This isn't therapy... it's the episode about therapy breakthroughs. The therapeutic "aha!" is known to many as the nugget of therapy gold that taught us something new, changed our perspective on something, or unlocked a new layer of growth. In this episode, Jake and Simon share therapy breakthroughs from the Lovely Listeners. Tune in for a discussion about the things therapy taught us (or technically-- you)! Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Bonjourrrr, hi! Follow us on...
Apr 06, 2023•45 min
This Isn't Therapy...but this is an episode about the overuse of therapy language and the impact its having on our relationships. Gaslighting? Triggered? Trauma-bonding? What do these words actually mean!? And are we using them correctly? Listen to find out. Also, Jake and Simon welcome special guests: Dr. Miriam-Webster, Tammy Toxic, and Gary Gaslight. This is an episode you absolutely don't want to miss, mmmmmkay? Articles: TIME: Gaslighting, Narcissist, and More Psychology Terms You're Misusi...
Mar 30, 2023•44 min
This isn't therapy... it's the episode about self-diagnosis. In this episode, Jake and Simon pull back the curtain on diagnosis and ask if we can truly give ourselves a mental health diagnosis. Jake and Simon read two very different perspectives, submitted by two licensed therapists, and discuss the pros and cons of self-diagnosis. In the final segment, Jake shares how he approaches self-diagnosis in his work as a therapist. Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Bonjourrrr,...
Mar 23, 2023•48 min
This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-overdue conversation about the crisis of connection and loneliness. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about a recent study which captured the changes in the brain due to isolation and loneliness. They also discuss the finding that exposure to social experiences alone do not resolve the crisis of connection -- that is, exposing lonely individuals to more social relationships is not the way forward. They also talk about another funny finding about flamingos a...
Mar 16, 2023•35 min
This Isn't Therapy...this is a prediction episode about the future of therapy. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how Artificial Intelligence (AI), Virtual Reality (VR), and Web 3.0 (what!?!) and how they may (or may already be!) impacting therapy for therapists and clients alike. Jake and Simon also discuss what Americans are saying about the use of AI chatbots in therapy and react to a recent comment from the Talkspace CEO that AI can improve therapist performance and boost quality of ...
Mar 09, 2023•52 min
This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 2) fun, flirty, fabulous convo about our needs! If you haven't listened to part one yet, what are you doing?! Go listen and then come back, Wendy!! In this episode, Jake and Simon expand on our types of needs and introduce us to our core relational needs of safety, belonging and mattering (the tandem needs!) and then discuss the difference between Mimetic Desire and Mimetic Rivalries. How do we know if our needs are being met? This is a must-listen episode! C...
Mar 02, 2023•46 min
This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 1) conversation about our needs - what are they? Why is everyone talking about them? And how do you know if your needs are being met? What follows is a funny and fabulous convo about Primal, Survival, and Growth needs (oh my!) This episode is essential for anyone out there wondering: what are my needs?! Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @direct...
Feb 23, 2023•36 min
This isn't therapy, baby, it's a conversation about dating and modern relationship expectations. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about hook up culture and the current dating landscape for singles, one where dating apps (and one company in particular!) set the tone for our future with one another. They talk about "situationships" and how to spot the characteristics of a situationship-- a casual, undefined, commitment-free relationship. Article referenced: What is a situationship? By Sanjana ...
Feb 16, 2023•40 min
This Isn't Therapy... it’s a delicious conversation about healthy ways of measuring progress in life. Jake and Simon chat about the common fear of falling behind in life and hear from two lovely listeners about their experiences with comparing, despairing, awfulizing, and catastrophizing. They also talk about how it relates to hustle culture and sets the conditions for self-diagnosis. There is lots to discuss with this ✨therapy theme✨! Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host ...
Feb 09, 2023•47 min
This Isn't Therapy... it’s the long-awaited episode about r̶u̶g̶g̶e̶d̶-i̶n̶d̶i̶v̶i̶d̶u̶a̶l̶i̶s̶m̶ SHREK. Okay, okay, okay, we admit, this is just an excuse to talk about the seminal film, and character of the same name, SHREK. Yes, Shrek. The rugged individualist of our time. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the concept of rugged individualism, the myth and unhelpful belief that we should be able to do it all on our own. We’re digging deep and peeling back the many layers of this onion...
Feb 02, 2023•36 min
This Isn't Therapy...but this is a fun, flirty, and fab conversation about pity (and her twin sister grandiosity).Through two lovely listener stories, Jake and Simon explore the very human behaviour of downward comparison ("I feel sorry for you" vs. "I'm sooOOoo glad I'm not you"). Ever compare yourself to someone's vacation pics and think "I would NEVER do that" ? Or run into an old friend you lost touch with and leave that interaction glad that "you didn't turn out like them?" It's okay! We wo...
Jan 26, 2023•37 min
This isn't therapy... it's a fun, flirty, fab conversation about our friend perfectionism. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two submissions from the lovely listeners about comparison and needing things to be perfect. Jake shares three essential ingredients for healthy striving, the ultimate antidote to comparing from a place of perfectionism. Let's dive in. :-) Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @msw...
Jan 19, 2023•42 min
Happy New Year, lovelies! This isn’t therapy… it’s the first episode of 2023! Grab your pens and pencils because in this episode, Jake and Simon are helping you put in the work. Through an important conversation about values, Jake and Simon talk about how to take effective action in your life by picking a Word of the Year. James Clear’s “Core Values List” Brene Brown’s “List of Values” Hello, hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon Ep...
Jan 12, 2023•51 min
This isn’t therapy… it’s our last episode of 2022— about 2022! Jake and Simon round off the year with a fun and flirty Q&A using The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock. Join us for our last laughs and giggles of the year. Be sure to go back and listen to Part 1 if you haven’t yet! 🥂 P.S. Thanks for being here this year. We appreciate you SO MUCH! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck...
Dec 29, 2022•23 min
This Isn't Therapy...but this is an original spin on the famed holiday classic!! This Isn't Therapy presents: 'Twas the Night Before Therapy. On the eve of her first therapy session, Molly is grappling with all her worries and woes when suddenly she's visited by two magical guests from her ~favourite~ podcast. Enjoy this fun, flirty, fabulous BONUS episode narrated (& performed) by Jake and Simon. To all our lovely listeners, thank you for being here, we wish you a restful holidays, and chee...
Dec 23, 2022•6 min
This isn’t therapy… it’s a conversation about 2022! In this episode, Jake and Simon bounce The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock back and forth. We are rounding up and rounding out the year with a casual and fun two-part Q&A. Get ready to giggle. Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck...
Dec 22, 2022•34 min
This isn’t therapy… it’s a conversation about when the past is present in the therapy room. In this episode, Jake and Simon explore two therapy terms, transference and countertransference, to open up a conversation about what happens when clients own history is transferred onto a therapist and what happens when a therapist’s own history is transferred onto a client. It’s a conversation you don’t want to miss! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @directed...
Dec 15, 2022•43 min
This Isn't Therapy...but this is a throwback to a past episode about mindfulness - or what Jake calls "meeting the moment." Through the stories of two lovely listeners, Jake and Simon talk about how to make the most of every moment AND pitch a new chocolatey venture to therapy icon Brené Brown (notice us!!!) Bonjour, Hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck...
Dec 08, 2022•29 min
This Isn't Therapy...it's a conversation about WHY YOU'RE SO OBSESSED WITH ME. In episode 57 of the pod, Jake and Simon discuss popularity via the seminal film and cinematic masterpiece Mean Girls. What follows is a fetch conversation about status popularity vs. likability and the impact of horizontal/vertical relationships. How much do you love it? The limit does not exist! Bonjour, Hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mix...
Dec 01, 2022•37 min
This isn't therapy... it’s the episode about social media, dopamine, and the pleasure/pain balance. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the principles of social media addiction and how the devices and apps we love keep us trapped in cycles of overuse. They also discuss the power of dopamine and why you need to know about this important neurotransmitter! Dopamine detox, anyone? Book referenced: “Dopamine Nation” by Dr. Anna Lembke. Hello, hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake...
Nov 24, 2022•45 min
This isn't therapy...it’s a conversation about spotting red flags in therapy. In today's world, there has been increased attention put on the potential warning signs, or red flags, in our lives and relationships. Since the therapy room often reflects the norms of a culture, it is no surprise that therapy and therapists are also getting the red flag treatment. On one hand, this can be empowering for clients to own their experience and recognize how red flags show up in the therapeutic space. On t...
Nov 17, 2022•41 min
This isn't therapy... it’s the long-overdue episode about anger. Jake and Simon talk about the one quality of anger that makes it so strongly felt and unpack four major types of anger— long anger, short anger, hot anger, and cold anger! Hello, hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck...
Nov 10, 2022•38 min
This isn't therapy...it’s the episode about the morality of therapy-seeking. Recently some therapists have noticed that clients are showing up to therapy without a problem to solve or a goal to work on. They are showing up because “that’s what good people do.” Does going to therapy make you a “good” person? Let’s get into it. Hello, hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck Article discussed: “Why do peopl...
Nov 03, 2022•47 min
This isn't therapy... it's the grand opening of the Ha-Ha Chuckle Hut! Just kidding. It's the conversation about deflecting with humor. In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about the ups and downs of using humor to deflect from the things we don't want to feel. Hi friend! Join us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck...
Oct 27, 2022•44 min
This isn't therapy... it's the episode about Internal Family Systems Therapy! Dr. Richard Schwartz developed IFS in response to clients' descriptions of various parts within themselves. In this episode, Jake and Simon unpack the parts that make up our internal family and give you a taster for what IFS therapy is all about. Grab a notebook and a pen to unlock your best Self! Check us out on Instagram @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jord...
Oct 20, 2022•58 min
This isn't therapy-- it's your how-to guide to building better boundaries. In this episode, Jake and Simon dissect the art of boundary building. Using a fictional client named Kevin, they dive deep into what keeps us stuck in patterns of boundary-less behaviour. This episode is for you if you know what you need to say but you're just having trouble saying it. Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck...
Oct 13, 2022•43 min
This isn't therapy, bro! It's an episode about the gnarly new film "Bros". In this episode, two bros Jake and Simon bro out to a discussion about the role of (hyper)masculinity in queer culture. For those who are unfamiliar, Bros is the first gay rom-com from a major film studio. The movie takes everything you love about Bridesmaids and Mean Girls and, with whip-smart comedy, shows us the power of queer representation on and off screen. The movie features the first all-LGBTQ+ cast and tackles so...
Oct 06, 2022•39 min
This isn't therapy... it's an episode about being sexy online. In this day and age, some people are leading hypersexual double lives on the internet which is causing an array of mental health symptoms to crop up. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about social media pressure, hyperreality and hypersexuality, the pressures one might feel to engage in these behaviours, and why this might be occurring. Sex sells-- even on the internet-- and we're here to unpack it! Follow us on Instagram @notathe...
Sep 29, 2022•42 min
This isn't therapy...but this is an episode about learning from our mistakes . Jake and Simon reach into two #lovelylistener stories with their grubby little paws to discuss what it means to regret our mistakes vs. to not have any regrets at all (YOLO). What's the greatest mistake you ever made and why does it linger over us like a lil gassy cloud? Also, this episode may or may not feature a special guest from down under. Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Pal...
Sep 22, 2022•33 min
This Isn't Therapy but this is an episode about processing regrets and meeting our shadow parts ! Ooooo, spooky! What are the feelings behind regrets? Why do they feel so bad? What are shadow parts?! What follows is a casual kelly convo between Jake and Simon as they dive into two #lovelylistener stories - one about cheating and one about not spending enough time with a loved one before they passed away. Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @directedbysi...
Sep 15, 2022•29 min
