A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Hosted by Jemma Sbeg, each Tuesday and Friday we deep dive into the science and psychology behind a topic, concept or universal experience that defines our 20s - from dating, to mental health, career anxiety, friendship, finances and all the growing pains associated with this decade. Listen now.
In today's episode we break down the controversy but also the beauty of female friendship - why exactly are they so difficult? Or is that all a myth? It turns out what makes female friendships sometimes so difficult is also what makes them so rewarding - the intensity, the level of disclosure, the expectations, the bond! We also discuss how society tries to undermine the sacred nature of female friendship through competition, comparison and the cursed role of male attention, but also how to ensu...
The life of the highly sensitive person is often misunderstood. Highly sensitive aren't just people who cry too much or get overwhelmed, take things too personally: they actually take in so much of the world that it can be too much. They feel everything, from joy to sadness, so immediately and profoundly. They are also so in tune with the emotions of all those around them that sometimes it can be too much. Today we break down the psychology of the highly sensitive person, including: What are the...
This episode might be the wakeup call we all need that our traditional notions of success aren't working. We have been conditioned to see success as individualistic, full of sacrifice, centred around discipline, productivity and all about image and looking impressive. Actually, success is a lot more nuanced. Some of the most successful people in the world as the least happy because success does not allow us to prioritise what really matters to us and drives us. In this episode we break down: The...
All of us find ourselves remincising on the 'good old days' every now and then, but sometimes we can find ourselves getting trapped in the memories of the past and feeling like it will never be as good as it was. This is the nostalgia trap and it can keep us from being present, from enjoying our current season, or making new memories, it can also lead to nostalgic depression. It can be particulalry hard in our 20s when everyone is telling us these are 'the best years of our lives'. In today's ep...
Journalling is seen as one of the holy grails when it comes to trying to improve your mental health and emotional wellbeing, but what about it is so great? The people who love it, absolutely swear by it, but where do we even begin? How can we make it less like a chore, and more joyous? In today's episode, we break down the psychology and fundamentals of journalling, including: The history of journalling and writing therapy The physical, mental and emotional benefits How to find the right journal...
This episode explores the deeply rooted fear of ending up alone, dissecting its evolutionary and societal origins. It addresses the impact of social pain, single shaming language, and the fear of missing out, while challenging societal narratives that equate partnership with self-worth. The podcast offers advice on how to be self-partnered, embrace individuality, and live an authentic, fulfilling life regardless of relationship status.
One of the biggest questions we seem to encounter in our 20s and beyond is: what is my calling? What is my purpose, my mission, my passion? So many of us are left feeling panicked and like we are wasting time looking for the answer. Shouldn't this be obvious? Shouldn't I know by now? Actually, finding your purpose is not as simple as it looks, but in today's episode we dive into the Japanese concept of Ikigai: What are you good at? What do you love doing? What does the world need? What can you g...
This episode delves into the psychology of resentment, exploring its origins, purpose, and consequences. It challenges the notion of resentment as a purely negative emotion, highlighting its role as an emotional alarm that signals unmet needs and values. The podcast offers strategies for managing resentment, including open communication, self-distancing techniques, and setting realistic expectations, while also addressing the physical and emotional toll of suppressing this complex emotion.
Survival mode is, at its core, a stress response. When our minds and our bodies are put under extreme stress or believe we are in danger, we can enter a state where all we care about is getting through the next day. This can turn us into a person we're not and make us lose the enjoyment and love for life, but also feel overwhelmed by constant panic and anxiety. In today's episode, we discuss how to break free of survival mode, the difference between our learning brain and our survival brain, why...
We all want long lasting, passionate, meaningful love and in our 20s it can hard to figure out exactly how to find that. With so many 'rules' around what to do, pacing, when to become exclusive, when to say 'I love you', when to move in together, it seems the secret is to go slow and build emotional intimacy. In other words, embrace the power of the slow burn, the 'slowmance' and low pressure beginnings. In this episode we are joined by Hinge's Love & Connection Expert, Moe Ari Brown as they...
Is the secret to a happier, less stressful, more connected life actually play? A lot of the research is telling us so! As we get older sometimes we lose a bit of our joy, awe and wonder, and the time we have for our friendships becomes more restricted by work, obligations, distance, commitment and seriousness. In today's episode, let's talk about why the solution to that may be to bring back adult playdates, including: The psychology behind why play is important The loneliness epidemic Why our s...
This episode delves into the psychology of self-doubt, exploring its origins in childhood experiences and relationships, and its manifestation in self-sabotage and indecisiveness. It discusses the impact of bullying, perfectionism, and toxic relationships on self-esteem, and offers strategies for silencing negative beliefs. The episode encourages listeners to question their doubts, embrace failure, and create an empowering alter ego to overcome limitations.
Today on the podcast we are talking about toxic positivity and the problem with always being positive and putting a fluffy, warm, positive spin on things. Often our unrealistic optimism comes from a good place and our desire to be happy all the time but any person knows that isn't always possible. We break down: The reason we gravitate towards toxic positivity What toxic positivity looks like The impact of wellness and self help content The consequences for our mental health The consequences for...
We all know what red flags are, they tend to be universal at any age, but there are some redflags that are specific to our 20s, certain features of a relationship during this decade to look out for even if they don't look concerning at first. On today's episode we talk about the five biggest red flags for relationships in our 20s, including: Relationships that stop you from having experiences Relationships that cause emotional chaos Relationships that don't celebrate or encourage you All or noth...
The period after graduation can be really difficult, filled with emotions like grief, anxiety, worry about the future, loneliness and nostalgia as we leave the structure and comfort of college and university for the big, confusing real world. In today's episode we break down the psychology of the post-graduation blues, including: What defines this experience How long does it last? The loss of friends as well as security and stability What triggers our unease How we can embrace the fear and uncer...
Very few of us ever receive an education on coping. We are taught bad things happen, we are taught pointless math equations, we are taught to grin and bear it, but not effective psychological ways of integrating stressful, painful, frustrating experiences. In this episode, we break down the psychology of coping mechanisms, including: Problem focused vs. emotion focused coping Maladaptive vs. adaptive coping Our most common defence mechanisms How to stop numbing ourselves to our experiences How t...
Conversations seem like they should be the easiest thing in the world, but we all know that sometimes that is not the case! Mental distractions, running out of things to talk about, feeling a bit off, all some of the roadblocks we face. In today's episode we break down FIVE tips to have better conversations: The 2:1 question ratio The fast friends protocol Story topping and bright siding The 5 minute urge The liking gap Listen now for more so we can all be having better conversations in whatever...
Love bombing has been a hot topic as of recent, but what does it ACTUALLY mean or entail? In today's episode we are breaking down all of the psychology of love bombing, including: The cultish origin of love bombing The three stages of love bombing Why people love bomb? The interaction between narcissism and love bombing Intensity addiction and love bombing The five questions for determining: is it love or lovebombing? We also dive into why it can be so easy to get swept up by these individuals a...
Since the beginning of this show I've been super open about my mental health so I thought I'd share an update (the bad, the good and the really good). Let's normalise talking openly and honestly about what we're going through even when its not pretty or aesthetic. Thank you for all the support! Mental Health support in your area: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy inf...
The thought of having children in our 20s feels like an incredibly adult decision, and is one a lot of us probably don't consider. We want to protect our youth and our freedom a little bit longer, or perhaps have decided we probably will never want children. But whether you want to have children or not, having a clear understanding of your future intentions or choices, your reproductive health, the kind of person who might make a good partner, and therefore parent, is important. More information...
Struggling with our self worth can often impact how deserving we feel of love. This sense that we may be 'unloveable' causes us to miss out on healthy, fulfilling relationships, self sabotage and stay with people who don't deserve us. In today's episode, we discuss: The origins of why we feel unworthy of love Childhood wounds Early romantic scripts and teen romance Repeated rejection and shame The consequences of feeling unloveable Repetition of toxic relationships How to restore or rediscover y...
All of us have insecurities when it comes to our appearance, but what happens when these become obsessive and a point of fixation? In today's episode we break down the psychology and pathology of body dysmorphia, including: The origins in childhood experiences Family history and influence The differences in expression between men and women The relationship between body dysmorphia and cosmetic surgery The influence of toxic gym, diet culture and 'bigorexia' How false beliefs influence behaviour D...
This episode explores five evidence-based strategies to enhance happiness. It covers the importance of nurturing platonic relationships, spending money on others and experiences, engaging in meaningful projects, connecting with nature, and embracing sadness. The episode challenges common misconceptions about happiness and provides actionable tips for improving well-being.
Going 'no contact' after a breakup or relationship breakdown is promoted as one of the best ways to move on from an ex. But why is that the case, and what is the psychology? Is it always that easy? In today's episode we break down the psychology of going 'no contact': why it works, the science, when it's necessary and how to stay committed, even when it feels impossible. Listen now! Our notebooks are OUT NOW: https://the-psychology-of-your-20s.myshopify.com/ Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg...
You're not imagining it! The job market is getting harder, especially for 20-somethings who are entering the job market for the first time and trying to find their path. In today's episode we break down the psychological toll that the job hunt takes on us, the constant rejections, unrewarded effort, resentment and frustration. We also discuss why our generation has it tougher and it's not just a you problem but also how to improve your odds and keep your head up! All that and more, listen now :)...
Our mother wounds represent the unprocessed trauma and insecurities we pick up from the dynamic we each have with the women who raise us and shape us. In today's episode we break down the psychology of our mother wounds including their origin, their impact and their manifestation, from our body confidence to our competition with other women, our ability to trust and connect, our fear of disapproval and chronic people pleasing. We also explore ways to heal this wound, both in collaboration with o...
We often think the secret to not being passive in our lives is to fill up our days, set countless goals, always be striving for progress and productivity. What if we told you the secret was slowing down? In today's episode I am joined by Caroline and Ann Catherine from Girls with Goals as we discuss: What it beens to be passive vs. active vs. intentional How to create momentum Why big, long term goals aren't the secret to success How to develop a healthier relationship with yourself and your spa...
In today's episode we're going old school, back to a good old fashioned chatty sit down episode and life update. I have been recovering from a pretty terrible bout of tonsilitis and it's made me realise...I have a toxic relationship with productivity. Even when I'm sick I can't slow down, and I don't think I'm alone. We also discuss how I'm finding living alone, a little relationship update and how it feels to have finished my book! All that and more, listen now! Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemm...
How can you tell if you're codependent or just really close to someone? If you are enmeshed or just reliant on their support? Feeling happy and stable in a loving relationship, or losing your independence? There are a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings when it come to codependent relationships, especially in our 20s and in today's episode we break down all you need to know and more, including: The roots of codependency in childhood and attachment theory Signs of codependency Codependenc...
So many of us are struggling to stay focused and concentrate in an environment of constant distraction and temptation and it's causing a lot of us to feel unproductive and undisciplined. In today's episode we break down why our attention spans seem to be rapidly declining, we discuss: The Gold Fish myth The average attention span from 2004-2017 The impact of short form content The impact of COVID lockdowns Overstimulation and rising ADHD diagnoses Attentional cycles and our circadian rhythm Tips...
