A sponsor is someone who can share their own experience of recovery through the 12 Steps and can offer hope, encouragement, accountability, and feedback. If someone knows about good sponsor relationships, it’s Steven Croshaw. After struggling with a sex addiction for decades, he turned to a 12-step program to work towards recovery. Through this experience, he learned how to create a supportive situation with a sponsor or sponsee for a healthy relationship that works. In this episode: Working thr...
Apr 13, 2021•33 min•Season 1Ep. 68
It’s no secret. Shame often follows pornography even if you aren’t the user, especially in relationships. What are people thinking? Rhyll Crowshaw experienced this when her husband came to her with a sex addiction, and she had to decide how to move forward in their relationship. She discusses how to dispel the fear and shame that comes when worrying about others’ judgments, and work through betrayal trauma when a partner is struggling. In this episode: Pornography addiction is traumatizing to a ...
Apr 06, 2021•23 min•Season 1Ep. 67
Talking about pornography and sex can be awkward, shameful, and even scary. In fact, many of us were taught that the best way to deal with it was to avoid the subject completely. So it’s not only users, but parents, spouses, and friends who hide from confronting the issue of pornography. Brigham Elton is a certified pornography and sexual addiction counselor. Listen as he shares the benefits of talking about sex and pornography with kids, friends, and your spouse. Let’s come out of hiding and fa...
Mar 30, 2021•25 min•Season 1Ep. 66
Kids hire pornography for a variety of jobs to help them grow up, and the surprising thing is it makes sense. Creed and Crishelle talk with Kristen Jenson, author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures and founder of Protect Young minds, about this unusual way of understanding kids. She did a study with 10 young people who had a history of porn use. They found 4 categories of jobs that kids hired porn to do: Knowledge about sex Escaping from stressful emotions Normalizing sexual abuse Rebelling in a safe...
Mar 23, 2021•29 min•Season 1Ep. 65
It’s easy to get sucked into your phone, tv shows, or video games and forget who you are and what you really want out of life. Jason and Lisa Frost, young authors of a new book, talk with Creed and Crishelle about being intentional with media and living from your values. We should be angry instead of ashamed about screen culture and the big tech companies setting traps to steal our attention. They suggest that taking a break away from screens is worth it for the healthy benefits. In this episode...
Mar 16, 2021•31 min•Season 1Ep. 64
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) is a fascinating and effective therapy treatment that shifts stored memories and helps people not be so triggered by past trauma. It relieves emotional distress and calms the physical response to past memories. Our guest, Amanda Christenson is a therapist trained in EMDR. Listen in as Creed and Crishelle learn from her about how this form of therapy can relieve shame reactions and help individuals and couples overcome pornography. In this episode:...
Mar 09, 2021•26 min•Season 1Ep. 63
We all want to have connection in our marriage, especially when we struggle. Zach and Darcy Spafford discuss how to pause and step back to connect when pornography comes in between them. They also share the importance of compassion and grace towards themselves and each other in the process. In this episode: Each person can work for compassion for what the other is feeling. Ask about emotions rather than defending your behavior. Intimacy grows when problems are tackled together. Recovery requires...
Mar 02, 2021•26 min•Season 1Ep. 62
Watching a spouse work through recovery can be tough. Darcy Spafford experienced this when her husband, Zach, struggled with pornography. She shares how she separated herself from his actions and learned to have compassion for him and for herself. It helped to question the thoughts that popped up and decide if they’re really true. In this episode: Realizing how we’re the same; we may sin differently but we all struggle with something Support your spouse by allowing them to express their emotions...
Feb 23, 2021•21 min•Season 1Ep. 61
When struggling with something as difficult as pornography, it can be easy to feel like you no longer have a choice in your actions. But coach Zachary Spafford says taking responsibility for your decisions can lead to a whole new perspective that helps in recovery. Creed and Crishelle talk with Zach about his own journey to recovery and how changing your thoughts makes the road easier. In this episode: We have to have the capacity to choose. Own your agency. Agency is how we bring ourselves in a...
Feb 16, 2021•26 min•Season 1Ep. 60
Many young adults didn’t grow up with sexuality as a frequent topic in their homes. Join Creed and Crishelle as they chat with Lucy Ferguson about their lack of sex education as youth and how to learn more about healthy sexuality as you prepare for marriage. "Ignorance is bliss" does NOT apply to sex education. Bliss in healthy sexuality comes from being educated. It’s never too late to learn more! In this episode: Advocate for better sex education. Take charge of your sexual health. Your experi...
Feb 09, 2021•27 min•Season 1Ep. 59
Pornography involves a lot of inward thinking and selfishness. One way to get out of that is to serve others and focus on creating rather than consuming. Finding something positive to do besides watching pornography is one way Weston Smith and Spencer Buswell have worked towards recovery. They believe that doing something bigger than yourself, something meaningful and creative, can distract from temptation and connect you to a bigger purpose in life. In this episode: Be relentless and dauntless....
Feb 01, 2021•22 min•Season 1Ep. 58
A struggle with pornography is difficult enough, and facing it alone isn’t helpful. It takes extreme vulnerability to open up with the truth about your life, but it's so worth it when you find a community to support you. Spencer and Weston talk about the value of friendship, fighting the battle together, and how to find your people. Connect with someone that is going through the same thing so that you can push each other to new heights. In this episode Weston and Spencer’s friendship is a two-wa...
Jan 26, 2021•21 min•Season 1Ep. 57
We flipped roles and put Creed and Crishelle in the guest seats! Hear what they think is the best part of doing the podcast - and what's the hardest part. What do they want every young adult to know? Join us and learn more about our awesome podcasts hosts and why they are willing to talk about topics that no one wants to bring up. Show Notes: Submit anonymous questions, stories, or comments here . Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more! Contact us at hello@reach10.org. Learn more about our...
Jan 19, 2021•29 min•Season 1Ep. 56
Hear the rest of the story! This is part 2 of Stephen and Bentlee Edgington’s interview in episode 54. Bentlee shares how she had the courage to ask the question about pornography and what she was afraid of. Stephen shares that both partners can feel like victims when this challenging issue comes up, but it works better to have compassion for how hard it is for both people to talk about it. In this episode: The importance of honesty when talking about pornography. How will pornography affect our...
Jan 12, 2021•16 min•Season 1Ep. 43
After a couple has their first discussion about pornography - now what? In Part 1 of this conversation, Creed and Crishelle hear Stephen and Bentlee’s story about first talking this issue in their relationship, and how they learned to talk more openly about it in spite of their fears. In this episode: It takes courage on both sides to talk honestly about this. What Stephen learned from other relationships. Keep in mind what your end goal for the relationship is. Show Notes: Submit anonymous ques...
Jan 05, 2021•19 min•Season 1Ep. 54
Slip-ups happen when someone views pornography even though they are trying to quit. That comes with a lot of different emotions, from shame to discouragement. Geoff Steurer, a marriage and family therapist, talks with Creed and Crishelle on how people can learn from relapse and use it to become stronger. Relapse is a part of recovery, and even part of everyone’s life. In this episode: Talk about shame so that you can learn from relapses. Ease up on the judgement on yourself. Stand up to the bull...
Dec 22, 2020•29 min•Season 1Ep. 53
As a certified sex coach, Amanda Louder teaches clients all day about how to have better sexual health, and as a mom she has experience teaching her children about topics surrounding sex. Creed and Crishelle talk with her about how to start important conversations about sex with your partner, children, or other loved ones. They also discuss steps both married and single adults can take to prepare for and improve sexual relationships. In this episode: Intimacy is about knowing your partner and op...
Dec 16, 2020•29 min•Season 1Ep. 52
Being in a relationship with someone who is struggling with pornography is not easy. That’s why when Bree Swaner found herself in that situation, she worked to create a support system for herself so that she could support her husband. This week, Creed and Crishelle talk with Bree about how working through your feelings is the first step to being able to be at peace with your partner’s struggles, and how you can start having the tough conversations in your home. In this episode: Don’t be afraid t...
Dec 08, 2020•33 min•Season 1Ep. 51
The stigma that comes with a struggle with pornography often prevents people from sharing their story. The problem is, this often leads to someone feeling alone in their situation. Creed and Crishelle chat with Stephen Edgington about how sharing his story taught him how important connection is, whether you struggle with pornography or know someone who is struggling. In this episode: Practice opening up to people you trust to learn how to share your story. If someone doesn’t react well, you don’...
Dec 01, 2020•25 min•Season 1Ep. 50
Seeking therapy can be kind of scary! Worry about the cost, concern about what others may think, or being afraid to talk about our personal problems could keep someone from reaching out for professional help. Cassandra Hulse joins Creed and Crishelle to discuss the ins and outs of therapy for beginners. Hear about how therapy can help someone find the healing they’re searching for. In this episode: Keep trying until you find the right therapist for you. Online therapy can be a great resource to ...
Nov 24, 2020•24 min•Season 1Ep. 49
Finding the right program is essential when recovering from pornography use. Knowing what is available can help you suggest resources to help friends and family. Josh Otani has been working with the Men of Moroni and seen a huge, positive difference in his progress. This week, Creed and Crishelle talk with Josh about how this program has helped him establish safeguards, routines, and connection to help him along in his recovery. Learn what this resource has to offer. In this episode: Honesty is ...
Nov 17, 2020•26 min•Season 1Ep. 48
When you’re in a relationship with someone struggling with pornography, you may feel disconnected and hurt. This week, Creed and Crishelle talk with Lauren Hunter about how important it is to seek help when experiencing betrayal trauma, and how shame can get in the way of honest, open communication. They also discuss how pornography creates effects that damage relationships and how we can talk about those effects without creating more shame and fear. In this episode: The effects of pornography o...
Nov 10, 2020•24 min•Season 1Ep. 47
Online resources for those struggling with pornography have some benefits, such as anonymity and being available to help at any time. This week, Crishelle and Creed talk with Clay Olsen (co-founder of Fight the New Drug) about Fortify, an app that helps people stay on track in their recovery. In this episode: Fortify is not meant to replace therapy or 12 step programs, but enhance the experience. The recently-released redesign makes it easy to find support online. The program meets someone where...
Nov 03, 2020•29 min•Season 1Ep. 46
For each person struggling with pornography, the journey is individual and difficult in its own way. So how does someone know when to call themself an “addict”? Creed and Crishelle talk with Cassandra Hulse about how she came to realize that labeling yourself an addict is very personal and really depends on how it can help you in recovery. Hear her breakthrough story when she realized that the goal of recovery is to live a healthy life, not to attend a recovery program forever. In this episode: ...
Oct 27, 2020•18 min•Season 1Ep. 45
Media definitely has the potential to shape our understanding of sexuality - what we should think and how we should act. For people who have a long-term vision that involves a more holistic approach of the relational, emotional, and spiritual aspects of sexuality, then you start to see where the message portrayed in pornography doesn't line up with those goals. Listen as Creed and Crishelle talk with Nathan Leonhardt, a PhD student at the University of Toronto, about sexual scripts, research on ...
Oct 20, 2020•26 min•Season 1Ep. 44
Thoughts often seem to pop up all on their own, which can feel discouraging when one is trying to overcome pornography. Mindfulness can help change that. In this episode, Creed and Crishelle talk again with Ty Mansfield about how to begin practicing mindfulness and using those new skills to think and act more intentionally. In this episode: Being fully present with less judgement and more compassion takes practice. Start practicing mindfulness through guided meditations and reading more about it...
Oct 13, 2020•14 min•Season 1Ep. 43
With all the distractions there are in the world, learning to sit still and observe our own emotions and bodies can be quite difficult. In this episode, Creed and Crishelle talk with therapist Ty Mansfield about how practicing mindfulness can improve our lives, whether we are overcoming pornography, understanding healthy sexuality, or just learning how to handle our emotions. In this episode: Mindfulness increases the power to act and be in the moment. Sitting with emotions provides the ability ...
Oct 06, 2020•24 min•Season 1Ep. 42
Dating while struggling with pornography sometimes feels like a complete no go. But Brandon Fielding is a young therapist who shares how to know if you should go for it! Creed and Crishelle talk with him about how to get prepared to date if you aren’t quite there yet and how to approach the topic when you’re in a relationship. In this episode: Everyone has their baggage. You can’t wait to date until you are perfect. Choose to talk about what you struggle with when you feel comfortable with your ...
Sep 30, 2020•18 min•Season 1Ep. 41
Becoming more aware of both the physical and emotional aspects of your body is an important part of healthy sexuality. Creed and Crishelle talk with Ellyse Winward to learn how she continues to build self confidence through mindfulness and understanding healthy sexuality. In this episode: You can learn about healthy sexuality even if you’re single. Becoming more mindful of your feelings and body brings self love and prepares you to be in a committed relationship. Learning about this subject make...
Sep 22, 2020•25 min•Season 1Ep. 40
When searching for a solution to overcome pornography, try looking at the big picture and expect the process to take time. Creed and Crishelle explore this idea with Dr. Adam Moore as they discuss how to approach recovery from two perspectives: that using pornography causes problems in peoples’ lives and relationships, and is also a symptom of an underlying issue. Coming from both angles can offer the boost for lasting change. Dr. Adam M. Moore is a licensed marriage and family therapist and co-...
Sep 15, 2020•32 min•Season 1Ep. 39
