When Christians are faced with the word “addiction,” there can be a significant reaction against something we don’t see clearly in Scripture. The word “addiction” doesn’t naturally seem to fit into our theological framework. Today, we’re joined by author and speaker, Ben Bennett, to give us a new framework for reconciling addiction and theology. We explore how Scripture speaks directly to addiction, how to integrate psychology and theology, and how the recovery and healing journey can enhance ou...
Apr 30, 2024•1 hr 17 min•Ep. 356
The term “mental health” can be fuzzy. Are we talking about anxiety? Depression? Something more? All of the above? Ben Bennett joins us today to talk about the connection between viewing pornography and mental health issues. Ben speaks of porn’s role in his personal battle with depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideations and how recovery impacts our mental health, our faith in Jesus, and our ability to follow Him. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) FASTER Scale Seven Pillars of Freedom Unrav...
Apr 23, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 355
We all know communication is important. But what does healthy communication look like for a couple on the recovery and healing journey? Shari Chinchen, a Pure Desire Clinician, joins us today to discuss what makes communication healthy or unhealthy. We also discuss how to keep healthy communication a priority AND how to train our kids for healthy communication in their relationships. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) The Four Horsemen (Blog by Gottman Institute) Pure Desire Counseling FASTE...
Apr 16, 2024•59 min•Ep. 354
Many men who’ve been through the Pure Desire recovery process have asked, “What’s after Seven Pillars of Freedom ?” Well, today’s episode is all about answering this question. Clinician and speaker, Robert Vander Meer, joins us to talk about our new resource, The Compassionate Warrior (to which Robert contributed). We talk through what this resource is, how it helps men see their life and recovery through the lens of “story,” and how it helps create a lasting legacy of health. RESOURCES Full Epi...
Apr 09, 2024•47 min•Ep. 353
Today, we get to hear from Robert Nelson and Annie Burt (staff members at Faith Chapel in Billings, Montana). Robert and Annie talk us through their journey of implementing Pure Desire groups and resources at Faith Chapel. We talk through initial hurdles, challenges they’ve faced, the fruit they’re seeing from their efforts, and lots in between. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Betrayal & Beyond Unraveled Sexual Integrity 101 Conquer Series (Soul Refiner) Seven Pillars of Freedom Group...
Apr 02, 2024•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 352
Today’s episode is one of our favorites! We have another Frequently Asked Questions episode where you, the listener, has sent in topical questions for us to discuss. We are joined by Traci Wright, one of our beloved clinicians, to talk about idolizing recovery, anniversaries of trauma, disclosure in dating and engagement, and more. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Pure Desire Online Groups Connected Pure Desire Counseling FREE 15 Minute Counseling Consultation Seven Pillars Of Freedom (Men...
Mar 26, 2024•57 min•Ep. 351
Though true healing and freedom from sexual addiction and brokenness is possible, it doesn’t mean the journey will be easy. The world we live in is still hyper-sexualized and full of things that can pull us away from health. On today’s episode, we talk about slippery slopes—areas or aspects of our lives that can be problematic in our sexual health. And there may be some that surprise you! We talk about what can be a slippery slope, how to be mindful of them, and what to do to ensure we don’t sli...
Mar 19, 2024•1 hr•Ep. 350
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is often associated with major trauma—wartime experiences, rape, and abuse. Studies increasingly show that PTSD is also experienced by betrayed partners. Rather than ignore or minimize it, let’s do something about it. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Betrayal & Beyond Dr. Steffens Research Stress Index The Body Keeps The Score Pure Desire Groups GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn...
Mar 12, 2024•57 min•Ep. 349
For those who regularly listen to the show, we have a return guest. This guy has shared his story about the journey from porn star to a pastor. Today, we’re excited to have Joshua Broome back on the show to talk about his new book, 7 Lies That Will Ruin Your Life . We talk through all seven lies, identifying how they impact sexual brokenness and disrupt our healing. We also discuss some initial steps we can take to combat these lies and reclaim God’s truth in our lives. RESOURCES Full Episode Vi...
Mar 05, 2024•52 min•Ep. 348
We know sex trafficking exists in our world and is a growing problem. But it’s not something that’s talked about in many faith communities. On today’s episode, we’re going to talk about it! We’re thrilled to have Matt McCaulley and Kevin Whisman on the show: two guys who have spent the last few years writing, directing, and producing a full-length feature film called unDEFILED . We’ll talk about Pure Desire’s involvement in creating a follow-up study to the film and how sex trafficking is connec...
Feb 27, 2024•36 min•Ep. 347
“Just wait until I get married, then it will all get better.” These words have either been said or thought by many of us in the church. We assume being married and having sex with our spouse will rid us of our sexual brokenness or compulsive behaviors. Unfortunately, this is a myth. On today’s episode, our Clinical Director, Tyler Chinchen, joins us to talk through why this myth exists, the damage it creates, and how to work against it. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Seven Pillars of Fre...
Feb 20, 2024•46 min•Ep. 346
When addiction, brokenness, and betrayal enter a marriage, it can significantly impact a couple’s sexual relationship. Unfortunately, sexual brokenness and betrayal are not the only things that can hijack a couple’s sex life. On today’s episode, we’re joined by Brent and Nicole Breining, who are part of the Pure Desire family. Brent, a clinician for Pure Desire, and his wife, Nicole, share how some major life events limited their sexual relationship. They talk through how to stay committed and c...
Feb 13, 2024•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 345
For many of us who are on the recovery and healing journey, understanding the full scope of intimacy can be confusing. If you’re in this camp, you won’t want to miss this episode! We are excited to have Phil and Priscilla Fretwell on the show today! They are co-founders of Savage Marriage Ministries and authors of Savage Marriage: Triumph Over Betrayal and Sexual Addiction —their story of addiction, betrayal, and freedom that they use to help others find healing. They join us to talk through the...
Feb 06, 2024•51 min•Ep. 344
Relapse is returning to the place we promised God, ourselves, or others we wouldn’t go back to. So preventing relapse is a worthy goal. But can relapse be prevented proactively and practically? The answer: yes. On today’s episode, Mike Maxwell leverages his many years in recovery and leading Pure Desire groups to help us learn tools and techniques for preventing relapse. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) The Compassionate Warrior Three Circles (Tool) FASTER Scale (Tool) GET STARTED Free eBo...
Jan 30, 2024•50 min•Ep. 343
It’s difficult to understate the importance of community in recovery. But honesty in community isn’t easy. It requires intention and a willingness to be fully known. Dishonesty leads to shame and isolation. Honesty leads to freedom. Brent Breining, a Pure Desire Clinician, joins us today to discuss how to break secrecy, how to be honest in daily life, and why this actually matters. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Recovery Resource For Women Recovery Resource For Men Resource for Betrayed ...
Jan 23, 2024•52 min•Ep. 342
Unprocessed trauma has a way of making itself known. Triggers reveal areas in our life where something isn’t quite right. If we’re not willing to address these areas, they can become a major obstacle in our relationships, workplace advancement, and breaking free from addiction. Heather Kolb is on the podcast today to talk about how the brain processes trauma and how we heal from trauma. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Altogether You (Book) GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding B...
Jan 16, 2024•55 min•Ep. 341
Shame is often used as a motivator. But shame only motivates us to do one thing: hide. Shame causes us to hide because we start to believe the lie that our mistakes and missteps are proof that we are disqualified to receive love and acceptance. But Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection are evidence of the immense worth and value of humans. Rodney Wright joins us today to talk about why shame perpetuates the cycle of addiction and how we can break free from its grip. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (...
Jan 09, 2024•51 min•Ep. 340
Solitude is an intentional time alone for renewal and centering yourself on God. Isolation is a pattern of disengaging from or intentionally not engaging in relationship with others. In this episode, we identify what isolation is, how it’s different from solitude, and why isolation is like gasoline on the addictive fire. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Recovery Resource For Women Recovery Resource For Men Three Circles GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free e...
Jan 02, 2024•42 min•Ep. 339
When we get toward the end of the year, setting new goals perpetually comes up. Why is this? And how can we create goals we’ll actually stick to? Our clinical director, Tyler Chinchen, joins us on today’s episode to talk about yearly goals, how to set them, how to maintain them, and why they matter on the recovery and healing journey. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) The Compassionate Warrior Unraveled Kit (Resource for women who struggle) Find An Online Group Start Counseling GET STARTED ...
Dec 26, 2023•42 min•Ep. 338
Self-care isn’t selfish. Yet, establishing rhythms of self-care can impact the people around us both positively and negatively. If we want to practice proactive self-care, it will require an intentional, thought-out plan that is communicated to our loved ones. Kelly Johnston, our Online Women's Groups Coordinator, is on the podcast today discussing how to maintain self-care, how to find things that qualify as self-care, and why all of this is especially important during the holiday season. RESOU...
Dec 19, 2023•54 min•Ep. 337
What is it about the holiday season that makes conflict more likely? It seems inevitable. So how can we engage in conflict in a healthy way? In today’s episode, Ashley Jameson helps unpack strategies for healthy conflict (even if you’re conflict-avoidant), how to help our loved ones engage in healthy conflict, and why this matters to our recovery. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Necessary Endings (Dr. Henry Cloud’s Book) Unraveled (Women's Recovery Resource) GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys...
Dec 12, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 336
The holidays are packed with clashing expectations in relationships. Assertiveness is one of the tools we can use to navigate these challenging situations. Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive—it simply means clearly communicating your needs to others. In this episode, Heather Kolb joins us to discuss how to be assertive, the benefits of being assertive about your needs, and how to navigate the moments when someone might respond negatively. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Seven P...
Dec 05, 2023•46 min•Ep. 335
This week’s episode wraps up our “oldy but goody” episodes. Today, we revisit our conversation with Heather Kolb on a healthy sex life. Everyone wants a healthy sex life. Period. But what does it actually mean to have one? How often should married couples have sex? What qualifies as good sex? How do you improve the health of your sex life? We talk about ALL of this on today’s episode. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBoo...
Nov 28, 2023•45 min•Ep. 334
We’re in week two of our three-week “oldy but goody” series of episodes. We revisit our conversation with Ashley Jameson on making a better Commitment to Change. The Commitment to Change (CTC) is a weekly tool that Pure Desire groups use on the road to recovery. But how do we unlock the vast potential of this tool? What makes a CTC effective? How can it help us develop holistic health? Listen in to find out! RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding B...
Nov 21, 2023•28 min•Ep. 333
This episode starts three weeks of “oldy but goody” episodes from the podcast. This week, we revisit our conversation with our founder, Dr. Ted Roberts on father wounds . We discuss what a father wound is, how it compares to a mother wound , and how to recognize if you have one. We also talk through where in Scripture we see the father wound , how we address it, and how not to pass it on to our kids. Note: In some cases, it’s necessary to process trauma and wounds with the help of a clinician. S...
Nov 14, 2023•51 min•Ep. 332
When discovery happens in a marriage, a bomb goes off. Life is shattered into a million pieces and you question, “Is redemption even possible?” Author of the new book, Happily Even After , Dannah Gresh, joins us on the podcast today. She answers that question emphatically, “YES!” Redemption is not only possible, but probable when God is central in a marriage AND both partners are getting the proper help they need. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Happily Even After (Book) Dannah’s Books Da...
Nov 07, 2023•48 min•Ep. 331
Churches new to Pure Desire and interested in launching groups often face hurdles and feel intimidated. Yet, there are hundreds of churches helping men and women find hope and healing through Pure Desire groups. In this episode, Eastview Church leadership shares the challenges they still face, how many groups they’re currently running (Note: it’s lower than you’d expect for a large church), and why they’ve seen the success they’ve seen. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Brain, Heart, World ...
Oct 31, 2023•59 min•Ep. 330
We teach our kids how to clean their teeth and eat food. Yet when it comes to teaching healthy sexuality, we often feel lost. Author Kristen Jenson has worked to help parents teach their kids about the dangers of pornography, how to navigate these tough conversations as they come up, and how kids can “forget” things they’ve seen. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Good Pictures Bad Pictures (book) Brain Defense: Digital Safety (course) Kristen’s Website Kristen’s Books How To Talk To Your Ki...
Oct 24, 2023•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 329
Some people have a difficult time reconciling therapy with their faith. They see it as personal weakness at best and distance from God at worst. But Christians who become healthy through counseling are a gift to the world! Rodney Wright is on the podcast today sharing about how he found a counselor, how the experience impacted his faith and relationships, and gives practical advice for anyone considering entering into therapy. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Pure Desire Counseling Pure De...
Oct 17, 2023•55 min•Ep. 328
Milestones are really important to those recovering from addiction or healing from betrayal trauma. But Milestones aren’t always helpful or beneficial. In this episode, Ashley Jameson joins us to discuss how to identify and measure milestones, which milestones might be particularly dangerous, and which milestones fly under the radar but should really be celebrated. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Find A Pure Desire Group Pure Desire Online Groups FASTER Scale FANOS Check-in Bicycle Video ...
Oct 10, 2023•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 327
