It's a short but hella satisfying episode this week cuz all of winter came crashing down on us last week. This past week. Whatever. You know what we mean. And if you want to listen to Alice talk in a high, childlike voice for four hours, order her first Big 5 Publisher audiobook here! https://www.audible.com/pd/Maizy-Chens-Last-Chance-Audiobook/0593505743?ref=a_typ_c1_lProduct_0_1&pf_rd_p=9161e73b-1da4-4835-9d0a-6e130501757a&pf_rd_r=J4SDC55RDHRD1N1C43YM Other discussion topics may includ...
Feb 08, 2022•30 min•Ep. 71
This week's episode boasts a JUMBO-SIZED It Went Terribly, so let's share some alternative episode titles: Two Dutch Rudders in a Media Frenzy Two Nips, Ands, & Butts in a Controversial Biology/Art Exhibit Two Indefinite Hyphens in a Dave Matthews-esque Extended Jam Two Celebrated Jumping Frogs in a Clean and Clear Morning Burst Two Animals with Beaks in a Workplace Comedy Two Small, Furry Rodents in a Scabby Ear Two Loose Vowels in a Communion Punch Line Two Bursting Beads in a Snotty Sneez...
Feb 01, 2022•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 70
You ever wonder how sex would be for people of wildly varying heights? Like if Kristin Chenoweth and Yao Ming got into some polyamorous sixty-nining, will their heads and genitals still line up? I guess anything can happen. Imagine the possibilities. He shoots; she scores (like a musical score)? Heh, heh, sixty-nine... Other discussion topics may include: - The good, the bad, and the awkward of recent reunions - The Adventures of Creamy Ronnie and the Throat Goat - Riverdale, humpback whales, an...
Jan 25, 2022•45 min•Ep. 69
Thank Doug for Being a Friend! It's Doug's birthday episode, and since yesterday was what would have been Betty White's 100th birthday, Alice devised a saucy gauntlet of Golden Girls-themed games for Doug's Ruby Jubilee (40th birthday)! Hands get cocked. Feet almost get measured. Danger comes quickly. It's a blast. Please also tune in Saturday 1/22 and play Jackbox with us on our celebratory video game livestream at www.unfinisheddynamos.com! Other discussion topics may include: - Popular southe...
Jan 18, 2022•59 min•Ep. 68
Alfredo goes to the vet, gets addicted to teabagging, and narrowly avoids being dressed up as a mime, a gondolier, a zebra, a referee -- basically anything black and white with a pop of red -- because all black cats look the same *GASP* Oh, and tomorrow is National Kiss a Ginger Day, so you know, don't. Other discussion topics may include: - When should you take medicine, and when should you just accept that death is inevitable? - Desk chair acrobatics, starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson - Movie...
Jan 11, 2022•47 min•Ep. 67
Swinging the pendulum from sacred to profane, as is our wont, this episode runs the gamut from existential crisis born of bicycle thievery...to matter-of-fact categorizing of unfortunate skin conditions, such as furuncles, boils, wart, and corns. Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy year. Other discussion topics may include: - Pearl Jams, epileptic orgasms, and other sex stuff - The ongoing adventures of Allen Wrench, P.I. - A lesson in distinguishing between "raspberrying" and "motor...
Jan 04, 2022•57 min•Ep. 66
It's been a long December, and there's reason to believe...maybe this *something-that-rhymes-with-"round bouncing ball of marsupials"* will be better than the last. Candi and Jason Vincent, of Pranksgiving 2020 fame, are up in the canyons for our *something-that-rhymes-with-"ghost's-occupation"* episode, and GAMES are afoot! Or anose. Or akidney stone. Something Operation-related. Other discussion topics may include: - The sudden realization that you have an IMDB page - Washing the hair of a TV ...
Dec 28, 2021•1 hr 20 min•Ep. 65
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, which means guests! games! ... and gas? Let our leading extra, Gennie Adams, jingle your bells with baking stories (both weed and culinary), OnlyFans ASMR, and the filthiest anagrams known to Baby Jesus. Other conversation topics may include: - How to feign interest in what your podcast co-host is saying - What is the world's hottest food? Spoiler: It's a pot pie - Telepathically summoning children, and other Santa Claus creepiness - Erectile dysfunct...
Dec 21, 2021•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 64
Let's get intimate, shall we? Are you a rowdy sleeper and wake up with limbs all akimbo and pillows strewn all over the bed and whole asscrack hanging out, like Doug? Or are you a vampire and sleep on your back with your arms crossed on your chest and wake your partner up by laughing in your sleep, like Alice (and Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine-Nine)? Tune in for further fascinating discussions on lucid dreaming, night demons, and bed head. (Is "bedhead" one word or two? Do they mean different ...
Dec 14, 2021•49 min•Ep. 63
DISCLAIMER: Listening to this podcast and/or interacting with its social media accounts may produce feelings of euphoria, existential mania, and incurable shame-pride. Recent studies show that it may also cause impotence, stupidity, loss of imagination, and general human difficulty. It is not a substitute for regular medical visits, social interaction, and legitimate educational pursuits. Other discussion topics may include: - The unexpected time suck that is Family Feud's customization options ...
Dec 07, 2021•52 min•Ep. 62
It's almost Alice and Doug's anniversary of the couplins. AND WHY DOES AUTOCORRECT REFUSE TO LET ME SPELL IT THAT WAY?!?!?! Anyway, they'll celebrate with some high art and low balls and of course, swordfuls of meat brought to their table at regular intervals. Other discussion topics may include: - The pure art and sheer brilliance of a sideways urinal - How pockets should be far more respected in modern society (stop making fun of cargo shorts) - The fascinating link between Mark Twain, Halley'...
Nov 30, 2021•37 min•Ep. 61
Have you ever served on a jury? Do you know anyone who has? What about in a restaurant test market or a Gallup poll or the survey of 100 people on Family Feud? Does anyone know anybody who's ever responded to any allegedly significant public opinion research ever? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE WHO HOLD OUR LIVES IN THEIR HANDS?!?!?! Alice was rejected for Jury Duty again, and Doug unearths a conspiracy about false celebrity birthdays. WE'RE ALL STUCK IN A SIMULATION!!!! Other discussion topics may includ...
Nov 23, 2021•44 min•Ep. 60
If all of our episode titles didn't have to strictly follow (split infinitive FTW!) the "Two Peas in a Pod" format, we'd call this one "In Loaf and Breadsketball." Get cozy as we riff on dough balls, the NRA (the NBA one), and the etymological legacy of Hitler's Germany. Other discussion topics may include: - A well bred breadth of breaded bread - The professional wrestling legacy of Millard Fillmore - How to correctly and incorrectly pronounced a lot of words...though you'll have to figure out ...
Nov 16, 2021•40 min•Ep. 59
To Alice on Her 37th Birthday... That movie allusion FINALLY makes sense! Other discussion topics may include: - Listen, it's Alice's birthday. You don't need any other reasons to listen to this episode. It's her freaking birthday. Be a pal and listen. She's pretty awesome. [This shameless plea brought to you by Doug, Intern Sean, and Alfredo]
Nov 09, 2021•58 min•Ep. 58
It's November, and you know what that means. It's the season of food and togetherness, paranoid Covid scares, reinforcing of gender roles, and figuring out once and for all, what the heck happened to that guy from Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. You know, that lead singer guy. Other discussion topics may include: - NPR vs. Australia: The Great War of 2020 - A celebration of the world's #2 #2 museum - The joy of an artificially purple dog and the concern over a naturally purple dog - Fantasy bask...
Nov 02, 2021•56 min•Ep. 57
Halloween is upon us, and so is Kevin Roach. BOOM. Alternative title ideas for this episode: Three Zombie Abe Lincolns in a Body Swap Killer Movie Three Buttcheeks in a One Nightstand Three Freshly Graduated High Schoolers in a Squid Pro Quo Game Three Pigeon-Livered Wagtails in a Sentient Meatloaf Three Door-to-Door Knife Salesmen in a Cheesy Commercial about Saving on Your Electric Bill Frightening, right? Other discussion topics may include: - Virgin sacrifices - Jarred up brains - Chainsaws ...
Oct 26, 2021•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 56
Digital Dynamo Josh Weiland is back to plug our annual 24-Hour Extra Life livestream where we sit on our asses and play video games all day for charity! Doug also masterminded the most inscrutable word/phonetics game of all time, and we share our shoplifting stories. Come on. Everybody's got one. Or two in Alice's case... Other discussion topics may include: - Canada, Blu-Rays, and other made up commodities - What is YOUR moneymaker? Your face? Your butt? Your dirty, dirty digits? - Grand murder...
Oct 19, 2021•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 55
WE HAVE A GUEST! WE HAVE A GUEST! After 26 guest-less episodes, we reverse the curse with our most Royal King of the Food Court, the Emperor of Ice Cream, the Llama's Pajamas: ANDY JONES! Come learn about piezometric surfaces. It'll change your life. Other discussion topics may include: - Everything's bigger in Texas. Except the fungus. - An outright declaration of war on Charlie's Grandpa Joe - Nostalgic tales of the West Club Indiana Squirrel Nut Zippers Festival - Canadian friends: Are they e...
Oct 12, 2021•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 54
For the second greatest moment of synchronicity in Going Terribly history (the first being 16:08 in Episode 13), check out 23:06 in this here episode, which is dedicated to September ending, funky ones, and dookies. Other discussion topics may include: - Grocery store family dramas - The downfalls of lying to your bathroom scale - Ghost Writer vs. Wishbone vs. Lambchop: Which is which? Does anyone know?! - "Lick the bowl clean" is a really gross sounding phrase out of context - A history of Mark...
Oct 05, 2021•52 min•Ep. 53
Thursday is International Podcast Day, and this week's short but sweet episode is full of neato-torpedo audio-didactic trivia...like how the ancient Romans invented indie filmmaking and how Thomas Edison's first sound recording was actually an episode of King of the Hill . Other discussion topics may include: - An umbrella repurposing life hack that could change your world forever - Which birds are actually birds? - Detailed instructions on how to use Chapstick - What is the Romans' greatest inv...
Sep 28, 2021•41 min•Ep. 52
Aaarrr, ye scurvy bilge rats! Turn yar rudder to thy chosen auricular device, and harken to the dulcet tones of Rear Admiral Douglas Redbeard and Shen the Scaly Scaliwag, as they regale you with tales of wet cakes, venomous caterpillars, and male sirens of the 1990s and their acronymic legacy. 'Twill be the greatest seafarin' adventure of the Seven Realms! Oh, it's not International Talk Like a Pirate Day anymore? Well...booty. Other discussion topics may include: - How to manually empty out a d...
Sep 21, 2021•53 min•Ep. 51
Just a plain old average episode coming your way with no trivia games or milestone celebrations or surprise presents of any kind... Other discussion topics may include: - The desire to pee across the midwest. And Arizona. - Dropping lots of names, knowledge, and thunder - Toilet paper socks: not what you'd think...or exactly what you'd think? - How much would YOU pay to see 2011's best American restroom? - Gerard Depardieu eating a raw potato like an apple, or something like that...
Sep 14, 2021•48 min•Ep. 50
Rabbit Rabbit! It's the first episode of September, and boy, do we have some atoning to do. After making some not necessarily false but ultimately misinformed statements throughout August about the Lindbergh Baby, the Saved by the Bell revival, and the Morton Salt company (the very cheek, we know...), Doug and Alice guess at some celebrity ages, invent a new music-themed board game (Doo-wop-oly?), and catalog the extraordinarily prolific, birthday queen Diane Warren's entire discography. Did you...
Sep 07, 2021•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 49
You know what everybody loves? Summer camp. A week of open flame, peeing into troughs, and getting your first period out in the wilderness and not telling any of the camp counselors and just shoving toilet paper in your hoochie. Wet and hot indeed. Other discussion topics may include: - The best U.S. restrooms and the pilgrimages that must follow - "Communal Expelling": The grossest two-word combination ever? - Unnecessary possessivizing and the shame immediately after - The Pump House: Gas stat...
Aug 31, 2021•47 min
Today is Strange Music Day, so Alice and Doug will take you on a magical musical journey through upbeat songs with sad lyrics, the best genres of music to fight depression and facilitate pooping, how to torture someone with silence, how to torture someone with a theremin, and how to truly be metal. Like Amelia Earhart, who totally assassinated Thomas Edison. That patent-pending turd. Other discussion topics may include: - Martian tornadoes and how they're not quite as cool as they sound - "Hot t...
Aug 24, 2021•53 min•Ep. 47
Sometimes, you just gotta start out an episode by making juvenile fart noises with your hands. You certainly don't have to continue the rest of the episode like that, but what can we say, we're just gems like that. Other discussion topics may include: - How gymnastics can improve or infuriate your black cat - Gallagher's fruit smashing, brother suing journey into our hearts - Why you should be watching EPIX...from two people who've never seen EPIX - Which food would you want to bear your favorit...
Aug 17, 2021•56 min•Ep. 46
Going Terribly is a true crime podcast now. Doug watches a ton of Forensic Files , Disappeared , and Killer Couples (who knew?), and Alice was recently trapped in a car for 9 hours and listened to the entire first season of the Cold podcast (not against her will), so obviously, this whole episode is a grisly dramatization of Ashley Judd's 1999 film, Double Jeopardy . Other discussion topics may include: - How to found a college. Or, wait, that should say find. Or....hold on. Which one did we mea...
Aug 10, 2021•54 min•Ep. 45
August is upon us, which means National Ice Cream Month is over. Join Doug and Alice as they pick up the shards of their shattered existence by conquering their childhood fears of killer clowns, anxiety dreams, lyrical abstraction, catfishing scams, and sitting on one's nuts. Other discussion topics may include: - Incredibly beautiful songs about infidelity - Martha Stewart, hot pink buildings, and other pretty fine pieces - Boxers vs. Briefs: A New Debate - Terrifying movies, such as Beethoven ...
Aug 03, 2021•50 min•Ep. 44
Was the Lindbergh Baby ever found? Are the humanoid races from Lord of the Rings still considered "humans" like we're considered humans? Are Counting Crows lyrics actually deep, or are they only deceptively deep? And does "deceptively deep" mean something is shallower than it seems or deeper than it seems? (There IS a right answer to this...) All these questions and more in this episode where Doug and Alice show off how much they don't know about anything. Other discussion topics may include: - ...
Jul 27, 2021•51 min•Ep. 43
In this fast-paced episode, Alice and Doug go *bang zoom* straight to the moon and back with musings on Hogwarts houses, reality dating shows, and sex work destigmatization. Doug also creates some predictive text fortune cookies (in bed), and Alice intricately details the obscure, niche world of international collegiate muggle quidditch. Honestly, are any of those words even real? Other discussion topics may include: - Pink panthers, chocolate frogs, and Twix kittens - Sexy Beasts and Where to F...
Jul 20, 2021•54 min•Ep. 42
