One has to be careful in buffet situations. There are so many options, and you are pulled in so many different directions. You must differentiate the false urgency from the genuinely pressing, and it is a test of your evaluation and timing skills to successfully navigate your priorities. What to do, and when? How much of what? If you fail to make the wise choices, you might not get through the dessert. Games Played Last Week: 02:20 -IKI: Akebono (Koota Yamada, Sorry We Are French, 2023) 08:22 -I...
Nov 07, 2023•1 hr 7 min•Transcript available on Metacast "'Well, I remember it as though it were an episode ago' Said Walker the Host as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter May have nestled its way into his mighty throat Many a poor design had met its demise while staring point-blank down The cavernous barrel of this awesome critical machine Truly a wonder of nature, this urban gamer Walker the Host had many a story to tell And it was a frequent occasion such as this that he did ... 'Say Bigney, do you wanna play games with...
Oct 31, 2023•1 hr 20 min•Transcript available on Metacast On October 27th, 1962, a man named Vasili Arkhipov saved the world. Literally. Had he not stood up to his commanding officer and refused to launch a nuclear warhead during the Cuban Missile Crisis, the resulting retaliations would have obliterated all human life. Probably the marmosets and gibbons, too. We here at SVWAG think the man deserves a holiday in his honour, especially given that we all owe our lives to him. October 27th is Arkhipov Day. Games Played Last Week: 01:05 -Undaunted: Staling...
Oct 24, 2023•1 hr 16 min•Transcript available on Metacast "Somethin' tells me it's all happening at the zoo I do believe it I do believe it's true The monkeys stand for honesty Giraffes are insincere And the elephants are kindly but they're dumb Orangutans are skeptical Of changes in their cages And the zookeeper is very fond of rum Zebras are reactionaries Antelopes are missionaries Pigeons plot in secrecy And hamsters turn on frequently What a gas, you gotta come and see At the zoo" -Simon and Garfunkel, "At the Zoo", ...
Oct 17, 2023•1 hr 29 min•Transcript available on Metacast It's all Fat Bear Week and puns this week, both of which share one important characteristic--they have distended, pendulous bellies. Wait, that wasn't it. It's that they are both to be respected for their power and danger. Those people you hear about who try to live with bears always suffer the same fates as the serial deployers of puns, in that they are both found dead and alone. Games Played Last Week: 01:42 -Undaunted: Stalingrad (Trevor Benjamin and David Thompson, Osprey Games, ...
Oct 10, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Transcript available on Metacast We turn to yet another discussion of important issues in boardgaming, this time WE INTERRUPT YOUR SILLY EPISODE NOTES FOR A SERIOUS ANNOUNCEMENT It is fat bear week! The possibility of a US federal government shutdown has been averted, and thus the voting public (even foreigners, we won't tell) may vote on which lorge bois of the ursine variety shall take the prize! For those uninitiated, the US National Park Service runs a bracketed competition to determine the preferred corpulent bear. Not...
Oct 03, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Transcript available on Metacast Any old person could consult Wikipedia, but only the true elite tune in to SVWAG to hear Walker summarize random boat-related articles for them. It's a power move to rival even the most outrageous exploits of the viking peoples. Games Played Last Week: 00:50 -Faeries & Magical Creatures (Glenn Drover, Foridden Games, 2023) 05:27 -Dogfight! (Carlo A. Rossi, PSC Games, 2023) 09:48 -Ceylon (Chris Zinsli and Suzanne Zinsli, Ludonova, 2018) 12:10 -Almost Innocent (Philippe Attali, Kolossal Ga...
Sep 26, 2023•1 hr 18 min•Transcript available on Metacast We return to the bizarre cant of Letterkenny, invoking specifically the term "ferda," which is a contraction of "for the boys/girls." It is a great way to punctuate a sentence, especially if you do not wish to be understood--but that is true of all cant. Relatedly, if you haven't already, please do peruse our own glossary on sowronggames.com! We are not above our own cant, especially given our penchant for acronyms. Games Played Last Week: 02:07 -My Island (Reiner Knizia, KOS...
Sep 19, 2023•1 hr 9 min•Ep 279•Transcript available on Metacast Walker and Huey voted to end the game early, but there were then procedural questions as to whether that warranted a runoff in the French Presidential style. Chip III repeated his preference for a ranked-choice voting system, but he couldn't decide whether his second choice was a single transferable vote or first past the post. Meanwhile, Mark gerrymandered the rest of the table into one sprawling district, and made three new districts intersect at his spine so he got three votes to everyone...
Sep 12, 2023•1 hr 26 min•Ep 276•Transcript available on Metacast No cats were harmed during the recording of this episode. Official SVWAG cat Chandler (aka Potato aka Chan-Chan aka The Chan-Man) had his dignity challenged when Mark laughed at his strange partially-shaved body, but we don't think that counts. Official SVWAG dog Bruno (aka The Dog) resents human non-walk activities, but again, that probably doesn't count. The editorial gibbons and the HR gibbons colluded to classify Mark and Walker as "sub-animal automated speakboxes" and then t...
Sep 05, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Ep 277•Transcript available on Metacast I was originally going to riff on Ginsberg's Howl, but I confess I had completely forgotten what a monster of a piece it is--redolent in imagery and references that are very much of a time since past. I considered then moving on to Nelson's On the Road Again, and faced the opposite problem--man, that song has some simple lyrics. I guess Shelley and Shakespeare are the sweet spot. 01:24 AYURIS: Praga Caput Regni (Vladimír Suchý, Delicious Games, 2020) Games Played Last Week: 03:56 -Shadow...
Aug 29, 2023•1 hr 5 min•Ep 276•Transcript available on Metacast As a certain talk-show huckster was wont to say, we train people how to treat us. Without absolving other people of their own responsibility, we can nonetheless take a certain amount of responsibility for entirely predictable reactions to our own decisions. "Don't feed the troll," goes the internet wisdom, and wise it is--Mark routinely fails to heed that good advice in the face of taunting by Walker. That said, Walker cannot claim to be long-suffering about Mark's mythological d...
Aug 22, 2023•1 hr 12 min•Ep 275•Transcript available on Metacast David Hume argued that all ideas are either simple or complex, and that in turn all complex ideas are merely composed of simple ideas. He wasn't a huge fan of some of those complex ideas; he used the example of a chimera, where you take a lion, a snake, and a goat (three simple ideas, but we can quibble with that later if you like) and smush them all together to get a complex idea. Hume was sceptical about complex ideas, to say the least. We can agree or disagree with Hume on many fronts, an...
Aug 15, 2023•2 hr 33 min•Transcript available on Metacast There was A Time Before. Historians no doubt will soon abandon the antiquated notions of BCE and CE, and will instead resort to the infinitely more practical Pre-SVWAG and Post-SVWAG eras. In the dim and distant past of Pre-SVWAG, people had the audacity to release games before we could weigh in on them officially. Whether this was borne of opportunism, undue haste, or some other impulse we will not speculate. 03:40 AYURIS: Khôra: Rise of an Empire (Head Quarter Simulation Game Club, IELLO, 2021...
Aug 08, 2023•1 hr 26 min•Ep 273•Transcript available on Metacast Perhaps the greatest lingering question is how and why the Ethnos fantasy races were translated into academic professions for Archeos Society's re-theme. Apparently dwarves (Ethnos) are analogous to photographers (Archeos Society), and orcs (orc board!) are akin to curators. Odd. Halflings into students seems appropriately condescending. As much as the comparison stings, though, I can't teally object into making trolls professors. I've met some that truly fit the description. Games P...
Aug 01, 2023•1 hr 11 min•Ep 272•Transcript available on Metacast Some randomness is accepted nearly uncritically by many gamers. Conventional deckbuilders have exceptionally high variance as a rule, but no one bats an eye. We accept that anything martial might have mixed results, even after repeated attempts--in fact, many protest when the wound-making is too deterministic. Tiles from a bag? Sure. The instant that locomotion is involved, though, your typical gamer gets all shirty. Magical Athlete would like a word. Games Played Last Week: 02:52 -Don't L.L...
Jul 25, 2023•1 hr 11 min•Ep 271•Transcript available on Metacast We offer to you a sampler, a little smorgasbord, a variety platter of content from our Patreon. We hope this will placate you in light of our absence last week. If you'd like more, you can of course support us on Patreon. Only if you want to, though. We'll still be wrong either way. www.patreon.com/SVWAG 03:46 Pledge of Indifference 2023-07-06 Audio (we also publish a video version) 03:56 Shipwrights of the North Sea 07:17 Tanares Adventures Ultimate Edition 11:41 Cyclades Legendary Edit...
Jul 22, 2023•1 hr 14 min•Transcript available on Metacast While we pride ourselves on editorial standards here at SVWAG, we have no shame when it comes to pandering. We thus present to you the episode of SVWAG with the most cat discussion yet. The good news is that Chandler (aka Chan-Chan aka Potato aka SVWAG Cat) is doing extremely well. Could a co-host stint be far behind? Perhaps a guest appearance by Bruno (aka SVWAG Dog)? Whatever we think the market wants. Games Played Last Week: 02:20 -The Siege of Runedar (Reiner Knizia, Ludonova, 2021) 03:27 -...
Jul 18, 2023•1 hr 29 min•Transcript available on Metacast Two crowdfunding campaigns stand before you. One only tells lies, the other only tells the truth. Both claim to be innovative and to be able to deliver on time. How do you decide which one to back? Or wait, a crowdfunding campaign launches but during the funding period every individual component is replaced by a new one; is it the same campaign? Or wait, there are five crowdfunding campaigns on one side of a track and one campaign on the other, and this trolley... 02:25 AYURIS: Imperium: The Con...
Jul 04, 2023•1 hr 2 min•Ep 269•Transcript available on Metacast It is a well-known fact, observed by Infinity: the Game, Across the Spider-Verse, and Undaunted: Battle of Britain, that a Sikh man in uniform is always a good look. So here's to pilot Singh in his Hurricane! Not to mention Sergeant Singh in his power armour, and Captain Singh in his Spider-Man movie (in my heart, it is his film). Games Played Last Week: 01:01 -The Defence of Procyon III (Dávid Turczi, PSC Games, 2021) 11:02 -That's Not a Hat (Kasper Lapp, Ravensburger, 2023) 14:49 -Beyo...
Jun 27, 2023•1 hr 11 min•Ep 268•Transcript available on Metacast Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents and everyone is running a Kickstarter. It is trivially easy to string together quotations going back to the dawn of human civilization lamenting how the youth are ruining everything, how the good old days were so great, and wishing we could go back to the golden age. See, I blame it on the baby boomers aging and succumbing more and more to nostalgia. See, in the good old days, before the boomers, we had things in perspective. 01:51 AYURIS: Ann...
Jun 20, 2023•1 hr 20 min•Ep 267•Transcript available on Metacast Mark's enthusiasm for Dungeon Scrawlers is telling. Whereas most children enjoy mazes, drawing, or even colouring, Mark instead as a child enjoyed the programmatic, deterministic mundanity of connect-the-dots. Straight(ish) lines and ascending natural numbers only, please. No doubt at a similar age Walker was already pursuing his jock/theatre kid synthesis, doing a number from Gilbert & Sullivan as his endzone dance after scoring a touchdown. 01:13 AYURIS: Soldiers in Postmen's Unifo...
Jun 13, 2023•1 hr 20 min•Ep 266•Transcript available on Metacast We are very proud of our strict editorial standards here at SVWAG. Among them is our firm stance on Monty Python references, which are very firmly circumscribed. Philosophers are mentioned all the time, but never the song; and similarly we discuss Mozart here (in two different media!) without any kind of passing gesture to his decomposition. People have tried to smuggle in other references to the show, but those responsible have been sacked. Games Played Last Week: 01:34 -Dice Hospital: ER--Emer...
May 30, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Ep 265•Transcript available on Metacast The episode notes will be released in installments. The base pledge, "Generic Non-Sequiturs," will give you the first two sentences and the last sentence. But don't miss out on the "Forced Macross Reference" add-on pack, which gives you sentence five; or the "Austen Allusion" pack featuring sentence four. The ultra-limited "Stupid Kant Wordplay" pack will never be reprinted (until, let's face it, next week's episode notes, when you'll be subjected ...
May 23, 2023•1 hr 12 min•Transcript available on Metacast It is a truth universally acknowledged in eurogames that every famous historical man (it's almost always a man, of course) had a retinue of about 2-5 hangers-on whose sole job was to impress him. They did this mostly by doing stuff he did; maybe after he did them, maybe running states he conquered, maybe even by doing the stuff he was credited with. Their names are lost to antiquity. All we know is that they liked solid colours, and that the famous dude was most impressed with one of them. G...
May 16, 2023•1 hr 7 min•Transcript available on Metacast "L'enfer, c'est les autres," wrote Sartre, which translates into "why don't nobody wanna play with me?" You see, Sartre only liked his consims and other historical wargames, but people didn't want to join him--possibly on account of there having been less history back in his old-timey days. His angst over unplayed games was the key inspiration of his existentialist philosophy. Camus tried to show him that the answer is to play with randos with his work "The St...
May 09, 2023•1 hr 28 min•Transcript available on Metacast In the show Ted Lasso (possibly the subject of a future Masterpiece Theatre?), French-Canadian goaltender Zoreaux asks to be called Van Damme. This is partly because people kept mispronouncing his name as "Zorro," and also because he admired the Muscles from Brussels. The point is that even people who thought it was stupid respected his wishes and called him what he wanted to be called, because that's what not being a jerk is. Similarly, ain't nothing necessarily wrong with being...
May 02, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Transcript available on Metacast We get introspective this week, or at least as much as the editorial gibbons allow. If we get too deep they get nervous, and as every podcaster will tell you, nervous gibbons are bad for the show. Walker, Mark alleges, is a masochist who sacrifices himself on the altar of speed, which may or may not mean game flow; Walker counters that Mark abuses the takesies-backsies. 01:50 AYURIS: Imperium: Classics and Imperium: Legends (Nigel Buckle & Dávid Turczi, Osprey Games, 2021) Games Played Last ...
Apr 25, 2023•1 hr 16 min•Transcript available on Metacast Is there a difference between a fruit salad and a fruit cup? I mean, the first question is whether a fruit cup contains a fruit salad, or if the contents are some other substance; then one can query whether the cup and its contents are a gestalt whole. Let us not forget the prospect of a fruit cup of Theseus, whereby each fruit piece is removed and replaced with an equivalent fruit (I would ask what an equivalent fruit is, but that's getting sidetracked)--is it the same fruit cup? Heraclitus...
Apr 18, 2023•1 hr 24 min•Ep 259•Transcript available on Metacast From Wikipedia: "Boglins were a series of toy puppets distributed by Mattel. They were created by Tim Clarke, Maureen Trotto, and Larry Mass, and licensed by Seven Towns. The original run of Boglins was released in 1987, coinciding with a "creatures" craze that included Ghoulies, Critters, and Gremlins. Boglins were goblin-themed hand puppets made of flexible rubber and could be manipulated to represent speech and facial expressions." Games Played Last Week: 01:26 -The Crew: The ...
Apr 11, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Ep 258•Transcript available on Metacast 
