You guys, this episode is adorable. Chock-full of puns, callbacks, and wholesomely embarrassing stories about Doug macing someone in the face and Alice almost drowning in a pool. Bonus Words With Nerds: Pronunciation Edition and a *Giveaway* entailing mac 'n cheese and nudie pics. Oh wait, adorable? I mean, deplorable... Other discussion topics may include: - Cats and the silent treatment: a lesson in futility - The impossibility and inevitability of having one's belt loop caught on a door handl...
Jul 13, 2021•47 min•Ep. 41
It's our 40th episode, and we simply MUST revisit the wiping debate again. After all, it (i.e., “going,” e.g., either #1 or #2) is the namesake of the podcast. Other discussion topics may include: - A celebration of Elena Cabins, the forgotten 1970s star - Spelling bee d-e-p-r-e-s-s-i-o-n - A blown up case of the Mandela Effect that might be full of hot air - The time William Shakespeare blatantly ripped off Roald Dahl - Do you REALLY need to wash your hands after you pee? No, I mean REALLY?...
Jul 06, 2021•46 min•Ep. 40
Once upon a Tuesday dreary, while I floundered, weak and weary, Over many a taint 3 oz or 5 oz poor — While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently crapping, crapping outside my chamber door. “’Tis dat Poe,” I muttered, “fapping at my chamber door— Only this and nothing more.” Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the hot June weather; And each complimentary oyster cracker wrought its crumb upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to b...
Jun 29, 2021•46 min•Ep. 39
A terribly adorable episode in which Alice and Doug talk about wholesomely themed parties, friendly insects, giant cozy blankies, nostalgic reality stars, and a wedding reception on Uranus. What? Other discussion topics may include: - A jacket full of Stovetop...misunderstanding or brilliant invention? - Competitive bouquet catching - Vanna White's spin-off series "Turning That D" - Are we all just characters inside childhood Alice's dream? - Just remember, folks. You wipe what you squeeze....
Jun 22, 2021•41 min•Ep. 38
How to describe this week's episode... It's intimately illuminating and oddly philosophical...yet also terribly irreverent and straight-up gross. What, that sounds like all our episodes? Yeah, I was afraid of that. All right, you know what? We're all adults. You can handle it. We talk about how we wipe, okay? Yeah. It's flipping fascinating. Other discussion topics may include: - How to fail at donating blood - The return of the menstrual cup - Blood trunks...which may or may not be poop related...
Jun 15, 2021•48 min•Ep. 37
The AC was out, so our brains were fried. This here synopsis is just a list of alternative titles for this short episode. Two Exquisite Corpses in a Google Egg of Easter Two Rare Conditions in a Hodgepodge of Properties Two Sesquipedalians in a Sasquatch Medallion Two Sliced Hens in a Horror Satire Two Google Egg Treats in a Feather-Plucking Plane Two Sassy Sidewinders in a Filled Dance Card Other discussion topics may include: - Hopefully not jinxing Betty White (and, again, hopefully not jinxi...
Jun 08, 2021•37 min•Ep. 36
The first episode of June gets a bit kinky -- what with the rotisserie chickens and feline anxiety medication and Do Not Resuscitate orders. We really do need to abide by Robert's Rules of Order if we're gonna experiment with robotic gerbils in the miniature wind-up sex dungeon on Noah's Ark. I mean, really. Other discussion topics may include: - How to properly tick off British women - An acknowledgement of polka instruments and racist cookware - Hepatitis types and other liver information - Th...
Jun 01, 2021•47 min•Ep. 35
It's time for the NBA Playoffs, and Doug has concocted a couple of peachy keen, basketbally games that Alice just...totally nutmegs...on... Am I using that right? There are also absolutely NO SPOILERS about a certain...face-obscured reality singing competition... Other discussion topics may include: - How to look like Winnie the Pooh while still being a great basketball player - A celebration of the mortality of (most of) the living U.S. Presidents - If you were a multi-millionaire, how much wou...
May 25, 2021•49 min•Ep. 34
Doug and Alice return to their scatological roots in this poopy yet educational episode. Sorry, not sorry. Other discussion topics may include: - An education on the most serious of vibrators - The legend of the Brooklyn Embryo - How to offend a genie - The Complete Game of Neil Patrick Harris Abridged - Defecation vs. Childbirth: An uneducated study of their similarities
May 18, 2021•50 min•Ep. 33
Alice and Doug toured some White Castles, In Macho Man gowns, caps, and tassels. They both flashed their V-cards, Sent beef down their innards, And spent all night clenching their a$$h***s. Last week, Doug and Alice #SetPfizersToStun and recovered by watching #LoveVaxually and making #LymphBiscuits. This week, they get free donuts and beer and write dirty limericks. Other discussion topics may include: - A tale of fowl and fleeting fame - Innards, outards, and other Barack Abominations - Risking...
May 11, 2021•51 min•Ep. 32
Its may the 4th. U know what that means. Doug and Alice celebrate better speech and langauge month by singing 'Pomps and Circumstance,' which is in the pubic domain. Who knew? Theres alot of It Went Terribly's and a big reveal about that 'this is your brian on drugs' marijauna commerical to. Other discussion topics may include: - How to accidentally(?) borrow heroin from your neighbor - V-checks, mortorboards, and other topical terms that sound filthier than they are - Donald Trump vs. China Cat...
May 04, 2021•48 min•Ep. 31
In honor of both Going Terribly's 30th episode AND National Tell a Story Day, Doug shares a lovely, traumatic children's book idea about a chicken who befriends a whale that'll make you weep, and Alice wonders if Kay Fabulous would be a good name for a character in that play about pro wrestling that she's never gonna write. Other discussion topics may include: - Calling ahead to ask about restrooms, just in case your nails won't work - Eighth grade accomplishments - Unbelievable then, unrealisti...
Apr 27, 2021•42 min•Ep. 30
It's 4/20, and Alice waxes poetic about White Castle's delightful munchies, and Doug definitely, absolutely, incontrovertibly DOES NOT wane at length about Steve Guttenberg and his entire cinematic catalog. Let's just say, it takes...more than two... There's also a chicken salad debate. If you know, you know. Other discussion topics may include: - Brains, Eggs, and Frying Pans: The Rachael Leigh Cook Story - Potential Familial Poltergeists and the Funky Bunch - Alaska's Hitchcockian wholesale ni...
Apr 20, 2021•56 min•Ep. 29
Henrietta Jones-Flaherty was an aspiring butter carvist in Evansville 1936. She gained accolades for her butter sculptures, but jealousy amongst insiders and vile ridicule slung by outsiders eventually caused her to suffer an emotional break. Her husband and mother-in-law soon deemed her unfit for society and boarded her up in the attic, with only dry macaroni for sustenance and a string and tin can phone for communication. Every other Tuesday, her children would go upstairs, and she would make ...
Apr 13, 2021•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 28
Alice almost but doesn't win a prestigious playwriting award, and Doug almost but doesn't legally change his name to the name of a food in order to get a lifetime supply of said food. YET. Other discussion topics may include: - How the Swedes turn trash into food made out of trash - Wives who are making obituaries fun again - The truth about red meat and chocolate being superior to spinach and other vegetables - Do you have a ghost? Or just a failing temple? - "Ravenous Periods," "Grape Soda Poo...
Apr 06, 2021•37 min•Ep. 27
It's time for a virtual vacation, so don't go anywhere! Just listen to Doug and Alice talk about strapping themselves into a sweaty VR headset to perform boring, everyday tasks such as kickboxing, flipping burgers, and chauffeuring creepy old men around town. Oh wait, that last one was real life. They should really make an Uber VR game. 5 out of 5 stars would recommend... Other discussion topics may include: - A possible confession to aiding and/or abetting in a drug deal - Which words for vagin...
Mar 30, 2021•51 min•Ep. 26
In honor of World Theatre Day on March 27, local thespians, Kevin Roach and Zachary Charlemagne Tieken, regale the dastardly duo with tales of on-stage fellatio (via fried fowl), on-stage intercourse (via goats [both the acronym and the animal]), and Verfremdungseffekt (via Brecht's alienation of the audience, duh). Other discussion topics may include: - Theatre-related injuries, such as nearly hanging one's self to death (and not in the fun way) - The smell of gasoline, not wearing a tie, and o...
Mar 23, 2021•1 hr 21 min•Ep. 25
It's Spring Break, bitches. Doug and Alice go out of town and get schwasted on Bosnian food and boozy ice cream, respectively. Then they return to discuss heady issues like hostile architecture against the homeless, moral imperatives of the vegan lifestyle, and how long before the Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson comes out with the People's Vaccine. Other discussion topics may include: - The crappy recycling of a conversation about a drink that recycles crap - What is the most money you've ever spent o...
Mar 16, 2021•53 min•Ep. 24
Welp. It has finally happened. Twenty-three episodes in, and Doug and Alice discuss whether or not they would actually eat human flesh. And not just eat any old human flesh, but like go to a niche (legal) restaurant and have a meal curated by a live human specimen who'll then carve off part of their own buttock or something. Other discussion topics may include: - A multitude of perfectly legal ways to dispose of a dead body - Touching dogs "down by the river" - Where do you put the head after a ...
Mar 09, 2021•50 min•Ep. 23
Here they come to wreck the day! Doug and Alice reflect on morality, art, and the sins of our forebears, and the crock that is chiropractic medicine, and toxic metals in baby food, and dear lord, is anything good anymore?! Other discussion topics may include: - The historical significance of Marie Antoinette's role in Alice in Wonderland - Exploring the differences between vaginal and clitoral sneezes - How to stay out of situations where your head might explode - There's something in the notes ...
Mar 02, 2021•42 min•Ep. 22
al1c3 and d0ug d1sh 4b0ut r3tr0 vid30 g4mes, s0r0r17y h4z1ng, s3xually 3xpl1c1t n0v3ls, ge771ng p13d 1n th3 fac3, and 0f c0urs3, murd3r-su1c1d3. Sever4l pl0ts 0f sever4l p0p cultur3 phen0men4 g3t sp0il3d, but h3y, d0n'7 b3 such a n00b. Y0u kn3w what y0u w3r3 ge771ng 1nt0 w1th th3s3 tw0 pwn3rs. w00t. Translation: Alice and Doug are terrible. What did you expect? Other discussion topics may include: - The Simpsons or Street Drugs: Which is better for your child? - A serious pitch for a society cha...
Feb 23, 2021•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 21
Have you decided what you're giving up for Lent? Milk? Bread? Warm weather? We are definitely not second-guessing Punxsutawney Phil today... Snowpocalypse is nigh, so cure your VD hangover with a little hair of the dog, and cuddle up with our good friend, first guest, top fan, and birthday boy, Josh Weiland! Gamemaster Doug has concocted a clean slate of dirty games, and Cat Whisperer Alice will attempt to keep Alfredo from mounting anyone's Bakula. Other discussion topics may include: - An inco...
Feb 16, 2021•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 20
She's a rare breed of unicorn, and he's in the business of misery. When Emily and Jake meet-cute at a recovery group for nose fetishists, sparks fly. But while they're engaging in pankkake and deciding whether GIFs are the ultimate love language, a sadistic ventriloquist and its doppelgänger capture them and make them sing the entire Moulin Rouge soundtrack together while replacing every instance of the word "love" with "Doug." Can their relationship survive such frisky ear violence, or will the...
Feb 09, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 19
Hello listener. This is your wake-up call. Every day of your working life, you have stumbled around like a zombie, listening to the same true crime podcasts you've consumed for the past decade. Now YOU are the cause of your own existential ennui. Your aim in this game is to check out Doug and Alice's podcast. You have...a lot of time to do it in. There are carefully curated social media accounts for you to follow too. When there's this much laughter, poop jokes, and highbrow tangents on the airw...
Feb 02, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 18
It's a great day for a great day. Alice talks loooong and hard about Dungeons, Dragons & Beyond -- yep, we're doing that kind of podcast now -- and Doug takes us on a side quest through the wonders of peanut brittle, green juice, and Jungle Jim's -- the biggest grocery store-cum-tourist attraction in the world. Yeah, we used the traditional, dictionary definition of cum, what of it? Other discussion topics may include: - How to properly orchestrate a draft for your fantasy marathon team - Th...
Jan 26, 2021•45 min•Ep. 17
Colors of the world, Doug up your life. Every boy and every girl, Doug up your life. People of the world, Doug up your life. aaaAAAHHH!!!! It's Doug's birthday episode, and Alice has prepared a raucous gauntlet of Spice Girls-themed games...for no reason at all. Other discussion topics may include: - How not to make a game show video game - The long awaited return of KÄKwords - Baby's Mad Doug Story Time - The lost art of sliming ostriches - Is underwater, immediately after nearly dying, part of...
Jan 19, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 16
Alice and Doug will return on Tuesday, January 19th for Doug's special birthday epic! But before that, for this second abbreviated edition of the show, they've handed the keys to the Going Terribly-mobile over to Intern Sean. Can he write a wildly comedic script that will have you doubling over in laughter as he has promised?* You'll have to listen to find out! *I mean, probably not, right? Dude has a hard time remembering to wear pants to work.
Jan 12, 2021•7 min
Alice and Doug are taking a little bitty two-week break and will return promptly on Tuesday, January 19th with a special episode for Doug's birthday! To hold you over, here is the first of two "Minisodes" (it means "mini episode" - we promise) where our two hosts will fill everyone in on what they'll be doing over the break.
Jan 05, 2021•5 min
Doug and Alice get a bit pensive for this retrospective (retrospectus?) episode by recounting the highlights and lowlights of 2020 (high: that one painting of a girl laughing at a painting of a butt; low: solipsistic fibrosis) that led to the very creation of Going Terribly -- ultimately discovering that things might not be going so terribly after all :) Alice even surprises Doug with a multiple choice New Year's movie quote game! Spoiler Alert: the D's are always dirty. Other discussion topics ...
Dec 29, 2020•59 min•Ep. 15
'Twas the episode before Christmas, when all through the sludge, Not a vulgarity was spared, not even a "fudge"; The mockings were flung around the leg lamp with glee, In hopes that our guest Wendy wouldn't turn tail and flee; The children jeered as they beat poop from a log, While visions of horse skulls danced in their nogs; And Douglas Fir in his walrus shirt, and I in my elf cap, Had just readied our colons for a long winter's crap; Then came Intern Sean, spilling cocoas with a splatter, We ...
Dec 22, 2020•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 14
