why you might want to date as a couple (or date a couple) and some helpful ideas on how to...

Nov 07, 202342 minEp 93Transcript available on Metacast

Polyamory After an Affair

Increasingly, Libby hears from folks who are interested in polyamory to solve a problem: either they or their partner cheated, and they want to repair and stay together, and nonmonogamy seems like a solution. In this episode, Libby outlines why it's rarely that simple.

Oct 31, 202343 minEp 92Transcript available on Metacast

The Heart Wants What it Wants

Libby offers an uncomfortable but necessary reality check: love alone doesn't conquer all.

Apr 25, 202326 minEp 91Transcript available on Metacast

Uhauling

Maybe you know the joke, maybe you don't, but showing up for a second date with a uhaul can be risky. In this episode, Libby goes over why she thinks cohabiting during the new relationship energy (NRE) phase might not be the best idea, and what to do instead.

Apr 18, 202331 minEp 90Transcript available on Metacast

What’s Your Story?

We all carry stories with us about who we are, our place in the world, how others will see us, and what's possible for our lives. Some of these stories are stories we like, some are stories we want to write a new ending to. But did you know that try as you might to change the story, there's an invisible force that may be acting on you that might sabotage your efforts? In this episode, Libby talks about how your very own brain can stop you from changing your story, and some ideas for what...

Apr 11, 202335 minEp 89Transcript available on Metacast