Have you ever looked at a photograph of yourself (or passed by your reflection in a mirror) and felt a surge of shock or body image distress run through your whole body? This is what Stef calls a "flood," and in this episode we dive a little deeper into why this happens and what we can do about it. We’re coming to NYC! Fatphobia is implicit in feeling disgust or disapproval of our image Disorientation of an image versus our mental self image Do body image coaches have floods? How our perspective...
Mar 01, 2023•46 min•Ep. 85
Have you noticed difficulty or discomfort in the small transitions of life, like coming home from work or preparing to wind-down for the night? Why are transitions a time we turn to food for help? In this episode, we talk about: What is transition eating Sarah’s afternoon walk Stef’s nighttime transition and home/work transition When the kids go to bed Transitioning back to work after lunch Eating while traveling Eating after a nap Eating on autopilot after bingeing Autopilot can be a form of di...
Feb 22, 2023•42 min•Ep. 83
Many of us have tried to reduce or eliminate white sugar, flour, carbohydrates, and/or processed foods in order to improve our relationship with food, reduce overeating, and lose weight. Does this approach make sense? Does it help? Is it a problem with the approach or a problem with us? In this episode, we explore: Stef’s experience of feeling good on keto, and it’s unraveling Is it a psychological or a physiological issue? Bright Line Eating and the science of insulin and leptin Stef’s “close-t...
Feb 15, 2023•41 min•Ep. 83
Has your body changed in recovery, or as a result of your disordered eating patterns? This can be hard enough in our fatphobic society, but there is often an added layer of “clothing grief.” Fashion can be part of a creative expression that feels like part of our identity; and its not secret that fashion culture caters to smaller bodies. In this episode, we talk to Dacy of Mindful Closet. Dacy empowers women “to be their authentic selves through their clothes” even when body image feels like a b...
Feb 08, 2023•42 min•Ep. 82
Many people who've struggled with binge eating for a long time have come across the book "Brain Over Binge" by Kathryn Hansen. Sarah and Stef, co-hosts, both read the book as they tried to recover and are discussing how the method landed for them. The episode looks into: Stef’s history and experience with reading BOB and taking the official BOB course Sarah’s experience of “looking forward to” the next binge urge to learn a new response. Dismissal of urges as irresponsible – what if those messag...
Feb 01, 2023•40 min•Ep. 81
Restricting and bingeing (and the spectrum of these behaviors) can be attempts to numb our emotional experience. This episode looks at different ways of numbing and how Sarah & Stef experienced using food as an escape. We cover: Numbing via eating and numbing via restriction Do binges make us “not feel” or feel more? Stef’s recollection of numbing in London circa 2000 The feeling that tomorrow it will be different. Connection to break the numbing cycle Somatic practices, embodiment, checking...
Jan 25, 2023•43 min•Ep. 80
Control is an unavoidable theme in the subject of eating disorder recovery. What is your relationship to control and how do you define it? The hosts explore their own experience of the concept and also highlight its important (and at times, healthy) role in navigating recovery. Sarah & Stef discuss: Light podcast banter. What podcasts do we listen to? The thrill of control/restriction Stef feels like control is safety; Sarah feels like control is dominance. The role of control in bulimia and...
Jan 18, 2023•48 min•Ep. 79
What role does food play in grief (around death, breakups, or existential itchiness)? In this episode Sarah & Stef share some personal stories, including a little cry! Sarah’s loss of her Mum Stef’s losses of relationships The idea of a “revenge body” Weight gain as a “sign” of a breakup? Stef’s loss of a primary friendship in college, and what happened after Nostalgia (grief) for places and eras of life Searching for food that will take that feeling away Existential grief, even as experienc...
Jan 11, 2023•40 min•Ep. 78
In this episode, Sarah and Stef talk about their relationship with food from a recovered perspective. Do we ever feel binge urges? Does a disordered tendency ever really disappear? Stef’s experience of over-hunger and how it impacts her urge to eat Sarah’s experience of brunch last Sunday Cake as a habit and compulsion (minus guilt) – Sarah’s story Food neutrality does not mean some foods aren’t more appealing What about dopamine? What about emotional urges to eat? And cravings? Do urges to rest...
Jan 04, 2023•47 min•Ep. 77
Happy (almost) 2023, LAD listeners! This time of year is loaded with resolutions and plans for becoming a "better" version of ourselves. It seems like this is more often than not related to changing our body size or eating in new ways. If you're looking for a conversation about the New Year that can put some of this into perspective and take the pressure off, this episode is for you. We'll discuss: Clean Slate syndrome & perfectionism Jealousy of other people’s diet resolutions (and successe...
Dec 28, 2022•34 min•Ep. 76
The intersection of neurodivergence with disordered eating is a relatively unexplored area. Thought hyperactivity, food urgency, and nervous system dysregulation can have powerful consequences on our relationship with food. We talk to Becca King (aka The ADHD Nutritionist) about things like: Gender differences in ADHD Types and symptoms of ADHD Hyperactivity of the brain (hyperactive thoughts) Becca’s experience with EDs Stimulation through food (while watching TV, at night when meds wear off) W...
Dec 21, 2022•51 min•Ep. 75
In this episode we answer the following question from a listener: is it possible to hit a wall in recovery and not be able to go any further? How do you know if you’re in true recovery? What if our behaviors change but the disordered thoughts remain? We discuss: Is full recovery even possible? Recovery on a spectrum Are Stef & Sarah fully recovered? The role of patience What comes first: self acceptance or recovery? What if we get stuck in semi-recovery Are we recovered if we emotionally eat...
Dec 14, 2022•37 min•Ep. 74
Have you ever heard the phrase: the way we eat is the way we do everything? Do you agree? What parallels to you notice between the way you feel around food and the way you feel about other things? In this episode we talk about: Food as distraction Pace and slowing down (eating fast --> doing everything fast) What else did/does Sarah “binge” on? Ending the eating experience as another version of loss, ending Bingeing information, attention, sex, TV Food playing out through self-care, planning,...
Dec 07, 2022•31 min•Ep. 73
It’s that time of year again! More food, more parties, more alcohol, more people to see. In this episode we talk about the many topics that come up during a season that can be tricky in a life without dieting. How the holidays “ruined” Sarah’s Paleo streak Alcohol, work parties, and eating How Sarah developed her inner alcohol threshold voice Drinking as an excuse to eat Dealing with getting dressed up after weight gain Seeing photos of party pics Eating with and/or in front of others Takeaways ...
Nov 30, 2022•36 min•Ep. 72
Stef’s mom, Donna, joins us on the podcast to talk about what it was like to be a mother to a daughter with an eating disorder, and how Stef & Donna reconcile that period of time in present day. Donna’s memories of how Stef developed her EDs Stef’s experience in college and in an IOP Stef’s favorite therapist Binge eating as not serious “enough” How an ED impacts an entire family How Stef’s husband interacted with the ED dynamic How Donna reacted to Stef’s recovery…and does she realize that ...
Nov 23, 2022•42 min•Ep. 71
**LONDON LIVE EVENT** Click here for more info and to purchase tickets Do you feel like you have good intentions for yourself but somehow end up "ruining it"? In this episode we look at why we self-sabotage, including how we might thwart our efforts at weight loss and also how the term itself might be misleading. We'll discuss: Why Stef isn’t a fan of the term Self-sabotage as an identity or confirmation of beliefs Sarah’s dating story Stef’s wardrobe sabotage The inner child component: are we a...
Nov 16, 2022•38 min•Ep. 70
Depression and anxiety are common partners with binge eating, overeating, restricting, and other forms of disordered eating. What do we make of this intersection? How can we have more influence over our relationship with food if we are also dealing with these conditions? In this episode, we discuss: Definitions of depression and anxiety (and spectrums of each) Stef & Sarah’s experiences of how depression feels Nervous system theory of depression: the freeze state Shame as part of the freeze/...
Nov 09, 2022•43 min•Ep. 69
When we reject diets, there is often a period of weight gain that follows. But what if it feels like you'll just keep gaining weight and never stop? How long does this go on for? In this episode, we discuss: How long it took Stef to reach her weight set range Periods of rapid weight gain Weight gain as the body’s insurance policy Doesn’t it make sense that if eating stabilizes, we should lose weight? Do you have to love yourself to make peace with your body? Being in our bodies in the present mo...
Nov 02, 2022•35 min•Ep. 68
Part Two in a two-part series about hunger and fullness: what about the fear of fullness? Last week we discussed why feeling hungry can be triggering for some people, and this week we are looking at how fullness can activate belief systems and automatic behaviors. We explore: Sarah’s experience of fullness with spaghetti bolognese Fullness and guilt Fullness and feeling like we “should” stop Fullness and being in the body What if I eat and never feel full? Delayed fullness cues and extreme hunge...
Oct 26, 2022•38 min•Ep. 67
What is your relationship with hunger? Do you ever eat to prevent the feeling of hunger? What do you think this is about? In this episode, we talk about: Stef’s internal hunger “alarm bell” The difference between hunger and deprivation What if we have hunger AND anxiety? Eating prophylactically to avoid hunger What does hunger actually FEEL like for you How somatic awareness helps us feel safer with hunger (or safer to experiment with it) Sarah’s phobia of wasps (and what this has to do with fea...
Oct 19, 2022•36 min•Ep. 66
To weigh or not to weigh? This question can interrupt many an intuitive eater's journey, so we dedicated a whole episode to the topic. We cover questions like: Do Stef & Sarah know their weights? Can weight just be data? What stories do we attach to numbers What about getting weighed at the doctors office? How to decline being weighed at the doctor Why do we need to know our weight? Hard evidence over self-trust Does weight tell you how to feel? https://more-love.org/free-dont-weigh-me-cards...
Oct 12, 2022•34 min•Ep. 65
Sarah and Stef share the lessons they learned through their recovery from disordered eating. Join our growing support community. This community is for you if you want to improve your relationship with food and become more comfortable in your own skin. Community membership includes invites to live episode recordings (online), support meetings, a private Facebook group and monthly Q&As. For more information go to: https://www.patreon.com/lifeafterdiets Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lif...
Oct 05, 2022•31 min•Ep. 64
This episode features a guest -- not an expert -- who is still working through her relationship with food and body image and doesn't have it all figured out. We hope you find it helpful to hear from someone who might be exactly where you are, and can relate to the parts of this process that don't feel like they have answers. We discuss: Where food and body issues started for Nicole Feeling stuck between “I can’t diet anymore” and “I can’t deal with my weight.” Photographs & mirrors as trigge...
Sep 28, 2022•45 min•Ep. 63
Having a disordered relationship with food can erode our sense of self-trust. Not only do we learn to trust outside voices over our own hunger, but we also can't seem to keep the promises we make to ourselves about food. In this episode, we cover a range of topics including: What is self trust How promises to “not binge today” erodes our self-trust Shame, authenticity, and values What does our ego have to do with it? Consistency as a self-trust builder Stories of laziness, flakiness, and irrespo...
Sep 21, 2022•35 min•Ep. 62
Stress is a common trigger for eating, overeating, and binge eating. If you're someone who experiences increased urges to eat when you're stressed or anxious, this episode explores the following topics: What does stress look like? The stress of transitions What if stress is not something we can reduce? Challenging beliefs about how stress and coping interact Stress, anxiety, and the window of tolerance Tips for coping with stress Is food something we CAN use when we’re stressed? Why don’t we use...
Sep 14, 2022•41 min•Ep. 61
Guilt can be a huge barrier to feeling peaceful with food. What do we do with the feelings of guilt that remain around what we eat, how we eat, and how much we eat? In this episode, we discuss: Guilt, defined Two layers of cognitive belief systems Can guilt be useful? Reframing guilt as disappointment Regulating guilt in the beginning of recovery Separating guilt from shame Deconstructing guilt relates to self-esteem, sitting with feelings, expectations, etc. Somatic experience of guilt What doe...
Sep 07, 2022•47 min•Ep. 60
In this episode we are talking to Brianna Campos of Body Image with Bri about the Body Grief framework. We’ll also talk about: How Bri came to focus on grief in her work around body image Dealing with: other people’s judgment; discomfort; health concerns The difference between body acceptance vs body positivity Bri’s framework for body image grief: insight + action + over time + in community What if grief feels too messy and painful? The stages of grief Dismantling the story Discomfort vs distre...
Aug 31, 2022•45 min•Ep. 59
If we overeat or find it hard to stop eating because we don't want to waste food, how can we navigate this conflict? This episode talks about: Sarah’s experimental task to throw away one bite of food What about throwing away food so you don’t eat it? What about leftovers? Kids’ lunchboxes Being a “good girl” or “good boy” by finishing what’s on your plate Grieving the end of a meal Top 5 most wasted food items Eating to overfullness in an effort not to “waste” Different types of overeating Throw...
Aug 24, 2022•35 min•Ep. 58
There is a significant intersection of people with eating disorders and disordered eating with T/trauma. In this episode, we identify the meaning of trauma and explore how it shows up in our body beyond intellectual awareness. We also discuss: Trauma informed vs trauma aware A little of Stef’s history Anger and eating disorder behaviors The issue of safety Quote by Gabor Mate The role of connection and co-regulation Shame, non-judgment, safety, and repetition Intergenerational trauma Join the LA...
Aug 17, 2022•42 min•Ep. 57
Food logs and meal planning are hallmarks of weight loss efforts and diet culture. Is there any place for them in a non-diet approach? In this episode, we talk about: Do we like food diaries? Food structure reduces decision making Is intuitive eating about meal variety? But I don’t like meal planning because I don’t know what I’ll want to eat Sarah’s lunches this week What’s the difference between not being satisfied and not being full? Did Stef get too hungry when Sarah visited NYC? Meal times ...
Aug 10, 2022•38 min•Ep. 56
