Happy 2nd Podcast-aversary to us! To celebrate, we invited thespian, power lifter, and Stephen King fan, Wendy Brown, to the pod! She's not a psychotic, deranged, ax-wielding fan. She just plays one on stage... Other discussion topics may include: - Kevin Costner's forgotten weightlifting movie - Fart Thrower, The Occasional Blow, and other ineffective superheroes - The best chicken and dog impressions you're likely to hear all hour - What is your favorite animated kids' Stephen King movie? - Th...
Sep 13, 2022•57 min•Ep. 102
101 episodes in, and we're still finishing each other's complexly Oedipal eructions. Other discussion topics may include: - Video game farming, fishing, and dog bonding - Human intervention's effect on elements of nature, such as microphones - Who would you want to play your father in a basic cable mystery comedy? - A deep discourse on chairs and their occasional unchairness - The disappointment of "The Garbage Plate"
Sep 06, 2022•53 min•Ep. 101
CONGRATULATIONS TO US ON 100 INANE, EDIFYING, SCATOLOGICAL, SESQUIPEDALIAN EPISODES OF GOING TERRIBLY! To celebrate, we invited our first virtual guest! Doug's old friend and Actual Famous Person™, Jonathan Pretus , of the podcast Ranking the Beatles, the cover band Big in the 90s, and co-composer of "The Girls are Back in Town" performed by Chapel Hart on America's Got Talent ! Get ready for some fun Beatles-themed games and top-notch Bri-ish accents. Other discussion topics may include: - Just...
Aug 30, 2022•1 hr 34 min•Ep. 100
This is the episode in which we talk about grooming. Whichever kind you're thinking of, it's probably that. Other discussion topics may include: - Real fantasy lands and the imaginary authors who wrote about them - Is it ever okay to throw your virility in someone's face? So to speak. - The word "nefarious" is used a lot. Perhaps a nefarious amount. So if you like the word "nefarious" you should be happy about how often you hear "nefarious" in this episode - Precocious children and vulgar grandm...
Aug 23, 2022•37 min•Ep. 99
Doug has never taken to the skies, so he thought that the way Baggage Claims are depicted in media was just abbreviated versions of a meticulous real-life process of matching each individual passenger's claim check with their rightful bags. But no. It's all a lawless free-for-all, and any sociopath can just walk in and take a bag off the carousel just because they could. Other discussion topics may include: - A failed modern day comparison to Les Miserables - Stephen King's most underrated novel...
Aug 16, 2022•50 min•Ep. 98
Everyone knows peanuts aren't nuts, but did you know that strawberries, blackberries, and raspberries are not berries? Get ready to learn so much in this episode, y'all. Other discussion topics may include: - Nobody has ever seen George W. Bush and Jimmy Stewart in the same place at the same time. Coincidence? - Sneaking zucchinis and tangenting off to nuts (relax, neither is dirty...this time) - How professor Winkerbottom has scammed his way into a lifetime of sciencing - All about unicorns, bo...
Aug 09, 2022•43 min•Ep. 97
We’ve got a Sam’s Club-sized It Went Terribly this week! Here are some Member's Mark alternative titles: Two Juicy Fingers in a Hot Brown Two Two-Tailed Mermaids in a Deep-Diving Treasure Hunt for Meat Two Bird Humans in a Sweet Little Lie Two Different Colored Eyes in a Coroner Two Stirrups, Anvils, and Hammers in a Box of French-Canadian Toast Crunch Two Vertical Gestures in a Follicular Calendar Two Amish Wedding Rings in a Futuristic Past Two Elaborate Mustaches in an Old, Brown Starbucks Lo...
Aug 02, 2022•57 min•Ep. 96
What important life skills did you learn as a kid? How to tie your shoes? Wipe your ass? Actually call a store on the telephone to dispute their return policy? Gracious, how soft we've become... Other discussion topics may include: - Practical joking (and possibly inappropriate) priests - Learning Jason Statham life facts, but not knowing any of his movies - An accidental exploration of the great Kris Kristofferson. Or at least his name. - Celebrations of Nick at Nite, boy bands, and, believe it...
Jul 26, 2022•43 min•Ep. 95
Take your codeine and oxycontin, and rev up your entrepreneurial spirit cuz there are some new coffee brands and old, YA-inspired bands that need representation! Other discussion topics may include: - The heroic, caffeine-charged sea tales of Ishmael Starbuck - Do you have a problem heating cute things in the microwave? - The story of Snape, the first simp - Which Beatle would *you* dip in chocolate? - Why a bridge is the hardest place to lip sync...
Jul 19, 2022•54 min•Ep. 94
It's almost time for Nation Alice Cream Day! So warm up your tongues and spoons and say, "Not today, lactose intolerance!" cuz we're doing our annual 10-stop ice cream crawl this Sunday, and WE'LL PROBABLY SEE YOU AROUND. Other discussion topics may include: - A thoughtful examination of childhood stereotypes, from the skinny kid to the fat kid to the kid who lives dangerously by "climbing on rocks" - From milk bread to suicide forests, the briefest Japanese history lesson of all-time - Has your...
Jul 12, 2022•51 min•Ep. 93
It's Christmas in July, and we have a 1776-sized It Went Terribly for ya that answers those deep, hard-hitting questions like, "Why are there so many names for White Elephant gift exchanges?" and "Who the hell is still naming a baby, Dick?" Other discussion topics may include: - A recap of last week's episode of "How to Get Away with Your Mother" - Are refrigerators the cell phones of tomorrow? Possibly - Dry rubs, but not the dirty kind - Calendar umbrellas, umbrella calendars, and all the dumb...
Jul 05, 2022•41 min•Ep. 92
Have you been playing Redactle? It's a totally addictive, eye-crossing, headache-inducing, time-consuming, word-nerd-centric daily game in the style of Wordle. It'll ruin your life. And you'll like it. Other discussion topics may include: - How do the "bases" in romantic relationships work? - A proposal for a possible Going Terribly at-home board game - Would you ride a rollercoaster if it would save your mother's life? - Surgical fanny packs - The misuse of childhood toys and games (don't be gr...
Jun 28, 2022•41 min•Ep. 92
The bidet hath arrived. Other discussion topics may include: - The superiority of airplane pretzels over regular, land-bound pretzels - Did Phil Collins write a song about a suicide pact? - Going nuts to butts to read mediocre student essays - Was there a better Hollywood twosome than Burt Reynolds and Cooter Snatch? - Spring breakers vs. the Mormon Church: A battle for the ages
Jun 21, 2022•30 min•Ep. 90
Are you a fan of perfectly chilled salads and crisp, minimalist design? Well, then this show is for you! Recurring character, IKEA virgin, newly glutinous (and gluttonous), self-activating robot, Josh Weiland, comes back on the pod as we plan our trip to St. Louis for All Elite Wrestling’s Dynamite! Yes, yes, we’re all thinking it. Wrestling is Life. Other discussion topics may include: - An official, irrefutable list of the worst news one can receive - A PSA to everyone: If you go to medical sc...
Jun 14, 2022•56 min•Ep. 89
This is the episode of vendettas. We rail against juniors (namesakes...not secondary school teens), U2 (an unsolicited favor is no favor), and lionized canons. Or canonized lions. Dead white guys and their dumb sayings basically. Other discussion topics may include: - A ton of celebrity birthdays! And some of them are real! - Why Danielle Steel is a better author than Ernest Hemingway - Self flagellation vs. Self flatulation - Bubbles, squeaks, and other sounds from an Irish kitchen - Is it okay...
Jun 07, 2022•43 min•Ep. 88
Welcome to Hella Burgers! We are joined this week by DRK WTR keyboardist Alexander Hellenberg! AKA Ajax AKA The Myth AKA The Man Behind the Curtain. So brush up on your Florida Man news because we've got GAMES. Other discussion topics may include: - A preview of the hot new summer drama "Parkview Palace Place" - The legalities of aerial moose poop - Igneous Rock vs. Igneous Pop: A musical feud for the ages - Could God convince you to become vegetarian? What about a plane crash? Or, like, some cr...
May 31, 2022•1 hr 25 min•Ep. 87
Mr. and Ms. Lonely Hearts regale you with tales of solo dining – both embarrassing and triumphant. Alice gets kudos for being an excellent parallel parker, and Doug...ALSO gets kudos...for having a wang large enough to knock over a Great Dane. Other discussion topics may include: - Friends who don't like hot chocolate. Or love. - The world is currently out of apples and we just now noticed. - The deliciousness of a good old fashioned Irish potato mash fried - Fitting in spots you shouldn't. (Heh...
May 24, 2022•45 min•Ep. 86
Would you lick a ranch-flavored diamond? Would you risk a concussion for some sweet, sweet frozen yogurt? Would you try that funny but ultimately debunked post-mortem meme prank of eating a bunch of unpopped popcorn kernels before you die so that when you go into the crematorium, your body will erupt in a mound of fluffy popcorn? If you would, then you're our people. Thanks for listening. Other discussion topics may include: - What if all the people who service you could hear all your grievances...
May 17, 2022•52 min•Ep. 85
Have we, as a collective nation, forgiven John Wilkes Booth for shooting Andrew Lincoln yet? Or U2 for forcibly stuffing our music libraries with Songs of Innocence ? Or people in general for using the word acronym when they actually mean abbreviation? All this and more... Other discussion topics may include: - Baltimore Oreos vs. New York Twinkies: What's your favorite baseball dessert? - Why older people are so much easier to handle when they're good and liquored up - How soon is too soon to m...
May 10, 2022•37 min•Ep. 84
Is there ever a good way to break up with your hair stylist? What exactly are microblading and microthreading all about? Is it possible to "lift" someone else's fingerprints with Scotch tape and plant them at a crime scene? Leave us a voice mail if you know the answers to any of these questions. Other discussion topics may include: - Human life before world-changing technologies like automobiles, television, and towel tablets - One-sixteenth of a 14-ingredient Belgian waffle recipe - Penises, an...
May 03, 2022•47 min•Ep. 83
This week's episode is *suspenseful* y'all. What's in the tub? WHAT'S IN THE TUB?! Where's Alice's hair part going next?! And is Stonehenge a wheel? All this hot goss and more!!! Other discussion topics may include: - What is a "nutty" flavor? Is it, ya know...dirty? - 16-wheeled 18-wheelers - Full Moon Saloon: werewolf bar or gay bar? - The best ways to make mutant babies - Seriously, though, what DOES the fox say? Is it "Woot?"
Apr 26, 2022•44 min•Ep. 82
There are so many random, niche holidays today. You're gonna wanna celebrate lima beans, mom's spaghetti, and foreskin. Just let it all hang out. Other discussion topics may include: - The deep conspiracy involving microphone bias - A grassroots campaign to adorn old statues with jean shorts - Podcast popularity within the dairy free community - Age appropriate mooning - What's your favorite kind of nut punch?
Apr 19, 2022•40 min•Ep. 81
It's not April, everyone. Someone broke into your house and hacked into your Cloud and set all your clocks and digital devices back one month. Now you have all this extra time to accomplish what you've really needed to... Listen to our all singin', all dancin', April Fool's guest takeover on The Center Cut podcast where Michael and Dave watched a 30-minute, context-free chunk of classic musical "Singin' in the Rain" WITHOUT SOUND and had us quiz them on ladies' fashions, ladder seduction 101, an...
Apr 05, 2022•42 min•Ep. 79
Alice gets her chompers polished, and Doug relives the trauma that is Homecoming Spirit Week. Semi-Recent Semi-Decent News makes an entrepreneurial return, and SOMEBODY DIES. Other discussion topics may include: - What does space cola taste like? Cookies and cream? Cough syrup? Bunny rabbits? - A tribute to those killed in the 1970s, such as President "Honest" Andrew Lincoln - What is your favorite flavor of shoe polish? - How to tell if your dentist knows too much about you - Guess how many bea...
Mar 29, 2022•47 min•Ep. 78
GFDF*† Josh Weiland comes on the pod and cheats at all the games. Other discussion topics may include: - The unexpected pride of being a nimrod - A glimpse into Hitler's eighth birthday - Words people don't like, such as "moist," "panties," and "Hoobastank" - How to go down with integrity. So to speak. - Comparing alcohol to slurpees so a 5-year old can understand its deliciousness *Gluten Free Dairy Free †God F***ing Damn F***ing...
Mar 22, 2022•1 hr•Ep. 77
Get ready for the hottest of takes in this episode. Should cursive still be taught in schools? Is tofu actually flavorless? Has there ever been a less appropriately named food than "Fun Size" candy bars? Other discussion topics may include: - Why encyclopedias from the 1950s will teach us everything we'll ever need to know - The Adventures of Brock Johnson and Cooter Wang - Why air fryers are better than your favorite appliance or child - The importance and impossibility of prescience - Endorsin...
Mar 15, 2022•46 min•Ep. 76
Podcasters, filmmakers, and w'hores for s'mores, Emily Durchholz and Jake Bilinski, join us for our big, fat 75th episode in celebration of Valentine's Day (belated), International Women's Day, and most importantly, James Van Der Beek's 45th birthday! Here are some highlights: 09:07 Shattering the Glass Ceiling! 23:10 "Heard It in a Doug Song" -- a delightful name-that-tune game! 43:40 Jake and Emily's Podcasting & Filmmaking Adventures! 1:00:15 "Know Your VDs" -- a delightful word-nerd game...
Mar 08, 2022•1 hr 44 min•Ep. 75
Is your blood haunted? Do you need to exorcise some of that pesky, intransigent blood? Try bloodletting! It's the newest scientific craze! Lots of It Went Terriblys to unpack here at the beginning of March. We learn about leeches, barbers, leeching barbers, and Pat Sajak's intolerably difficult day-job. And we make at least three really great food puns. You'll wanna stick around for those. Other discussion topics may include: - Fruit cutting-related childhood trauma - Would you like to be a mamm...
Mar 01, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 74
Apparently, lots of internet people are up in arms about not using toilet paper anymore. Bidets are the big hygienic thing. But wouldn't that change everything about you as a human being? Are you ready to take such a step? Other discussion topics may include: - How far inside the hole do you clean? - The most spot-on Ray Romano impression you will ever hear in your life - How to tell if you're a real man. Or a serial killer. - Shower wine and other classy, sophisticated things - Pooping in stran...
Feb 22, 2022•48 min•Ep. 73
Have we told you philately that we love you? See, philately means stamp collecting, so it's like we're sending you old-fashioned correspondence. Through your ear holes. That's like, aurilexisynchronicity, maaaan. Other discussion topics may include: - The best and worst ways to ingest summer sausage - Fantasy sports, or grown men pretending they own other grown men - Which side of your genitals do you part your hair on? - The unreasonably high price of prescription medication. And stamps. - A re...
Feb 15, 2022•39 min•Ep. 72
