In this episode, Chris joins me again from Melbourne, Australia, to talk about his own journey of healing, relapses and recovery, involving decades of therapy and being part of support groups, as well as findings answers and help in the fields of neuroscience, biology and functional medicine. He shares with us insights and wisdoms gained throughout six decades of life, after having left the gay lifestyle and sought a path of healing and celibacy. *Trigger warning: discussion involves sexual abus...
Nov 06, 2020•1 hr 24 min•Season 3Ep. 9
In our last episode on support systems, Br. Ali Jaffery joins me again as a guest speaker and talks to us about the Mankind Project with its different services, like the New Warrior Training and integration groups, as well as a separate initiative called the Noble Man. How does the Mankind Project help men in general with their growth, healing and masculine identity? What is New Warrior Training weekend, and what does it involve? How does the Noble Man deal with the feminine dimension, and what ...
Nov 02, 2020•1 hr 6 min•Season 3Ep. 8
In this episode, Jeremy Schwab from the US and Alan Alencar from Brazil join me as guest speakers and talk to us about "Joel 2:25" and the international initiatives associated with the organization. What does "Joel 2:25" stand for? How has "Joel 2:25" evolved throughout the years, and what are some of the services provided for individuals who experience same-sex attractions? How can one be verified and admitted into the different support groups available? These and other questions are explored i...
Oct 30, 2020•1 hr 3 min•Season 3Ep. 7
In this episode, Mr. Richard Wyler from the US joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about Brothers Road and the services offered by his organization. How has "Brothers Road" evolved throughout the years from "People Can Change"? What are "Journey into Manhood" (JIM) weekends, and what do they involve in terms of bonding and healing work? What are other journeys offered beyond JIM? These and other questions are explored in this episode. Links to resources mentioned in the episode: - Brothe...
Oct 26, 2020•1 hr 1 min•Season 3Ep. 6
In this episode, Robert Gollwitzer from Germany joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about Homosexuals Anonymous and the 14-step program. How are the 14 steps different from the 12 steps, and what do they entail? What is the focus of Homosexuals Anonymous, and how does it help individuals struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions? These and other questions are explored in this episode. Links to resources mentioned in the episode: - Homosexuals Anonymous website - Robert’s website - Jo...
Oct 23, 2020•1 hr 7 min•Season 3Ep. 5
In this episode, Chris from Australia joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about 12-step programs as well as sexual recovery programs, like Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), among others. How did 12-step programs evolve throughout the years and what do they entail? Who are "sponsors" and how do they support us with our recovery? What are some of the different sexual recovery programs out there, and how do they help us in our journeys of abstinence from sex,...
Oct 19, 2020•53 min•Season 3Ep. 4
In this episode, Br. Yousef Salam from Canada joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about the online support group Straight Struggle. How did Straight Struggle evolve throughout the years from the "Yahoo!" to "Discord" platforms? What are the services that the online support group provides? What are the demographics of members who benefit from such services? These questions and others are explored in this episode. Links to resources mentioned in the episode: - Br. Yousef’s article, “From a...
Oct 16, 2020•1 hr 6 min•Season 3Ep. 3
In this episode, Br. Ali Jaffery from the UK joins me as a guest speaker and talks to us about his organization, Strong Support, which aims to help Muslims experiencing unwanted same-sex lust. What is the mission and vision of Strong Support? What are the services that it provides? What are the demographics of members who benefit from such services? These questions and others are explored in this episode. Links to resources mentioned in the episode: - Br. Ali’s podcast interview on The Muslim Vi...
Oct 12, 2020•48 min•Season 3Ep. 2
With season 3, we begin a series of episodes that address different kinds of support systems and the ways they can help us on our journeys of growth and healing. In this episode, we address local support groups, including friends, family members and colleagues, and we answer some frequently asked questions. What are the different kinds of friendship with the same sex that one can cultivate, and what values do they have? Should I disclose my same-sex attractions to a close friend, and if so, how ...
Oct 09, 2020•1 hr 18 min•Season 3Ep. 1
In this season finale, my friend Amina joins me as a guest speaker to share with us her story, from same-sex relationships and marriage, being on “spiritual life support” as she calls it, and living the “progressive lifestyle”, to returning back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and changing her life for Him. *Trigger warning: the episode covers deep emotional topics like abandonment and divorce, as well as issues related to childhood sexual abuse* Send us a text...
Sep 18, 2020•2 hr 30 min•Season 2Ep. 14
In our last episode on spiritual reflections, Hashim and I revisit the topic of repentance, and we discuss spiritual awakening, the characteristics of that station and some things to watch out for when we're experiencing the "highs" as well as the "lows". We also wrap up and summarize the spiritual themes discussed during season 2 of the podcast. What is spiritual awakening and why is it temporary? How is it that a spiritual high is a test as much as a spiritual low? And how is this relevant in ...
Sep 11, 2020•1 hr 8 min•Season 2Ep. 13
In this episode, Hashim and I talk about desires and shahawat: their different kinds, the wisdom behind them, and the many ways to help us curb them in our journeys, particularly for individuals who experience same-sex attractions. Is it only Shaytan that whispers to us to inflame our desires? What are the different degrees of the nafs (self), and how are they relevant to our journey in life? What can be done individually and collectively to help us control our desires in a healthy manner? These...
Sep 11, 2020•1 hr 33 min•Season 2Ep. 12
In this episode, Hashim and I discuss the story of the people of Lut (PBUH) and reflect on many relevant themes, with a focus on our struggle as men and women experiencing same-sex attractions in this day and age who are committed to staying true to Allah and His deen. We tackle the topics of pride and remorse, the ways in which we may be similar to and different from the people of Lut (PBUH), how chastity is a cornerstone of our faith, and how grounding ourselves in Him and standing our ground ...
Sep 04, 2020•1 hr 31 min•Season 2Ep. 11
This is a 2-episode series where my friend Hashim and I dissect the story of Adam and Eve, peace be upon them, as well as temptation and repentance and offer many reflections on how this story is relevant to us as men and women experiencing SSA. In part II of this series, we talk about how to use Allah's provisions to repent and go back to Him, starting with remembrance and prayer, the importance of never losing hope or giving in to despair or shame and of reflecting on the mercy and love that A...
Aug 28, 2020•1 hr 10 min•Season 2Ep. 10
This is a 2-episode series where my friend Hashim and I dissect the story of Adam and Eve, peace be upon them, as well as temptation and repentance and offer many reflections on how this story is relevant to us as men and women experiencing SSA. In part I of this series, we go back to the origin of the creation of mankind: how God glorified man and destined him for greatness, how the devil lurks in the background and uses our desires against us, glorifying sin and temptation, and how Adam PBUH i...
Aug 28, 2020•1 hr 14 min•Season 2Ep. 9
In this episode, we explore together the concept of love for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, presenting the examples of two pairs of giants: David (PBUH) and Jonathan, as well as Shams and Rumi. Pure love between members of the same sex can be very profound, healing and uplifting, such that even poetry fails to describe its magnitude. What was the kind of love that these two pairs shared such that its legacy still stands until this day? Were any parts of this love sensual or physical, or ...
Aug 21, 2020•57 min•Season 2Ep. 8
In this episode, we talk about gifts and talents, as well as Divine openings that come along with SSA. Whether spiritual openings, emotional intelligence or extraordinary talents across different fields, men and women with SSA have God-given gifts, which, when used wisely, can end up changing the world. We also explore some stories of men and women throughout history, among whom some had strong and platonic same-sex friendships, others had SSA and kept themselves chaste, while others, unfortunat...
Aug 14, 2020•58 min•Season 2Ep. 7
In this episode, Aadam and I discuss the topic of attachments, fear of letting go, and sacrifice for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. We dissect the story of Ibrahim, Hajar and Isma'il (peace and blessings be upon them all), looking at their trials from that particular lens. We also examine the statement of Tawheed (monotheism): "There is no god but Allah" from a lens of shedding all worldly attachments and redirecting things towards Him. What are some things to which we are attached in th...
Aug 07, 2020•1 hr 26 min•Season 2Ep. 6
In our third and last part of the three-episode series on hardships, trials and tribulations, we talk about how trials and hardships purify us, the rewards hidden in them and how challenges in life lead to self-improvement and the development of gratitude and contentment. We end this series of episodes by synthesizing all themes discussed and reflecting on the story of Prophet Yusuf/Joseph (PBUH). How does pain purify us and bring us back to Allah? What is the difference between bearing things, ...
Jul 31, 2020•1 hr 1 min•Season 2Ep. 5
We continue with our three-episode series on hardships, trials and tribulations, and in this second part, we talk about how struggles bring about sincerity, humility and patient forbearance, as well as many rewards from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. We also explore the notion, "With every hardship comes ease", as we present glimpses from the lives of Moses, Maryam and Asiyah, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon them all, and contextualize our struggle with SSA in relation to these profound...
Jul 24, 2020•1 hr 22 min•Season 2Ep. 4
My friend Aadam joins me in a three-episode series where we discuss hardships, trials and tribulations and contextualize our struggle with SSA in the larger scheme of things. In this episode, we talk about the problem of evil and suffering, the story of Moses (PBUH) and Al-Khidr, the story of Ayyub (PBUH) and his wife, and how everything in life is a test from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Why do "bad things" happen to "good people"? Why are we tested? Can things that appear as "bad" conceal "good"...
Jul 17, 2020•1 hr 21 min•Season 2Ep. 3
With this episode, we begin a series of episodes tackling spiritual aspects relevant to struggles, trials and tribulations. We explore together what many of us have been through, or are still going through, namely, what seems to be "layers of darkness within an unfathomable sea", and our search for Light. The episode is based on Surat al-Fatiha, The Opener and Inaugurator of the Qur'an, and it is an invitation to let go of one's anger, baggage and preconceived notions for a tiny amount of time a...
Jul 10, 2020•1 hr 7 min•Season 2Ep. 2
In this season 2 premiere, I address some of the questions and comments received and misconceptions that arose with regards to topics addressed in season 1 of the podcast, inviting everyone to pause, rewind and hit play, both literally and spiritually. Do we all fit the trauma-based models? Does therapy work for everyone? What is meant by "healing" in the context of SSA, and is there any such thing to begin with? And most importantly, who is in charge of your life, choices and decisions? These a...
Jul 03, 2020•1 hr 5 min•Season 2Ep. 1
In this season finale, Mr. Richard Cohen, author of Coming Out Straight: Understanding Same-Sex Attraction joins me in an intense yet heartwarming discussion of the four areas and four stages of healing that he outlines in his book, as part of a comprehensive and holistic plan to healing and growth. We dissect, in details, the different stages from grounding and transitioning to healing homo- and hetero-emotional wounds, in line with the the psychology of SSA covered in previous episodes. We als...
Apr 17, 2020•2 hr 27 min•Season 1Ep. 12
In this episode, Mr. Michael Gasparro from Dr. Nicolosi's Breakthrough Clinic joins me to talk about reintegrative therapy. We discuss cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), body work, how to navigate the gray zone and the scenario preceding the homosexual enactment, as well as grief work and the reintegrative therapy protocol. Would therapy help me address my same-sex attractions? How different is reintegrative therapy from what is known nowadays as conversion therapy? What resources are available...
Apr 10, 2020•1 hr 10 min•Season 1Ep. 11
In this episode, we tackle the origins, development and characteristics of female same-sex attractions (SSA). We dive again into childhood family dynamics, defensive detachment, gender non-conformity, trauma and sexual abuse, as well as poor peer relations and body image. We explore together dynamics of female-female relationships and discuss emotional dependency and enmeshment. How similar and different are male SSA and female SSA? What are the four profiles of women with SSA? How do attachment...
Apr 03, 2020•1 hr 56 min•Season 1Ep. 10
In this episode, my friend Fares and I discuss characteristics and experiences common to men and women experiencing same-sex attractions (SSA). We revisit shame and discuss anticipatory shame, and we explain some of the psychological defenses that we exhibit, mainly false selves and narcissistic thoughts and behaviors. We also dissect the notion of homosexuality being a repetition compulsion and tie it to addictions, and we look into some of the inherent deficits of homosexual relationships. Fin...
Mar 27, 2020•2 hr 2 min•Season 1Ep. 9
In part II of our discussion on the genesis of same-sex attractions (SSA), we tackle the topics of poor peer relations, social wounds, body image and the masculinity/femininity inferiority complex. We also go into the roles of society, media and culture, as well as the potential effects of separation from parents and negative events in-utero. The second half of the episode is dedicated to the topic of sexual abuse. We consider research findings, consider a personal account, and offer advice and ...
Mar 20, 2020•1 hr 22 min•Season 1Ep. 8
In part I of a discussion on the genesis of same-sex attractions (SSA), we tackle the extent to which genetics, temperamental predisposition as well as different family dynamics are associated with the development of homosexual inclinations. In addition, we talk about narcissistic parental relations and their impacts on children, the concept of defensive detachment as well as how homosexuality can be seen as a reparative drive. Is there a gay gene? Am I predisposed to developing SSA? What roles ...
Mar 13, 2020•1 hr 58 min•Season 1Ep. 7
In this episode, my dear friend Sinan joins me to share his personal story. A journey from a place of complete darkness and devastation to a place of wholeness and peace. *Trigger warning: episode includes vivid recollection of severe depression, death wishes and passive suicidal ideations* Send us a text
Mar 06, 2020•2 hr 11 min•Season 1Ep. 6
