Following years of grappling with trauma, I have encountered and contended with heightened anxiety. Particularly, since a health scare more than a decade ago, I've observed a pronounced susceptibility to anxiety, with triggers manifesting swiftly and persisting with minimal provocation. In addition, I explore the challenge of those close in one's life comprehending the intricacies of trauma and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). Frequently, well-intentioned individuals may inadverte...
Dec 16, 2023•34 min•Season 3Ep. 32
This is a continuation of the previous episode to a degree.. I wanted to try and elaborate on how for those who are suffering from CPTSD and ADHD (or ADD) often have a very difficult time knowing the history of each diagnosis as well as did I have ADHD from my early childhood development? or do my ADHD symptoms actually come from the repetitive abuse, bullying, trauma during my years in school? It is well known from recent studies that CPTSD related trauma causes the same developmental problems ...
Dec 09, 2023•40 min•Season 3Ep. 31
I present to my audience an episode that originally aired March 25, 2022. One of my most popular episodes in the 3+ years of this podcast. This theory, Structural Dissociation Theory in my opinion has the ability to be the most helpful and successful way of helping those who suffer from CPTSD and have multiple flashbacks and have child parts. Our brain has parts that develop personalities that are Child Parts who interact with Adult Parts when they become triggered due to a flashback from trauma...
Dec 02, 2023•45 min
I have ADD (a form of ADHD) and CPTSD. Most of the time the two are in conflict with one another, fighting inside my head and causing nothing but havoc emotionally and even physically at times. My ADD creates impulse issues, focus problems and tends to make me become extremely indecisive and become bored easily. However, it also allows me to be very creative, big imagination and can lead to some interesting times. Unfortunately at the same time, because of my CPTSD I become scared with feelings ...
Nov 25, 2023•51 min•Season 3Ep. 30
Our world isn't exactly the greatest place to be today.. a lot of unnecessary death, political corruption, extremism (on both sides) and a lot of hate being tossed around like a salad. I have been noticing more so lately that all the shit happening today in our society is creating a lot of stress and I often feel on the verge of becoming triggered. Why you ask? First of all I have CPTSD of course.. but like some of you know I also have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and my brain often gets eas...
Nov 18, 2023•35 min•Season 3Ep. 29
For much of my life I have felt unworthy of people's attention, am not allowed to look at them in the eyes, speak before spoken to. I believe that they'll get angry at me for looking at them! I often feel unwelcome at group events, whether I know them or not. This has me often feeling alone and desperately craving acceptance and feeling wanted. Most of this has come from years of bullying and abuse from my classmates in school, suffering traumatic and horrible rejection, being laughed at or scol...
Nov 11, 2023•35 min•Season 3Ep. 28
Everyone who suffers from CPTSD will go through the pain, the discouraging sadness of CPTSD's hard reality, that we just are not there yet! We have not healed nearly enough to be able to get up on our feet after being knocked down numerous times and try one more time! Sure, stubbornly we do believe we are ready and often ignore the helping hand given by those who care very much for us. Why? because we ironically feel safe with someone who be firmly think is going to be different "this time" unti...
Nov 04, 2023•38 min•Season 3Ep. 27
So my therapist and I recently discussed how I am thinking way too much about trying to find pieces to fit into a situation in order to come up with an answer to a problem that is never really answered. I analyze every detail and obsess about the details hoping to find something that will tell me "Yes this is a good idea!" or that will also say "No that is not a good idea.." It is extremely stressful and creates a lot of anxious feelings inside me! The therapist says that being a confidence pers...
Oct 28, 2023•33 min•Season 3Ep. 26
You know how after being single for a while you feel that urge to once again start dating? You that that feeling of such strong fear that you aren't good enough for anyone?, that you'll just keep screwing it up again and be right back at square one? Loads of anxiety and that obvious insecurity inside yourself that prevents you from making anything out of something? Welcome to my world everyone! I am so afraid of becoming a repeating record time and time again that It's now to the point where I'm...
Oct 21, 2023•37 min•Season 3Ep. 25
When you have suffered from CPTSD it’s often impossible to do what’s best for you. Your childhood taught you that everyone else comes before yours. And that your needs, wants and experiences don’t matter. One can go through life this way, but if you are a person who desires something bigger and better in life something will have to change. And that change often means breaking through fears you didn’t even know we’re there. It can be terrifying and usually full of identity bending meltdowns. Gene...
Oct 07, 2023•32 min•Season 3Ep. 24
Children throughout the US and the world suffer child abuse or neglect enabled by religious belief every day. The impacts of this maltreatment can have serious long term effects and can even be fatal . Whether a child is raised Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or of any other faith, he or she is at risk, particularly if the adults responsible for their wellbeing are part of an authoritarian culture. Often people in society who are suffering from Mental Illness due to Trauma, child abuse, domestic abus...
Oct 04, 2023•40 min•Season 3Ep. 23
When you have suffered from CPTSD it’s often impossible to do what’s best for you. Your childhood taught you that everyone else comes before yours. And that your needs, wants and experiences don’t matter. One can go through life this way, but if you are a person who desires something bigger and better in life something will have to change. And that change often means breaking through fears you didn’t even know we’re there. It can be terrifying and usually full of identity bending meltdowns. Gene...
Sep 30, 2023•39 min•Season 3Ep. 22
A week ago I went on a road trip with my parents to Saskatchewan, which is about a 5 hour or so drive from home. Like the title says, I became triggered a few times over the course of 2 1/2 days. It had been nearly 7 years since the last time we all went together and stayed together, usually this is not something I enjoy. With my parents aging and my mother having some health issues making life much harder, my father doesn't always know how to handle things in a constructive and healthy manner. ...
Sep 23, 2023•41 min•Season 3Ep. 21
As humans, we all yearn for companionship in various forms. Some seek love, loyalty, and family, while others desire physical connections devoid of intimacy. Some prefer a wide circle of surface-level friends, while some cherish a few close, meaningful friendships akin to family. Our early years at school shape our social skills, but for many, it's marred by various challenges, like shyness or even abuse. These early experiences can affect our self-worth and ability to trust in love. My own jour...
Sep 16, 2023•34 min•Season 3Ep. 20
When you grow up, or even in adulthood, and you're confronted with traumatic events, especially those linked to Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or CPTSD, it can feel like you're navigating through a never-ending storm. Whether it's an abusive partner, a toxic parent, or just an ordinary person who inflicts harm, the scars they leave behind can run deep. Imagine being trapped in a relationship with a narcissist, someone who slowly chips away at your self-worth until you begin to believe ev...
Sep 09, 2023•47 min•Season 3Ep. 19
Throughout my healing journey, I had a dedicated therapist who guided me through the darkness of my trauma. However, this path was marred by a unique challenge—my ex-girlfriend, who believed she knew what was best for me, often conflicting with my therapist's approach. Her strong influence during therapy sessions complicated my healing process. Realizing the need for unbiased healing, I made a significant decision—to change therapists. This marked a fresh start, prioritizing my well-being away f...
Sep 02, 2023•35 min•Season 3Ep. 18
Enjoy this Encore presentation of a Season 2 Episode 31 of my Podcast! CPTSD triggers arise from past trauma, when safety was absent and danger loomed. To feel secure, our inner parts merge with the adult, striving for safety amid peril. A must for CPTSD sufferers: unwavering safety, be it in people or places, as lack thereof triggers flashbacks and yearnings for refuge. This quest for safety can breed isolation, urging us to seek solace in the outside world. Tune in to my podcast, exploring the...
Aug 26, 2023•58 min•Season 3Ep. 17
I had a rough week, starting with seeing my Ex looking at my profile on a dating site to feeling discouraged and lost to having all the built up tension almost come out on a friend. It did show me however that Fear is really holding me back! I am so afraid of being rejected and also afraid of being in another relationship with someone who is abusive! I don't feel like I am strong enough, brave enough to say "no this isn't going to work, I'm sorry" to the next woman I date if she doesn't work out...
Aug 19, 2023•33 min•Season 3Ep. 16
A large percentage of people in society struggle with handling stress and anxiety while in their work environment. It often causes break downs, burnouts, stress leave and can lead to health problems that affect their lives. Now imagine what that must all feel like to someone who ALSO has CPTSD and has gone through abuse during their childhood or a violent relationship! add that into the equation! Stress in the work environment will definitely make us more susceptible to becoming triggered but we...
Aug 12, 2023•31 min•Season 3Ep. 15
"For those of us who've weathered trauma, particularly during our formative years, the realm of social interactions often poses significant challenges. Personally, I find my self-confidence to be a struggle, a factor that subsequently hampers my ability to assert my needs and establish firm personal boundaries, whether in relationships or in life. One concern that deeply resonates with me is the fear of perpetuating a pattern: entering a romantic relationship, only to discover later that the per...
Aug 05, 2023•32 min•Season 3Ep. 14
Embarking on the journey to heal from trauma is a profound and demanding undertaking, encompassing numerous intricate steps. Amidst the struggle and pain, a transformative process unfolds, gradually bestowing upon you a sense of empowerment and an exuberant emotional resurgence. Yet, let's be clear: the labor required to achieve this isn't outsourced to therapists or friends—it rests squarely on your shoulders. Progress arises from your diligence, dedication, and the time invested. With persiste...
Jul 29, 2023•31 min•Season 3Ep. 13
Part 2 of this 2 episode Podcast. My ex stands as a vivid illustration of someone who emerged from an abusive upbringing only to relive her traumatic past within a relationship, mirroring the very maltreatment she suffered from her parents. This account encompasses verbal and physical abuse, manipulation, and harsh judgment, among other unsettling traits. Evidently, classic indicators of Narcissism and Borderline Personality Disorder were present. Across this two-part episode, we delve into the ...
Jul 15, 2023•49 min•Season 3Ep. 12
My ex stands as a vivid illustration of someone who emerged from an abusive upbringing only to relive her traumatic past within a relationship, mirroring the very maltreatment she suffered from her parents. This account encompasses verbal and physical abuse, manipulation, and harsh judgment, among other unsettling traits. Evidently, classic indicators of Narcissism and Borderline Personality Disorder were present. Across this two-part episode, we delve into the genesis of our relationship, traci...
Jul 08, 2023•41 min•Season 3Ep. 11
Today I have Dr. Gillian O'Shea Brown on my podcast as my Guest! she's a very educated, caring and understanding Psychotherapist who specializes in CPTSD and EMDR therapy. Together we discuss a lot of my past trauma and the reality behind it all, doing some deep evaluation of my past relationship and what I eventually learned about what having it end did for me and gave me the strength to grow wiser and learn so much more about my Trauma and its real background. Please take a look at her Instagr...
Jun 24, 2023•55 min•Season 3Ep. 10
After all the time apart from my past abuser, my Ex Girlfriend.. no longer having to hear her attack me, tell me lies and abuse me and manipulate me, I am seeing it all in my dreams at night! She arrives just like when I lived with her 4 months ago and it looks and feels so real! I try with all I can to fight back, to say what I couldn't say when I was there but the words just don't come and once again am re-traumatized and I am triggered. Just now its in my Subconscious... I haven't seen her si...
Jun 17, 2023•36 min•Season 3Ep. 9
This is a necessary step along our journey to healing from our trauma and moving forward with our lives. If we do not find a way to create, hold and spread out the positive energy day to day the healing process will be a lot more difficult, stressful and decreased our chances of truly finding peace with our past. Yes, this is difficult to achieve and healing from the abuse we suffered at the hands of our Abuser, the narcissist, the psychopath, the one we continue to fall back on instead of chang...
Jun 04, 2023•35 min•Season 3Ep. 8
I tell you today, life is not that much fun even though I am no longer with my Ex and I love on my own! Always little things, experiences and memories or reminders that happen during my day that causes a great deal of pain and anxiety, not to mention emotionally beating myself up! I know this is just one trigger on top of another and I realize I am safe from her abuse but my fragile mind, my parts can't see my reality as they only see what they still fear. It's so mentally defeating and it hurts...
May 20, 2023•33 min•Season 3Ep. 7
As simple as it sounds, I kid you not... Recovery is far from it with many twists and turns, set backs and joy our road to recovery is going to be very stressful and hard to deal with, even at the best of times! Everyone will begin to recover once they have come to the self conclusion that they must get the help they deserve! Don't be surprised if you at times feel overwhelmed, sad, discouraged and angry at yourself! But the fight is worth it when you finally get to where you're meant to be but ...
May 07, 2023•33 min•Season 3Ep. 6
This week is a re-broadcast of a Season 1 episode from August 14th 2022 from my previous podcast Living With ADHD and CPTSD. a Discussion about Triggers and CPTSD We all deal with triggers when we have CPTSD, that's life! Unless we have years of work under our belts and processed like our lives depend on it we are likely going to experience a lot of triggers. Learning why they happen and learning how to notice them is really a difficult step along the way to healing from CPTSD but it certainly i...
Apr 29, 2023•40 min•Season 3Ep. 5
When you become triggered and your CPTSD becomes active, the fear inside you is strong! So damn strong that your body reacts in such a way that you are frozen, you feel sick and it paralyzes you! Fear is really the main piece of our Trauma, our CPTSD. But Feelings, our emotions aren't that simple, never that straight forward. WE all know that. Want to contact me? Twitter Mastodon Threads traumatizedpodcast2023@gmail.com Podcast Website YouTube - NEW!...
Apr 22, 2023•35 min•Season 3Ep. 4
