Anne Wintemute, co-founder and CEO of Aimee Says , an AI-driven companion designed to support survivors of relationship abuse, joins me to share the inspiration behind Aimee and how it serves as an emotional support tool, offering validation, guidance, and safety planning for those navigating toxic relationships. We discuss how AI can help survivors recognize red flags, document their experiences, and access trauma-informed resources—especially in those lonely, late-night moments when support fe...
Mar 05, 2025•42 min•Ep 164•Transcript available on Metacast This episode breaks down why conventional breakup rules don’t apply when you’re dealing with manipulation, control, and gaslighting, and offers guidance on how to reclaim your boundaries, your sanity, and your life. By focusing on patterns over promises, I provide tangible steps to help you break free from the emotional tug-of-war and start taking back control. Whether you’ve experienced emotional abuse firsthand or are just looking for clarity around unhealthy relationship dynamics, this episod...
Feb 26, 2025•18 min•Ep 163•Transcript available on Metacast Can an emotionally abusive person change? Paul Colliani joins me to explore the patterns of manipulative behavior, why some people refuse to take accountability, and how anxious attachment and emotional immaturity play into abusive dynamics. We also discuss the false hope that keeps many survivors stuck, the importance of recognizing real change versus empty promises, and the hard truth that healing often means letting go. You can find Paul here: loveandabuse.com Support the show Website: Emotio...
Feb 19, 2025•1 hr 26 min•Ep 162•Transcript available on Metacast In this episode, I break down what trauma bonding really means and why it can feel so hard to leave a toxic relationship. Instead of being about sharing past trauma, trauma bonding happens because of a crazy cycle of ups and downs—brief moments of love and kindness that keep you holding on even when you're being hurt. In this episode, I discuss how these roller coaster relationships work and why promises to change often end up being tricks to keep you stuck. I also share simple tips on how ...
Feb 12, 2025•27 min•Ep 161•Transcript available on Metacast Traditional breakup rules fall short when you're dealing with a partner whose only goal is to control the narrative—and why the breakup never feels like an ending at all. In this episode, I will discuss: Unpacks the Cycle: Discover how manipulative behaviors like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and isolation keep you stuck, even when you know you deserve better. Sets New Boundaries: Learn actionable steps to reclaim your power by enforcing non-negotiable boundaries and embracing a no-contact a...
Feb 08, 2025•17 min•Ep 160•Transcript available on Metacast "Why am I stuck?" In this episode, I unpack the layers of trauma bonding, cognitive dissonance, gaslighting, and self-blame that keep survivors tethered to their abusers long after the relationship ends. I share insights from my own healing journey, including the emotional grip of intermittent reinforcement and the manipulation of vulnerability. If you've ever found yourself struggling to reconcile conflicting emotions or doubting your experiences, this episode is for you. Support...
Jan 29, 2025•22 min•Ep 159•Transcript available on Metacast How can a fear of abandonment lead to pushing people away? In this episode, I explore the complexities of anxious attachment, traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and how self-awareness can pave the way for healthier relationships. I delve into the inner conflict often experienced by individuals with BPD—a push-pull dynamic where fear of abandonment clashes with fear of engulfment. This tension frequently results in self-sabotaging behaviors that disrupt connection and trust in relat...
Jan 22, 2025•18 min•Ep 158•Transcript available on Metacast This episode dives into the misunderstood and rarely discussed topic of sexual coercion in relationships. I discuss recognizing coercive patterns and how emotional manipulation can slowly erode personal boundaries, leaving you feeling trapped, guilty, and ashamed. I also read heartbreaking comments from women who shared their own stories of being pressured, guilted, and manipulated into sex—especially during moments of vulnerability, illness, and exhaustion. If you've ever felt like your &q...
Jan 15, 2025•38 min•Ep 157•Transcript available on Metacast Divorce coaching can transform your experience when navigating high-conflict separations, especially with a narcissistic or difficult ex. Learn why proactive coaching is more effective than crisis-mode reactions, how to build resilience during calm periods, and the practical strategies that can save you emotional and financial strain. In this episode, I share real-life success stories, highlights the role of divorce coaching alongside legal and therapeutic support, and discusses how it prioritiz...
Jan 08, 2025•45 min•Ep 160•Transcript available on Metacast New Year’s resolutions often come with societal pressure to transform, but if you’re recovering from emotional abuse, they can feel overwhelming and triggering. In this episode, I share why it’s okay to step away from the noise and focus on what you truly need to move forward. In this episode: Why “New Year, New You” narratives can feel impossible when healing from abuse. The power of personal promises to yourself instead of rigid resolutions. Practical strategies for creating calm and nurturing...
Jan 01, 2025•29 min•Ep 161•Transcript available on Metacast Holidays can be a minefield of emotions, especially when past traumas resurface. In this episode, I delve into the complexities of holiday triggers and how they amplify everything. We explore understanding why holidays can trigger past trauma and ways to manage it, strategies for grounding yourself in the present moment amidst emotional upheaval, the importance of setting new traditions that prioritize your well-being. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoach...
Dec 25, 2024•24 min•Ep 159•Transcript available on Metacast Navigating co-parenting challenges with a high-conflict ex can feel overwhelming—especially during the holiday season. In this episode, I share practical strategies to manage last-minute schedule changes, manipulative behavior, and the emotional toll these dynamics can take. Learn how to stick to your court order, document effectively, and create new traditions that bring joy to you and your kids, even in the midst of chaos. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorc...
Dec 18, 2024•21 min•Ep 158•Transcript available on Metacast Navigating the holidays without your kids? You're not alone, and this episode is here to support you. On this episode, I dive into the raw realities of spending holidays apart from your children due to divorce or custody arrangements. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identi...
Dec 11, 2024•15 min•Ep 157•Transcript available on Metacast This episode dives into emotional coercion—the subtle, insidious tactics designed to control your decisions and behavior without overt aggression. From gaslighting that leaves you questioning your reality to guilt-tripping that makes you feel responsible for your partner’s happiness, I uncover the patterns that keep you stuck in toxic cycles. I also cover practical strategies to recognize red flags, break free from manipulative behaviors, and start reclaiming your confidence and autonomy. If you...
Dec 04, 2024•30 min•Ep 156•Transcript available on Metacast Coercive control is an invisible form of abuse that traps victims in a web of psychological manipulation and domination. In this episode, Dr. Christine—a survivor, protective parent, and advocate—unpacks the strategies abusers use to exert power without physical violence. From understanding the parallels between coercion and tactics used in totalitarian regimes to exploring the cultural and societal roots of abuse, this episode provides a comprehensive look at how coercive control impacts indivi...
Nov 27, 2024•40 min•Ep 155•Transcript available on Metacast Today, we are diving into Financial Coercion with Victoria Kirilloff. Victoria helps to simplify complex financial issues that often arise during divorces involving manipulation and control. In this episode we discover how to identify signs of financial coercion, learn strategies to regain control over your finances post-divorce and understand the importance of knowing your numbers for empowerment and independence. Victoria is a Holistic Wealth Consultant who specializes in helping families make...
Nov 20, 2024•47 min•Ep 154•Transcript available on Metacast We’re diving into those powerful "last straw" moments—the times when you feel that unmistakable surge of clarity that enough is truly enough. These moments don’t always come all at once; it might take several before you feel ready to fully break free. But often, they spark a deep, rising anger that fuels the decision to stand up against manipulation and control once and for all. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalab...
Nov 13, 2024•30 min•Ep 153•Transcript available on Metacast Is it love or is it control? Often disguised as love, these relationships operate under a foundation of control. In this episode, I explore the myths surrounding relationship breakdowns, moving beyond the usual assumptions of “incompatibility” or “lost affection” to reveal a darker truth: for many narcissistic abusers, love was never the endgame—control was. By understanding this crucial distinction, listeners will be guided to reassess their past experiences, recognize the signs of toxic dynami...
Nov 06, 2024•26 min•Ep 153•Transcript available on Metacast This episode dives into the fascinating (and frustrating) phenomenon of euphoric recall , where our brains play favorites with our memories, shining a spotlight on those rare “happy” moments while tucking away the pain and manipulation that came with them. We'll explore why this happens—from the brain chemistry behind it to the psychological factors that make euphoric recall so powerful in keeping us emotionally attached. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivo...
Oct 30, 2024•13 min•Ep 152•Transcript available on Metacast Sexual coercion is often misunderstood or overlooked in conversations about consent. It involves pressuring or manipulating someone into sexual activity through verbal, emotional, or physical means. These actions are frequently hidden behind societal norms that wrongly portray sex as an obligation in relationships. In this episode, Nat joins me to break down the harmful misconceptions about sex and consent. We explore how coercion shows up in relationships—whether it's through anxiety aroun...
Oct 23, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Ep 151•Transcript available on Metacast Have you wondered how and why they think the way they do? In this episode, I discuss why abusive individuals struggle with self-reflection and accountability. Discover how their fear of being perceived as 'the monster' fuels defensiveness and control tactics. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up wit...
Oct 16, 2024•11 min•Ep 150•Transcript available on Metacast Relationships with an abusive person often end not because of lost love, but due to a loss of control by one partner. This episode dives deep into the subtle tactics that can manipulate and dominate a relationship without you even realizing it. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} I...
Oct 09, 2024•26 min•Ep 149•Transcript available on Metacast One of the most distressing aspects of dealing with an emotionally abusive individual is their persistent disregard for boundaries. Most of us are left feeling powerless. In this podcast, we dive into having boundaries for yourself i nstead of focusing on changing the abuser's behavior—which often leads to disappointment. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Bl...
Oct 02, 2024•8 min•Ep 148•Transcript available on Metacast Are you finding yourself focusing on your abuser's occasional positive traits rather than acknowledging consistent abusive behavior? It’s not uncommon to see only the best versions of them despite their behavior. This episode will help you accurately see an abusive individual (with a lot of grace for yourself). Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Re...
Sep 25, 2024•7 min•Ep 147•Transcript available on Metacast Ever feel like you've been on a rollercoaster without a seatbelt? Welcome to a relationship with someone w/BPD. In this episode, I want to break down BPD. We will look at understanding the idealization-devaluation cycle typical in BPD relationships, recognizing signs of emotional dysregulation and its effects on partners and practical, actionable advice for setting boundaries and improving communication. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com In...
Sep 18, 2024•17 min•Ep 146•Transcript available on Metacast Do you feel confused all of the time? Are you wondering if they are a safe person? This confusion frequently arises from past trauma resurfacing or the dynamics of the present relationship. This episode provides an honest self-reflection and thorough questioning to help you discern if you are in a healthy, safe relationship. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog...
Sep 11, 2024•14 min•Ep 145•Transcript available on Metacast Are you feeling crazy after a breakup? The intense emotional upheaval that follows breaking up with a manipulative partner is insane. Many people find themselves questioning their sanity and grapple with self-blame and confusion—emotions often amplified by their ex-partners' toxic behaviors. This episode explores the cycle of manipulation. I explore a few key concepts: Shifting Blame: Toxic partners frequently evade accountability by shifting blame onto their victims. Emotional Chaos: They ...
Sep 04, 2024•20 min•Ep 144•Transcript available on Metacast Wondering how to work with me? This episode breaks it down. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner...
Aug 30, 2024•17 min•Ep 143•Transcript available on Metacast Do toxic relationships make you mirror abusive behaviors? In this episode, I explore a common question: am I just like them? I explore whether living with a narcissist or emotionally abusive partner can make us react in ways that feel out of character, just to survive. Key Takeaways: - Understanding reactive abuse and why it happens. - Strategies for setting boundaries with yourself and others. - The importance of recognizing your triggers and maintaining your individuality. Tune in to learn how...
Aug 28, 2024•11 min•Ep 142•Transcript available on Metacast Chantal Contorines, a high conflict co-parenting coach and mentor, joins me to delve into the complexities of "co-parenting" with a Narcissist. We discuss strategies for being the best advocate for your child. In this episode, we address: The difficulty in truly co-parenting with a narcissist due to their inability to prioritize children over their ego. How parallel parenting often becomes the necessary approach when dealing with a manipulative ex-partner. The fact that parenting doesn...
Aug 21, 2024•39 min•Ep 141•Transcript available on Metacast 
