Back to Basics: Somatic Experiencing
What IS somatic experiencing, and how necessary is it for recovery? It's a complex topic for the complex-PTSDers - let's start the conversation. https://www.patreon.com/posts/106982208/
Jun 29, 2024•27 min
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Complex PTSD Recovery [on Spotify] : We Are Traumatized Motherfuckers
Peer-reviewed research and irreverent dark humor meet relational trauma recovery, without the "bright sides." Let's talk about the complicated experience of rectifying a life built on trauma, relearning how to have relationships, and re-imagining your future. (When you're ready, we'll see you in the deep end, detailed below).
You aren't alone, damaged, doomed, or dead yet. But you might be a real MF.
For 400+ "research meets real life" episodes, hour+ deep dives & multipart series, videos, workbooks, private community, and beyond go to: Patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers or t-mfrs.com
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Episodes
4.6. Acting out, Help-rejecting complaining, and Passive aggression; The (most) Immature Defenses
Ready to learn about the maladaptive tendencies of your most difficult relational partners? When we don't believe we're "entitled" to a need or emotion, we vent it into (unwise) action. Let's discuss the immature cognitive patterns we/others may still be utilizing to keep our brains "safe." We'll cover the lowest level self-defense mechanisms: Acting Out, Help-Rejecting Complaining, and Passive Aggression. Want to learn a lot more about these SDMs? Check the patreon page , where we're talking ab...
Jun 27, 2024•27 min•Season 4Ep. 6
Back to Basics: Defining "Mindfulness, MetaCognition, and Traumatic Training"
In our last BtB episode I used some poorly-understood words. Let's define "Mindfulness," "MetaCognition," and "Traumatic Training" as we use a common example of a traumatic lesson-turned-maladaptive-habit that rails so many of us: emotions = punishment. Git ready for another holistic discussion of parental shortcomings vs. the human brain vs. societal abuse vs. survival vs. living lives we actually want. 👋 Find the transcript to this video at t-mfrs.com , regardless of your subscription level. ...
Jun 21, 2024•54 min
The Basics of Trauma Recovery
Free to all! It's been pretty "advanced" round here. Let's take ten steps back and outline the 7 pointers everyone REALLY needs to know about PTSD and brain rewiring.
Jun 15, 2024•59 min
PS - Capitalistic and Narcissistic self-Defense Mechanisms
A BONUS for ya, as we start talking about defense mechanisms. We take on roles of employer or employee, and the defense mechanisms that allow us to maintain our assigned roles "for safety" flow from there. CHEERS FUCKERS
Jun 13, 2024•12 min
4.5 Narcs, Defense Mechanisms, & (non)Recovery: Intellectualizing, Rationalizing, and Reactionary Decision Making
We've learned that narcs don't generally recover because of their "creative narration" abilities. Now, let's talk about some of the ways they spin those stories. Today, we start our examination of self-defense mechanisms by looking at the purposes of Intellectualization and Rationalization. Then, we ask the question: SO HOW SMART ARE THEY? And discuss the distinct Thought Processing limitations of both Grandiose and Vulnerable Narcissists. Want the full story? Find the longform episodes on these...
May 28, 2024•28 min•Season 4Ep. 5
4.4. Pathological Structuring of Narcissists (Or, No Integrity without Integration)
They'll shake your hand while pissing on your leg, plead and then pulverize promises, and generally give the sense that they're one hundred people who share a face. But why? Let's talk about narcissist personality structuring that ranges from neurotic to psychopathic, but never hits the mark of "maturity." Meanwhile, creating the condition I've titled simply: There is no Integrity without Integration. Into this talk? Come hang out, there's been plenty more at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers...
Apr 24, 2024•23 min•Season 4Ep. 4
"Feel good about yourself." For Real. Building self Esteem x Parts Work
From the private Patreon stream, a special release epiaode! "Just feel good about yourself!" Great. Except your brain was drafted uponst narratives of self-derogation for 'safety.' So, now what? Let's talk about using the concept of adaptive narcissism and the self-supporting traits it encompasses for parts work... starting with your gd Managers. For more episodes like this and to support this DIY project, check us out....
Apr 17, 2024•42 min
4.3. Healing with "Adaptive Narcissism" and Uniqueness | Leveraging Stigma for Permissive self-Healing
"Just feel good about your authentic self and don't let anyone wreck your recognition of specialness." Right. Let's talk about what may be holding us back from achieving this safe, centered, self-supportive, resilience-boosting psychological station, and the easiest way to achieve the "healthy self" that's never been otherwise defined. Adaptive Narcissism. Plus, we'll be discussing how AN relates to VN and GN; reiterating the truth that going small with your self is not the answer to trauma reco...
Mar 27, 2024•41 min•Season 4Ep. 3
4.2. Filial Obligation Narratives, Ambivalence, Perception, and Guilt
Why is the decision to sacrifice or save our brains so difficult to make? Let's talk about subconscious narratives we probably all carry, the ambivalence-guilt connection, and the power of perception on caregiving burden. Find the transcript at t-mfrs.com Looking for the 9 full episodes on this topic? Hit up the Filial Obligation Collection on patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. Need some FilOb support? There's a group coming for that dontchaknow. Stay tuned. Cheers FCKRS....
Feb 22, 2024•25 min•Season 4Ep. 2
4.1. Making of a Vulnerable Narcissist
A big 'nouncement; so long TMFRS! Then let's talk about what constitutes a VulNarc versus "a person with CPTSD." Where does the chronic manipulation come from? How are recovery resources used for trauma-unhealing? What's up with the hostility and antagonism? . Lots to cover in this mashup of "time, space, and energy" meets "VulNarcs" and "trauma-selves." . For even more detail, check the newly updated Narc Collection at Patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers . And thank you again for the past 4 ye...
Jan 30, 2024•20 min•Season 4Ep. 1
3.12b. Sex on Parts and Survival Programs
This year we spoke about Intimacy. Now it's time to confront *Intimacy.* Let's look at the discrepant programs that live inside of us, gathered across a lifetime of adaptation to extreme events and unhealthy narratives. We're talking Sexual Healing vs. Internal Family Systems and deprived needs. Need this conversation more than you knew? Check out patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers for the application-heavy episodes, and see what you find out about yourself. While you're there, add a little mu...
Dec 15, 2023•25 min
3.12a. Transference, Projection, Monkey-barring, Displacement
We're tying up loose ends in our discussion of relationships! Today, discussing the cognitive copy-pastes we accidentally carry out between past and present relationships - and they ways they set us back in our recovery goals while creating abusive dynamics. Need more thoughts about transference in all its forms? I've got another hour of material and an animated vid on this one. Check patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers for more help, or go to t-mfrs.com to get your pubpod transcripts and learn...
Dec 11, 2023•21 min
Self-abandonment vs your best Spanksgiving
Let's cut the brainy shit, the real answer to surviving the holidays is not abandoning yourself. Need more holiday support? Don't we all. For all the other holiday freebies, just hit up patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers . Search "holiday" to find releases from the past for no cost, or subscribe to access the pre-wrangled Holiday Survival Collection for your listening ease. Stay safe, support yourself, and see you soon Fucker! MFJess and Marcus Barkus...
Nov 22, 2023•35 min
3.11. Ten Destructive Responses that Set Off Trauma Defenses
Back to NonViolent Communication! Here are 10 things the experts say destroy our attempts at vulnerable disclosures and requests. Just in time for the holidays, let's talk about why these conversational reactions burn our t-brains and why people are programmed to use them, anyways. For the full transcript and all the doods, check t-mfrs.com and get ready to peruse for hours. To jump into the full-length conversations and deep dives, head over to patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. And help sup...
Nov 03, 2023•47 min•Season 3Ep. 11
3.10. Chronic deprivation, self-sabotage, psychosomatic illness, and abuse dynamics
We learn to neglect ourselves at an early age and then everything goes to hell forever after. Stuck in unfixable suffering, toiling away with ineffectual attempts to comfort ourselves, and possibly... destroying our own lives, in an attempt to end the self-deprivation through backdoor methods. Let's talk about needs and what happens when we learn there are "required" versus "unallowed" ways we're permitted to care about ourselves. If this show made your eyes get real big, you may want to check o...
Oct 20, 2023•32 min•Season 3Ep. 10
3.9b Ending Deprivation and Rehabbing yer Brain with NonViolent Communication
"Depression is the reward we get for being good children." NVC helps yer relationships, sure. But it'll also rewire your t-brain trashhabits, emotional misunderstandings, and shit perspectives if you use it solo. Let's talk about the roots of the worst of us; our unmet needs and beliefs that deprivation = goodness. Which create vicious cycles of projection, unfulfillment, and relational abuse. Like reading along and looking at scribbles? Find your transcript here , Fucker. Ready to dive headfirs...
Sep 29, 2023•27 min•Season 3Ep. 9
3.9a NonViolent (Effective) Communication
Ever feel "unheard"? Well, here's the key to getting your point across and sparking collaboration rather than opposition. Today, we're talking about NonViolent Communication (NVC) - the 4 step framework for communicating effectively about emotions and unmet needs without stimulating defensive reactions or leaning on your own deeply ingrained control tactics... And so much more. Wanna transcript and some doods to listen along with? Find it here ! Looking to do more than scratch the surface on Non...
Sep 15, 2023•36 min•Season 3Ep. 9
3.8b. Shitpologies (AKA non-apology apologies)
So, how do we apologize "the right way"... Rather than creating MORE damage through half-assed "I'm sorrys"? Today, let's talk about the 5 points for offering a real apology for sake of true relational healing... And four examples of how NOT to apologize, unless you actually want to make the emotional abandonment experience worse for your partner. Looking for 10 more examples of terrible non-apologies? Hit up the recent episode "Non-Apology Apologies" over at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers...
Sep 01, 2023•24 min•Season 3Ep. 8
3.8a. The Key to Healing Relational Ruptures (and two people)
How DO we heal what's been broken? I've got a short phrase for you - it's what we've all needed to hear all along. And let's talk about the timeless wounds patched up by real apologies, as we prepare to talk about shitty apologies next time. Hail yerSelf and Cheers Fuckers. Git the transcript version of this post at t-mfrs.com and check out some doods while you're there. Catch up on the recent downpour of episodes over at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers and help this one-human DIY project k...
Aug 16, 2023•18 min•Season 3Ep. 8
Extra "survival Fs" to give in relationship; Fronting and Feigning
We all know about the 4 survival Fs at this point. But how about the additional F reactions- Fronting and Feigning? Let's talk about learned reactions that keep us feeling safe in relationship... while rotting out the connection, engaging manipulation tactics, and using fear as a self-defense. Looking for more "real relationship talk"? Well that's the order of the month, over in the private podcast stream . We're dropping four full episodes of "less fluffy" relational conversations, talking abou...
Jul 27, 2023•29 min
3.7. Determining "Are they a good relational partner?" before committing
We've talked a lot about committing fully to relationships and overcoming our conflicts together, through examining the subconscious wounds that actually underly our relational upsets. But here's my question: Is that realistic? Today, we talk about getting clearer on the contents of our potential and current relationship partners' preprogramming, through checking our own somatic experiences, our shared trauma histories, and their adaptions to the social systems that raised them. For alllll the r...
Jul 15, 2023•34 min
3.6b Overcoming spiraling conflicts in trauma-impacted relationships
Ever feel like "the issue" isn't really "the issue" in relational conflict? That's because the real issue is buried under layers of protective instincts that keep us unable to fully connect or communicate... but very capable of fighting, endlessly. Let's talk about "conscious relationships" and their trauma recovery utility, as we discuss methods for resolving unescapable conflict detailed by IFS couples therapy practitioners. Hankering for the full details on this relationship recovery talk? Hi...
Jun 16, 2023•27 min•Season 3Ep. 6
3.6 Lost love and authentic connection; the fragmented brain explanation
Why do we start close relationships and love connections feeling one way... only to watch them disintegrate, become survival-based, and turn into "resentment"? Let's walk through the easiest explanation ever told; pulling in our Internal Family Systems education to discuss the greatest relational obstacle of them all. Looking for a lot more relational talk? Good news! It's been the theme of 2023 over on the private stream . Check this month's special triple research episode release and get all t...
Jun 05, 2023•28 min•Season 3Ep. 6
3.5 Shadow parts vs. successful relationships | Internal VIT for healthy connections
We MFs struggle to begin or maintain healthy relationship dynamics, with a lot of externalized finger pointing about why . "Abusers just flock to me." But the truth is, the abuse recreation is mutual and it all starts in the place we attempt to willfully ignore - inside ourselves, within our preferred and hated personality aspects. Let's talk about acquisition of conscious and unconscious identities that fuck up our relational attempts equally. The ways Protective, Exiled, and Distractive brain ...
May 05, 2023•21 min
Special release | "Ah Hell Naw" Learned obstacles to forming close relationships
Why don't we sign up for close connections anymore? Especially after learning about our CPTSD patterns? It's an episode pulled from the private Fort! Let's talk about relationship hangups from an experiential standpoint, integrating what we've heard from the research with real life brain operations to demystify disorganized feelings about closely connecting with others. Check out t-mfrs.com for more info and blogged transcripts of each public episode. To help yourself help yourself, while al...
Apr 21, 2023•41 min
3.4 Vulnerability, Intimacy, and Trust Issues in Relationship
"So how do you feel about relationships? Complicated? You want them? You despise them? You fear them? You long for them? You try them? You exit them rapidly? Or you try to? You get stuck in them? And haunted by cycles of unfulfillment?" Today, let's talk about the obstacles we face when considering relationships or landing ourselves in them. The ways we attempt to protect ourselves from them. Why shallow, distanced relationships plague PTSD sufferers. And how vulnerability, intimacy, and trust a...
Apr 07, 2023•22 min
3.3. Subconscious Self-loathing
So you're doing your damndest to be "your best self." Maybe you're confident and comfortable in your identity these days. But, at the same time, you still find that self-condemnation is a big part of your day to day. Why? Let's talk about self-judgment taking place on subconscious levels. How your identities mask the ongoing self-loathing that created them. And how to heal that shit, once and for all. Up for making big changes? Get started with us at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers...
Mar 10, 2023•21 min•Season 3Ep. 3
Hardening versus Healing
Today, sharing a mini essay I wrote for another platform, where controversial perspectives are the topic of conversation. In so much of this "trauma recovery game" we're inspired to hunker down against past patterns. But is that really healing? Want more Traumatized Motherfuckers? Join the Patreon to get hundreds of past episodes, weekly releases, and a part in supporting this DIY show. Or find more info on the project at t-mfrs.com ....
Feb 24, 2023•22 min
2. Healing self-contradicting brains with Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy
Ever feel like you've got a whole household of people contained in one skull? Fighting, just like they did in your family home? Turns out, that's normal. Today, let's talk about Internal Family Systems and the roles cemented in your brain. Protectors, Exiles, Distractors, and their vicious cycles that leave us feeling out of control of our own noggins. Plus, how to work with them, instead of hosting raging battles inside forever. Looking for more deets or just want to help support this solo-DIY ...
Feb 10, 2023•30 min•Season 3Ep. 2
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