Episode description

We all need to feel seen and heard, especially when times are tough. We need to know that when we’re struggling, others see our pain. This provides validation that what we are experiencing is real. We also need to know that our reaction to difficult times is not “crazy”, but a normal response that anyone in the same situation would also experience. This helps normalise our response and take some of the self-judgement out of the equation.

As mental health professionals normalising and validating peoples emotional experiences is a common aspect to our work with clients. It’s not a ‘treatment’ but an important element to laying the foundations for treatment to be effective, because it helps build trust. A fundamental component of the therapeutic relationship.

What if you can’t someone who’ll provide that normalisation or validation for you? Then it’s time to take a step back and provide that for yourself.

How? It involves a big dollop of self-compassion, and consciously tapping into viewing your situation through the eyes of others (not in a critical way, but in a more objective way) … How would your favourite teacher, best friend, respected colleague feel if they were in your shoes? How long is the list of things you’re trying to juggle right now? Would you expect others to be able to juggle that load without dropping any balls?

Normalise your feelings by gently reminding yourself that others experience what you’re going through and need help too … Do NOT minimise the impact on yourself just because “others have it tougher”. Remember, it’s all relative.

Validate your feelings by gently reminding yourself that it’s okay to feel stressed in stressful time, or sad about sad things, or anxious during times of uncertainty.

Be gentle with yourself. These are abnormal times, and big feelings are to be expected.

And of course … it’s normal to need help with overwhelming feelings too.

Take care,

Tess x

p.s. If you need help with your mental health, my team at The Crawley Clinic (Melbourne and Launceston) can help - www.thecrawleyclinic.com.au - as can our colleagues at Crawley House - www.crawleyhouse.com.au