Talking points: psychology, the shadow, attachment theory Now there's a mouthful of psych words! All jokes aside, a Jungian perspective on attachment theory is a powerful combo. This week, I'm laying out a simple definition for the shadow and anxious attachment, and a straightforward way to begin the work yourself right away. Listen in. (00:00:00) - A quick primer on anxious attachment and the shadow (00:05:17) - The first thing you need to figure out, and some common causes of anxious attachmen...
Feb 06, 2025•16 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: culture, masculinity Broad-brushing things doesn't help us progress. Broad-brushing people is even worse. Young men are facing what feels to them a hostile landscape, and it's causing some serious issues. Listen in. (00:00:00) - The abusive relationship analogy (00:05:36) - Porn DOES contribute (00:08:16) - The new narrative (00:11:03) - Is there a more positive vision for men and masculinity? And a message to guys who are struggling...
Feb 04, 2025•16 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: mindset, attraction, relationships I was surprised at the sheer volume of basic advice there is out there on being a more attractive man. This week, we're going to go a little beyond "hit the gym" and "smoke less". How do you build your attractiveness from the inside out AND stay authentically you? Listen in. (00:00:00) - Be untameable—somewhat (00:09:50) - Develop emotional sovereignty (00:12:11) - Develop direction and discipline (00:14:14) - Have some non-negotiables. Please. ...
Jan 30, 2025•21 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: masculinity, culture, race It's always a highlight of my life speaking with Jason. This man and his tireless work shaping comprehensive, authentic men is nothing short of inspiring. Deeply grateful to have sat down with him to dig into the nuances of his new book (out Jan 28!), the manosphere, Black America, and what modern men miss out on. Listen. To. This. (00:00:00) - How Jason’s environment shaped his perception of manhood, and the challenges of hypermasculinity (00:11:02) - ...
Jan 27, 2025•57 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: psychology You've probably seen this idea floating around social media for a while, and it's a solid framework for healing. But what does it actually mean, how does it work, and is it worthwhile if you're a man? This week, let's talk about what inner child work entails. (00:00:00) - “What’s hidden in the father is revealed in the son”, and what inner child work actually means (00:10:10) - The main benefits of this kind of work, and where to start (00:17:35) - Two useful journalin...
Jan 23, 2025•30 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: relationships, infidelity, betrayal The damage from infidelity in a relationship can be complex, traumatic, and last far longer than you might think. What's more, there aren't a lot of men-specific resources out there. Fortunately Adam is changing that. If you or someone you know has experienced infidelity, strongly encourage you to share this one. (00:00:00) - Why Adam wrote his book, and the stigmas men experience when they’re cheated on (00:05:13) - How important is it that al...
Jan 20, 2025•47 min•Ep 526•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: attachment, relationships We all have parts of us that are hard to handle. But if you're in a relationship with someone who's got an avoidant attachment style, there's ONE behavior that's tougher than the rest. Here's what it is, and how to handle it. (00:00:00) - Intro, and “the flip” (00:03:55) - The real challenge dealing with an avoidant partner (00:05:52) - So what do you do? *** Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Fin...
Jan 16, 2025•12 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: masculinity, culture Honored to have connected with the Barefoot Dutchman himself this week. In case you hadn't heard, Anton Nootenboom recently finished walking over 3100 miles—barefoot—from LA to NYC to support men's mental health. Yes. Barefoot. We dig into the why, the how, and Anton's core philosophies. Listen in, team. (00:00:00) - Intro, and what the mental and emotional strain was like (00:15:39) - Why Anton wanted to raise awareness for men’s mental health (00:22:04) - W...
Jan 13, 2025•55 min•Ep 525•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: relationships, marriage Not an easy topic for anyone, but there ARE things you can do that can help things go more smoothly. Whether you chose it or it got chosen for you, I've laid out what you need to ask yourself and how you should proceed. Listen in. (00:00:00) - Intro, and the best question to ask yourself first (00:07:18) - How do you know when it’s time to go, and midlife changes (00:16:12) - Divorcing in anger, and the first thing I say to men who have decided (00:20:26) ...
Jan 09, 2025•31 min•Ep 525•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: attachment, mindset, psychology Diving into the deep end for 2025, team. The disorganized attachment style is complex, hard to manage, and my heart goes out to anyone who struggles with this. But over the years of training and study, and working with clients with disorganized attachment, I've found some things that help. Here's your primer, team. (00:00:00) - Why disorganized attachment is so challenging, what makes it different, and the biggest origin points (00:09:26) - Digging...
Jan 06, 2025•50 min•Ep 524•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: new year, goals, mindset Goals don’t always work, especially when the end result requires a more flexible approach, like having a healthier internal dialogue or more intimacy in your relationship. This week, let’s dig into a different approach: non-linear goal setting. (00:00:00) - Why step-by-step goals may not work, and how to have an aim (00:06:07) - Let go of the idea that paint-by-numbers is always the way to go, and embrace experimentation (00:10:424) - Learn how to read th...
Jan 02, 2025•22 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: trauma, culture, attachment, masculinity Maybe you’re new (or new-ish) to the podcast. Maybe you’re gunning for new insights so you kick off 2025 right. Either way, we here at ManTalks have got your back. In this episode, you’ll find extended clips from 2024’s top interviews, from the veteran perspectives of Michael Meade to the attachment expertise of Sarah Baldwin. Happy New Year, team. (00:00:00) - Peter Levine on the symptoms of trauma and using active imagination (00:19:41) ...
Dec 30, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Ep 523•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: mindset, new year new you Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a big fan of New Year's Resolutions. So instead of adding another thing to do, be, or try to your list, why not take something away? These ten things come from my own experience as well as helping high-performing men in multiple fields. Listen in. (00:00:00) - Stop self-deprecating, and start taking “clean accountability” (00:04:16) - Stop blaming women for all your problems (00:07:40) - Stop consuming mindless content. ...
Dec 26, 2024•30 min•Transcript available on Metacast No bells and whistles this Monday, team. Just a few reminders and a simple, honest, and massive thank you for tuning in. Wherever you are, however you celebrate, whatever you do, I wish you and yours peace, grace, and happiness. *** Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment Check out some other free r...
Dec 23, 2024•7 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: relationships, masculinity, culture This is a question I get all the time from men. They date a woman who takes on what feels like a very masculine energy, and they're not sure how to handle that without doubling down on battles, roles, and standoffs. Here's how to build a grounded, fulfilling, satisfying partnership instead. (00:00:00) - Intro and the reasons women adopt traditionally masculine traits (00:08:40) - What do you do? Number one: let go of “who’s right” battles (00:1...
Dec 19, 2024•22 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: men, psychology, culture Roy Baumeister is a mighty pillar in the world of psychology, with groundbreaking work on willpower, self-control, negativity bias, and much more. I had the honor of chatting with him about all of these things in the context of men. How do we develop robust self-esteem? Is it work breaking free of isolation? Are there unique social pressures? This is chock full, team. (00:00:00) - On how men need to prove themselves, and the different social pressures bet...
Dec 16, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Ep 522•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: attachment, genetics, psychology Attachment as a framework for working on and healing your relationships is powerful stuff. But it’s also complex. I wanted to nerd out a bit this week with all of you over this fascinating study on attachment, genetics, and environment—with a PSA at the end. Dig in and let me know what you think! You can find the abstract of the study and request a full PDF here: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/385437792_Genetic_and_environmental_co...
Dec 12, 2024•8 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: culture, masculinity, the shadow This was one of those wide-ranging convos that made me lose track of time. David and I cover a ton in this as you'll see from the timestamps, with some great info on "core energetics", personality types, and more. Dig in. (00:00:00) - How David approached interviewing such a polarizing figure, and do all men have such a rigid mask? (00:09:04) - How do you support men in a way that allows them to actually open up? (00:15:40) - Is it all just ...
Dec 09, 2024•1 hr 12 min•Ep 521•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: relationships, masculinity, psychology, culture I touched on this topic in a previous episode and hoo boy, the comments. So let’s talk about it, because there are a lot of historical, psychological, and mythic examples to look at. What’s more, there are ways of working on this if it rings true. (00:00:00) - What I mean by being afraid of women, and theories from evolutionary psychology (00:06:41) - The perspective of analytical psychology, and the “anima and animus” (00:15:29) - ...
Dec 05, 2024•22 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: relationships, communication, sex, masculinity Whether we want to admit it or not, there are always times where things in the bedroom just don’t work out. Alex is out there helping men deal with their most common challenges, and de-stigmatizing communication about it. I appreciate the simple yet solid advice he brings to the table; lots of good stuff in here. Listen in. (00:00:00) - How a man’s ability to perform affects how he sees himself, and working with sexual shame (00:11:3...
Dec 02, 2024•53 min•Ep 520•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: relationships, mythology, archetypes, culture The title might ruffle some feathers, but sometimes, the best way to look at an issue is through a story. The symbolism has a way of highlighting many complex things at once. This week, I want to talk about an almost common trope in modern dating, but through the lens of a classic story: Cinderella. (00:00:00) - Intro, using the story as a lens, and the effect of the “wicked stepmother” (00:04:13) - The shadow of the feminine and masc...
Nov 28, 2024•14 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: history, mythology, archetypes, culture I’ve recently been asked to dig more into the deeper stuff, and who better to delve into the history of the ancients than Alex Petkas. We dig into how important history and story can be, how modern society has watered down the hero archetype, and who we can learn from in ancient history to re-inspire us. This is great ep to dig into if you’re searching for actual heroes, not just what you see on TV. (00:00:00) - What was the role of the “he...
Nov 25, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Ep 519•Transcript available on Metacast talking points: anxiety, psychology, relationships If you've ever been with someone who struggles with anxiety, this one's for you. A lot of men lean heavily into trying to fix things, even making it their entire mission. Here are some alternative steps that respect responsibility, autonomy, and help strengthen the relationship. (00:00:00) - Intro, my working definition of anxiety, and the many places it comes from (00:05:42) - Signs of anxiety in your partner (00:10:47) - So what do you do? On ...
Nov 21, 2024•21 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: masculinity, psychology, myth, Jung Hot on the heels of the legendary John Lee, I interviewed another founding elder of men's work: Michael Meade. This is a powerful discussion focused on how essential "descent" is for men, and how it's almost completely disappeared from society in favor of endless, destructive growth and commodified "mastery". Powerful words from one of the wisest teachers out there, in my opinion. (00:00:00) - The importance of descent in a man’s life (00:11:51...
Nov 18, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Ep 518•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: psychology, depression, These are 3 conditions you may have never heard of before, but based on my experience working with men for 10+ years, they’ve got a significant presence. They’re also under-discussed. (00:00:00) - Dysthymia, aka low-key depression (00:04:25) - Alexithymia, when you can't describe emotions (00:07:06) - Derealization, when nothing feels real Further Reading -Dysthymia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysthymia -Alexithymia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
Nov 14, 2024•14 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: masculinity, culture, mythopoetics, Robert Bly, Iron John Maybe you've heard it said that there are lots of "olders", but barely any elders. John Lee is one of the latter, in my opinion. A critical player in men's movements of the 90s and close friends with Robert Bly, John is a wealth of knowledge, insight, and honest talk—and no stranger to deep work. Listen in, team. (00:00:00) - Intro, and what brought John to where he is today (00:06:23) - The impact Robert Bly had on the my...
Nov 11, 2024•59 min•Ep 517•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: relationships We all know how a couple handles conflict can be the difference between love that’s thriving and resilient and something that is…well, the exact opposite: leading through conflict. Listen in for five aspects of the that don’t get talked about often enough, in my opinion. (00:00:00) - Intro, and a practical definition of conflict (00:03:14) - Address your conflict kryptonite (00:05:59) - Ownership over blame (00:07:57) - Stop seeing conflict as a path to disconnectio...
Nov 07, 2024•15 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: mindset, purpose, military, masculinity A sincere honor to chat with J.R., and I’m blown away by his perspective and honesty on the hardship he’s faced—and overcome. We cover a lot of ground: the importance of male friendship, the struggles veterans can go through, the importance of vulnerability AND accountability. Throughout it all, J.R.’s outlook shines through. Listen in, team. (00:00:00) - JR’s defining moment (00:11:45) - What happened to JR during his deployment (00:23:58)...
Nov 04, 2024•1 hr 6 min•Ep 516•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: attachment, psychology, relationships Men tend to underestimate how important the feeling of safety is for their partners. Not a dig, just something I’ve seen time and time again. And if you’re partner has an avoidant or anxious attachment style, your part in creating a sense of safety in the relationship can be complicated. Listen in for some straightforward tips. (00:00:00) - Intro, and why women sometimes “test” you (00:03:45) - Here’s what changes when she has an avoidant or ...
Oct 31, 2024•19 min•Transcript available on Metacast Talking points: mindset, psychology, meditation, spirituality Meditation and mindfulness get a lot of air time these days, especially on the more “crunchy” side of wellness spectrum. But is it all it’s cracked up to be? I sat down with Shai to really dig into this, from the wildly esoteric and spiritual side of the question to the more practical, tactical side. Because what’s the point of enlightenment if it doesn’t make things, well, a little lighter? (00:00:00) - Shai’s feeling of being “outsi...
Oct 28, 2024•1 hr 17 min•Ep 515•Transcript available on Metacast