Everyone has a story that is uniquely theirs. When we hear someone’s story we begin to understand how pain and trauma entered their life. We can connect the dots in their story from pain to healing and realize–we’re not alone. If they can heal, so can I. John Begeman joins us today to discuss a three category approach to sharing our story, when and how to share, and why it even matters. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Unwanted (Jay Stringer’s Book) Pure Desire Online Groups Pure Desire Co...
Oct 03, 2023•56 min•Ep. 326
Relapse can happen anytime. Whether you’re in year two or 25 of recovery. In The Compassionate Warrior , this is attributed to 5 Brain Bugs. Rich Moore joins us today to discuss what these 5 Brain Bugs are, how to identify them, and what it looks like to address them. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) FASTER Scale 1 Peter 5:8 The Compassionate Warrior Seven Pillars of Freedom (Prerequisite to The Compassionate Warrior) Pure Desire Online Groups The Soul of Shame w/ Curt Thompson (Episode 16...
Sep 26, 2023•47 min•Ep. 325
When your spouse doesn’t want to have sex, you likely feel alone and lost. When you’re the one who is uninterested in sex, you may not even understand why. However, in a healthy marriage where addiction and betrayal aren’t present, sex is a beautiful gift. This episode with Heather Kolb gets into the challenging questions about how, when, and why people may be living in a sexless marriage and what they can do about it. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) FASTER Scale FANOS Check-in Emotion Wh...
Sep 19, 2023•59 min•Ep. 324
It’s common for people to think they can recover from their addiction or stop their behaviors on their own. Unfortunately, that just isn’t how recovery works. Community is a necessity for lasting healing and freedom. Harry Flanagan joins us today to debunk this myth and provide a path for those struggling with this harmful belief. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Pure Desire Summit Online Groups Pure Desire Counseling GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBo...
Sep 12, 2023•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 323
In this episode, we talked about the theme of the Pure Desire Summit 2023, From The Heart. Why we chose this theme, its importance to the recovery journey, why people should attend, and more. We hope you’re planning to join us online or in-person for our biggest event of the year! RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Pure Desire Summit GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Jo...
Sep 05, 2023•43 min•Ep. 322
If you ask 1000 people what it means to be masculine, you’ll likely get 1000 different answers. Masculinity is often associated with strength, anger, and dominance. But that’s not at all how Jesus modeled masculinity. Nancy Pearcey is back with us to discuss differences between toxic masculinity and biblical masculinity and compare James Bond with Jesus. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Nancy’s Website The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes (Nancy’s Book) Love ...
Aug 29, 2023•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 321
Emotional awareness and emotional intelligence go hand-in-hand. But emotional intelligence can feel elusive. In today’s episode, Heather Kolb helps us understand how to grow in emotional intelligence and its importance in the recovery process. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Seven Pillars Of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource) Betrayal & Beyond (Women's Betrayal Resource) Unraveled (Women's Recovery Resource) Pure Desire Online Groups FASTER Scale (Free Tool) GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 K...
Aug 22, 2023•54 min•Ep. 320
Many parents have a genuine desire to teach their kids how to navigate their sexuality in a way that is more helpful than they were taught. But most parents don’t even know where or how to begin talking with their kids about sex. This episode with Rodney and Traci Wright is packed with practical examples and advice, resources to protect kids and grow personally, and the encouragement parents have been looking for. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex Dr. Cl...
Aug 15, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 319
Josh was no stranger to the limelight as a worship leader and musician. But being caught with pornography was a type of exposure that wasn't invited. Yet it was the beginning of a journey toward true healing and freedom that ultimately impacted his entire family. Josh and Shawna Putnam share their story of healing, what they learned along the way, and the new ministry that it is fueling for both of them. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Josh’s Music (Spotify) Seven Pillars Of Freedom (Men'...
Aug 08, 2023•58 min•Ep. 318
The concept of reparenting your inner child strikes people in different ways. Some are skeptical and others are raving fans of the approach. On today’s podcast, we’re joined by Dr. Eddie Capparucci to discuss his work in this area. We talk about the importance of reparenting your inner child, the relationship of faith and psychology in this area, and more. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Why Men Struggle To Love (Eddie’s Book) Going Deeper Eddie’s website Pure Desire Online Groups Seven P...
Aug 01, 2023•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 317
Our stories have incredible power. But why is that? What is it about sharing our stories that is so impactful? On today’s episode, we are joined by the founder of Stories Unveiled, Ashley Sears. Ashley helps us understand why stories are so powerful, how to find the courage to share them, and the healing stories carry for us all. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Stories Unveiled Conference (Ashley's Conference) Stories Unveiled Facebook Page Stories Unveiled Instagram Page Stories Of Heali...
Jul 25, 2023•54 min•Ep. 316
Relationships are at the center of each part of our lives. And few things impact our relationships like unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. In this episode, best-selling author, speaker, and professor, Dr. Les Parrott joins us with practical tools to create fulfillment in our relationships. We talk about trends in dating and marriage relationships, when and how to share our history with our partner, and how to improve communication around sex and everything else. RESOURCES Full Episode...
Jul 18, 2023•38 min•Ep. 315
Churches and volunteers passionate about Pure Desire Groups face a number of challenges when starting out. Today, Rodney Wright joins us to share best practices from his experience launching and maintaining a thriving Pure Desire Groups ministry. From preaching tips to managing group members from other churches to navigating a leadership team that isn’t open to a “recovery ministry,” this episode has it all. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Betrayal & Beyond (Women's Betrayal Resource)...
Jul 11, 2023•51 min•Ep. 314
As new research emerges and becomes mainstream, it’s important that our approach remains current. This is the heart behind the recent update to our resource for women, Betrayal & Beyond . In this episode, Heather Kolb and Ashley Jameson share the “why” behind the update, they highlight the major changes (and what stayed the same), and who should go through this updated resource. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Betrayal & Beyond Kit—including NEW video companion (Women's Betrayal R...
Jul 04, 2023•53 min•Ep. 313
Pornography undermines every ministry in a local church. Sam Black, author of The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography And How To Fix It (GIVEAWAY IN SHOW NOTES), joins us to take an honest look at the harmful effects of ignoring unwanted sexual behavior in the church. This episode is packed with practical ways that churches can begin to meet the real need that exists within their congregations. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) FREE COPY of The Healing Church (First 50...
Jun 27, 2023•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 312
Unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma have a profound impact on the brain. But the brain is amazing and can be rewired! Heather Kolb joins us for this episode with tips and tools for rewiring our brain sexually. We discuss why rewiring our brain after sexual addiction is uniquely challenging, how long we should expect this process to take, and who else should be involved. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Sexual Integrity 101 Groups Seven Pillars of Freedom (Resource For Struggling M...
Jun 20, 2023•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 311
Launching Pure Desire groups at your church can feel intimidating at first. In this episode, we start a new series: Stories From The Church . Our first episode in this new series, we spoke with the team responsible for successfully implementing groups at Petra Church in Pennsylvania. We learned how they overcame some of the most common hurdles churches face, how they train and recruit leaders, and reflect on some of the success they’ve enjoyed over the years. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTub...
Jun 13, 2023•59 min•Ep. 310
Confidentiality is critically important in the group setting. So is protecting victims and vulnerable populations through mandatory reporting. On today’s episode, we talk with Rich Moore about how to strike a balance between confidentiality and mandated reporting, how to proactively protect the group, and the process of reporting if and when necessary. Finally, we explored the positive outcomes that mandated reporting can have on the people involved. SHOW NOTES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Group...
Jun 06, 2023•54 min•Ep. 309
The path from an award-winning porn star to a pastor just doesn’t make sense. But that’s the path God paved for our guest today, Joshua Broome (cofounder of Share the King ). We talk to Joshua about how he got into performing porn, how God rescued him, and God is using him as a speaker, pastor, influencer, and podcast host to help people follow Jesus and live with sexual integrity. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Joshua’s Website Joshua’s TikTok Joshua’s Twitter Joshua’s Instagram Share T...
May 30, 2023•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 308
The devastation created through betrayal trauma can turn a partner’s world upside down and impact them in a way they never imagined. But what does healing from betrayal trauma look like if your spouse is in a public position—doctor, teacher, police officer, judge, or pastor? Today, we’re joined by Michelle Stumbo (married to Nick Stumbo, the Executive Director for Pure Desire). We talk through what healing from betrayal looks like when your husband is the pastor. What tools and boundaries are ne...
May 23, 2023•51 min•Ep. 307
The more we seek to understand the factors that impact sexual brokenness, the more we recognize how racism can be a contributing factor. But how does racism impact sexual brokenness? On today’s episode, we’re joined by Immanuel and Michelle Garraway, who share their experiences with racism and the role it played in their recovery and healing journey. We talk through how family of origin and harmful intergenerational messages can become a catalyst for sexual brokenness, and how owning your story ...
May 16, 2023•57 min•Ep. 306
When a couple experiences the fallout of sexual brokenness and betrayal trauma, we desire healing and restoration of their marriage. Yet, we know in some cases, separation is necessary. And sometimes, divorce happens. We’re joined by Andrea Rogers, a Certified Life Coach who is passionate about helping people reach their full potential. Andrea is also a Certified Partner Coach with APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists) , trained in using the Multidimensional Partner ...
May 09, 2023•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 305
We know not only men look at porn. In fact, it’s been suggested that the fastest-growing demographic of porn users is women. And teen girls are getting caught up in the allure of pornography. On today’s episode, we’re joined by Crystal Renaud Day, an author, speaker, and founding director of She Recovery . Crystal is a pastoral counselor and certified coach with more than 15 years experience helping women overcome porn and sexual addictions. We talk through how and why teen girls get hooked on p...
May 02, 2023•52 min•Ep. 304
In order for true restoration to take place in a marriage, both spouses must heal (especially the betrayed partner). While pursuing their recovery from addiction or unwanted sexual behavior, men often ask, "How can I help my spouse heal?" On today's episode, we are joined by the woman who literally wrote the book on this question. Carol Juergensen Sheets, AKA "Carol the Coach," is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and author who wrote Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook For Sex Addicts To Help ...
Apr 25, 2023•57 min•Ep. 303
One of the most meaningful tools we use on the recovery journey is called a personal promise (once called a prophetic promise ). This tool helps us connect a truth we see from God's word and connect it with an experience in our life. Fusing the right and left brain together is powerful. On today's episode, we discuss how we use these promises on our recovery journey, what makes them effective, how to create your own, and more. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) FASTER Scale (Tool) GET STARTE...
Apr 18, 2023•56 min•Ep. 302
Recovery is not a journey we do alone. Though the work is specific to us, we need a safe, trusted community around us to ensure the work of recovery sticks! On today’s episode, we’re joined by our Clinical Director, Tyler Chinchen, to discuss the four different roles/people we need with us on the recovery journey. We identify these four people/roles and talk through why they are so necessary in our recovery journey. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Join A Pure Desire Group Group Leader Tra...
Apr 11, 2023•43 min•Ep. 301
The Pure Desire Podcast has officially entered the 300s! To celebrate, we've got some special stuff for you. A role reversal, a massive giveaway , the future of the show, our favorites from the last 100 episodes, and ministry updates. Join us for this milestone! 300 down. At least another 300 to go! RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Enter $300 Giveaway GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counse...
Apr 04, 2023•49 min•Ep. 300
Oftentimes, the recovery journey begins with crisis. Pornography or unwanted sexual behavior negatively impacts our lives and relationships and we know change is needed. But as the recovery journey progresses, crisis can diminish. When that happens, motivation for the journey changes. Today, we’re joined by Ben Bennett (leader of Resolution Movement and author of Free To Thrive and Living Free ) to talk through how recovery changes after the first year. We talk through the shift from a sobriety ...
Mar 28, 2023•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 299
A significant challenge men and women face in recovery is _image management_—the attempt to control how they are perceived by others. This can be even more challenging for those in the church. Today, we're joined by Nate Larkin (founder of Samson Society and author of Samson and the Pirate Monks ) to discuss what motivates this desire for image management. We talk about how to identify when we slip into image management, the pitfalls of it, and ways we can avoid or step out of image management. ...
Mar 21, 2023•57 min•Ep. 298
It seems inevitable that another high-profile Christian leader or pastor will have a public moral failing. Many of these moral failings are in the area of sexual brokenness. Today, we're joined by Randy Alcorn, the best-selling author of Heaven , Happiness , and The Purity Principle , to discuss why these failings continue to happen. Randy helps us understand what contributes to the fall of high-profile leaders, how churches can recover and heal, and how to prevent this in the future of the chur...
Mar 14, 2023•1 hr 22 min•Ep. 297
