Episode description

Links

Take this fun quiz to determine your communication style - scroll to the end of the blog post to access.

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/post/rapport 

Ace your Negotiations: Mastering Tough Questions:

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/post/ace-your-negotiations-mastering-tough-questions-in-negotiations 

Sites for D.I.S.C. assessment:

https://www.betterup.com/blog/what-is-a-disc-assessment 

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/disc/ 

Transcript

Hello I'm your host, Dorothy Mashburn, and welcome to Salary Negotiations made Simple.

I show you how negotiating does not have to be overwhelming.

I break the entire process of negotiating into easy to learn steps that you can use in a.

Any salary negotiation situation, whether you're starting a new job or preparing to ask for a raise.

Expect to receive practical, actionable strategies that are based on real life experiences. I'll be sharing tips that have been proven to work with professionals like you have netted anywhere from $5000 to $40,000 more in compensation. Its payment for the skills you. Already bring, so you need to know how to ask for payment for those skills.

Are you ready to learn how to boost your earnings?

Let's dive in.

Yes, I know you're ready to get to the meat and potatoes of this, and so am I.

We're talking about how to establish rapport in a negotiation.

You have probably heard about the importance of building rapport, but how exactly do you do it?

Most new negotiators struggle with this, and while many experts.

Emphasize how important building rapport is, the specific technique and strategies for building a

This lack of practical advice can leave negotiators feeling lost and unsure of how to proceed.

Am I right?

Do you feel that you are in the same boat?

Sometimes I have negotiated hundreds of agreements with negotiators at all levels and I'm here to emphasize that building rapport.

Is absolutely key.

Means the experts are absolutely right on that.

How do you do it?

Is the problem right?

We know it can make all the difference between a successful negotiation and a frustrating stalemate.

Taking the time to establish a connection with the other party can help you both feel more comfortable and invested in the process and you can unearth.

Gold Nuggets during the report building that can give you an extra advantage during those negotiations.

That said, rapport building isn't always easy.

Sometimes it happens right away, depending on the personalities.

But other times it takes a bit of patience and effort.

The important thing is to stay open and attentive to the other party and to look for opportunities to connect on a personal level.

This might mean asking about their interests or background, or sharing a bit about yourself.

Establish a common.

When we look around, we can always name someone in our life who is naturally gifted at reading the room or understanding nonverbal cues.

Am I right? Take a moment to think about that person.

What are they doing that allows them to find a common thread?

And then pull at it.

Are they mind reading?

Probably not.

So what are they doing?

Of course, there are many different ways of learning to master the skill.

We will focus on just one framework because in my opinion it is simple, practical and easy to apply.

One quick disclaimer, this framework is based on emotional and behavior theory and definitely has its critics.

The key is it gives its sound enough framework to base your negotiation strategy.

This framework has been around since the 1920s and is still relevant to.

It was developed by a psychologist named William Marston and is called the Disk Framework.

DisC stands for dominant, influential, steady and conscientious.

Dominant types are celebrities such as Gordon Ramsay, Elon Musk and Hillary Clinton.

Their assertive and confident take a moment to think about the people you interact with on a daily basis.

Can you think of 1?

Influential types are outgoing and sociable, like Ellen DeGeneres, Bill Clinton and Jay Leno.

Steady types are cooperative and patient.

Some celebrities that could follow the study types are Tom Hanks and Fred Rogers.

Conscientious types are analytical.

And detailed oriented like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett.

I bet you can place someone you know into each of the four categories one more time.

We are all complex organisms and four categories is a very, very simple representation of such complex beings.

Keep in mind we are going for a directional idea here in order to maximize the value of the pitch.

You're going to make, so we do not have to be exact.

Take a moment to think about which type resonates with you the most.

What do you?

Think are you dominant, influential, steady or conscientious?

Knowing your own communication style is a foundational step to building rapport.

There are many free online resources which you can use to do a quiz which will allow you to develop or find out about your own style.

I have included a free one in the show notes that can provide a general guideline, though remember there are professional sites that do these assessments with much more details and accuracies, and I will link a few of those.

In the notes as well.

Now let's try to understand what type of information resonates best with each communication style.

If you're addressing a dominant person, say Gordon Ramsay, you should focus on results and achievements.

Use concrete examples to illustrate the benefits of your proposal.

Your idea highlight how your solution will help the person achieve their goals and their objectives.

Sweet confidently and assertively, and be ready to answer tough questions.

By the way, I have a whole blog post on how to handle tough questions and I will link it in the notes section.

When communicating with an influential person, focus on building a personal connection.

Share stories, anecdotes, and examples that will help the person relate to you on a personal level.

Use positive language and highlight the potential for fun and excitement.

Be enthusiastic and engaging.

And be prepared to listen to the person's ideas and feed.

Think how Ellen communicates on her show.

Try and watch a few of her shows.

This is the type of communication that we're going for.

Now let's move on to a personality type that prefers the steady style of communication.

They will like to focus on building a relationship of trust and respect, show empathy and understanding, and be patient and supportive.

Use language that is friendly and familiar and avoid coming across as too pushy.

More aggressive.

Be prepared to listen actively and to offer constructive feedback and support.

See how some of these personality types might clash with each other?

This is exactly why we need to understand our own style as well as the style of the counterpart that we are negotiating with now.

Finally, communicating with a conscientious person, you need to focus on details and facts.

Use precise language and provide evidence to support any claims that you make. Be prepared to answer technical questions and to provide detailed explanations. Show respect for the person's expertise and be willing to work collaboratively to find the best solution.

The people who are best known for.

This style are.

Warren Buffett, Bill Gates.

And if you can think of some of the presentations that they have made or if you can look those up before a negotiation, you are going to be golden.

The bottom line in all of this is to provide information in the language of the receive.

Not how you like to receive information, but how your counterpart likes to receive information.

This is your best way to maximize any pitch that you make in the negotiation.

I have to provide the disclaimer here.

You have to be adaptable.

Everything about a negotiation is about adapting.

You and I are only human, so it is very possible that you might have considered someone to be conscientious, but as you engage, you find out they actually are in the steady type category.

During your preparation time, which remember preparation is foundational for any negotiation, have backup scripts in case you need to adapt your pitch.

If halfway through, you determine that your counterpart is actually a different communication style, you will want to be able to adjust your approach.

This is one big reason.

I recommend that negotiation should happen at a conversational level and not through e-mail.

The key is to listen carefully to your counterpart and adjust accordingly.

In many negotiation classes, you will hear people talking about how you need to build your active listening skills, and this is exactly why, because you're listening for clues so that you can adapt your message.

Makes sense.

Right.

One way to get better at this is to notice how salespeople make their pitches.

If you pay close attention, you will see that because they are studiers wait, studiers is that even a word?

OK, student.

Students of behavior, and they also practice a lot.

They are experts at addressing and adapting to their customers needs and objections.

Let's say they are working with a.

Customer who's a Dd.

Type, which means that the D types are dominant and results driven.

A salesperson may focus on discussing the benefits and results that their product or service can provide.

If a customer is an S type means they're steady and cooperative and expert salesperson.

May focus on building a relationship with the customer and demonstrating how their product or service can meet the customer's needs.

For an eye type customer whose outgoing and sociable a salesperson may focus on establishing a personal connection AC type who is conscientious and detail oriented for them, an expert salesperson may focus on providing specific details and data to support their product or service.

They may also take a more structured and methodical approach to match the customer's communication style.

So usually sales training includes words about mirroring and this is another way of doing exactly what I'm teaching you here today.

So mirroring is basically doing what the customer is doing in the language that they understand so that they receive the information that you're sending them in a perfect.

Does this make sense?

There you have it.

An easy framework to help you build rapport with anyone, though I want you to remember that building rapport with others is a valuable skill and can greatly improve the outcome of your negotiations.

And while the disk framework can certainly be a helpful tool for understanding how to communicate.

It doesn't happen overnight, my friends.

I would encourage you to approach rapport building as an ongoing experiment.

Pay attention to how people respond to your communication style in different contexts.

Whether you're in a cafe, on the metro or anywhere else.

And then use that feedback to refine your approach overtime.

Remember to ask yourself questions like how did I handle that interaction and could I have done something different?

What could I have done better?

Think and reflect on every single experience.

I promise you you will get better.

It is not a one and done skill.

It is something you will continue to learn and refine throughout your life.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes or experiment with different approaches.

How you will learn.

What works best for you?

Finally, as you practice and refine your report building skills, you will find that you become more confident and effective in your interactions.

So be an experimenter, keep learning, and don't forget to do an after action review to help you continue to grow and improve.

Good luck.

On Thursday we will discuss how to negotiate with a personality type identified in the dominant category.

This is the first of a series.

That we are going to do on how to negotiate with all of the four personality types, so make sure and tune in for that one.

Some great tips to help you not feel intimidated.

Thank you for listening today and bye for now.