How many battles are you fighting without even being aware you’re in the arena? It might seem like everything is “fine”. Sure, you had struggles, some hard times and bad luck, and things that didn’t quite go your way. Many people have a story or two about the time they got fucked over BECAUSE they were doing the right thing. That boomerang can spin around and hit you when you least expect it, like it did for Tony Crescenzo. Tony grew up in a family of mechanics. Really, all the men in his family...
Jul 03, 2025•54 min•Ep. 195
Ever heard the phrase “may you live in interesting times?” Seems applicable these days. And it’s causing a lot of people to live with a constant feeling of anxiety that nags at you, sapping at your energy throughout the day, so by bedtime, you're exhausted but still can’t sleep. Financial stress is a primary source. According to an April 2025 survey, fewer than 45% of Americans say they’re in better than fair shape financially. Which means more than 50% are not ok. Well, there's a good chance th...
Jun 26, 2025•48 min•Ep. 194
If the self-help industry was actually effective, the world would be full of people in perfect health with boundless wealth, always succeeding at everything they set out to do. They'd have perfect relationships, be surrounded by nothing but love and harmony, and know the definition of paradise! The first time things seem a little off, you'd just buy one book, read it, and voila! You'd never need another book because the stars would align like some freaking celestial rapture put at your service p...
Jun 19, 2025•52 min•Ep. 193
Some people are just born with it. Whether it’s the intelligence you need to thrive, personality traits that make you likable – or your dad owning the company you grow up to become “Chief Servant Leader” of – we all have something going for us. Throughout the 192 (and counting) episodes of Fine Is a 4-Letter Word , I’ve covered stories of pain, struggle, perseverance, and salvation. One of my guests even went to prison for a murder she did not commit! Kevin Schnieders is one of those guys who, w...
Jun 12, 2025•51 min•Ep. 192
Time and again, as you go through nearly 200 episodes of Fine Is a 4-Letter Word , you'll find stories from guests who found themselves disconnected from what's supposed to be a connected world. Your circle of close friends you see all the time - your "besties"? Go back two years and tell me how many of them are the same people. Your avid following on social media who hang on your every post? Delete your account and I bet maybe two of them even try to reach out somewhere else. Sometimes being di...
Jun 05, 2025•46 min•Ep. 191
Being an outsider can be challenging – but it can also be your absolute superpower! We all come into the world as a blank slate with the opportunity to form and grow organically. Taking in the world as you find it before being tethered to a rigid or strongly defined set of predetermined beliefs set for you by others. John Morris started out that way too, but unlike most people, he never took on the opinions of others. He began questioning fear-based systems, trusting inner knowing, and seeing th...
May 29, 2025•45 min•Ep. 190
Have you been moving through life feeling like there’s something else out there? You can’t put your finger on it. Even though nothing outwardly seems off, there’s more to the story than you’ve been told or that you can see. Something’s not adding up, but how do you make 2+2=4? For Jill Valdez, this crept up on her in a hundred small ways. Although she went through some experiences that were far less traumatic for her than they are for others – there was always something else behind door #1. Born...
May 22, 2025•46 min•Ep. 189
What if… one of your core values that should be empowering turned out to be something that held you back? It’s meant to build confidence to try things. But it becomes a sort of low-key vicious cycle that subconsciously holds you back and curbs your ability to change. That silent boomerang would be ironic for a professional change agent, but that same boomerang has been both catalyst and inhibitor of Suzanne Hopson’s story. Growing up, Suzanne was taught, to quote her exact words as she said them...
May 15, 2025•44 min•Ep. 188
So, you think you have it all. A great career, a nice apartment, an 800 credit score. You're officially a grown-up with the adult job. The world looks at you and says, "wow, everything's going your way". It seems like everything's fine. What else could you ask for? But it's not fine. You look around and know something's missing. Maybe you mutter some four-letter words - "fine" is a 4-letter word, after all. Something's telling you there's a lot more out there. Maybe your grown-up life is stoppin...
May 08, 2025•43 min•Ep. 187
Have you ever found yourself spending a crazy amount of time and energy trying to figure out why things happen in life? Wondering what you did to attract it? Desperately seeking answers right now, and coming up frustrated when you can't make sense of it. But what if the whole plan is like a puzzle that doesn't form a picture until you've been given most of the pieces and taken the time to make them fit? You'll look back one day and see how it all comes together. You could say Flip Brown has gone...
May 01, 2025•47 min•Ep. 186
We’ve been conditioned to believe that rest is optional—like guacamole on your burrito. You can have it, but you’ll have to pay extra. Let’s zoom out for a second and look at where this belief came from. The hustle mindset didn’t just show up one day because Gary Vee started yelling about it. It’s deeply rooted in industrial-age values—when your productivity on the factory line was literally tied to your worth and your wages. The more you produced, the more valuable you were. Full stop. Then cam...
Apr 10, 2025•27 min•Ep. 185
In his 2023 report "Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation", the US Surgeon General at the time, Dr. Vivek Murthy, declared loneliness and social isolation a public health epidemic. Aside from feelings of ennui and lacking support structure, loneliness can trigger or increase the risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and even premature death! So, while he doesn’t quite come out and say it, and he might not have been thinking exactly along those terms when I spo...
Apr 03, 2025•46 min•Ep. 184
Perfectionism is something that gets beat into a lot of us. Sometimes literally , as you’ll find out from my guest. Imposter syndrome goes hand-in-hand with perfectionism. You see, when you’re programmed to hold yourself to extremely high standards, nothing you do seems like it’s good enough. You’re not enough. And what if someone finds out? Now imagine you got ripped off by not one – but two – business partners, and lost all your savings more than once. On top of that, you never graduated colle...
Mar 27, 2025•53 min•Ep. 183
Do you sometimes feel like you’re mailing it in? Sure, you’re achieving your goals, hitting your numbers, and getting boxes checked on your to-do list. On paper, you’re a success. But it still feels empty, like something’s missing and you’re not really succeeding. How do you know for sure? Who’s there to help you figure it out? And what example are you setting for those who see you as a role model, even if you don’t know they look up to you? These are questions Suresh Bhagchandani found himself ...
Mar 20, 2025•47 min•Ep. 182
Battered Woman Syndrome is a commonly misunderstood condition that results from domestic or intimate partner violence. Maybe you’ve known someone in such a situation. Or you’ve at least heard stories about it. And you’ve probably thought, Why do you stay there and take it? Why don’t you leave? There are support networks and shelters who can take you in, why not just go? And wondered, What drives you to try to “fix” the situation and have understanding for your abuser? Why do you act like you owe...
Mar 13, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 181
Does it sometimes feel like no good deed goes unpunished? What if I told you that no scandal, setback, or stumbling block goes unrewarded, if you’re willing to take the time to solve the puzzle? As a puzzle-solver programmed to challenge the status quo, ask questions, and lean into her natural curiosity, Kristy Busija (BYOO-SEE-YA) learned both of these lessons when she got fired for doing the right thing. Growing up, Kristy’s parents instilled classic values – have a good work ethic, act with i...
Mar 06, 2025•41 min•Ep. 180
Situations involving stalking can be a gray area. Does the person mean well but are just awkward in their approach? Are you reading too much into it? Let’s not jump to conclusions and end up smearing an innocent person. We should give the benefit of a doubt until we have our facts straight. All of these are very natural impulses, rooted in solid values that generally speaking serve us well. And they could have cost Idy Marcus dearly. Idy was raised in a very loving home by parents who married an...
Feb 27, 2025•57 min•Ep. 179
Tomorrow, February 14th, is Valentine’s Day. For some, it’s a joyous celebration of our connection with our spouse, companion, partner, and loved one. For others, it raises questions about why we need a holiday to mark something that’s central to our life and our True North. And there are those for whom it’s a source of grief or pain for various reasons – lack of a life partner, hurt over losing a life partner, or disillusionment over not having found a life partner. But you know what we don’t t...
Feb 13, 2025•20 min•Ep. 178
Always finish what you start. Don’t give up a good thing; you’re good at it and make a lot of money at it. The voice in your head is always right. All this sounds like good advice, yes? But what if one day you found out you had been slowly dying of this advice? I mean, literally, your health was deteriorating and you were wasting away? Tabatha Jones had an intuition for years that something was wrong, based on the challenges she started to face getting out of bed in the morning. At her foundatio...
Feb 06, 2025•45 min•Ep. 177
In our society, we don’t know how to talk about a lot of super important things. We don’t learn, because we’re not taught. And that’s due to longstanding beliefs that we’re supposed to handle things a certain way. Think about what happens if your spouse or life partner dies. You’re expected to have a period of enforced mourning. You look weird at best, or heartless at worst, if you keep going to work rather than take bereavement leave. Heaven forbid you take a vacation or something. They say it’...
Jan 30, 2025•46 min•Ep. 176
Before we begin, let me alert you that the content of this episode includes conversation about mental health struggles and suicide, which can be distressing for some people. Don’t worry, we don’t go into too much detail, but if you are uncomfortable about that kind of thing, you may want to avoid this episode. Imagine it’s 3:00 AM, and your life is coming apart at the seams. You don’t know how you can keep going, and maybe you’re not sure you want to. Even if you believe this will pass if only y...
Jan 23, 2025•56 min•Ep. 175
“Life is short” is one of those cliches that gets thrown around with the idea that you should let things roll off your shoulders or not spend time analyzing the past. The truth is, though, that life is longer than you realize because... A person lives on in the memories of those who knew them, are familiar with their stories, and share these stories so that other people may know them too. Frank Favaro’s grandfathers both died in 2004 when Frank was 27, but they are very much alive for him due no...
Jan 16, 2025•44 min•Ep. 174
In the written description of my podcast, Fine Is a 4-Letter Word, I begin by asking: “Wasn’t it just a couple years ago you were sitting on the beach at spring break in Ft. Lauderdale – listening to the Pet Shop Boys, U2, and Def Leppard - with your entire life ahead of you? Now you’re looking back 30-plus years and wondering what the hell happened.” Basically, I’ve just described what used to be called the mid-life crisis. I started the show shortly after I’d embarked on some major mid-stream ...
Jan 09, 2025•41 min•Ep. 173
Remember that time you slammed your hand in the door? I heard you screaming obscenities for days. And depending on how it happened, it might have stung for a minute or caused you pain for a week. But imagine your hand didn’t heal. Instead, it revealed you were slowly being ambushed by a silent killer. Act One to a new story you never saw coming. This is Susan Jackson Lee’s story, and it ends on a cliffhanger. Susan grew up in a military family as the only daughter in a family full of men, where ...
Jan 02, 2025•44 min•Ep. 172
2024 has been quite a year. I spent most of the year as a nomad, traveling throughout the Southeast United States moving from town to town, housesitting for a lot of awesome cats (and a few awesome dogs). It was an amazing adventure that led me to see lots of new places, meet people in real life I’d only known online, and discover a few things about myself along the journey. But as I moved around, I lived with uncertainty. Tonight I would be in this one house, but where would I be tomorrow night...
Dec 26, 2024•27 min•Ep. 171
Growing up in the United States, I was fortunate to not know what it’s like to go through a day with bombs falling around me and my dad fighting in the war. For Robin Ayoub, this was his daily reality, and as he would eventually discover, getting away from it was how he found his way home. Imagine being eleven years old and given 24 hours to learn how to operate a knitting machine because your family's survival depends on it. Then picture yourself going door-to-door every weekend, selling the sw...
Dec 19, 2024•44 min•Ep. 170
You’ve probably experienced sleep paralysis at some point – that weird “twilight zone” where you’re caught between the conscious world and the world of dreams, aware of your surroundings but noticing they have weird shapes. Usually you can break out of sleep paralysis within a few seconds and after catching your breath, you’re fully aware you’re awake again and safe from whatever monster was trying to get you. But imagine being in that twilight zone for more than six weeks, where even though you...
Dec 12, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 169
Can you feel the sense of dread just thinking about that time in your life when something went horribly wrong and everything you had planned was totally shot to hell? And what’s worse? The fear of criticism and rebuke from those you count on to be part of your support network or their well-intentioned comments that don’t do a damned thing to help and actually make you feel worse? Lilah Jones faced these questions when she got ripped off for thousands of dollars and almost lost her new house just...
Dec 05, 2024•43 min•Ep. 168
When I was a kid, I remember having Thanksgiving with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. As an adult, there have been years where my husband and I spent Thanksgiving with just my mom or with a small group of friends. In the most recent past years, before last year, it’s been having dinner with just one or two friends. My point is, not everyone has a big dinner to go to - and that’s ok. You’re not “less than” if you don’t. And at the same time, it can feel lonely. If this is your situat...
Nov 28, 2024•23 min•Ep. 167
When it feels like success and fulfillment continue to elude you even when you think you’re doing all the right things and making the right moves, it can be a real mindf*ck. What’s holding you back? What’s the block? Why is it always one step forward, two steps back? Todd Bertsch wrestled with this question for years. He grew up in the 1970s and 1980s in a lower middle-class family where they didn’t really discuss their values or have a lot of those poignant teaching moments you saw in the popul...
Nov 21, 2024•49 min•Ep. 166
