Surprise, we're back! Keeping up with the private stream's topic of the month, we're here to talk about Loneliness. Let's discuss the varieties of loneliness, the trends that start in childhood and pervade a lifetime, and the separate condition known as Isolation. Plus, how being a relational castaway can actually benefit our post-traumatic growth (whaaat). Looking for all the details and community reflections on these lifetimes of loneliness? Find em at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers - pr...
Jan 25, 2023•19 min•Season 3Ep. 1
Let's talk about the opposition we face during trauma recovery - namely, from our social contacts who aren't ready to have their own histories and perspectives pulled into focus. And, let's discuss the reason why the battle is worth all the effort. Don't give up, brave Motherfucker. Remember that what you're doing matters. For everyone. ✊ Related eps: perspective series, filial obligaton series, brain programming series, family hijinx series, NC eps, refind yer Self series, inner and outer work ...
Dec 20, 2022•34 min•Season 2Ep. 12
So we do this painful and energetically expensive inner work. And then what? Return to the same old lives? Naw, Fucker. That's the fastest way to hit "revert to draft." Once the integrative inner work starts, the outer labor has to keep up. Let's talk about supporting our brain changes by building new lives, to enable further cognitive evolution as we keep stepping. Related eps: inner and outer work series, refind & empower yer Self series, re-association eps, confronting common human fears ...
Dec 20, 2022•28 min•Season 2Ep. 11
Aiming for recovery, but finding that you never have the conditions to make progress? Let's talk about what it takes for a brain to heal. The basic mediums of life that most of us are unable to access in our traumatized society. Related eps: time distortion series, "rat cage" societal trauma series, inner and outer work series, refind yer Self series
Dec 20, 2022•18 min•Season 2Ep. 10
A brain is busy with all those survival processes running in the background and the second-by-second management of triggers and symptoms. So what happens when that system gets overloaded? Today, we're talking about the pattern of symptom masking/ignorance, overcompensation, loss of functionality, and eventual collapse. And how does "resilience vs. resistance" change our perspective? Related eps: brain operations series, perspective series, inner and outer work series...
Dec 20, 2022•15 min•Season 2Ep. 9
Back to this self-limiting conversation... what happens when our "selves" are limited by incohesion? When we have inner wars over "the right thing," or oppositional memory and emotional responses confusing every issue? Let's talk about the battle that rages inside. Revisiting "parts" and how they're the crux of pulling your shit together for long-lasting recovery. Related eps: fragmentation series, DID series, find and empower yer Self series, inner and outer work series, derealization and deper...
Dec 20, 2022•16 min•Season 2Ep. 8
You've decided to enact new behaviors to change your life... only to find you can't actually put them into practice. You stall out and revert to old programs to your own bewilderment. Something is stalling progress from the inside. Let's talk about self-limiting strategies for living spawned by trauma. And the ways they become "default modes" of daily existence. Related eps: self-limitation series, the cages we create ourselves, refind yer Self series, inner & outer work series Ready to retr...
Dec 20, 2022•16 min•Season 2Ep. 7
So we all have a penchant for fear, it's a foundational aspect of PTSD. But what happens when our brain relay system is wonky due to those adaptations? Let's talk about the faulty DMN. How it throws us into disjointed memories, disables continuous autobiographical recall, explains poor sense of somatic (bodily) self, and interacts with those pesky sub-sensory threshold fear triggers. Reflect on this one, it'll explain a lot. Related eps: DMN ep, entrapment series, developmental biology and disas...
Dec 20, 2022•16 min•Season 2Ep. 6
We know, trauma brains create patterns that can stall us out and keep us stuck. This is especially true when talking "relationships" of all forms. Unfortunately, leading many to feel permanently socially-tethered, personally incapable, and suicidal, instead. Today, let's talk about how relationships often corrupt our lives, how to re-work them, and when it's time to say goodbye - all for recovery's sake. Related eps: relationship obligation series, covert abuse series, brain patterning series, f...
Dec 20, 2022•15 min•Season 2Ep. 5
The time comes for all of us; the family call to duty. And then what. We know it's going to trigger unwanted trauma reactions. But resisting often feels futile, immoral, and socially-punishing. Let's talk about the dangers of family re-immersion for a healing trauma brain and what we can do to protect ourselves before the filial phonecalls start. Related eps: filial obligation and entrapment series, family brain hijinx series, fawning series, brain operations series, social psychology ep...
Dec 20, 2022•20 min•Season 2Ep. 4
Perspective; A word with many meanings, depending on who's speaking it. Namely, the bane of, "that's just ONE perspective." Let's talk about the real definition of the word, how it pertains to post-traumatic stress development, where attention vs. willful ignorance comes into play, and how no one can ever have your irreplicable perspective. Trust your guts, Fuckers. You know where you've been. Related eps: perspective series, time distortions series, covert abuse series, family brain hijinx seri...
Dec 20, 2022•19 min•Season 2Ep. 3
Have you been struggling to make meaningful progress? Well, these global events don't help. Especially when they feel so... family-iar... to our trauma brains. Let's talk about the semi-accepted phases of trauma recovery - destabilization, processing, and integration. And how societal systems keep bringing us back to square one. Related eps: "the rat cage" societal trauma series, refind yer Self series, inner work series
Dec 20, 2022•18 min•Season 2Ep. 2
Ever doubt that "it was significant enough to count as t-word"? Well, the key word is significance. Let's break this down simply and talk about what really creates PTSD; our brains' subjective experience of fear and the meaning we give events (and ourselves) in the aftermath. Related eps: filial obligation and entrapment series, perspective series
Dec 20, 2022•18 min•Season 2Ep. 1
We're back! Let's wrap up a year of in-depth trauma research and community insights with a new season. Free holiday support Discord server: https://discord.gg/5AYuCuQRhn Public holiday episodes (browse or search "holiday"): patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers Full episode guide: https://www.t-mfrs.com/epguide Ho-ho-ho, Motherfucker. I'll see you there.
Dec 20, 2022•7 min
Convinced you aren't individually damaged, doomed, or destitute yet? Sick. But that comfort doesn't do much good if your brain, behaviors, and life don't change along with the perspective. Here are 10 steps for CPTSD recovery and your life redesign. Keeping in mind, "different strokes for different folks," "different gains for different brains." Let the experiment begin. See you on the other side, Motherfucker. For a lot more "moving forward" information and support... you know by now. Patreon.c...
Jan 21, 2022•38 min
Do you edit your daily activities to feel "acceptable," to the detriment of your own wants, needs, and goals? Can you see yourself clearly from the outside, on one timeline? Do you have the power to "drop out" of your brain and observe its activities as a separate observer? Maybe not. Today, we're talking about the loss of "Self" - the most flowery and easily dismissible of the CPTSD hallmarks... which might explain why we continually lose progress in trauma recovery. It's the key to keeping you...
Jan 13, 2022•24 min
What's the difference between "being a good person" and sacrificing your whole life to support others? In most of our families and social structures... there isn't one. Which makes it pretty hard to name the problem, re-examine your instincts to serve, or stand up for your right to operate your own brain. Today, let's talk about one of the most ignored and normalized survival responses. Fawning. If history has anything to say - sorry to everyone who kickstarts a new round of therapy because of t...
Jan 06, 2022•22 min
Here's a holiday release for ya. Merry whatever-you-do, and let's talk about families fuckin things up. Mental illness seems to run in families, do'nnit? Turns out, there's some biological mirroring mechanisms you might want to hear about. Why are you "the way you are"? It's because of them. Why do they refuse to see your progress and personality realistically? It's also because of them. Today, let's talk brain development, brain programming, and brain-protection tactics (you might know them as ...
Dec 31, 2021•29 min
So, let's say your brain is on fire 24/7. Your body is doing the same. You're uncomfortable every moment, from the inside and out. You, very literally, are too sick and tired to deal with another obstacle or point of pressure. So... You reasonably start avoiding sources of strain. But then it gets unreasonable. What happens if everything is deemed "risky"? Talking the eventual extreme outcome of untreated CPTSD. Turns out, it's a lot more common than you probably think - TLC specials, aside. Tod...
Dec 23, 2021•21 min
What's the difference between your past high-functionality and current fears of "losing your fucking mind"? Bad information that was programmed into faulty neural networks being activated more regularly in ways that override the accessibility of the "human brained" prefrontal cortex. The good news is, you can fix it. Your brain isn't "you" or a reflection of your value. And it's just a stupid biological reactor organ, waiting to be taught better. "As much as we put it on a pedestal, your head is...
Dec 16, 2021•33 min
Time to talk about perhaps the largest post-traumatic complaint. It's time for Anxiety. (When isn't it?) Let's also chat about those highly related conditions often driven by anxiety... Obsession and Scattered Thinking. The link between all of them that might help you with managing the system? Neutralizing the "high energy" changes they create in your brain and body, plus rewiring that brain to recognize these neural activities are all unwinnable attempts to out-pace a rightfully-assumed-dangero...
Dec 08, 2021•30 min
You know the team well. They all travel together. One feeds into and strengthens the next. And getting away from them feels inescapable. It's a Traumatized Motherfucker's worst friends; rumination, shame, and depression. Which cognitive hellhole comes first? Current models aren't certain. All we know is, this horrible-thought-horrible-feeling cycle is one hell of a ride. "The end result of trying to “put ourselves in our maggoty, scum-filled place” is sitting at home alone, isolating ourselves, ...
Dec 06, 2021•24 min
Emotional numbing. Over-intellectualizing. Depersonalization. Derealization. Fragmented Personalities. Let's talk about all the ways that our brains try to protect us from stress, overwhelm, and danger. The ways we might see this as "adaptive skill." And the ways we might not even realize dissociation is happening, by half-brained design. Looking to learn more? You know what to do. Go to t-mfrs.com to see the visually-enhanced version of these posts (my shit-doodles, don't get excited). Hit Patr...
Nov 24, 2021•27 min
I know, therapy probably hasn’t been a walk in the park so far. If you’re here, you’re probably looking for more information, more help, or more reassurance that you’re not the only one looking for a way out. But there's no real substitute to having a professional to keep you grounded, processing the right materials, and creating personalized progress goals in line with your individual struggles. As someone who did NOT want to go to therapy, after two very bad experiences with people who didn’t ...
Nov 17, 2021•19 min
Let's take an unexpected step back, and talk more about the EXPERIENCE of living with CPTSD, not just the brain processes that make it reality. With memory, attentional, emotional, and relationship issues at the forefront of the list, not to mention all the stress-based health failures, there's a lot to say about the endless death march of having untreated CPTSD running the show. The real cumulative CPTSD experience is probably when we take all these tormentors coming from the insides of our own...
Nov 10, 2021•27 min
Let's talk about everyone's favorite new buzzdiagnosis - Complex Trauma (CPTSD). What is it? Why is it so difficult to name? And what does it really do to your brain, as far as creating self-destructive neural structures that can undermine your lifetime? Here's a biological / neuropsychological breakdown of life on undiagnosed CPTSD, AKA living with "pervasive relational trauma." In a nutshell, CPTSD is the same brain mechanism and downstream nightmare we just discussed last time in our PTSD tal...
Nov 01, 2021•33 min•Ep. 3
It's not so mysterious, actually. We’ve really made Trauma into a big word with a lot of negative connotation, qualification, and over-complication. I don’t know a single person who hasn’t shamefully uttered the phrase “But I wonder if that’s really bad enough to count as trauma , when other people have had it worse .” So let’s stop right there and clear up the fact that trauma has nothing to do with being in the top 1% of human tragedy. That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this work...
Oct 24, 2021•18 min•Ep. 2
So, how’s life been lately? But how has it really been? Having some variety of experiences that goes beyond your normal baseline standard depression, anxiety, self-hatred and disinterest in being alive? If you're new here - needing answers or a lobotomy ASAP - welcome to the club. Together we've had 18 months of trauma-learning through peer-reviewed research, connecting dots from our conversations in the community, and a bit too much personal experience. Apparently this one-human project has bee...
Oct 24, 2021•15 min•Ep. 1
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