Gay Men Going Deeper is a weekly podcast that showcases raw and real conversations about personal development, mental health, and sexuality - from an unapologetically gay perspective.
Hosted by Matt Landsiedel and Michael DiIorio, and featuring a wide range of special guests, you can expect to be inspired, entertained, and even a little triggered from time to time.
This provocative podcast is for anyone who craves deeper conversations on topics ranging from spirituality to sexuality - and everything in between.
Visit us at www.GayMenGoingDeeper.com
Support the show: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=LT55M79CMH5FN
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What happens when we avoid feeling our emotions? In this episode, we explore the importance of emotional awareness: tuning in instead of checking out. We share what happens when we suppress our feelings, and how to navigate the tough ones with compassion and care. We also explore: The link between emotional avoidance and things like addiction, depression, and burnout What blocks us from feeling our emotions Practical ways to process emotions that feel overwhelming or uncomfortable The power of s...
It’s Pride Month, and with everything going on in the world right now, it feels especially important to pause and reflect. In this special panel discussion episode, Reno Johnston is joined by three incredible guests—Mark Fleming, Keone Wales, and Jordan Layne—for a candid panel discussion on the meaning of Pride: where it began, how it’s evolved, and what it means to each of us today. Together, they explore questions like: What does Pride mean to you? What was your first Pride experience? How ha...
In 2025, LGBTQ rights are facing renewed challenges- from the rise of far-right populism to legislative rollbacks and the rise of hate sweeping across the globe. But how serious is the threat? And if the fight is back on… are we ready? This week, Michael is joined by author and longtime activist, Tim McCaskell , who’s been on the front lines of LGBTQ+ resistance for over five decades. From the bathhouse raids to the fight for AIDS treatment and beyond, Tim brings deep historical context and live...
In today’s episode, we’re diving into a question many in our community have been quietly (or loudly) asking: Has Pride lost its meaning? In this wide-ranging conversation, we reflect on how Pride has evolved from its radical roots in activism to its present-day celebratory scene shaped by media, politics, and corporate sponsorships. We talk about what’s been gained, what’s been lost, and what still needs to be reclaimed. Some topics we explore: The impact of corporatization and rainbow capitalis...
In this episode, Matt speaks with a panel of demisexual gay men about their experiences dating as demisexuals. What we want you to get out of this episode is greater awareness of yourself if you are demisexual, and to know you are not alone. We want to share our own experiences in the hope that you can learn ways to thrive as a demisexual. If you are not demisexual, this episode will offer you a greater understanding of demisexual men you might come across in dating. We also share helpful, pract...
For many gay men, friendship is complicated, performative, and sometimes downright painful. We crave genuine connection but end up navigating cliques, comparison, and quiet loneliness. In this episode, Michael and Pepper are doing an exposé on gay friendships to unpack what’s really going on beneath the surface and why so many gay friendships fall short of the depth and safety we actually want. We’re breaking it down in three parts: The Pretty Lies: Performative friendship, superficiality, and t...
How do the unmet needs of our childhood shape who we are today? And more importantly, how do we learn to meet those needs for ourselves as adults? In this deeply personal and eye-opening episode of Gay Men Going Deeper , we explore the re-parenting process—a therapeutic model that helps us heal old wounds, develop self-compassion, and rewrite the internal narratives we inherited from childhood. We’ll be getting personal as we reflect on on three powerful questions: 1️⃣ What needs went unmet for ...
In this episode, Matt speaks with therapist and author, Tom Bruett , about how to avoid losing yourself in your relationships. By balancing connection and autonomy in our relationships, we can foster more secure relationships that allow us to maintain our sense of self while allowing our partner to do the same. If you easily lose yourself in your relationships or you’re having a hard time establishing intimacy, this episode will offer a refreshing perspective and tangible takeaways to help you i...
From Madonna to Mariah, Beyoncé to Barbra— throughout the generations, gay men have been obsessed with divas. But why ? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re diving into the deep connection between gay men and our beloved divas, exploring: Who are the divas and what do they have in common? Why divas resonate so deeply with gay men How these women inspire us The diva anthems that have become the soundtrack of self-confidence What it means to channel your inner diva in everyday life. Who ...
The women in our lives have influenced us in ways we don’t always recognize, but when we take a step back, their impact is undeniable. In this heartfelt episode, we’re celebrating the uniquely beautiful relationships gay men have with women—from mothers and grandmothers to besties, sisters, and beyond. We’re showing love to all the women who have supported us, shaped us, and often modeled the traits that helped us become who we are today. Some of the topics we’ll explore: How our childhoods were...
Do you find yourself putting other people’s needs ahead of your own? Struggle to set boundaries? Feel responsible for keeping the peace even when it costs you your authenticity? In this episode, gay therapist Michael Pezzullo joins Michael to go deeper into the roots of people pleasing—especially why so many gay men fall into this pattern. We’ll explore how people pleasing shows up in everyday life, why it’s so hard to stop, and how the fear of conflict and rejection keeps us from showing up ful...
Many gay men struggle with saying no, setting boundaries, or engaging in difficult conversations due to deep-seated people-pleasing tendencies and fear of conflict. But staying silent often leads to resentment, burnout, or feeling disconnected from your true self. As recovering people-pleasers themselves, Matt and Michael have plenty to share about their own journeys toward becoming more assertive in their boundaries. In this episode, we dive into: The difference between people-pleasing, healthy...
In this episode, Matt speaks with Psychotherapist, Merle Yost , about how shame may influence sexual desire and arousal by eroticizing shame as a way of coping with it. Merle shares his story about being sexually molested by his father and the impact this had on his sexual development. Join us for this interesting topic that is often not talked about but deeply impacts many of us. The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are: What does it mean to eroticize shame? How do shame and de...
Communication is at the heart of every relationship—whether it’s with friends, partners, colleagues, or even yourself. But what does it actually mean to be a strong communicator? In this episode, we’re diving into the key skills that make conversations more effective, engaging, and authentic. Join us as we discuss: What makes a strong communicator? The role of emotional intelligence in communication Common barriers that create conflict and misunderstandings Practical tips to improve your listeni...
They didn’t teach us about gay sex in school… so we had to teach ourselves. From porn to awkward trial-and-error hookups, most of us pieced together our own “education”—for better or worse. In this episode, Michael is joined by porn star turned sex educator, Patrick Marano , to talk about the sex ed we should have had, how we’ve had to create it for ourselves, and why stigma and censorship still keep gay men in the dark. Some of the topics covered in this episode: 🔹 How conventional sex educati...
Is your dating profile truly showing the best version of you? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper , we're diving into the do's and don'ts of crafting a profile that is aligned with what you’re truly looking for. On the apps, your profile is the first impression that counts so whether you're looking for love, fun, or meaningful connections, it matters. Some topics we’ll discuss: What it means to show your authentic self without being cringy Choosing the best photos Crafting a bio that stands ...
Matt and Shay discuss the psychology of erectile dysfunction in gay men, exploring unique reasons and solutions. They share personal stories, the impact of societal pressures, and the importance of mindset. The episode also covers internalized homophobia, sex culture, and the need for self-compassion, encouraging listeners to seek help and normalize the conversation around ED.
This episode explores the impact of dating and hookup apps on the gay community, discussing the negative aspects like superficial connections, dehumanization, and the loss of queer spaces. The hosts share personal experiences and insights, reflecting on the grief and frustration that can arise from app overuse. They also offer practical tips for maintaining a positive relationship with dating apps, emphasizing self-awareness, discernment, and the importance of creating meaningful connections both online and offline.
Michael and Pepper discuss the concept of empowered bottoms, challenging outdated stereotypes and celebrating bottoms who own their pleasure, set boundaries, and take charge of their sexual experiences. They delve into the differences between power bottoms and empowered bottoms, the importance of advocating for oneself, and the significance of sexual health and open communication in the bedroom. This conversation encourages listeners to embrace their desires and reject shame in their sexual expression.
This episode explores monogamy within gay relationships, challenging the myth that it doesn't work and examining the stigmas surrounding it. The hosts discuss the benefits of monogamy, the reasons some gay couples may choose non-monogamy, and the essential elements for successful monogamous relationships, including communication, devotion, and sexual compatibility. Personal experiences and research are shared, promoting curiosity and understanding towards both monogamous and non-monogamous choices.
In this episode, Matt speaks with therapist and author Tom Bruett about the struggles many gay men face with romantic relationships. Together they share decades of experience when it comes to understanding the relational challenges faced by gay men. From toxic shame to developmental trauma, they unpack what causes these challenges and how to start healing and empowering ourselves in our relationships. If you are someone who struggles in your romantic relationships with intimacy, vulnerability or...
What happens when friendship and intimacy collide? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re exploring the nuanced dynamics of friends with benefits (FWB) and friends with intimacy (FWI). But what happens when emotions sneak in, boundaries blur, or feelings start to change? We’ll discuss: Defining FWB vs. FWI: What they mean, how they’re different from dating or hookups, and what these relationships can look like. Boundaries: Essential skills like self-awareness, clear communication, and re...
The first year after coming out can feel like an emotional rollercoaster—exciting, scary, and full of questions. How do you navigate this transformative time while finding your community, and embracing your authentic self? In this episode, we’re talking about the unique challenges and opportunities that come with living out for the first time. We’ll discuss: What was your first year out like? What are some common struggles newly out gay men face, and how can they overcome them? How do you figure...
In this episode, Matt speaks with world-renowned trauma treatment expert, Harvard-trained psychiatrist, and psychotherapist Dr. Frank Anderson. Let’s be honest, trauma isn't the most glamorous topic to talk about, but it significantly impacts us as gay men, and our community is in desperate need of healing from the trauma of growing up gay that we each likely experienced. This episode is a raw and real exploration of the impact growing up gay can have on us. Many of us had the pressure and stres...
Living in the closet is a unique experience that queer people must face. Yet each person’s journey is shaped by culture, family dynamics, and social pressures. For some, living in the closet is about safety and survival. For others, it’s the first step in a journey toward self-acceptance and authenticity. In this episode, we explore what it’s really like to live in the closet and the complex emotions that come with it. We discuss: What was was like for you living in the closet? What did it take ...
Coming out to our families can be one of the most difficult experiences we navigate as queer folk. Sometimes it can be made even more difficult if the people we are opening up to are challenged by it, or don’t understand it. Other times, we may find ourselves in the company of people who do understand, or simply meet our openness with their own. Or, in this case, sometimes what we experience is a combination of both. This is a unique episode, because today our co-host Reno is sitting down with n...
Big things are on the horizon for the Gay Men’s Brotherhood in 2025, and we can’t wait to share them with you! In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on our vision for the future— including new opportunities and exciting changes you can expect in the year ahead including: Opportunities for local meetup groups New virtual events In-person retreats Leadership opportunities We’ll also talk about the ways you can step into the mission, make an impact, and help us shape the future of GMB. Wh...
Whether you love it or hate it, hookup culture is a part of gay culture—and if you look a little closer, it just might be a powerful tool for self-discovery. In this episode, we’re diving into the real-life lessons our casual hookups taught us about confidence, boundaries, and self-love. We’re going beyond the benefits and drawbacks of hookup culture, and sharing how these experiences have shaped who we are This episode is for anyone curious about navigating hookup culture with more clarity and ...
On this week’s episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, Matt interviews the “dick doctor” Urologist Dr. Joshua Gonzalez. They candidly explore some of the most taboo topics related to the penis. From erectile dysfunction to circumcision, increasing your size to foreskin, we got you covered. Topics we discuss in this episode: Circumcision Foreskin Erectile dysfunction Premature ejaculation Masturbation All things cum Penis size Pelvic health Peyronie's disease This episode is filled with tons of great in...
On this week’s episode of Gay Men Going Deeper , we're diving into The Sexuality Spectrum . From fluid attractions and shifting needs to understanding social conditioning and embracing different sexual dynamics, we’re exploring the dynamic range of human sexuality and how it shows up uniquely for each of us. Some of the topics we’ll be discussing are: Some of the aspects of the sexuality spectrum, including emotional needs, affection, and attraction How shame and social conditioning impact our s...
