Meet Angela Williams - Part 2 Survivor. Advocate. Author. 00:52 Angela's Story continued 05.39 A Hot mess 11.49 No Adults helped her 20:52 Summary She was abused by her stepfather from age 3 - 17, and at times tortured. Her mother did not help. She considers what helped her recovery and healing from this abuse, was her resilience, and that survivors unwittingly have so much of this. You can reach Angela on all social media platforms: @angelasvoice or her website angelasvoice.com HELP NZ Sexual H...
Nov 14, 2023•23 min•Season 3Ep. 43
Meet Angela Williams - Part 1 Survivor. Advocate. Author. 01:05 Angela's Story 07.09 Child Humiliation 14.24 Snapped at 16 23:11 Summary She was abused by her stepfather from age 3 - 17, and the physical, sexual and emotional abuse she experienced, makes it miraculous she survived. She considers what helped her recovery and healing from this abuse, was her resilience, the support of her husband, and her faith. Yu can reach Angela on all social media platforms: @angelasvoice or her website angela...
Nov 12, 2023•25 min•Season 3Ep. 42
Weekly updates on the channel delivered fresh to your door. This week on our YT Channel our survivor is Angela Williams She was abused by her stepfather from age 3 - 17, how she survived and what she experienced was a nightmare beyond all proportions. Eventually, Having someone helped her recover and heal. That becomes our survivor tip for the week and can be found on our website and all other social media platforms: handingtheshameback.org and IG, FB, Twitter, TikTok and LinkedIn #handingthesha...
Nov 12, 2023•2 min
Repressed memories This is a very common for us as survivors. It simply means the mind buried what happened, because the events were too traumatic for us to deal with at the time, in other words the mind was trying to protect us. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #handingtheshameback #handsign4kids #childhoodsexualabuse #survivorofsexualabuse #survivors...
Nov 09, 2023•2 min•Season 5Ep. 33
Meet Gigi Kilroe Part 2 Survivor. Advocate. Author and Speaker. Quick recap: Gigi was abused by her half brother 13 years older than her from the age of 4, while her mother lay dying of cancer in the bedroom next door. You wont want to miss her remarkable story. You can reach out to Gigi on https://www.facebook.com/gigi.kilroe?mibextid=9R9pXO Her book is called From Within: My Path of Hope and Healing from Sexual Abuse https://a.co/d/j7BAoZY https://instagram.com/gk797979?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ o...
Nov 07, 2023•24 min•Season 3Ep. 41
Meet Gigi Kilroe Survivor. Advocate. Author and Speaker. For ease of viewing go to: 01:22 Gigi's Story 07.11 The photo revealing all 14.34 Noticing children the age you were abused Gigi was 4 years old when her half brother 13 years older began abusing her while her mother lay in the bedroom dying of cancer. You wont want to miss her remarkable story. You can reach out to Gigi on https://www.facebook.com/gigi.kilroe?mibextid=9R9pXO Her book is called From Within: My Path of Hope and Healing from...
Nov 05, 2023•25 min•Season 3Ep. 40
Weekly updates on the channel delivered fresh to your door. Survivor Interviews are published on the channel each week. All Survivor tips, blogs and Tips for Supporting survivors are on all our other social media platforms and our website handingtheshameback.org we are on: FB, IG, Twitter, TikTok and LinkedIn. #handingtheshameback #handsign4kids #survivors We are on all social media platforms: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HandingtheShameBack Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/handingthes...
Nov 05, 2023•1 min
Survivors and self sabotage This shows itself in us refusing to ask for help, or not completing a deadline in time, It may be that we start picking fights or continually setting goals that are too high. Doing any of these are damaging and considered self sabotage, which is considered one of the hallmarks of child sexual abuse. For some tips have a listen, it may just surprise you. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching wheth...
Nov 02, 2023•2 min•Season 5Ep. 32
Nathan Spiteri - Part 2 of his story 00:00 Introduction & Recap 01:16 Impacts and navigating healing 23:22 Summary Nathan is a Survivor. Advocate. Writer. Actor He was targeted and groomed by a stranger at the local pools. He was raped from the age of 8 until he was 13 years old, and he ended up being a Stockholm relationship. He feels that what helped him was saying the words, it’s not my fault., and owning what hurt he had caused others through his subsequent behaviour and finding forgiven...
Oct 31, 2023•25 min•Season 3Ep. 39
00:00 Introduction 00:55 Nathan's Story 25:35 Summary Meet Nathan Spiteri - Part 1 of his story Survivor. Advocate. Writer. Actor Nathan was targeted and groomed by a stranger at the local pools. He was raped from the age of 8 until he was 13 years old, and felt he ended up being a Stockholm relationship. He has achieved much since then including writing a book and doing a TedTalk, all to help other survivors. You can reach out to Nathan through his website https://www.nathanspiteri.com/ HELP NZ...
Oct 29, 2023•27 min•Season 3Ep. 38
Dysregulation This is commonly described as someone who struggles with managing emotions, or controlling their impulsive behaviour. This is a common feature survivors have and sometimes they don't know they are doing it, or even how to manage it. In those moments what you can do is provide a calm and nurturing environment till they can settle back into emotional regulation. For more tips and ideas, feel free to reach out for any resources including coaching and books, by going directly to https:...
Oct 26, 2023•2 min
Survivors, Silence has been used against us in destructive and manipulative ways, mainly to keep us silent and therefore the secret, hidden and buried. Did you know that silence is available to us to use as well? We can use it in conversation with people who struggle to hear our stories, or who minimise them when they. Instead of justifying ourselves, lets just use silence as our response.. It is powerful. Go to our website (see below) for more information on our foundation If you are looking fo...
Oct 22, 2023•5 min
Survivors Not having a relationship with family members is difficult enough without people judging us for it. In this clip I discuss ways to navigate this, as well as offering congratulations to you for having the courage to stand up for what you believe. By choosing to end those relationships, is exactly what you needed to do. How do I know this? Because you did it. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or...
Oct 19, 2023•2 min•Season 5Ep. 31
Meet Marita Murphy: Victim. Survivor. Advocate. This is part 2 of Marita's story. She was initially sexually abused by a teenage boy & friend of the family, meant to care for her. Her first night in that home, age 7 changed the trajectory of her whole life. She discusses the ongoing battle she has in trying to seek justice and be recompensed for what she suffered. She has support behind her, but faces obstacles with every avenue she turns down. For more on her story and to understand what sh...
Oct 17, 2023•23 min•Season 3Ep. 37
Meet Marita Murphy: Victim. Survivor. Advocate. This is part 1 of Marita's story. She was initially sexually abused by a teenage boy & friend of the family, meant to care for her. Her first night in that home, age 7 changed the trajectory of her whole life. What helped her through was being believed and returned to her mothers care, her love of horses and books. for more on her story and to understand what she is currently facing, you can reach out to Marita on murphymarita85@gmail.com and w...
Oct 15, 2023•22 min•Season 4Ep. 36
Hey Survivors This is linked to Lorward Choi's interview, now live on YouTube. Not giving up on yourself, can be a real challenge. E.g., stopping the self care, the self love and can even include not having your own back. Here's one idea on how to combat this: You are here for a reason, you made it through for a reason, and even one thing you may say may help even one other person. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whet...
Oct 12, 2023•3 min•Season 5Ep. 30
Meet Lorward Choi Survivor. Optimist. Brother. In this: Part 2 of his interview, Lorward discusses the challenges he faced, sometimes on a daily basis when it all felt really hard. How not giving up could happen in small ways as a survivor, and that even one small action, like making his bed, could be considered a win, especially on those difficult days. Just to recap on Part 1, in case you missed it: Lorward was groomed and abused in his first year at college by someone who was considered a fri...
Oct 10, 2023•26 min•Season 4Ep. 35
Meet Lorward Choi Brother. Optimist. Survivor. He was groomed and abused in his first year at college by someone who was considered a friend. This person was three years older and over several years repeatedly manipulated, groomed and abused him. What helped Lorward through his healing was Journaling, Advocacy and Therapy. You can reach out to him on email at: lorwardchoi4@gmail.com HELP NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male ...
Oct 08, 2023•23 min•Season 4Ep. 34
Survivors This tip is linked to Juanita Phillips interview, which is now live on YouTube. We need to understand dysregulation and how it affects us: It shows itself in our inability to control or regulate our emotional responses. For example: we may experience overly intense emotions, compulsive behaviour or may struggle with decision making or avoiding difficult emotions. The big one we struggle to manage our own behaviour at times. See which one is you, and listen to some tips on how to best m...
Oct 05, 2023•2 min•Season 5Ep. 29
Meet Juanita Phillips Survivor. Advocate. Poet. In this: Part 2 of her interview, Juanita discusses how Dysregulation affected her life as a survivor. She talks about how it showed up, and how she learned to manage it. Just to recap on Part 1, in case you missed it: Junita survived abuse from 8 perpetrators starting from the age of 3. She tried to get justice by going to court, not once but twice. What helped her was the unconditional love she got from pets, and telling someone with the same sor...
Oct 03, 2023•25 min•Season 4Ep. 33
Meet Juanita Phillips Survivor. Advocate. Poet. She survived abuse from 8 perpetrators starting from the age of 3. She tried to get justice by going to court, not once but twice. The first time in the late 90’s and then again in 2017. Juanita felt that not much has changed, within the justice system, it is still not a good experience. What helped her was the unconditional love she got from pets, and telling someone with the same sort of history helped. You can contact her on Email: juanitmil@aol...
Oct 01, 2023•22 min•Season 4Ep. 32
All too often as survivors we find ourselves justifying what happened, over explaining, compensating, rationalising and defending our position. Stop doing that. We don't owe anything to anyone, the abusers are the ones that should be doing this. Its important to realise our over explaining is just our wounded child needing validation, and we need to hold our heads up high and hold our power. Go to our website (see below) for more information on our foundation If you are looking for coaching whet...
Sep 26, 2023•5 min
Survivors: Sometimes we have an intention or a wish to have certain things experienced. We put it out there and hope it will happen. BUT: Then we get really busy, scrambling to MAKE it happen. STOP!! Get out of your own way. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #handingtheshameback #handsign4kids #childhoodsexualabuse #survivorofsexualabuse #survivorsuppor...
Sep 24, 2023•2 min•Season 5Ep. 28
Survivor, advocate, Traditional Chinese Medicine Practitioner 'After decades, a NZ woman reveals her explosive escape from the SRA cult she was meant to lead'. This is Phillippa's story. She was abused by her grandfather from when she was a baby and then subsequently over the years. He had trained her father to be a perpetrator as well, and her mother was complicit in the abuse, as was controlled by the cult her grandfather belonged to. You can reach out to Phillippa at email: phillippa@clearqia...
Sep 21, 2023•1 hr 2 min•Season 4Ep. 31
Survivors Seeing your Abuser This provides insight into responses triggered by seeing your abuser unexpectedly. Your behaviour may surprise you, especially if they were not charged, or just got away with what they did. Please, if you don't know what to do: do nothing! That way you cant look back in time to come, and regret your actions. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handing...
Sep 17, 2023•2 min•Season 5Ep. 27
Meet Rehann Handford, Dad. Survivor. and Mens Mental Health Advocate. He was sexually Abused between 7 and 12 years of age by a male family friend around 5 years older than he was. Unsurprisingly, this impacted Reehan's entire life. He believes that it is ok to not be ok, and to allow yourself to work through that. When he finally shared the truth of his abuse with someone, he walked out of that office feeling so light, he almost felt like a feather. You can reach out to Rehann on email: essenti...
Sep 14, 2023•45 min•Season 4Ep. 30
Monthly Tips for those of you Supporting survivors. Sometimes your survivor telling their story to people who struggle with cognitive dissonance, can be counterproductive, as they end up feeling not believed or that it is a personal slight on them. Please do remind them that people do the best they can with what they know, and that for some, child sexual abuse is too much to handle, so may be easier for your survivor to stop putting themselves through it by trying to share with those people! Fee...
Sep 12, 2023•2 min
Survivors We need to look for the positives in our lives. We sometimes default to existing in our trauma responses, and being careful, cautious and over anxious. Lets instead start to look for what is going right. The old saying what we give our attention to grows is true. Gratitude works. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #childhoodsexualabuse #survivo...
Sep 10, 2023•2 min•Season 5Ep. 26
Meet Rachel Vaughan Abused from when she was a toddler, what Rachel has been through is unimaginable. This brave survivor says that speaking out has helped her enormously, as has writing and having the support of her siblings. She is determined that this abuse will not ruin her life, and says speaking with other survivors, speaking publicly about her abuse, and therefore helping others to deal with their trauma - turning a negative into a positive has also been incredible. What also helped was p...
Sep 07, 2023•47 min•Season 4Ep. 29
Survivors Cognitive Dissonance Describes the mental discomfort people feel when their beliefs clash with reality. With CSA they want to believe that people are good and children are safe. When confronted with your story, it messes with their minds and leaves them conflicted. This translates to you not being validated the way you had hoped. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.hand...
Sep 03, 2023•2 min•Season 5Ep. 25
