We’re diving into some deep scientific thoughts this week, asking and answering the really important questions. Like is a small wolf just a dog? How many pounds can an ostrich hold? How many Olympic swimmers can Justin name? And does pepperoni-flavored water make for a more luxurious pizza experience? Suggested talking points: Analog Fountains, Dire Wolves were Made to Taste Of Dire Wolves, Prince Muscleton, Professional In-The-Water People, Caviar Bumps National Immigration Project: https://nip...
Apr 14, 2025•52 min•Ep. 760
We’re dominating LIVE from the Dominion Energy Center in Richmond, VA. The audience is honking to win Travis’s money while we answer needling questions about belting showtunes, same birthdays, and invoking That Frasier Feeling™. Suggested talking points: Vatican 2.3, Business Penguin, New Ways to Make Untertainment, Martin Crane Impersonator Who Brings His own Chair, Crime Trailer National Immigration Project: https://nipnlg.org/
Apr 07, 2025•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 759
Even though the three of us are openly displaying the inevitable crawl towards the grave with our greying hair and our outdated references, we are still here to help. We still know all the cool things, like the amount of wrestling one can watch with 2 kids, new and creative curses, and how many sides are in a square. Suggested talking points: Shakeup in the Curse Rankings, Set Faisons to Stun, A Square is a Half Octagon, Do You Suffer From Need?, Story-Driven Panting Harmony House: https://harmo...
Mar 31, 2025•56 min•Ep. 758
We're coming at you fresh from Terry Gross's Pledge Academy with some new jokes and some new tricks. We've got more haunted things, more expertise on chicken wings, and opinions about hiring several people with the same name. Suggested talking points: Murder on the Money Path, Wet Elliot, Canadian Chicken Wing Culture, Enderman for My Butt, An Authentic Nut Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com
Mar 24, 2025•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 757
Come spend a whole hour alone with us and our many birds. They've started getting rather creative with cuss words and talk about how they bedangled their weewoo. We're not sure what it means, either. Suggested talking points: One Very Motivated Marmoset, Vanilla to the Poor, Death to the Rich, The Sapphire Pimpernel, Jim Inside, Sad Dad Charcuterie Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com
Mar 17, 2025•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 756
Griffin has returned from the high seas just in time for us to take a question we’re actually qualified to answer. Along the way we rediscover the rule of threes, join a class action lawsuit, and try to figure out the best counter-move for an icebreaker. Suggested talking points: Adrien Brody’s Gumtoss, Standalone Ball Drawings, Mark Spotify CEO of Squarespace, Little House on the Toilet Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com
Mar 10, 2025•56 min•Ep. 755
We’re celebrating our most gruntable season yet by crafting cool sentences with all the sounds. Wanna know how to join the Donut Club, or Phil’s Inner Circle? The hit play right now, because this is when we do our jobs. Suggested Taking Points: I Am Doctor Chomp, A Huge Influx of Groundhogheads, Skin That Smokewagon, Incidental Beatles Pizza Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com
Mar 03, 2025•57 min•Ep. 754
Vroom, vroom! We're staying Faster Than Fear with the first Thunder Drive show straight from Tampa! Things get wet and beachy in Florida as we dole out wisdom about Hulk Hogan, sexy farmers, the least nutty nut, and picking up pheasants. Suggested talking points: Wheres Cars Pees From, Brutus “The Candlestick Maker” Beefcake, Clear Legal Yes, Seagrass by Fortnite, Where the Luck Comes Out, Did you Look Up Pheasant Shit Backstage? You can see a photo of our outfits from this show on instagram: ht...
Feb 24, 2025•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 753
We may not be the best at spelling, except for Griffin who once won a McFlurry with his spelling skills. But you know what we are good at? Funny sex numbers! New ways of grinding! And making up new jingles for brands that are definitely not in a familiar, copyrighted tune! Suggested talking points: You Think You Know Everything Dougie, America Runs on Dunkin and So Can Your Wardrobe, Spell this in Kanji, Gyrate Queen, Lateral Grind World Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/
Feb 17, 2025•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 752
By the time you hear this, everyone will already know what all the cool new commercials at the Big Game were, but we have to make our own predictions. Was Indiana Jones in one? How about one about welding perfect dimes? Or maybe burning pictures of Baby Yoda? Suggested talking points: Which Side is Your Property On, In the Pocket of the Vibe, I've Discovered Burning Things, The Sacred Secret Menu, Fancy Milf Frother World Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/
Feb 10, 2025•56 min•Ep. 751
Griffin is gonna be so embarrassed that he isn’t as rock-hard for the alien flying man as the rest of us. He’s hype as hell about Fourth Grade Fight Club and the special carpet dust, but he can’t muster enthusiasm for the things everyone else loves, like Cincinnati’s Special Cinnamon Me’at Spaghetti. USPS is gonna be mad at us again. Suggested talking points: Non-Denominational Cross, Knife on Knife Violence, Grating Chips at the Pringles Factory, Stuck on Savory Candy World Central Kitchen: htt...
Feb 03, 2025•58 min•Ep. 750
This is your pilot speaking, if you look out the left side of the podcast, you will find a needy virtual pet. If you look out the right side, there are hundreds upon hundreds of worms in top hats crawling up from the dirt. And if you look on the wing, you’ll see a large pile of loose spaghetti and meatballs resting on top of a pizza. Enjoy your flight! Suggested talking points: I Eat Plane Wires for Food, Mandagotchi, Nerual Net with My Little Guy, Do You Have Access to the Means of Production, ...
Jan 27, 2025•55 min•Ep. 749
Strong Morning, listeners! We’re speeding along with Sonic’s dad to give you the best advice about haircuts, signature pizza, and personal investigations. All of this to distract from the fact we have to come up with a new outro again. Fair winds, traveler! Suggested talking points: We Do Need to Said More Things, Enemy on a Plane, Your Situation Requires Hanging in There, The 7/11 Sorcerer, Pop Tart Fascinators Palestine Children's Relief Fund: https://www.pcrf.net/
Jan 20, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 748
We think it was pretty obvious that our growling stomachs had an outsized impact on the decision last week, so we’re continuing the year naming discussion. There's so many rhyme schemes we didn't even consider, like saying "und" a hundred times, so we're doing our due diligence. Buckle in, we’ll get there! Suggested talking points: Not Overdrive Guys, We're All on Rhyme Zone, What does Fish Wife Mean to You, Nothing with Chew or Depth, Intangible Knives, Please Don't Bring Change Palestine Child...
Jan 13, 2025•59 min•Ep. 747
It’s the longest episode ever (so far) and we’re determined to play with the format, and push the year naming further than ever before. Get ready to learn how to live your life for the next 365 days! Suggested talking points: Totally Fuckable Plastic Bag, How Do We Follow a Guy, Big Hork, Take a Cheekend, Loose Files, Mighty Morphin Xerox Xerox Vape, Maximum Bees Palestine Children's Relief Fund: https://www.pcrf.net/
Jan 06, 2025•2 hr 5 min•Ep. 746
For a festive Candlenights, we’re bringing you our traditional no-cussing episode. We’ve got new McElroy sword lore, uncomfortable Elf on the Shelf mythology, and discussions of torture in beloved children's holiday films! Just your usual, family-friendly seasonal fare! Suggested talking points: Elf on the Snelf, Frank Sinatra Biography Bar, Magic Union Bushes Blade, Think A Cuss, Air BnBumble Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/
Dec 23, 2024•55 min•Ep. 745
We’re going CYBER and getting all new augs and mods to make this show even better! Sunglasses that come out of our cheeks! An extra-wet mouth to maximize your peanut butter pretzel consumption! Rizz implants to flirt with computers! It’s the future, choom! Suggested talking points: Too Old For Spencer’s, Too Young for Spencer’s, My Balls are Prescription, Your Algo is Your Blade, Feel Different Together, Fan Fave Santa Belly Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/
Dec 16, 2024•57 min•Ep. 744
Welcome to the last live show of the Twenty Fungalore tour at the beautiful and delicious Pabst Theater. Join us as we lay the year to rest with an anthropomorphic Munch Squad, some wholesome haunted dolls, demon erotica, and a very neatly stacked pile of bricks. Suggested talking points: Digital Ibex Death, Brick and Mortar Magicians, My Axe is Leg Meat, A Lot of Time the Adventure is Hornets, Dwanta, All Those Ways of Describing Back Muscles, Chopin's 100 Farts Harmony House: https://harmonyho...
Dec 09, 2024•1 hr 26 min•Ep. 743
Hold onto your Shakespeare books, we’re about the turn the whole gym industry on its head by telling people that there’s heavy stuff everywhere! We’re also disrupting the wine industry with unconventional fruits, and the chocolate industry with extra-joyful Santas. Suggested talking points: Powered By Mold, Public Service Emmy, Shook Like Wet Spaghetti, Brie My Guest, No Joke Food in My House Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/
Dec 02, 2024•54 min•Ep. 742
We got lost in Cleveland’s Masonic Temple, but thankfully we were found by a potato-touting Kyle MacLachlan, who guided us through winding corridors of ambiguously abandoned bookshelves and designer headstones, and gifted us a cabinet full of mugs with people’s faces on them. Suggested talking points: Deep Vein of West Virginia Dirtbag, Coin-Operated Hot Dog, Miracle Tarp, Are You Dishwasher Safe?, Fun TikTok Headstone Dealer, Burial at Pee First Nations Development Institute: https://www.firstn...
Nov 25, 2024•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 741
We're getting all Newton this week with how much wisdom we're dropping. We'll tell you what to do with the incredible amount of Wicked merch, how to make friends as an adult, and we debut our new fitness app where you just battle people IRL. Suggested talking points: You Didn't Have to Bisect My Wife, Is Cliff Bars Just Lembas Bread, Diameter of the Table Grease, Enhanced Fast Food Regret First Nations Development Institute: https://www.firstnations.org/...
Nov 18, 2024•57 min•Ep. 740
This week’s episode is live from Tyson’s Corner, where we won the first trophies of our entire lives and our dad wasn’t even there to see it . . . so please tell him what good boys we are. Please also invite him to the dumpster party, ask him to install an emotional support Squatty Potty, and plant some very tall vegetables, if he has the time. Suggested talking points: The Peeper will Keep us Safe, Extreme Slobster Close-Up, 18-Year-Old Baby Witch, Kelvin Kline, Plea For Shrek First Nations Dev...
Nov 11, 2024•1 hr 20 min•Ep. 739
It's November and you know what that means: time for some spooky Halloween Christmas creep! This episode is full to the brim with only slightly out of date seasonal content, and some of the best advice you could ask for, like how to tell if you might be a babadook, gameifying your trivia night, and how to deflect your bathroom whoopsies onto zoo animals. But please, PLEASE don't tell Jack Hanna any of this. Suggested talking points: Mark After Dark, The Spear of Lily's Destiny, Just do The Chase...
Nov 04, 2024•58 min•Ep. 738
Early signs pointed to a cursed one, but Atlanta was anything but cursed last month. The Faulty JanSport inspector saved us from disaster, the curse of Riddle Me Piss was lifted from Travis, and a CPAP machine protected us from poisonous gas (or something, we're not really sure what a CPAP does). Other than Justin's piss-soaked costume, it was a real charmed show! Suggested talking points: Top-of-the-Line A-PAP Machine, The Enabling of Trav Nation, #KitKatVanillaBreakSweepstakes, AirFnF, Claws A...
Oct 28, 2024•1 hr 22 min•Ep. 737
We got him, folks! We Gaga-got him! The clown is down! There's already an alarming amount of turkey vultures circling around, so you'll never see him again! Now we can make room for giant tubs of ranch dressing, tasty canopic jars, and uncomfortable discourse around the Mario family lore. Suggested talking points: Evil on My Mother's Side, 500 Foot Super Bird, Twelve Volumes of Ichor, Your Impact on My Jock is Minimal at Best, Big Dip Cup Big Enough, Slutz for Utz Native Women Lead: https://www....
Oct 21, 2024•59 min•Ep. 736
This one is for the real nerds out there, and we mean MUSCLE NERDS! Show off those gams! Lift those Chipotle burritos and get swole! Make your eyes so strong you can see John Cena! Suggested talking points: Pentagram of Chipotles, Ask Me About My Tea Poster, Polar Pizza Before the Resurrection, Justin McElroy Bad News for Bots Native Women Lead: https://www.nativewomenlead.org/
Oct 14, 2024•58 min•Ep. 735
Look, everyone is thinking it but we're finally gonna be the ones say it: saran wrap sucks. In this episode we bravely take on this and other topics, such as pulling a reverse Indiana Jones, supporting the frontline Ghostbusters, and the sanctity of collectible donut inflatables. Suggested Talking Points: Crossboner, Ebert Beast Mode, Claude Money, On Loan from the Artists Gallery, Thank you Teresa for Watching Ghosts, Too Much Show Not Enough Business, Spyuukie Season Native Women Lead: https:/...
Oct 07, 2024•57 min•Ep. 734
Live from Rose City Comic Con in Portland, featuring only the best in lossless fart audio! We love this town, and we love all the questions about the value of valueless collectables, the fun of liquid nitrogen, and how to get electrocuted but in a cool way. Suggested talking points: A Picture of Betty Cooper we Didn’t Know We Wanted Until Now, Penny Crimes, Human Tissue Factory, Discreet Plumber Experienced with Toilet Magic, Aroma Romance, Michael’s Secret Stuff The Aroma Gate covers are availa...
Sep 30, 2024•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 733
If you've ever wondered what compliment to give your favorite piece of art (or podcast) we have some suggestions for you in this episode. Although the best praise of all would be eating part of the podcast so that it will always be part of you. Suggested talking points: Everyone's Always Swapping Blood Out, A Terrifying Amount of Sperm, Jackson Pollock Zune, Peanut Protrusion Equal Justice Initiative: https://eji.org/about/
Sep 23, 2024•1 hr•Ep. 732
Are you ready to take a deep dive into the Dunkin-verse? We sure aren’t! We’re too busy buying honey directly from bees, collecting other people’s crunchy leaves, and holding our breath while someone else tries to describe boba. Suggested talking points: Eating Goku, Whiffin Griffin, Theftbot, Soft Oven-Baked Nilla Wafers, A Normal Amount of Dead Birds, Active Boba Listening Equal Justice Initiative: https://eji.org/about/
Sep 16, 2024•57 min•Ep. 731
