Welcome to Gay Men Going Deeper, a podcast by the Gay Men's Brotherhood that showcases raw and real conversations about personal development, mental health, and sexuality from an unapologetically gay perspective. I am your host, Matt Lancetell, and joining me is Michael DiOrio, my co-host. Today we're talking about lifting the hood on the Gay Men's Brotherhood. We're talking everything Gay Men's Brotherhood, past, present, future.
What we want you guys to get out of this is basically to let you know what it's been like for the last four and a half years building the Gay Men's Brotherhood. What changes are going to be coming and what we have planned for our vision moving forward into 2025 and beyond.
If you're new here, please subscribe to the channel on YouTube. And if you're listening on your favorite podcast platform, please subscribe and leave us a review, which helps us get into the ears of the people who need us. All right. So we've come a very long way. We've been at this for four and a half years. We've been through a lot together, made me reminisce on how we even met. I was in another group similar to ours.
about five-ish years ago and I only was in that group for 24 hours and that's all I needed to be in because I met Michael and the rest is history and we decided to build our own our own community and All the fun stuff. So we've gone through a lot in this last four and a half years. Lots of amazing things. It's been very rewarding. And we've also faced some challenges. Reno was a part of our cohort. And then he decided to exit.
and go off and do his own thing which left you Callan and I to continue building the vision and then fast forward about a year and a half after that Callan decided he wanted to choose a different path going into more business coaching versus personal development coaching. So we were able to navigate the exiting of a business partner with so much tact.
and love and grace. And we're still very amicable with Callan. And we have a Zoom hangout every once in a while and connect with him. So just a lot of maturity, you know, that I see. moderator team has significantly changed over the years, but really the one thing that's remained constant is you and I and our connection together and really our shared vision.
for what we want for the gay community, what we want for ourselves in the gay community. So yeah, it's just been really cool reminiscing on this. We've helped thousands of gay men. over the last four and a half years move towards greater healing more empowerment and i think most importantly learning the true meaning of leadership like if i think about myself four and a half years ago i was not a strong leader
And I really think I've come a long way. I've seen you come a long way in your journey towards becoming a good leader. So this is the stuff we're going to unpack. We're going to just go through exploration. of what it's been like and what we have in store for the gay men's brotherhood coming up in 2025 and into the future so but first before we go into that i want to just talk a bit about the streams well some people might not understand our business structure so
We have the Gay Men's Brotherhood and we have Gay Men Going Deeper. They are under the same business. but they're two streams. So the Gay Men's Brotherhood is all about connection and belonging. This is the community piece of our business, whereas the Gay Men Going Deeper is the education piece of our business. So with the Gay Men's Brotherhood...
Our mission is to offer gay men education, inspiration, connection, healing, and a safe place to belong. Our vision is to create a new kind of gay community where everyone can feel safe to belong and show up. authentically as they are so how we execute this is our facebook group which we have about 9 000 guys in there now
We have monthly online events, a whole plethora of events. We've grown our events to almost, we have a dozen events that occur over the course of a month approximately. And then we want to get in-person retreats going. And that's going to be something we're going to talk about a little bit later in this episode. So stay tuned for that.
And then when we look at the game and going deeper, this is the education piece of our business. We think it's very important if we want to have connection and belonging, we have to educate on the things that are holding us back from connection and belonging. So this is where we teach people how to heal, how to empower themselves about some of the struggles that we have that are unique to us as gay men.
So the mission for this is we provide an educational platform of courses and podcast episodes for gay men seeking guidance as they work through their personal development and healing journeys. The vision. We offer gay men opportunities to personally develop.
and heal so they can move towards experiencing more connections, kindness, and acceptance in the gay community. We want to be part of creating a gay community where everyone can feel a sense of belonging, but we also realize we must first do our inner work.
before this can happen the execution of this our podcast game and going deeper which you're listening to right now healing your shame course which was the very first course that we created and then we have the building better relationships course which was our second course And then we had a membership called the Game On The Going Deeper membership. And that was about, we operated that for about a year and a half. And then we decided to turn that into an evergreen.
course collection so it's a coaching collection we call it which is 45 videos plus the healing your shame course and the building better relationships course in there so this is the the education stream of the business the reason why i'm sharing all this all with you guys is because i want you to understand the structure of our business as we move forward into this conversation we're going to be talking a bit about how this is going to change
some of the support that we might need moving forward. What, you know, the true meaning of brotherhood, what does brotherhood mean and how can we start to operate like a true brotherhood? With that being said. I want to start by just exploring what has this journey been like for you over the last four and a half years, Michael? For me, well, I mean, it's great, Matt, that you've been there to see it all. I think for a lot of people out there.
maybe who haven't been there from the beginning. You might not know this, but I was very hesitant. I was, at the time, the new kid on the block between the four of us. And I felt a huge sense of self-doubt. and imposter syndrome. Like Matt and these guys think I'm something that I'm not. And so I was upfront about that in the beginning and it took me a really long time to really step into that.
The self-doubt, the imposter syndrome in the beginning was really tough. And, you know, I learned to not bulldoze my way through it because that's not necessarily true, but also like I'm feeling self-doubt and I'm also going to do this podcast anyway. I feel I'm at a lesser level than these.
guys here but i'm going to show up and do what i can anyway and that really taught me confidence and is actually the the the how it's like you can't just talk about it you got to do it you got to have the action steps and
also knowing that that thought work and it helps i have to give you guys credit as well that i was on this team on this with the support system of guys who would validate nina for me and help me out so that was the beginning and now here i am a lot of you guys probably who just started listening to this probably would not really believe that, that I just hesitated and did not want to do this podcast at all.
But now I love it. It's great. It's very natural for me to be on here with you guys. So those four and a half years have been great. That would say is my journey. I think that it has showed me similar to you, Matt, the areas that I need to develop. And for me, that was constructive communication.
you know, with you guys and also with other people who are in the Facebook group maybe I don't agree with or saying things that I don't agree with and really learning to find space for them in the community even if I disagree with them. That's been a really important aspect. We can disagree and be in community.
Just like a family can have two siblings that are very opposite and still love each other. Similar idea here. Also learning how to navigate things like boundaries, like advocating for myself. As that people pleaser, and this happened a lot with Matt and Kel in the beginning, I really wanted to prove myself to them. And so, you know, it was a lot of doing things that overworking and doing this stuff that I didn't necessarily want to do or didn't feel comfortable doing.
and so learning to say actually no i need i need a week off like knowing when i did need some time off and when i was going to do something when i wasn't learning that for myself and then communicating that those boundaries
Some of the areas that I've grown and developed and similar to you met leadership, you know, not shying away from a difficult conversation instead of showing up and having it. We've all, I think, done a good job with that. And then on the positive side, I think it has shown me my strengths. So, you know, anyone out there who has. done something in the world where they put themselves out there, whatever it is, it does show you you get feedback from other people.
And that feedback was surprising to me. People saying things like, oh, I find you very relatable. I'm like, me? I had no idea. And I wouldn't have known had I not had the courage to put myself out there. People will say, I see a lot of myself in you or your story. really resonated with me or your history is a lot like mine they see themselves in me and i'm like that
boggles my mind, but I would have never known that had I not come on here and shared. So it has given me again, some sense of validation and confidence, like, okay, cool. Like what I'm sharing here. Yes, it's my experience, but other people are finding value in that. And that has been really nice. me to hear and i i can attest to that i've seen you you and i were both like that i think at the beginning just like that fear of visibility
What are people going to think? Are they going to, right? Like that sort of thing. So yeah, it's been really cool seeing you grow, grow into that and just kind of develop, like I said, in one of the previous episodes, just a sturdiness. There's a sturdiness about you that like a rooted.
rooted sturdiness that you didn't have when we first started. So it's been cool watching that. I think it just comes from actually doing the thing and taking it from a mental thing to actually living it, breathing it, being that.
person that gives you i think that's what gives me the sturdiness and that's what gives all of us the sturdiness that confidence comes from doing it and then surviving and falling and getting up again and failing and getting up again and succeeding and doing it again like it comes from living it and breathing it
Yeah, you're making me think. I'm like, I came into this vision, I think with a lot of unhealed parts. I thought I had done more healing than I did. And I think I did a lot of isolation healing. and not a lot of relational healing. And the relational healing for me was very, it was very potent. It's very powerful, which created a lot of discomfort for me. But it's where I've, you know, the last four and a half years have been the most growth, dense period of my life is building.
this community working within this community and I think you know bringing myself online from being offline as a lone wolf for so long and coming into community and learning how to let myself belong again learning how to trust And I think I came into our working relationship with the four of us more like a bulldozer because I didn't trust. So I was like, you know.
acting out trauma controlling like because i didn't trust i had a hard time especially trusting other gay men that was a really big piece for me so i think i've done a lot of really nice healing in that area and then the leadership piece i think is is huge so just each with each year i can think
of milestones that have that happened that pushed me towards you know courage and having to face fears being attacked the early stages these sorts of things i think really allowed me to heal a lot of my people-pleasing stuff and move towards true leadership and learning how to listen.
I think listening has been my biggest growth point probably in the last few years, just learning how to, and truly listening, like not listening to respond, like listening to hear and then taking it in, right? That's from our community through like. surveys and forums and on our YouTube channel, people giving us feedback, all these sorts of things, right? And then discernment for me is like, what feedback is mine?
And what is being projected on me from somebody else? I think that's been a huge learning too, because, and I'm really good at that now because people project onto me all the time. And I'm like, I'm able to actually discern like, okay, if there's an activation here. from this projection, then it's probably mine. I got to look at it and examine it.
and work through it but if there's no activation then it's like it's this other person's stuff that they're trying to play out on my projector screen so yeah it's been quite the journey and then you know there's this element of over-functioning So I have this relationship with over-functioning and I have since a child. In my career,
I've always overworked and I've over-functioned and I've over-provided value and these sorts of things. And I've always been focused on others, right? And less focused on myself and my needs. And I think this is just a codependent pattern I learned in childhood. I brought it into my work.
And I've realized this pattern in the last year entering the, well, it's the last two years, really. I entered a period of burnout, which I didn't realize was burnout until about six months ago. So it led to depression and it led to compassion fatigue. like not really caring having low empathy like these sorts of things because I was so exhausted
So I've been really working through this. I've been working through this over-functioning part and realizing that this part is rooted in inadequacy and shame and these old strategies that I use to feel worthy and to get connection. and approval and love and validation and all the things we're seeking as human beings, I learned to do this in like an unhealthy way. So navigating burnout for me has looked like, well, having to pull back.
having to prioritize myself more, having to take time away. And I've noticed that it's impacted. Well, I've had to cut my client load almost in half because of managing this business as well as my other business. It's just become too much. I think for me, I'm learning how to prioritize myself. And I'm also seeing that this is stunting.
growth of the community because you and I really are like spearheading this and we definitely have support around us but not really support in the sense of growth support it's like maintenance support little bit of growth support people wanting to like you know ambassadors wanting to um you know create local meetup groups and people wanting to take on doing some online zoom stuff but for the most part we haven't been able to forge this forward because i feel like i've been in this
energy of spinning my tires and trying to really just come up for air. So I've been learning these, a lot of these really powerful lessons that I've had to learn. Like I said, it's the third period of burnout in my career. I finally this time learned the lessons, which is take holidays. Don't work through Christmas.
You don't need to always be providing for people. I matter. Like that's a huge lesson that I've been learning. So the reason why I'm sharing this is because this is going to be an important part of our episode today is talking a bit about how things need to look differently if we want. this community to grow and move forward because Michael and I only have two hands each. That's it.
and only so much time in our day. So we want to use this as an opportunity to talk a bit about the business structure. Yeah, anything come up for you just in hearing that? Yeah, a lot of similar stuff with me. I think I've seen you go through them. You guys don't know this, but Matt and I talk. throughout the week like all the time and then before we come on to record we have a little chat and even the weeks we don't record we still meet and talk so we know each other very well
consider you one of my closest friends, even though we've only actually met in person twice. You know, I know that I've held you accountable to that and you've held me accountable to that and we help each other accountable to that. I think people don't realize also that this is not.
what we do this is our side thing i dedicate fridays to this but the rest of the week i'm working in my in my business and i know you have your business with your clients and your courses and your stuff as well so i think you know we have to have some compassion for ourselves as well and that yeah we're doing we are doing a lot of compassion fatigue is real
Exactly. I think it's kind of ebbed and flowed for me. But, you know, at the peak, I was probably working 20 hours a week in this business, plus full time in my other business. Well, I've since cut that back. So I'm working about 30 hours in my other business and then probably about. 10.
in this, in this business. So I'm still working a 40 hour work week. And I want to just be very transparent with the audience because I think it's, you know, there might be a perception that might be inaccurate that this business is like an income generating business. This is like a servitude.
business for the most part the early stages when we were doing our membership we had an income coming in a very small income coming in to subsidize things but really we were breaking even even with cal and and and in the picture
and then Callan exited and Michael and I had to buy him out, then we don't really have an income coming in. So I wanted to just make that clear. Like, you know, we... just put out an email asking for donations and the courses that we've created really are kind of like we're willing to give you something for a donation back like take the course because that's helping sustain the community so i don't think people realize this and michael and i were like too modest to share
this before but really we're kind of like subsidizing this business and we have been for the last four and a half years so and with with love and with gratitude this isn't us like you know creating a sob story or anything I just want to be very transparent about you know the
the energy, the monetary resources that Michael and I are putting in to keep keeping this going and how we really can't sustain it moving forward. We need people support in different ways. So that's kind of why we wanted to create this episode just so we can. Again, be very transparent. We love being in servitude.
Like, I love it. I'm here on this planet. I call myself a spiritual servant. And I'm here on this planet to educate, to inspire, to help people grow and heal. And this is what I'm here to do. But I'm also going to be mindful that I only have so much. I only got so much bandwidth that I get every day.
And I have to be mindful of my resources and whatnot as well. So yeah, what are your thoughts about that, Michael? Yeah, I think it is an important distinction. And, you know, my, I'm going to speak for you as well about our... Our livelihood, our sustainability comes from our businesses. Matt's business inspired to be authentic. Mine is Willismo. So if you are supporting us there or seeing us there, that is...
sort of where our livelihood comes from. And then the Gaiman's Brotherhood, gaming going deeper, is something that, again, similar to Matt, I love to do this. I wouldn't give this up at all. I'm not in it for the money. I'm not in it for profit. Enjoy it. So yeah, I think that it is an important distinction to make.
Because, you know, we hear that a lot, like, oh, you know, we have our connection circles, a sliding scale where you to participate, you pay 10, 20 or $30. But then for our sharing circles, it's complimentary. Anyone can come, you don't have to pay anything. I want to make sure people know that that 10, 20 to $30.
donation to come to the connection circle. It's not going into our pockets. Yeah, exactly. And there's, you know, I'll be transparent as well as there's a pressure that I feel to provide. And I think I really want.
Well, first of all, I think when we reached out asking for donations, like the people who were able to support, like I think it's just tremendous. Like, thank you so much for supporting. And I think there's a certain group of people in our community that really understand our business. They know this stuff. This isn't going to be news to them. And these are the people that are really supportive of our business and the people who, and where I feel the pressure is there's people who reach out.
And they want us to build retreats. They want us to offer more of this and more of that and create these episodes on the podcast and do all these sorts of things. And that's where the pressure is coming from within me. And that's my own work. Like I'm working on like, you know, releasing that pressure because it's not mine.
to take on but this is my baby this is our baby like i love i love this so much but i really think that we're at a point where we need to start shifting this into a true brotherhood where people step up and they if you want this in the space then step up to create things.
And that's definitely going to help us grow because I don't think we can move forward and why we've seen such slow growth in the community as far as being able to bring offerings. Like it's taken us four and a half years to create an offering, like a connection circle where people can pay a small amount to come.
connect with other gay men right we should have had that in year one but we've built it so slow because there's only so much resources that we can allocate to it Again, if there is a desire to see this community branch and grow into certain areas, whether that's in-person retreats,
or more in-person events just in general, then we're going to need people to step up and support us. And maybe you can talk a little bit about that. What are some of the things that people can do if they're interested in wanting to step up? Yeah, that's a great point. And even virtual events as well, right? So there are lots of ways to do that. We have very specific areas of need. We can talk about that right now. Yeah. There's specific areas that we are looking for help with.
One is the website. When we have two amazing guys, we put out a call in our email list. I'm sorry, on Facebook, I think it was. for help with our website and two amazing guys have stepped up. And so we're covered in that area. Thank you to you. You know who you are. And we will be looking for very specific areas that we need help in with, with our ambassador program specifically, which we can talk about and also with marketing.
because this is a big piece of growth, is marketing and how to get our message out there, how to attract the right people that are aligned with the vision that we have here. And those skill sets, because again, Matt and I are only two heads, two hearts and four hands. And it really helps to have people who are new to this, who have a different perspective than us to help us with this. Yeah. And I don't think they would mind us sharing because it was public.
when they said, but Daniel, so Daniel and Dor. Thank you. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I have built that website and then have been working on it. And it's a lot. It's a lot to do this back end stuff, right? So now that we have two people that are willing to take this on and support us, like it's tremendous. And then that, again, releases pressure from...
from me and i can allocate those services to other things right so this is really i think why we're creating this call to action like we really need support if we want uh this baby to to turn into a toddler and then a child and a teenager we need We need developmental support. So, yeah. So what I'm hearing, we got website support.
in place marketing right if anybody wants to step into like a marketing position whether that's doing copywriting or helping us with our email stuff to help us our seller our courses which that those funds go back into the community These sorts of things. Tell us a bit more about the ambassador program, because we have the local meetup groups, right? And the ambassador program, if you wanted to share a little bit of information about what that is and what we're looking for in that area.
Yeah. So our ambassador program, we just launched this year, like a few months ago, I think just the summer. And the whole point of it is to create community where you are. So ambassadors are people who share the vision and mission of the Gay Men's Brotherhood, and they want to bring that to their local community.
So you might be someone listening here and you might live in a city that, you know, has a, and you'd say, oh my gosh, I'd love to bring some kind of event to the city and do that in person. We get a lot of that. People want in-person events that are local. Those are the two big needs. But Matt and I are two people. He's in Calgary. I'm in Toronto. We can't be everywhere all at once. And we would be burnt out if we even tried. So we need help. We need ambassadors to step up and say, hey.
I support this vision and I want to host these kinds of events. And the thing is, the great thing is, I think. You get to do whatever event you want, really, as long as it is within the umbrella and the boundaries that we set forth. But they could be anything from a picnic in the park to go.
you know, bowling, you can have a little book club. There's so many different events you can have that really suit your needs. People can do hikes, they can do little cycling clubs, whatever you want. And what that does is it really helps to foster the support group and connection that we see so much. the virtual group, but do it locally in person because there is something special about that local in-person connection.
And so we are looking for these ambassadors who are wanting to step into this position of leadership. But also, don't forget, you have the support of Matt, myself, and all the other ambassadors. We've got a group now. I don't know how many are in there now. We have our own little WhatsApp chat. We talk about...
ideas and best practices. We give you guys a lot of stuff to put the events on, but you're not doing it alone. That's really nice, right? Just as I was saying in the beginning, it was nice having these guys when I was first starting the podcast because they really helped me through it.
we have that, we have you covered here. And yeah, you get to make the impact you want to make in a way that is aligned with you in your community. So for anyone out there who has a need or a value of wanting to contribute, wanting to...
ad wanting to say, yeah, I want to do something, but I don't know what this is exactly it. And it's local and we support you. And you're in another group of people who are doing the same thing all over the world. So if you want to bring that vision to life, then we invite you to be an ambassador. Amen. And we have so much talent.
and love and support and like leadership in this community like I see it when in the Facebook group I see it at our online events like we have some serious skill in this group in this community and I think it's really important that we leverage it right and that if your heart is singing and you want to bring your song into this community like please step up and maybe it's not in these that we're listing so we're talking here marketing manager we're looking for an ambassador coordinator that
can take on the the pioneering of this ambassador program really we will be there to support you for sure can be like the three of us really but we need somebody that can spearhead that and like organize things and stuff like that and then we have the website management already covered
However, if there's if your skill set is something that you want to contribute in the community and it's something beyond these three roles, we're very open to this as well, because there's again, like Michael and I's vision and ideas are just it's singular at this point. It's just ours.
But if we want to diversify, we can bring in other people's visions into our grand vision. Again, obviously, just making sure it's in alignment with what we're doing here, which our vision and mission statement are stated on our website. If it's within that realm of personal development, healing, growth.
and you have a skill set that you can bring forward, please let us know. And keep in mind, this is all in servitude. This isn't, we don't have the resources to be able to have paid positions. This is all going to be volunteer-based stuff, which is essentially what Michael and I have been doing all along anyway. We're looking for people to practice the virtue of servitude within our beautiful community. And if there is an interest at all, please email us.
info at gaymensbrotherhood.com and you can express your interest there. Yes, please do email us because sometimes I find people will send a message on Facebook and if we're not friends, it'll go into my spam and I won't see it for weeks and months at a time. Please book us. Please email info at gaymansbrotherhood.com. Let's shift the conversation to our vision. Moving forward, you and I have a lot of...
We're both very inspired people. We're inspired to help and support. And I think I want to talk a bit about that. Like, let's get the juices flowing of inspiration. So the question is where or what do you what do you want to see from our vision moving forward? And where do you see us in, say, five years? Good question. I also want to say Matt and I are both very idea visionary.
Guys, we can come up with a million ideas in a minute, but we really need help with execution and like the admin work. And we do have some people helping us with that. So if that's your area of strength and maybe you don't want to be front and center necessarily. but you're really good at staying organized and being efficient, then yeah, that might be something that we can help with an execution.
okay so i like this question i think you know we're already seeing it a bit with an expansion of offerings so within our community we have been doing now sharing circles since the beginning so start off with one now it's two sharing circles per month then this year we added connection circles so again we have one will be two starting in january also we have more niche groups that have come up and i want to
Tell you guys, these niche groups were not because Matt and I sought them out. The people who wanted to run them came to us and said, hey, I have an idea. I think this would be great. What do you think? And the niche groups that we have, just so you guys know.
are a 60 plus. Every month, our 60 plus members meet up on the first Wednesday of the month. And they're run by guys within the community who do that. We also recently have started a group for guys who are HIV positive. And again, they came to... us to say hey i think it would be really valuable to have a subgroup a support group for these guys and their meeting at least for now monthly so we really want to honor that there are more diverse and unique member interests
And there are times and places where it's really important for those people to have their own little subgroup, still under the umbrella of the Gay Men's Brotherhood, but once in a while to have a conversation of just those people. So I see more of that happening. I hope someone listening here is like, oh, it'd be really fun.
you know, if we had a subgroup for this group of people. And if you want to run that, by all means, please let us know. So that's one in the virtual sense, in the in-person sense, definitely, you know. retreats we've been talking about for a long time. But again, we don't want to run a retreat where Matt and I are burnt out and exhausted at the retreat. We want to run a retreat where we show up full, ready, excited, encouraged, motivated, and thrilled to see you, not an MD.
Okay. We need your help with that. The ambassador program, which we just talked about, in five years, I imagine that there are events running all the time that at any given moment, you can go onto the website and find your city and say, okay, cool, there's an event happening next week, or there's a book club happening next month, or there's a restaurant.
date happening all over the world and so i think it's very international is the way i see it maybe five years maybe sooner would be great and then another thing is just the growth of the podcast itself We have been doing these episodes, Matt and I, for four and a half years is what we said. What are we at? Episode 230 something, 220 something.
And so I think hearing from, we have great guests, and I think hearing from more of those kinds of diverse guests with diverse perspectives is definitely an area of growth for the podcast itself and the community. Because Matt and I have shared a lot of our stuff already. We have more to share, but...
I think it's really important to have a different voice once in a while. And that's why I love when we get to do guests because we get to have these other people in and our audience gets to experience someone else's perspective, which I think is really valuable. So yeah, I want to see more of that. And that's where I see.
the growth yeah i want to share with the audience too i just i'm all about transparency today so a celebration transparency celebration is we just hit a milestone on youtube so we hit a million views on youtube for our channel And we have 800,000 downloads on the podcast. That's 1.8 million people have tuned in too.
our episodes or maybe not people but that's how many times our episodes have been viewed so we are making a really like an impact on people and we get emails weekly i get private messages weekly all sorts of things and people are really inspired by what we're we're creating And like I said, we know there's other people in the community that want to step in and provide this inspiration as well and help with my vision. My vision is that gay men can heal, first of all, and empower themselves.
So they can have more secure and long lasting, meaningful intimacy relationships. I think that's, that's the biggest part for me because I see a lack of that in our community, right? It's sex, sex, sex. And a lot of us don't know how to relate to one.
another in these deeper more meaningful ways because of things like shame and trauma so that vision will not change because that's that's going to be my vision until i see enough healing in our community that this is no longer a problem that'll still it'll be my vision and i know there's a lot of other practitioners who come before for me who have executed executed executed and we're not able to you know see this change in the community but i'm seeing a shift in the community like as we speak
There's people, these types of communities are growing, more and more people are seeking consciousness and intimacy, and there's a lot more demisexuals in the group, which I think is, in my opinion, this might be a biased opinion, but I think it's an evolved form.
of sexuality and i think the more that we connect our spirit and our our sexual selves the more that we yearn for deeper ways of relating with one another right not saying that you still can't have yummy casual sex right but having a big bigger arsenal of ways that you can you can connect that's conscious sexuality for me so that's that's a big piece of it
And then for myself, I have a vision for myself and it's to stop over-functioning, to stop saying yes when I need to say no, to not take on everything, to trust that the task will get done and it will get done well if my hands aren't in the pot because that's a part of it. For me, it's a control thing. And that's what's leading to burnout. So I said to Michael a few weeks ago, I said, 2025 is the year of delegation for me. I am learning.
the art of delegation and how to be a leader in the sense of taking all the information and then delegate the tasks accordingly. That's what I want to execute on in 2025. So for me, that's going to look like being curious, being open. Letting people approach me with opportunities that they have, ideas, these sorts of things, and then taking them in and saying what's going to best serve our community and then providing.
offerings opportunities for people to be able to engage in in these things so that's a big piece and then i just i have this vision it's like an actual like vision in my imagination of like us in circle in person and like practicing all the things that i that i know and i've learned over the last 10 years through authentic relating through different modalities internal family systems work through different retreats that i've facilitated at
hosted and i want to bring that to our community i want to bring conscious touch ideas around conscious sexuality authentic relating like really looking each other in the eye and healing together like that's what I'm yearning for and I want to bring that together in our community I'm kind of I'm kind of fatigued with the online stuff I'll be completely honest like I love it still but I
I feel like I need touch. I need sense. I need my five senses to get involved in this process. I'm a very tactile person, so I want to bring community in person. I think it's going to be a big part of...
of our vision moving forward. Well, we've been talking about it for so long now. And a lot of you guys out there have asked us, have literally asked us, this is something we would love to see. So we know there's a desire. There's a desire on our part, that's for sure. But as I said, we can't do it all and we do need your help. I said to Michael my boundary is that I can't start retreat building.
until we have support for these other things. I can't take on the piloting of an ambassador program and build a retreat at the same time. It's impossible for me. So we need to step up and take these things from us so we can go in and we can create the main offering that we get.
hear people wanting over and over and over again and have for years right so michael and i need to free up our our bandwidth and our times to be able to start to work on retreat building because it's a huge undertaking to build a retreat yeah and this is this is really a call
to action for people out there listening who maybe feel inspired by this conversation, who maybe want to be part of something or want a little slice of it. Like, you know, this is your chance to really take on a more active role in the community, not just the Gay Men's Brotherhood community, but the gay community at large, we often say, be the change you want to see in the community. Don't just sit back passively and wish, because I don't think it's very empowering to...
see other people as more capable or depend fully on other people to make the change for you. I think it's much more empowering to say, hey, I want to be part of this and here's how I can share on that. And sure, maybe some people might be more natural leaders than you are, fine. And then you can work.
together, you can complement each other and you can bring your idea and your vision and work together to help create it instead of just sitting back and saying, hey, go do this. I'm just going to sit here and wait for you to do it. Just show up and then not be what you want. Because Matt and I here are offering a chance to really shape that and what that looks like. And we want to hear from you again, as long as it's aligned. So, and I get it. Action is scary. I was there.
As I said in the beginning, it is scary, but we've got your back. We've done this before and you wouldn't be alone. We're a team here. We're a brotherhood. Okay, so before we wrap up, change is coming. So do you want to share with them the changes that are coming in 2025 that we're aware of at this point? Yeah, for sure. Okay, so we talked about the ambassador program. So that one is going to be in full effect starting in January. We did a bit of a pilot program now.
We've had our first few peeps come in and we're going to be expanding that in 2025. The second thing is, and this is big for anyone who listens to the podcast, we have had connection circles and sharing circles. on the second and last Thursdays of the month. Matt hosts the sharing circle at 8pm Eastern, Reno and I host the one at 1pm Eastern. And then we have one sharing circle or one connection circle rather on the second Thursday of the month at
8pm. Starting in 2025, there will now be four different events per month. So we're separating them out. So Matt will continue to host the sharing circle at 8pm. and he will host the Connection Circle at 8 p.m. Eastern. These are Eastern times. Going forward, I will still be hosting the Sharing Circles at 1 p.m. Eastern, but they're going to be in a different week. They're going to be in the first Thursday.
of the month so it'll go i'll host a sharing circle on week one matt will host a sharing circle in week two and then instead of having just one connection circle per month we're adding another one so we're having two so same thing Matt's going to continue hosting the 8 p.m. one, the evening one. So it'll be it'll go connect or so the connection circles go first. So Michael will be connection circle one, week one. I'll be connection circle week two. And then and then Mike.
Erica will be sharing circle week three, and then I will be sharing circle week four. So there'll be four different events per month. And the good thing is, the reason we want to do this is because there's a lot of you guys out there who say that the time zone doesn't work for you. The late night time zone doesn't work. So I will be hosting.
Both connection circles and sharing circles will always be at 1pm Eastern, which is, for those of you who are overseas, if you're in the UK, that's 6pm. If you're in Central Europe, that's 7pm. If you're in South Africa, that's 8pm. If you're in Dubai in the Middle East, that's 10 PM. And if you're in Mumbai in India, that's 11 PM. So these are much more doable.
times versus that 8pm time slot. So we want to welcome all of our international folks. Maybe one day we'll get to a phase where those in Southeast Asia and Australia will have a time slot for you too. I understand that right now these two don't necessarily work for you guys, but hey.
that might be part of the growth opportunity there yeah my time slot i think works for them it's it's a probably in their work day like i think it's like 10 a.m or something like that in brisbane okay along those lines so it tends to cover them if they if they really wanted to come so why we did this is
because we have now an offering each week. So we wanted to space it out. There was a lot of people that were coming to my... starting circle in the evening and they were like oh I was at Michael's this afternoon I was like oh wouldn't it be nice if they could go one on week one and then one on week three so then they could split it up and they get more so anyway just more opportunity for connection and coming together
And yeah, just please be mindful to that. Like, again, the connection circle is a very, very low ticket item.
we created that way for a reason it's accessible for everybody it's a sliding scale that those funds go into the community it's like what keeps us going it's what it's what sustains us as well as the course so if you purchase one of our courses that money goes back into the community it allows us to keep our podcast running allows us to we have an assistant who supports us with some of our admin stuff it allows us to pay her all these sorts of things is what really
This comes to this is not lining Michael and I's pockets at all. So I think that's the main things that we wanted to cover in today's episode. And we are beyond excited to start 2025 with you guys and bring. We're starting with coming out. That's going to be our theme for January. And we created some really powerful emotional episodes. And then we've got a lot of great themes coming up in 2025. So we're looking forward to walking this path with you.
Again, if there's any questions, comments, or you want to express interest in helping, you know, volunteer in our community, please email us info at gaymensbrotherhood.com. And I want to thank. You, Michael, for coming on, obviously, and sharing and being vulnerable. And to our listener viewer, yeah, thanks for being part of our 1.8 million views. That's pretty cool that we're...
We have this massive reach, which is great. And then keeping in mind too that this podcast and YouTube channel, our listener and viewer supported. If you do enjoy what we're creating, you can support us by making a donation to the show using the link in the show notes, or you can tap the thanks button on YouTube and make a donation. that way and also helping us and support the community is the early access option on Apple.
So you get to listen ad free, you get early access, plus the small increment goes into the pot and allows us to put funds back into the community. So with this, we do thank you in advance for all of your support and we look forward to seeing you. one of our many events happening in 2025. And for everything GMP, you can go to gaymensbrotherhood.com. All right. Much love, everybody.