Dearest Going Terribly devotees, The coda of this pernicious solar revolution that threatened to never meet its quietus is finally nigh. A festive holiday denouement is upon us, and with it, comes grammarian pedantry, spectral flatulence, osculation via rosaceae, feline scatology, and a superannuated missive mission with a soupçon of thespian flair. Blessed be those who hearkened to our auricular meshugas this autumn eterne. May we remain ever your humble servants, Madam Aläis & Sir Dùghlas ...
Dec 15, 2020•51 min•Ep. 13
Like Roberto Esquivel Cabrera's American Girl Doll-sized penis, which is actually mostly foreskin, this episode of Going Terribly is mostly It Went Terribly. Let us regale you with tales of how Alice's second favorite band disappointed her and how giant penises have disappointed us all. Other discussion topics may include: - Law & Order butt plates - A breakdown of favorite time traveling movies and how Queen Elizabeth II was alive during them all - How Miss Piggy became the world's most fam...
Dec 08, 2020•1 hr 24 min•Ep. 12
On the heels of a wicked Pranksgiving hangover, Doug and Alice discuss gentler, milder topics such as feng shui, American Girl Dolls, tax-free groceries, local filmmakers, and the timeless tunes of Tom Jones. Really? Yeah, but no, not really. Other discussion topics may include: - Pent up Bible dudes - How to summon your pet Predator - When 32 inches is too small and when it's way too much - Cannibalistic restaurant mascots - Possible B&J regrets. And if that seemed dirty to you, read it aga...
Dec 01, 2020•43 min•Ep. 11
Release the Piecaken! It's Thanksgiving week, and Doug and Alice have crankstaken the shenanigans up to 11. Gird your sirloins for some long and uncomfortable ASMR, as well as a biblical digression about seed-spilling. Talk about Wanksgiving, amirite? Then tune into YouTube on Wednesday for Going Terribly's PRANKSGIVING VIDEO SPECIAL in which Doug and Alice take the best parts of Thanksgiving -- the food and the loved ones -- and add a dash of poonkin spice. Seven households (some more alike in ...
Nov 24, 2020•40 min•Ep. 10
In honor of Pranksgiving next week, Alice and Doug share their best, wholesome prank stories that may or may not involve knights, potatoes, grand larceny, douching, flaccidity, tickling, butterballs, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and fomentation of insurrection via social media. Other discussion topics may include: - Contact Death - Contact Death 2: Electric Deathaloo - Contact Death 3: Potato Storm - Contact Death 4: Moms Gone Wild - In retrospect, there should have been a fifth Contact Death instead ...
Nov 17, 2020•39 min•Ep. 9
On November 10, 1810, George Jennings, inventor of the first flush toilet, was born. On November 10, 2020, Alice Shen, co-host of Going Terribly, will probably wreck a flush toilet after eating a tortilla chip bedeviled with Carolina Reaper pepper, Scorpion Pepper, and Sichuan Peppercorn. Why? Cuz she's an utter abomination, and it's her birthday. That's why. Visit Chez Doug to learn about other questionable things that happened on this day in history, and then go to our socials to catch our fir...
Nov 10, 2020•48 min•Ep. 8
It's 90s week, and the floor is nostalgia! Alice confesses that she never finished reading Watership Down in the eighth grade, and Doug reveals that he prefers *NSYNC over Backstreet Boys. They talk picture books, past presidents, animated feature films, and that awkward Millennial stage of being intimidated by both young children and adultier adults. And guess who's back! Maddie (Alice and Doug's hypothetical foster cow) makes a reappearance to discuss the merits of Heifer International, a real...
Nov 03, 2020•49 min•Ep. 7
It is a dark and stormy night. A gravelly voiced man sits by the fire, eating a peanut butter sandwich... But not just ANY peanut butter sandwich --- a HONEY ROASTED peanut butter sandwich... But not just ANY honey roasted peanut butter sandwich --- a SENTIENT honey roasted peanut butter sandwich...on ARTISANAL BREAD!!! And it's screaming! THE NUTS ARE SCREAMING!!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAWIOUW*!*$)#$(!@#H$@%QTY#(UHHOIU. Alice and Doug welcome horror aficionado Kevin Roach for a bonus Ha...
Oct 30, 2020•1 hr 8 min
Double, Double, Boil and Trouble! Doug accidentally drinks shower water during a boil advisory. Alice nearly burns her house down while boiling a pot of water to sanitize her menstrual cup. They’re clearly not ready to manage their own Home Depot. Or murder the Scottish king, usurp the throne, and get these bloodstains out by Halloween. Other discussion topics may include: - Men, women, and their disparate associations with hoods - Christmas themed horror movies. With snakes. - How to use your p...
Oct 27, 2020•52 min•Ep. 6
The dastardly duo contemplate getting matching tattoos after a series of unfortunate events: Doug regrets investing in artisanal beads; Alice pines after an unattainable hurdy-gurdist in Winnipeg; they welcome Josh Weiland to the poo’dcast but somehow don’t make any 3-way jokes. There’s also legit information about the Extra Life gaming fundraiser to benefit Riley Hospital for Children. How about a tattoo commemorating 25 hours of non-stop gaming together. They’ll definitely...not want to rememb...
Oct 20, 2020•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 5
Alice has an existential crisis and considers a career change into the audiobook narration industry. Doug can’t remember when he last hugged someone, and it’s slowly murdering him. They finally learn what gluten is. This week’s episode gets real, y’all. Other discussion topics may include: - An examination of very important world records, such as cucumber eating - Vegan treats and the accidental ASMR that accompanies them - A celebration of their millions of listeners* - The anal retentiveness a...
Oct 13, 2020•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 4
On this episode of To Outsmuck a Smucker, Doug channels his best Orson Welles and reads a diary entry from The Uncrustables -- a neo-noir adapted from a gothic novel. Alice accompanies with some questionable impressions of Crustopher Walken and Jammy Stewart. They also decide to adopt a baby cow, name her Maddie, raise her for eighteen months, then take her out for ribs. Wait. Her ribs? Or just ribs? Other discussion topics may include: - Ice(landic s)cream therapy - See-through lavatories and o...
Oct 06, 2020•1 hr•Ep. 3
Doug expounds upon the social mores of pandemic dating and questions the role of unlimited chips and salsa in group dining situations. Alice confuses bukkake with bunraku (Japanese puppet theatre) and learns how to preheat and clean her lady-oven. And urine luck! There’s also a fan-sourced DJ contest for 11 WHOLE DOLLARS and a new segment called “It Went Terribly” where we fact-check the previous episode for inaccuracies, of which there are many… Other discussion topics may include: - Renting wa...
Sep 29, 2020•53 min•Ep. 2
In their premiere episode, Doug sings the praises of an environmentally-friendly feminine hygiene product and ponders the aerodynamics and moral turpitude of passengers on a hypothetical euthanasia coaster. Alice tosses a salad and debates what size knife is best for big kids at the pool. Other discussion topics may include: - A desire to wax, poetic and otherwise - The birth of a jingle - which is way less messy than human birth - Ebenezer Scrooge and other questionable impressions - The nutrit...
Sep 22, 2020•55 min•Ep. 1
Alice and Doug have a podcast. Here's a context-free minute of nonsense to prove they know how to speak into a microphone.
Sep 15, 2020•57 sec
