The Ali Kolbert Show

Queer Comedian Ali Kolbert explores dating, relationships, and mental health on her complaint-riddled journey towards adulthood. She says the things people are too afraid to, and asks the questions we are all wondering, like: “who pays on a same sex date?” “what do your porn preferences mean about your sexuality?” and “why are people so obsessed with babies anyway?!"

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Episodes

Coming Out to Conservatives

Having a crush on your teacher, Kiera Knightley in Pirates of the Caribbean, having crushes on your teammates, the “ick” towards men, how to be gay at a state school, and more. Produced by Dear Media.

Jun 28, 2022•41 min

Gay Land with Zach Noe Towers

Zach is celebrated as the first gay man to be on The Ali Kolbert Show. Ali talks about how she has a male brain and the thoughts she has while she cums. Ali is pansexual and she hates it. Zack talks about how he has never had sex with a woman. Why open relationships are more accepted in “Gay Land” according to Dan Savage and my brain. Ali believes she is meant to spread her seed and hopes her dad cheats on her mom. Zach thinks about ey-fucking older men as a child. A “soft” coming out. My attach...

Jun 21, 2022•43 min

EnGAYged with Julien Pell

Julien and Ali tell the story of their engagement. Julien wonders if couples who have engagement photo shoots are too square to ever consider being open. Julien and Ali can’t imagine actually having a wedding and discuss the things they like and don’t like from wedding culture. Ali talks about getting a ring and proposing in Costa Rica. Julien and Ali muse about the type of wedding they will have and who should be invited. Produced by Dear Media....

Jun 14, 2022•33 min

What Is Omnisexuality?

Why I hate PRIDE, how to celebrate Dyke day, a lesbian proposal gone awry at an elephant sanctuary, an intimate lesbian wedding, why Liz won’t carry her wife’s egg, gender norms in marriage, how to choose a sperm donor, why I like being masculine in my dynamic with women. Ali discusses the type of open relationship she proposed with Julien. Plus! Listener questions. Produced by Dear Media.

Jun 07, 2022•47 min

Jewish Lebsians with Robby Hoffman

Ali and Robby share in identifying as “the boy one” in lesbain relationships. Robby talks about paying for rich girls she dates and how dykes want to lock it down immediately when they are dating. Robby shares how she grew up Hasidic and was “outed.” Robby talks about being repressed at summer camp, her first hook up with a girl, and being in a secret lesbian relationship. Plus, our lesbian bat mitzvahs. Jennifer Aniston is a Dyke-con. Produced by Dear Media....

May 31, 2022•42 min

Tales from a High School Lesbian

Ali takes on a wild telling of her days as a neurotic, baby gay. Ali introdcues two new seegments - lesbian recommendations on Hummus Hour and her shit list - Shitler’s List! Ali discusses her hatred of bumper cars, shares stories from her high school graduation, and her terrible, lesbian prom. Ali talks about asking guys to school dances in her straight days. Julien and Ali talk about a guy they met who they both liked. Ali shares a dramatic listener story. Produced by Dear Media....

May 24, 2022•40 min

Alexis Haines: Divorce, Dropping Labels, & Finding Purpose

Alexis Haines denies ever saying she was a lesbian. Ali forces her to choose a label and then relents. Alexis shares her separation from her husband Evan and reflects on what worked and didn’t work in their open relationship. She discusses her partner now (dating a man!) (curveball) and reflects on her break up with her last girlfriend. She shares her and Evan’s recent fight about Mother’s Day. Produced by Dear Media.

May 17, 2022•49 min

Ashley Gavin’s Scissoring Tutorial

Ashley and Ali discuss scissoring. Ashley insists that scissoring is a thing and explains how to do it. Ashley says she would want to carry a baby and explains how it is masculine to do so. The two discuss freezing your eggs, sleeping with fans, and Ashley’s bachelor energy. Ashley and Ali are despondent about Roe v. Wade and talk about different cultures raising babies. Ashley recalls when a girl tried to bang her with a banana. Produced by Dear Media....

May 10, 2022•45 min

Turning Straight Girls with Liza Treyger

Ali and Liza talk starting out in stand-up, looking for approval in the industry, how 2016 changed comedy, and Liza names names. Ali shares how she and Julien met and Liza and Ali talk about turning straight girls. Liza talks about how she was “turned” and why she thinks being straight is degrading (lol). Ali shares how she has hooked up with men in between relationships. Liza shares her most recent bad date. The two talk men vs. women on dating apps. Produced by Dear Media....

May 03, 2022•47 min

SFK Knows She Triggers You

Serena Kerriagn shares the birth of her name “Serena Fucking Kerrigan,” and explains the character that is SFK. Ali shares how SFK triggers her and Serena gets it. Serena shares her Do It For The Plot tour, we talk about radical responsibility, what it means to be the main character of your own story, and what it means to “play all in.” Produced by Dear Media.

Apr 26, 2022•50 min

How To Be Content with Jamie Varon

Jamie and I discuss her new book, Radically Content. We talk about deprogramming from the hustle, antidepressants, treating the cause and not the symptom, “Be Do Have,” how social media makes you feel, what it means to be present, how women are taught to feel shame about “winning,” the JLaw vs. Anne Hathaway debate, being addicted to negative thoughts, and how you interpret your life is how you experience your life! Produced by Dear Media.

Apr 19, 2022•44 min

We All Want To Get Fingered During Massages with Remy Kassimir

Remy had never had an orgasm until she started a sex podcast while living with her grandmother. Ali and Remy talk masturbating, the shame around not being able to achieve an orgasm, “plateauing” in sex, tantric massages, female masturbation classes, how Remy finally had her first orgasm, squirting, my first time orgasming, using an electric toothbrush as a sex toy, coming out as bisexual, exploring your sexuality while in a relationship, and more! Produced by Dear Media....

Apr 12, 2022•50 min

Is Scissoring Really A Thing? With Daryn Carp

Daryn and Ali discuss Daryn’s coming out story and debate whether or not scissoring is actually a thing. Ali and Daryn talk Daryn's first experience with a woman, how to come out to yourself, falling in lust with women at an early age, kissing girls in kindergarten, making out with girls for frat guys, the casualties of self exploration, making the first move, being monogam-ish, and why older women are so hot. Produced by Dear Media.

Apr 05, 2022•53 min

Stalking Your Ex, Going to Sleep Angry, and "Narcissists" with Therapist Amanda White

Therapist Amanda White joins the pod to discuss her book Not Drinking Tonight , as well as narcissism, codependency, enmeshment, why you should reconsider not going to sleep angry, not waiting for a rock bottom to make a change, cognitive dissonance with the things we over-use, what are our brains do when we instagram stalk our exes and celebrities, tips for self care, and why defensive is the death of relationships! Produced by Dear Media....

Mar 29, 2022•59 min

Ashley Hesseltine: Short Kings, Threesomes, and Slow Texters

Ashley Hesseltine from Girls Gotta Eat joins the pod! Ali and Ashley talk about face filters, hinge’s new voice feature, bisexuality, short kings, not having kids, dating a slow texter, and how to bring up threesomes in your relationship. Produced by Dear Media.

Mar 22, 2022•55 min

Pete Davidson, Strap Ons, and Red Flags with Julien Pell

Ali and Julien explore Ali’s hatred turned obsession with Pete Davidson, Skete texting Kanye and threatening to not be nice anymore, a listener email about dating someone who just had a mental breakdown, Julien refuses to fight with Ali, Ali as a baby gay, buying a strap on in Times Square, Ali's grandmother sends a text! Produced by Dear Media.

Mar 15, 2022•39 min

Dating Apps & Playing The Game with Jared Freid

Jared Freid joins Ali on the podcast and they discuss: The Tinder Swindler, hanging out in Florida, dating multiple people at once, how much of “the game" do you play when dating, dating apps vs. dating in person, instead of “the talk” it’s “the reveal,” how to get set up, hooking up with people at comedy shows, how much time to spend with your partner when you live together, sleeping in separate beds, dating someone who doesn’t like the same food as you, "Friend Lucks,” timelines for having chi...

Mar 08, 2022•1 hr

Queer Sex Therapy

Ali rants on Love is Blind and then has on guest, Queer Sex Therapist, Casey Tanner, to discuss the return of “bucking" aka "gender jelly,” my coming out story, how you come out more than once!, why lesbians are so over the top, what is "lesbian bed death," what is the difference between asexual and low labido, the mystery of the female orgasm, queer family planning, grieving the fantasy of a biological child, the dangers (?!) of baby talk, and more. Produced by Dear Media....

Mar 01, 2022•1 hr

Everything You’ve Ever Wanted to Know About Porn with Candice Horbacz "Eva Lovia”

Eva’s first porn scene with a woman, first scene with a man, what it is like doing porn while being married, how her mom found out she does porn, what it’s like telling your friends you do porn, her favorite scene she ever did, does she ever watch her own scenes, what she thinks about the unrealistic expectations of porn, do you ever develop feelings for the person you’re working with, how she found her porn name, and how she will tell her son about her job. Produced by Dear Media....

Feb 22, 2022•1 hr 2 min

Bachelorette Katie Thurston: Fantasy Suites, Amazon Cock Rings, and Hooking Up With Girls

What surprised Katie about being a contestant on the bachelor, making romantic connections on reality TV, Katie sent her now boyfriend home on week 2, what it was like reconnecting with him, her and Blake breaking up, jealousy on the bachelorette, the truth about hometown visits and fantasy suites, dealing with fame, Katie’s thoughts on Greg and Blake hanging out together, watching her season back, men having a hard time saying I love you, Katie doing stand up, her sexy TikTok, ordering a cock r...

Feb 15, 2022•1 hr 4 min

Dating Men vs. Women with Julien Pell

Ali and Julien discuss dating men vs. women and discuss: "trading up" with men, can you turn a booty call into a relationship, what is it like dating masculine women, the shaving before a date philosophy, hooking up with bouncers, does she want to be your friend or your girlfriend?, people who “get it,” our worst dates ever, moving from the app to text, dating moves, are hikes an ok a first date, and listener dates! Produced by Dear Media.

Feb 08, 2022•59 min

F*ck, Marry, Kill: Kim, Khloe, & Kourtney with Amanda Hirsch

Pop Culture Expert Amanda Hirsch joins the show to discuss Kardashian conspiracies, our alleged feud, EmRata throwing shade to Amanda on Howard Stern, Kim Kardashian following Amanda on IG, what word do you use for your p*ssy, Kim meeting with Hilary Clinton, Disney adults, getting blocked by Food God, John Mulaney and Olivia Munn, tagging Anna Marie Tendler in my story, and the Chopra/Jonas baby. Produced by Dear Media.

Feb 01, 2022•1 hr

Euphoria, Yellowjackets, and Airplane Middle Seats with Madi Murphy

Madi Murphy from the hit podcast The Bad Broadcast and I discuss WTF is going on with Slytherin house in Harry Potter, hilarious takes on Yellowjackets & Euphoria, Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian, rewatching old movies, diagnosing yourself on Tik Tok, are you an aisle or middle seat person on airplanes, Ali’s hilarious airplane story, dealing with negative feedback, when your friends aren’t chill about you cancelling, moms on instagram, and a blue check verified baby. Produced by Dear Media...

Jan 25, 2022•52 min

Who pays on same-sex dates? with Megan Mitchell

Lesbian Tik Tok Star and News Anchor Megan Mitchell joins the pod! We discuss how she matched with my ex on a dating app, Megan’s recent break up, first gay LOVE, Megan’s coming out story, figuring out if I want children, how I see myself as Brad Pitt, who pays on lesbian dates, what it means to be masculine or feminine in a same sex relationship, and of course…her famed undercut. Produced by Dear Media.

Jan 18, 2022•49 min

Dating Fact or Fiction with Lindsey Metselaar

Ali and Lindsey talk about calling friends terms of endearment, Lindsey’s recent engagement, how opposites attract...and then attack, DINK life (double income no kids),how Ali wants to be a dad not a mom, and then fact or fiction with dating myths like whether or not men should pay, how important it is to be single and grow, when to follow someone on instagram, when to have sex while dating, and more! Produced by Dear Media.

Jan 11, 2022•47 min

Masturbation is a journey, why it’s hard to leave good people, and when you see someone and the world stops with Rayna Greenberg

Happy New Year! Ali and Rayna talk about Rayna’s recent break up, Rayna’s podcast Girls Gotta Eat selling out The Beacon Theater, Rayna liking lesbian porn, Ali’s first time watching gay porn, Ali’s first and only boyfriend, seeing someone and having the world STOP, why it’s hard to leave someone who is a good person, what happens when you announce your relationship on social media, the unspoken pain of friendship break ups, answer listener questions, and what they are both committed to in 2022....

Jan 04, 2022•1 hr 3 min

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