How gardening can be therapeutic
In this episode, we discuss the benefits of gardening and how it can be therapeutic for us and our families!
Mar 29, 2023•30 min
Marriage Family & Peace
Marriage, Family, and the Pursuit of Peace
Episodes
Unequally Yoked
How might a couple be unequally yoked? How will you notice if the person your dating is going to be different, once you are married? These are questions that we discuss on this podcast episode.
Feb 14, 2023•31 min
Should I give my children consequences.
The concept of not giving children consequences is growing in popularity. In this episode we discuss if it is a good idea to give children consequences. We also discuss tips on how to give the consequences.
Jan 28, 2023•38 min
When Your Spouse Misses Social Cues
What happens when your spouse misses social cues? How do you interpret that? What do you do if you are the one who is missing social cues in your relationship? What approach do you have? We don't have all the answers, but we are happy to share our thoughts and ideas on our situation.
Sep 07, 2022•30 min
How to Adjust to Each Other as Newlyweds
This episode describes ideas about how to adjust to each other as newlyweds.
Aug 26, 2022•26 min
Seeking Yourself or Losing Yourself in Marriage
Jesus, Ghandi, and Mother Teresa all said the same thing. When he lose ourselves, we find ourselves; when we find ourselves, we lose ourselves. There are two types of marriages. The unhappy type where two people constantly demand that the other person meets their needs. The happy type where two people stop thinking about themselves and enjoy loving and caring for the other person.
Aug 13, 2022•30 min
How to manage the anxiety of an affair
Managing the anxiety of an affair can be difficult. In this episode we don't discuss how restoring trust can decrease the anxiety. We discuss how decreasing the anxiety can decrease the anxiety. Trust will be independent of decreasing the anxiety.
Jul 22, 2022•30 min
Will your husband change when he understands how much something hurts you?
Will your husband change when he understands how much something hurts you? Sometimes a husband is not aware that something he is doing is hurting you. Letting him know helps him become aware and helps him know that he needs to change an action. Some actions can be changed very quickly. Others take time to change. Some actions are multifaceted and require changes on multiple levels. These actions require effort, introspection, and trial and error. Just because your husband did not change right aw...
Sep 21, 2021•23 min
Why is my wife bringing this up?
A lot of ladies are external processors. They need to talk things out in order to make sense of the emotions and thoughts they have in their mind. Sometimes ladies will bring up things from the past, not because they want to hurt their husband, but because it reminds them about something that is going on in the present and they are trying to make sense of it. A lot of husbands have a desire to be good at being a husband. When the wife comes to them to talk about a problem, they often feel like t...
Sep 03, 2021•5 min
Your Stress About Church Might Be Coming From Yourself
Jesus is the author of Christianity. He indicated that his "yoke is easy" and his "burden is light." When going to church starts to stress us out, it is probably more about what we are thinking and less about what God is thinking. There aren't too many commandments to follow. Jesus indicated that the greatest commandments are to "love God and love our neighbor." When we start to feel smothered and restricted by the commandments, maybe our feelings of hardship are due to the way we are thinking a...
Aug 10, 2021•16 min
Marriage Solutions That Don't Work Outside of Marriage
I really look up to the customers that come in to see me for counseling. They are resilient, hard-working, and very smart. I'm being honest about that. I think they are great people. For whatever reason, we all tend to be on our A-game when we are by ourselves, but when our partner is involved we get tangled up in our emotions and we lose track of our senses. This segment is about common ways that we try to solve marriage problems. They do not work, but we try to make them work anyway.
Jul 28, 2021•11 min
Dos and Don'ts with Kids and Divorce
This episode contains some dos and dont's with kids and divorce. Suggestions about what helps the kids and what harms the kids in a post divorce situation.
Jul 02, 2021•31 min
Fun
Sometimes we forget that fun is an important part of life. Without adding a little spice, we can become depressed, bored, and irritable. This sometimes results in unhealthy outlets. It is much better to find fun and wholesome ways to enjoy life, than to fall into an unhealthy outlet. Each person needs a different amount of spice in their life. Sometimes resentment can build up if we stifle our spouse from seeking out the wholesome fun that they crave. We often forget that fun is a necessary part...
May 14, 2021•27 min
Seeing The World Through Your Partner's Eyes
When you are trying to understand your partner, it helps to try and see the world through their eyes. This is done by trying to put yourself in your partner's shoes and then trying to understand what it is like to walk around in them. Your not only trying to feel what it is like, you are trying to understand their reasoning behind their choices and actions. When you can understand the reasoning behind their choices and actions, then your partner will open up to you at a deeper level. Once they f...
Mar 21, 2021•18 min
Addictions
In this episode we discuss why addictions take away freedom and how to get it back. We discuss how people use addictions to overcome depression and how to overcome depression without the use of addictions.
Mar 06, 2021•25 min
Self Serving Bias
We all are biased towards something or someone. Sometimes we are biased towards ourselves. We tend to overestimate our abilities and benevolence. Oftentimes we do this while we underestimate the benevolence of others in our family. If this happens we can build up resentment. This resentment results in us becoming irritated towards our family members which results in our family members withdrawing form us. The withdrawing can confirm our assumptions that the family member is not as invested as we...
Feb 14, 2021•19 min
Tolerate or Not Tolerate
It's never a good idea to tolerate abuse. No one wants to get yelled at or put down. It is up to you to decide what to do when someone is hurtful. You can leave the conversation, leave the home, or leave the relationship. You cannot change the other person, no matter how hard you try. They can change themselves. If they don't want to change themselves, they do not have to. It is their choice. If you don't want to stand and listen to someone yell at you, you can leave. You also have a choice. The...
Jan 31, 2021•31 min
Karma
Liza told a story about her brother, who worked as a butler. He was beat and yelled at. He was not given his salary, even though he worked there for a year. His boss ended up experiencing some painful karma. His skin started pealing off his body and he became infested with ants. He was in a lot of pain, but he couldn't die. He sought for her brother and asked him for forgiveness. Her brother forgave him and then he promptly died. Karma is not kind.
Jan 03, 2021•26 min
Bye Bye Anger
Liza told a story about being upset at a local facility. She did not attend services and they made her pay because she did not withdraw in a method that they accepted. When she reversed it in her mind and she decided she was making a donation, her anger went away. When we have a problem and we redefine it as a solution, the body relaxes and lets go of anger. If my spouse is demanding that I fold the laundry in a specific way and I do it out of obligation, I might feel angry because I am framing ...
Dec 11, 2020•24 min
Troubles that can happen with your kid's cellphone
There are some troubles that come up when your kid has a cellphone. Kids can receive constant texts and phone calls from friends, requesting emotional support. Although being supportive is good, it was wear a person down emotionally if there are not any breaks taken. Kids should also be aware of the dangers of sexting and sextortion.
Nov 21, 2020•24 min
Don't Be A Meanie Head
Did you know that if you yell at someone, they will yell back. If you want the conversation to go well, be calm and kind when you talk to them. If you do this, you and your love will be happier.
Nov 13, 2020•20 min
Building Up Verses Tearing Down
People complain that their spouse is unhappy and doesn't want to be around them. They fail to notice that if you treat people kind, they will want to be around you. If you treat people mean, they will want to distance themselves from you. If you build people up, they will be happier than if you tear them down. This will make them more pleasant to be around.
Nov 07, 2020•32 min
Intrinsic Self Worth
Our self worth is unchanging. Our deficits are atoned through Jesus the Christ. Because of the atonement of Jesus, our intrinsic value is constant. Our emotions are not dependent upon our value changing. Our emotions change when we compare our current state to another state. We have the power to choose what state we are comparing ourselves to. This changes our emotions. Contentment and peace can also be found simply by not comparing one state to another.
Oct 30, 2020•29 min
Overwhelmed
This is a little story about me. It is a story about how feeling overwhelmed created a feeling of anxiety. It created a feeling of inadequacy. It also created erroneous perceptions of my wife's comments. When I let go of my unnecessary desires, I did not feel inadequate. I got the same amount of work accomplished. My focus was on what mattered. I also started interpreting comments more accurately.
Oct 18, 2020•11 min
You Don't Need to Place Blame to Solve a Problem
A couple does not need to place blame in order to solve a problem. Instead of focusing on who’s to blame, they can focus on solutions. It is helpful to keep a calm voice. It is also helpful to spend time trying to understand their partner. If a person does place blame, that are at risk for triggering past memories and trauma in their partner that may be very unpleasant for them. The partner will then be reacting to your blame in a visceral manner.
Oct 03, 2020•23 min
How to Evict the People Living in Your Head
Sometimes we are motivated for the wrong reasons. We do things because we do not want to be criticized. We do things because we want to coerce someone into loving us. We do things because we want someone's opinion of us to be different. When this happens, the person we are trying to change starts taking up residence in our head. We start hearing their voice dictate our actions and our decisions. As this occurs, we can build up frustration and animosity towards that person, because they are never...
Sep 24, 2020•30 min
Internal Verses External Locus of Control in Relationships
People with an internal locus of control believe that they change their environment. People with an external locus of control believes their environment changes them. When someone with an external locus of control marries someone with an internal locus of control, we have one person believing that all of their emotions and marital issues are because of the other person.
Sep 13, 2020•18 min
What trauma is and how to manage it
Traumatic events happen to us throughout our lives. Our body tries to avoid the traumatic event by causing us to avoid or become angry in situations that are similar to the traumatic event. We can retrain our bodies to respond differently to the triggers.
Aug 28, 2020•41 min
Coveting, Desires, and Goals
Setting goals for ourselves is a useful tool. When we decide that we can only be content once we achieve our goals, then we will be feel less than enough. When we decide that our contentment is determined by us reaching that higher state, we will feel pressure to reach it. As the pressure mounts up, we start to frantically take measure of our progress. Our mind will start using others as a way to measure our progress. As we notice we are doing better than others, we will feel prideful. When we n...
Aug 22, 2020•10 min
Love can't be coerced
Love can't be coerced. As people we become entitled and demanding of our spouse. We feel unloved so we demand that our spouse loves us. This doesn't work. Love is an experience. It isn't a commodity that can be demanded.
Jul 31, 2020•29 min
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